Chapter 16
I wipe the foggy mirror with my hand after I step out of the shower. I’ve spent the last three weeks in Donovan’s cabin, healing and processing. Not to mention the endless orgasms. Since we willingly crossed that line last week, it’s been nonstop between us. Absolutely insatiable. We hadn’t had sex yet—he’s waiting for me to be ready. But he’s made me feel so good, better than I’ve ever felt.
It’s not just the way he touches me, but the way he believes in me and lets me take things at my own pace. He’s been waiting on me hand and foot from the second I came flying back into his life, and I have a good feeling that he’s not letting me go this time.
I don’t want him to.
I lean in closer to the mirror and tilt my head back to see that the bruising on my neck is nearly gone. As I rub along the column of my throat, the painful memory of Kellan choking me flashes in my mind. But this time, it’s quickly overtaken by the memories of Donovan waking me up every morning with kisses, holding hands on the front porch, and nights spent laughing so hard we can hardly breathe.
I drop my towel down to see the bruising on my arms and shoulders have disappeared, replaced by ghosts of Donovan’s kisses. I shake out my hair from the towel and rest my palms flat on the bathroom counter. The eyes that look back resemble my own, and my hair is back to its original color. I lean in closer and touch the freckles across my nose. The corners of my mouth turn up. I feel like I can finally breathe.
No more hiding, no more fear, no more anger. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this version of myself. I want her to stick around.
I hear the bathroom door creak open as Donovan walks in wearing only a pair of athletic shorts, glistening with sweat. He went for a run this morning and it shows. The veins on his arms bulge, his muscles swollen with the morning pump.
The hard line between his chest that traces down to his six—no, eight pack—is perfectly tan and smooth. I drool over the way his Adonis belt points a perfect V down past the band of his shorts, leaving my imagination rampant.
He sees me naked in front of the mirror and smiles, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. He presses a soft kiss into my hair.
“Hey, Mouse. Sorry, I’m sweaty.”
I don’t care. I love feeling his warmth and the way our bodies seamlessly fit together. His chin rests on top of my shoulder as we stare at each other through the mirror.
“I think I’m gonna go see Pop today. I miss him, and I know he’s been worried about me,” I utter softly. His thumbs rub tiny circles right below my belly button. He breathes me in before responding.
“I think that’s a great idea, if you’re feeling up for it. There’s no rush,” he says with genuine care.
“Yes, I’m ready. I’m gonna go into town as well and run some errands.” I shrug my shoulders and rest my head on his shoulder. He kisses my cheek and looks back in the mirror.
“I can come with you?” he sweetly offers. I smile and turn to kiss him on the mouth. He lifts me up onto the bathroom counter with ease, as if I weigh nothing. I break our kiss and lay my hands on his hard chest.
“It’s okay. I’ll go. You need to go back to work.” Donovan has taken the last three weeks off to be with me. The three most phenomenal weeks.
Every day we went for quad rides around the property. We’d make out like teenagers in the woods. He’d play his guitar while I would read my favorite romance novels. He would even try all of my breakfast concoctions like berry strudels and truffle quiches. We kept each other fed in every way possible. It’s the time I needed to get back on my feet. Now I can focus on myself and the dreams I had stowed away.
“I don’t want to go back to work with you looking like this in front of me,” he rasps, peppering kisses down my neck and over my chest, making me giggle as my legs wrap around his torso.
“You stink. Go take a shower,” I counter.
The playful grin on his lips softens, his eyes follow suit. I tilt my head, observing him closely. The perfect dip of his Cupid’s bow, the definition of his strong jawline. He lifts his hand to my cheek, gently caressing my skin. Gooseflesh pricks along where his fingers trail, lightly touching the column of my throat.
His eyes graze my entire body, savoring me. Warmth creeps into my cheeks as I timidly cross my arms over my breasts.
“Nuh-uh, don’t hide from me, baby. Let me see you,” he whispers huskily, gently uncrossing my arms. His hands grip into my hips, gently lifting me off the counter to stand. The pads of his fingers lightly trace over my pubic bone, around to the small of my back. He slowly turns me toward the mirror, our eyes meeting in the reflection.
“I want you to see what I see,” he murmurs against my ear, sending shivers down my neck from his breath. He holds me from behind, melting into his chest.
“What do you see?” I croon. He presses his lips into my shoulder before responding.
