44. FORTY-FOUR
FORTY-FOUR
Bacon sizzles in the pan before Finn gives it a flip. He’s awfully happy with himself right now, moving from counter to counter with so much more energy than before. “How would you feel about going on a walk, bunny?”
I can’t help but scoff at that. “Finn, you know I can’t.”
“I can carry you.”
“The whole time? That’s gonna be exhausting.”
The stove’s element clicks as Finn turns it to the side, before turning around in one suave move to hoist me right up out of the chair I’m on. “You know I’m strong enough, bunny. I don’t just do nothing while you sleep. I have to protect you.”
Wincing as my legs dangle in the air, I can’t deny the fact that he did that way too easily. “I… I guess… If you really want to.” What the hell am I supposed to say? It’s such an odd request but there’s still this underlying element of sweetness to it.
“I love you,” he kisses my forehead while his hands shift against my ass. The way he’s holding me feels different than before, there’s so much more desire in the way his fingers rub idle circles around my skin. “You love me too?”
I nod. “I love you, too.”
Finn lets out the happiest whine, setting me down on the counter so he can nip at my neck to leave even more ugly marks. “You do! Y-You really do… H-Hah… it’s like the best early Christmas gift…”
Christmas? That’s still like… weeks away, isn’t it? It has to be. The time couldn’t have slipped away that fast, could it?
“What… What day is it?” Blinking, my eyes scan the room for a calendar only to find nothing. I hadn’t even processed it before when I had his phone, too focused on… Well, I don’t know what. I don’t know what I thought I would find.
“It’s the twenty-first,” he mumbles while trailing soft kisses up to my chin.
“But it doesn’t even really matter to me.
I already got what I want… you.” There’s a pause before he leans back, eyeing me curiously.
“But, uh… Uh… That’s why I wanted to take you on a walk, bunny.
That’s… normal, isn’t it? That’s what you asked for? ”
Squirming, I let my head fall into his chest. “I guess. I’m just… nervous, maybe. It’s weird. I haven’t… Outside…”
“Aw… you’re nervous?” His calloused fingers gently stroke the back of my head. “That’s okay. It’ll be nice to get fresh air, won’t it? We’ll get to see the snow together, and… it’ll be really romantic—don’t you think?”
It does sound nice. He’d be super warm, and even though he’s shorter than me when I sit between his legs it feels like Finn envelopes me entirely. I really did hate it at first, but now… it feels safe.
I know that’s stupid. I know it’s ridiculous to ever feel safe around someone who’s ruined my legs—and life—forever. But really, what life was I going to have anyway?
It was either this or dying, and this is better. It’s not perfect, but it’s better. I’m loved and cared for, which is something my own family couldn’t provide me when I needed it so desperately.
“Let’s do it.” Smiling, I plant a kiss on his cheek before wrapping him in a hug. “That sounds like a lot of fun.”
Finn melts into me, shivering with what I hope is anticipation. “I love you…I love you so freaking much… You hungry? Sorry, let me get your food.”
It takes him a second but he eventually pries himself off of me, hastily putting together a plate of breakfast food before setting it down next to me. When our eyes meet he manages to get even happier.
Realistically, I should be unnerved by how much he reveres me. One positive look can make his whole day. He lights up with happiness that I never thought anyone would feel because of me. It’s scary to think about how a little over a month ago we were simply strangers.
Or, maybe a month and a half ago. Two months? I don’t know. So many days blur together now, but it was that way even before I got here. “Thanks,” I take a bite of my buttered sourdough toast.
“Should we go after lunch? I have things to do around the house, but… um…” He timidly brings his hands up to his chest. “I also wanted to cuddle… for a bit, if that’s okay.”
“Of course.” Having him ask me all in such a cute manner is enough to make me blush, which is funny considering he’s already done deplorable things to me. “I kinda wish… we had more things to do. Other than just cuddling.”
Finn frowns, taking my hand. “I know. I wish… I wish we could go on normal dates again. I had so much fun with you…” With a sigh his head tilts to the side, lips pursing before he simply shrugs. “I don’t know. I won’t let anyone take you away from me, Duncan. I can’t risk it.”
“I know, but…”
“But nothing,” he says firmly with a kiss to my forehead. I don’t miss the way he has to stand up on his tippy toes to do so. “You’re mine, and I’m yours. We don’t need anybody else.”
My mind wanders to Haley. The news never said anything about her, but… maybe she decided to try and find me? Maybe she’s the only reason anyone even knows I’m missing? I’d be fine just knowing that her life is still good, that my bullshit hasn’t taken her off track.
There’s not really a way for me to know, is there? The last thing I’d want to do is get Finn in trouble, and… and what? God, what a thought. The shame is still there, it’s not lost on me—knowing that I’m actively defending the guy who did this.
With a touch that feels far too tender, Finn pulls me off the counter into his arms. This game of house we’re playing really isn’t all that bad. Love is enough for me, and I like being loved by Finn.