Chapter 14
Cool air whooshes across my face as I open the door to the penthouse. It’s silent and dark, with only the light of dusk seeping through the windows.
My heels echo through the empty kitchen, glancing around for any sign of life. “Hello? Kellan?” I call out, only hearing the faint sound of the air conditioning whirring. He must be working in his office.
I place the takeout I picked up for dinner on the dining room table, slipping my heels off in relief.
I wiggle my toes and stretch the arches of my feet while unpacking our dinner, pulling pad thai and spring rolls out of the plastic bag and arranging them at our place settings.
I call out for Kellan, letting him know dinner is ready. Silence. I sit down against the plush velvet chair and bring my leg across my knee, massaging the pads of my feet after walking in stilettos all day.
My mind takes me to Donovan, as it usually does. After talking to Jess, Donovan has taken up permanent residency in my thoughts these days. I wonder if he’s out in the vineyard, his skin gleaming under the sun. Does he think about our kiss? Or the way our bodies melded into one another? Like they were made for each other?
I startle out of my thoughts when I hear Kellan’s voice carry down the hallway. “Little bird, come to my office.”
I take a deep breath and saunter down the hall. His door is slightly ajar, and I lean on the door frame to find him sitting on the leather couch.
“Hey. I picked up Thai. Your favorite,” I say softly.
His eyes are dark, narrowing at me. A glass of cognac sits on a coaster in front of him. His legs spread open as he leans back on the couch, the top buttons of his dress shirt undone. His hair is unusually disheveled—a far cry from his typical uniform quiff, slicked to perfection. An uneasiness creeps over me, a heavy rock sitting in the pit of my stomach.
“Come here,” he says huskily, beckoning me with his finger. I walk toward him, bracing myself on instinct. I lower myself onto the couch and Kellan’s body moves swiftly on top of mine. He pins my arms above my head and bites my neck. Hard.
His lips are on mine before I can register the pain. “Open your mouth,” he growls, and I comply.
What did you do, Audrey?
His tongue assaults my mouth. Swirling around with traces of cognac on my taste buds. Spicy cologne and alcohol sting my nostrils. He grips my wrists tighter above my head, grinding his hard length on top of me. I grunt and struggle as he puts his entire body weight over mine.
“What are you thinking about right now, little bird?” he growls.
Donovan’s face flashes into my mind. Kellan looks at me with curiosity, and I try my best to lie.
“You. I’m thinking about you,” I murmur, doing my best to sell him on my act.
His smile is sinister, making my insides twist in fear. Panic beats down the door to my chest. I try to keep my breathing as even as possible.
“Are you lying to me?” he asks deviously. I feel the heat spreading down my neck to my lungs. The pulse in my throat beats rapidly.
“No,” I reply, looking straight into his whiskey eyes, praying he buys it.
Please, please don’t hurt me.
His smile disappears and the face staring back at me is pure evil. It’s an empty shell of a man who is no longer in there. All that’s left is rage and revenge. It turns my blood ice cold.
“You’re a fucking liar, aren’t you?” he sneers, gripping my cheeks between his large, calloused hand. A low groan vibrates in his chest as he tightens his grip, biting down on my bottom lip as I wince.
Our kiss breaks, and I taste iron and metal.
“You sure you’re not thinking about Donovan, little bird?” he hisses in my ear. My eyes widen in fear at the sound of Donovan’s name coming out of Kellan’s mouth.
Stay calm, Audrey.
I wrap my legs tighter around Kellan’s waist and confidently look into his eyes.
“Donovan, who? He means nothing,” I softly whisper.
Donovan who? Donovan King, my everything.
He applies unbearable pressure on my hips, giving me no control. The tip of his nose traces along my jaw, down to my neck. He trails his lips back up to my ear.
“Do you think I’m fucking stupid, Audrey?” he seethes, his teeth nipping my earlobe. I try to flinch away, but he squeezes my wrists harder, putting me in my place.
“Did you think you could hide that little love letter to your precious Donovan?”
Fuck.
He knew. He knew I was hiding something the minute he came into my office on the day I wrote it. My reaction to him barging in must have piqued his interest. Why didn’t I burn that fucking letter like I had intended? Goddamn it.
“That meant nothing, Kellan. I’m yours. Take me, please,” I plead, needing to do anything to get his mind off of Donovan. His pupils grow larger, his eyes almost black. He lifts his face up further from mine, tilting his head.
“You fucked him, didn’t you?” he grins devilishly, striking an ungodly fear in the deepest parts of my soul.
“No!” I bark, squirming beneath him.
