Chapter 16 #2
‘This ’Appy Together app is brilliant.’ Her dad arrived next to Devan and clapped him jovially on the back.
Percy Bagnor, manager of the local bank and a man who never used to take his suit off, other than for getting naked with his bank staff in the stationery cupboard.
Sickening. And here he was, wearing moth-eaten corduroy?
‘We’re so enjoying working through our tasks together. ’
What was this, an impromptu meeting of the Devan Shaw fan club? And were these two using the damned app too? She vaguely remembered it claimed it could help both singles and couples in need.
Though her dad had always praised everything Devan did when they were growing up, even if her achievements only ever disappointed him.
‘I’m feeling so romantic with it all. We might even treat ourselves to a second honeymoon,’ Pearl enthused. ‘Devan’s parents are always off doing something lovely. I do envy their extended trip to the Maldives right now. Maybe I should dust off my bikini!’
‘Always a treat.’ Percy gave his wife a wink.
Alyssa’s stomach turned.
‘Anyway, look. Our plot is right next to yours.’ Percy gave a smile that could light up nearby planets as he put an arm around her mother and planted a soft kiss on her dirt-speckled forehead.
Yuk. Were these two getting paid? How much could she pay them to just naff off?
And if this app wasn’t powered by evil for randomly throwing her next to the Bagnors … ‘What a delightful year we’re all going to have, working side by side,’ said her mother, looking positively gleeful. ‘Not that we’ve met you before.’ Another exaggerated wink.
All. Year?
‘Wait, what?’ Alyssa snapped at Devan, as her parents wandered off. ‘I thought we’d be done before lunch?’
‘Creating an allotment takes time,’ Devan explained, as though she was five. ‘The app is encouraging us to have shared responsibilities. Mutual interests. Commitment. All important ingredients, wouldn’t a love coach also say?’
‘Committed to growing broad beans?’ said Alyssa, through slightly gritted teeth. Blooming marvellous.
‘More time for budding relationships to blossom and grow.’ Devan gave her a winning grin. ‘Talking of which, when are you going to stop denying those nice people are your parents, and that you’re from here?’
‘At around the time you admit you were a two-timing sleaze.’
Devan opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a reporter wanting to talk about his bloody brilliant love app.
Alyssa had been relieved Devan wasn’t wearing a too-small, stomach-flashing Save Hartglove T-shirt that morning – but perhaps she shouldn’t have been. Because it looked like things were about to get worse.
‘Dev, do you need overalls?’ said a young guy, who’d been working on one of the allotments. ‘Can’t get your good stuff dirty.’
Teijo had disappeared somewhere with his list, looking flustered. Alyssa wouldn’t mind betting he’d forgotten some supplies.
‘Cheers, Cole,’ said Devan, giving the guy a blokey arm clap as he handed him a pair of overalls.
Alyssa didn’t recognise Cole, although most of the people they’d grown up with had moved away for work or uni and had never come back. Maybe that was why the town wasn’t winning any awards for its love statistics. The youngsters had all got fed up and buggered off.
Devan was still smiling and chatting to anyone who passed, with an ease that was almost vexing when you weren’t so good at it.
Though what was he doing now? Alyssa willed her jaw not to drop.
The man was peeling off his clothes as though he was in some sort of gym changing room.
In front of half of the town, and a bunch of people with cameras.
Really? Didn’t he get that overalls literally went over all?
That was the actual point of them. You didn’t need to do a striptease.
God, he was probably one of those guys who posed around communal changing rooms and dried his pubes with a hairdryer.
Alyssa wanted to feel more irritated at his bravado – but as the situation unfolded, she was struggling not to giggle.
He was naked from the waist up now, which was clearly unnecessary, but the cameras were loving it.
She cocked her head. Talking of gyms, was he working out more these days?
He didn’t used to have pecs that were quite so well-sculpted, nor abs that her gran could have scrubbed undies on.
How did people get those, anyway? She’d once done sit-ups every morning for a whole week, and had got nothing, other than a strange twinging in her side.
‘Everything OK, Alyssa?’ Devan winked at her.
Damn, had she been staring? Well, it was his fault for parading around like a prize poodle. She willed her brain back to the pube drying image, which was safer all round.
‘Just thinking about …’ She searched for excuses. Pubes? Washboard stomachs? ‘Outfits! Such a shame I didn’t bring my garden wear.’ Was that what people called it? Who knew. She did her best to hold eye contact, because it was rude to look at people’s nipples.
‘I’ve got spare overalls at the shop,’ said a woman, from amid the throng. It was Jess, who’d served her in the convenience shop on Apple Blossom Lane a few times since she’d arrived here. ‘You don’t want to get your designer things ruined.’
Alyssa wasn’t about to say her designer clothes were vintage, if vintage meant cheap and pre-loved.
‘I’m fine, honestly,’ said Alyssa. It was easier not to ask for favours nor get too friendly.
‘Or I could pop home and get you something of mine?’ Pearl offered.
Alyssa tried not to visibly baulk.
‘I’ll go straight away,’ Jess replied, giving Alyssa a look that said nobody wants to dress like a lady who may or may not be your mother.
Alyssa’s relief was palpable. Now and again, the universe threw her a bone, amongst the shit bombs. Perhaps it was OK to accept this one.
‘That’s a shame,’ said Devan, who’d drawn close enough to whisper into Alyssa’s ear, his breath making her skin prickle.
At least he had his overalls done up now, even if he shouldn’t be invading her space with his bothersome lips.
‘I would have loved to have seen you in one of Pearl’s floral trouser suits. Maybe that’s a task for later.’
‘You wish,’ she hissed back, still smiling for the cameras.
These tasks might be hideous, but she could at least enjoy a touch of ribbing. Let the garden games begin.