Chapter 13
Twenty-eight days. It’s been twenty-eight days since I left the hope of Audrey in my rearview mirror. I deserved every word that she spewed onto me. Seeing her back in Oakwood Valley, I thought maybe we could start over, try again like the past never happened. I know how much I hurt her. Watching her push me away, the pain written all over her face as she told me she wouldn’t stay…that’s the worst I’ve felt in a long time. At least, in the ten years since I stood her up for our first date.
Noah clears his throat to bring me back to the task at hand. My mind is wandering so often these days. It’s hard to focus on anything other than her radiant eyes and her strawberry scent. For now, the smell of fermented grapes will have to do as we pace through the vast wine cellar under the Winthrop property, taking inventory of various vintages from the last twenty years, tallying up shiny bottles of wine and towering oak barrels lining the walls.
“What’s on your mind, son?” He always knows when something is up. Nothing gets past him.
“Audrey.” No point in lying. He knows I’ve been fucked up over her since I was a teenager. He hums and matches my pace beside me with his hands behind his back. Even though he says nothing, I feel the need to say more.
“I messed up. Again.” He just nods. He’s really going to get it all out of me right now, isn’t he? I let out a sigh and stop walking. Noah halts beside me.
“I kissed her, because she wanted me to. And…well, things were getting a little heated…” I look over at him, feeling awkward because that’s her grandfather. He chuckles and shakes his head.
“Son, I was young once. You know, Vi and I were really adventurous when we were your age. One time, she and I were going at it in the back of—” I throw my hands over my ears and start yelling nonsense words to avoid hearing where this conversation is going. His laugh is hearty as he claps on my shoulder.
“You’re trying, son. You’ve got a good heart, and I can see how much you care for Audrey. But you’ve got to understand the hurt runs deep. Growing up without her mother, dealing with the chaos her dad brought into her life, mourning her first big heartbreak.” Noah gives me a soft smile that I feel I don’t deserve. I broke her heart. I did. God, I want to fix it. “Well, that doesn’t heal quick. Be patient. Give her time,” he replies.
I absorb his words, averting my gaze to focus on a lone cork on the ground. I bend down to pick it up, prodding it with my fingernails. Give her time. Yeah, well, how’s ten years’ time for you? It hurts every part of me knowing that Audrey’s life wasn’t easy. It hurts even more knowing that I contributed to make it more difficult than it already was. Noah lets out a deep exhale, breaking me out of my daze.
“And now she’s in a relationship with someone she doesn’t even want to be with.”
My eyes widen. “What do you mean? Did she say something to you?”
He sighs and rubs his face. “No. She hasn’t said anything, but I know. I know my granddaughter.” His voice chokes up slightly, and I put my hand on his shoulder.
“She’s broken. When she came in through the door for the first time in nine years, I let out a breath I’d been holding. I looked into her eyes, and they were empty,” he murmurs, his eyes fixed on me. I know what he means. I saw the emptiness and brokenness too. But then I’d watch her come back for a fleeting moment, gone as fast as it came.
“She wouldn’t talk to me about New York, you know? About Kellan? So, I stopped pushing,” he sighs, resting his hands on his hips as he looks out at a wall of barrels.
“Look, all I want is for Audrey to be happy. And I’m saying you’ve got a chance, kid. So get her back,” he says, poking his index into my chest.
Get her back? As easy as that, huh? Audrey slipped right through my fingers when I’d begged for her to stay with me. She chose to stay with him. She chose her life in New York, making it crystal clear that there was no longer space for me in her life. Over the last month, I’d gotten used to the dull ache in my heart. An ache that yearned for her so desperately, no matter how hard I tried to let her go.
“Have you talked to her since she left?” he asks. I dig my thumb nail deep into the cork I picked up earlier, leaving a half-moon indent before stuffing it in my pocket. “No. By the way things ended last month, she doesn’t want to hear from me again,” I mutter, wiping the sweat from my brow with the back of my hand. Noah scoffs and tilts his head.
“Son, I was married for sixty years to the same woman I was in love with since I was eighteen years old. Quit being stupid. She wants to hear from you again. You just need to step up and fight.”
I put my hands on my hips and look down at my boots.
“Noah, I did that?—”
“So do it again,” he clips, quirking his brow with a sly smirk on his lips.
“So what, I fly to New York and get her back?” It doesn’t sound that crazy when I say it out loud. I wasted too many years on sulking and blaming everyone else. Jess, Duke, my dad, but never me. I did this. She doesn’t even know why. If I have any chance of getting her to forgive me, I need her to know the truth. And I won’t stop until she hears it from me.
“That’s exactly what you do. You love her, don’t you?” The question hits me hard. Do I love her? Do I think about her every second of every day? Do I live for her laugh, her smile, the way she says my name? Do I love the way she fits in my arms, and how we touch and play?
I love her. I love Audrey.
“I do, Noah. I really do.” He smiles.
“Well, son, I think I got inventory covered for the next couple of days,” he says casually as he makes marks on the clipboard he was holding, a subtle curl in his lips.
I stand there, my heart pumping blood through my ears. Am I really doing this? Noah puts his hand on my back and says, “Well, what are you standing here for? Don’t you have a girl to win back?”
That’s all it takes for me to take off running out of the cellar and straight to my cabin to arrange a flight.
Time to get my girl.