“I bet you’re wet right now, huh? Thinking about Donovan. Let’s see,” he drawls, holding my wrists with one hand and sliding the other down toward my skirt.
I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to shut Donovan out of my mind. But all I see is his beautiful face. His charming grin. I hear his laugh. I feel his warmth. I taste his kiss.
God damn it, Donovan.
I twist my hips around, trying to keep Kellan’s hands from getting underneath my skirt. I fail, and he succeeds.
He cocks his eyebrow up once his hand is beneath my legs. “You are wet for him. You little slut.”
Fucking fight, Audrey. Fight back.
Tears are forming in the back of my eyes, the familiar sting balling up, ready to be released. Donovan’s face refuses to leave me. He’s begging me to not give up. Those pleading ocean eyes, telling me to fight like hell.
I stare daggers into Kellan’s gaze, a rush of motivation flowing in my blood. I brace myself, turning my spine to steel as I flash him the same devilish grin he gave me earlier.
You want a fight, Kellan? I’ll give you a fight.
“You will never make me wet the way he does. You will never make me feel the way he makes me feel,” I seethe, my voice sharp like a double-edged sword. “And you will never fucking touch me ever again,” I growl out, my voice unrecognizable.
Before Kellan can react, I spit in his face and jab my knee up into his balls, forcing him to release me.
Run, Audrey.
Adrenaline pumps through my blood as I slide off the couch, Kellan groaning behind me. As I get up to run, he grabs my ankle, dragging me back toward him.
“You fucking cunt, get over here!” he yells, fighting the pain in his groin. He yanks me by my ankle, dragging me on my back. I use my free leg to kick him in the chest, sending him stumbling.
I scramble to get back on my feet, making a beeline out of his office. His heavy footsteps are close behind me. I know I can’t outrun him.
Think fast, Audrey.
A large vase sits on a display just within my reach. I outstretch my arm and grip the neck just as Kellan’s fingers grapple with my top, trying to pull me back into his hold. The adrenaline charged in my body fuels my strength to heave the vase at his head, smashing apart into tiny fragments around us.
“Agh, fucking bitch!” he grunts angrily, grasping at the eyelid that’s slashed with glass. Blood. I see blood.
Keep going.
I frantically stumble into the hall, picking my feet up as fast as they can take me. My heart thumps a thousand beats per minute. My entire body stings. I can’t move fast enough. A rip of fabric, a firm hand twisting my hair, and the brute force of a man’s power slams me facedown onto the cold, marble floor.
“I fucking gave you everything, Audrey! And this is how you repay me? Fucking another man?!” he screams out as I struggle to get back on my feet. Next thing I know, I’m being flung against the glass coffee table in the middle of the living room.
Sharp pain shoots through my body as the glass shatters around me. In me. Kellan grasps my nape and jerks me through the glass, lacerating my legs with every inch. Searing pain. I scream until my vocal cords fry. I can’t get his hands off of me.
Don’t give up. Keep fighting.
He tosses me on the cold floor and straddles my torso, hitting the side of my head so hard with his fist that my ears ring.
“I gave you this penthouse! I gave you lavish gifts! I gave you a fucking life here when you had nothing!” he roars in my face. His saliva sprays across my cheek. My head spins. I’m losing control.
Keep going, Audrey. Don’t give up.
I open my palm and strike him hard against his cheek, but it barely makes a dent. I go in for another hit, using all the strength I have left. He catches my wrist mid-air, slamming it down.
“Fuck you, Kellan!”
My scream is guttural, casting out from the depths of my soul. Tears soak my face. I feel no pain, even though I’m bleeding from so many places. How much blood can a person lose before they die? I wish I knew the answer. I’m afraid I’ll find out.
Kellan wraps his hands around my throat, immediately cutting off my oxygen. My eyes bulge, flitting back and forth between his pupils, the blood from his face dripping onto my clothes.
“I fucking love you, Audrey. Why do you do this to me?!” he grunts out. The edges of my vision darken. I’m losing air quickly.
Stay awake. Don’t go.
“I love you. God, I love you, little bird,” he sobs. His hands grip harder. Anger shakes his body. I lose my hearing. I’m fading. I can’t hold on anymore.
In my last lucid moment, I see a shadow blurring in the corner of my eye, and Kellan’s hands suddenly release my neck. I gasp and struggle for air, my throat on fire.
My vision is hazy, no matter how fervently I blink to bring the room back into focus. A scuffle happens in front of me, bodies moving. I can’t tell what I am looking at. I float in and out of consciousness, struggling to stay awake.
I want to sleep. Let me rest my eyes now.
The struggle turns still. I feel strong arms wrap around me and lift me up. The noises around me muffle, dampened by the enormous pounding in my head. There’s someone beside us, another blurry silhouette smudged like ink spilled on wet paper.
My eyelids shut.
I can’t do it.
“I’ve got you, baby. It’s okay. Mouse, I’m here. I’ve got you,” he echoes.
Donovan?
Sleep takes me away as soon as I hear Mouse. Quiet, dark, still, and gone.
The first thing I smell is sterile air, almost too clean. A fifty-pound weight sits heavily on my chest as I try to get up. The pain is unbearable, like I’ve been dragged through a sea of glass. There’s the sharp stabbing up and down my legs. The dull ache in my temples, thumping with every blink. The screaming ring in my ears. But I’m alive.
The fluorescent white lights above blind me and I blink rapidly to focus my vision. A faint beeping sound blips in my ear as I look over and see the neon green line on the monitor spike in a steady cadence.
I open my mouth to call out for help and a hot torch of scorching fire brands my vocal cords. I silently cry out, wincing at the pain. A hoarse breath escapes my throat. I run my fingers down the column of my throat. It’s sensitive to the touch. I gently press my lymph nodes, puffy and swollen.
My head stops spinning for a moment to focus on the corner of the room where a body slumps in a chair. I squint my eyes only to see a sleeping, beautiful man. My man.
My Donovan.
His arms are crossed, chin tucked into himself. His shoulders rise and fall with every breath. I need to see his eyes.
He’s here? He’s in New York? How long? The dull ache in my temples persists as I try to piece together the last memories I have. I wince at the sharp stab that pierces the side of my head. What the fuck happened to me?
I shuffle in the hospital bed, tubes attached to my arms, constricting my range of motion. His head slowly rises and his eyes flicker open. And then he looks my way. The pull from his ocean blues searing into me is enough to take any pain I feel away in an instant. And for a moment, I feel nothing. No throbbing, no sharpness, no sting. As soon as his eyes meet mine, I know I’m going to be okay.
He scrubs a hand over his face and rushes to the side of my bed, dragging the chair with him along the floor. The instant our hands touch, the years of heartache, confusion, and anger fade to nothing. He’s here.
“Hey, Mouse,” he whispers sweetly. His smile is small, but it’s enough to expose his sweet dimples—I’d reach out and touch them if I could. He opens up my hand and lays my palm on his cheek, kissing the inside. I try to respond, but he shushes me and laces his fingers through mine, pressing his lips against my knuckles.
You’re here. I missed you. I love you.
“It’s best you don’t talk. Your throat needs to heal. There’s a lot of bruising and your vocal cords are swollen. You also have a mild concussion, but with rest, you’ll be okay,” he softly whispers. My eyes search his for answers, and it’s like he reads my mind.
“I booked a flight yesterday. Noah gave me your address. He wasn’t completely sure if you still lived there, but I came anyway.”
He gently kisses my fingers, taking a deep breath before he continues. “I landed and took a cab straight to your apartment. The doorman wouldn’t let me in when I asked to see you. A guy walking in asked how I knew your name. He told me his name was Briggs.” A small smile of relief appears on my lips. I knew Briggs was good people.
“I begged him to let me come up to see you. I came to fight for you, to explain everything and ask for your forgiveness,” he murmurs. His gaze tears away from me for only a second, and my hand is on his cheek, gently moving him back to look in my direction. His jaw clenches, and his Adam’s apple bobs up and down.
“He’s a good guy. He let me in, and that’s when we heard you screaming,” he croaks out, his eyes watering. He clears his throat and pushes the tears away, squeezing my hand tighter.
“Briggs and I barged in just in time as Kellan was…choking you,” he fumes, his eyes darkening as he replays the painful memory back in his head. The memory of Kellan’s death grip around my neck suddenly becomes clear. Lack of air, scorching pain, everything fading to black. “I tackled him to get him off of you, and Briggs came in and knocked him out with the butt end of his handgun.”
I close my eyes and take a second to absorb his words. It’s a lot to take in. A heavy weight of guilt and shame form in my chest.
If I had never written that letter to Donovan, I wouldn’t have made Kellan so angry. It’s my fault that I’m lying here, beaten. Donovan shouldn’t have to see me this way. The tears build up beneath my eyelids, but I’m too tired to push them away. I’m tired of lying. I’m tired of being weak.
My lip quivers, thinking about how sorry I am for this whole mess. When I look up at Donovan, the shadows under his eyes give weight to his expression: sad, hurt, and angry. I did this to him.
I mouth, “I’m sorry,” and he shakes his head.
“No, Mouse. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you,” his voice cracks. I can see the tears welling in his eyes. He is trying to be strong for me, but I need him to know how grateful I am. He came back for me.
I lift his chin to meet my gaze and point to his chest. I mouth the words you…saved, then point to my heart, me.
He leans over and wraps his arms gently behind my head, holding me and peppering gentle kisses all over my face and lips. My hands wrap around the back of his head, and I kiss him deeply, with so much longing and forgiveness. I taste the salt on his lips from his tears. The pain he must feel to have watched me in that state.
He pulls back, settling into the chair. His finger lightly traces the side of my head where Kellan hit me.
A faint knock thumps on the door. Briggs’ burly frame slides in as he nods at Donovan and smiles softly in my direction.
“Hey, Ms. Winthrop. Good to see you awake,” he utters, gravel voiced, standing beside my bed as he pats my shoulder. I reach out for him to take my hand, and he gently places it in his large palm. I squeeze my fingers with his, showing as much gratitude as I can.
“What’s the update, Briggs?” Donovan asks, lightly tracing the pads of his fingers along my arm. His touch is keeping me calm. Grounded. A reminder that I’ve made it through the worst night of my life.
“It took some convincing, but the doctor agreed to release her tomorrow morning,” he says, a weary sigh slips past his lips. “But Kellan is only being held for the night.” Briggs and Donovan share a look of concern before they both turn back to me. Just for the night? He tried to fucking kill me. My breaths become short and ragged, stinging my chest as random spurts of pain shoot through me.
“Fuck,” Donovan mutters. “Briggs, do you mind giving us a minute?” he asks, standing from his chair.
“Sure thing, Mr. King. I’ll be right outside,” Briggs replies, shaking Donovan’s hand and grazing my elbow as he quietly leaves the room.
Donovan comes back and settles beside me, grasping my hands in his. “Listen to me, Mouse,” he murmurs. I nod and urge him to go on. “With Kellan getting released tomorrow, I can’t let you stay here a minute longer. I’ll book us two tickets home for tomorrow morning—just say you’ll have me,” he whispers. If only my vocal cords weren’t swollen, I’d tell him I’m ready to leave with him anywhere. The only way I know how is to show him. He opens his mouth to say something, and I muster all of my strength to kiss him.
I’ll follow you anywhere. As long as I’m with you. Take me away.
He returns my kiss, gently cupping my cheek. I ache for more, but he pulls away, resting his forehead on mine. The overwhelming scent of musk and teak overpowers the sterile hospital air. I draw in another breath of his scent, grounding myself in the reality that he’s here with me. He lifts his gaze to mine, taking a deep breath.
“Audrey, I want you to come home with me, but I have to tell you what happened that night,” he murmurs. I press my finger to his lips, quietly shaking my head. I swallow a lump in my throat, feeling the burning sensation as my vocal cords uncomfortably rub together.
I need to tell him I know. I know everything. I work up enough strength to exhale just below a whisper, holding his face close so he can hear me.
“I know what happened,” I breathe out. He places a soft kiss on the column of my throat. With every kiss, it holds the magic to heal me. The pain escapes with every touch. I let out a weak smile and stare into his eyes.
“You know? But how? Noah never knew…” His brow furrows while his eyes flicker between our hands.
“Jess.” I hold my throat while searching for his gaze. “Jess,” I whisper softly.
“Jess? She told you? But h—” I nod and kiss him lightly on the lips, holding him close while I nuzzle my nose in the crook of his neck. His hand wraps around my nape, kissing my hair. He moves my head back to face him again.
“I just need you to hear it from me, okay?” he begs softly. I mouth okay as he tucks a strand of my hair away from my face. This explanation is one that I’ve yearned to know the answer to for ten years. Hearing it from Jess is one thing, but hearing it from Donovan means everything. I realize now that it wasn’t just my loss that summer, it was his. Ours. No matter what words leave his lips in this moment, I choose forgiveness. I choose us.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t fight harder for us. I meant everything I said that night. Everything I felt, everything we did? It was all real for me,” he murmurs, holding my hand against his cheek. His eyes shimmer and a slight grin appears on his gorgeous face. “You are the realest thing that has ever happened to me, Mouse. You changed my life that night. I never should have let you go,” he whispers.
There are no more dull aches or stabbing pains shooting through me at this very moment. Donovan’s words heal me from the inside out. Kellan’s vicious mark is defeated by Donovan’s overwhelming love.
“I won’t let anyone hurt you again. I vow to protect you, to keep you safe. Please. Can you forgive me? Come home with me?” he asks with teary eyes.
“Yes and yes,” I whisper hoarsely. Our lips meld into one another. Made for each other. Ten years of wondering, answered with a simple kiss.