“I see a woman who fought really hard to be here.”
An intense flutter moves through me. I soak in his words and stare back into my reflection. “I see the most beautiful person I’ve ever known,” he whispers, kissing my neck. “And I see us making it, Mouse. A real shot at this—nothing holding us back,” he says intently in the mirror, his dimpled grin melting my insides.
I see it too.
Donovan and I drive down the winding roads through the vineyard on the way to the house I grew up in. It’s weird to call it my house these days, because it doesn’t really feel like my house since spending every night in Donovan’s cabin. It’s Gran and Pop’s house. I know that the moment I step foot into that place, I have to tell Pop everything. My stomach is in knots just thinking about it.
Donovan’s fingers intertwine with mine over the center console. He catches me staring and pulls my hand in to kiss it.
“You okay, Mouse?” he asks, concern growing on his face. I love that he knows when something is on my mind.
“I’m nervous to see Pop. I know I’m gonna have to unpack everything that happened with Kellan,” I murmur. Saying his name seems foreign now but still tastes like battery acid as it rolls off my tongue. “But these last few weeks with you have been amazing. It’s just hard to bring up the bad stuff when I’ve been in all the good with you,” I sigh.
A subtle grin tugs his lips as he keeps his eyes on the road. I lean over, kissing him on the cheek. We really can’t keep our hands off each other. I blame it on the ten years of separation.
“It’s going to be hard, but you are the strongest woman I know. Noah loves you and he trusts that you’re going to be alright. With or without me. You are enough on your own. You know that, right?”
I bring his hand to my cheek and kiss his fingers. My eyes well up with tears. I’ve never had anyone tell me I was enough. The way Donovan says it makes me truly believe that I can be strong on my own two feet, that I don’t need to be controlled by fear or manipulation anymore.
“I’d rather be alright with you than without,” I admit, smiling into his hand.
“Always, baby,” he softly whispers.
“Do you love me?” I blurt out. The words come out faster than I could stop them.
What the hell, Audrey?
Donovan’s mouth gapes open, his eyes flitting back and forth between me and the road. I cover my face in embarrassment.
“I don’t know why I asked that. Don’t answer that. I’m sorry,” I mutter into my hands.
I feel the truck swerve to the side of the road and Donovan hits the brakes. I peek through my fingers as he puts the truck in park, the engine still running. He grabs both of my hands across the console and looks at me intensely with those navy eyes. He takes a deep breath and lightly kisses my knuckles.
“Audrey Wren Winthrop, I didn’t know it then, but I have loved you since I was eighteen years old. I loved you from the moment I watched you walk through the gate in your white dress. I loved you from the moment I heard your laugh and kissed you in the gazebo. I loved you from the moment we made love for the first time, just two young kids not knowing what they were getting themselves into. I have loved you for the last ten years, and every moment since, and every moment forward.”
The words are too much for my heart to handle. I lunge forward and wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him like it’d be my last. He slides me onto his lap to straddle him and he holds me, his chin resting on my shoulder. “So, to answer your question? Yeah. I love you, Mouse,” he whispers.
I pull my head back and hold his face in my hands. “Say it again,” I whisper back, smiling so big my cheeks hurt.
He peppers me with small kisses and smiles against my lips, over and over. “I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you,” he murmurs, meaning every word. I throw my head back and laugh as he attacks my entire face with kisses. I catch my breath and lock in on those deep ocean blues.
“I, I—” I stutter, not being able to choke out the three words I want to say. The last time I said those words, I gave them to a man who didn’t deserve it. Donovan places a finger on my lips and shakes his head.
“Shh, it’s okay, Mouse. You don’t have to say it back. Only when you’re ready,” he whispers sweetly, melting me into his touch.
He gives me one last peck and I slide back into the passenger seat, floating in bliss.
Donovan King loves me.
He flashes a playful wink before taking my hand in his.
“So, I have a winery tour at 2:00 p.m. and a private wine tasting party at 3:00. I also have a surprise for you in Noah’s garage when you get there.” There’s a glint in his eye because he knows I loathe surprises.
“Donovan! No surprises. You know I can’t handle them!” I laugh, covering my face with my hands.
“Baby, you’ll love this. I promise. When you’re done in town, come back to Noah’s house. I’m taking you out tonight.”
He waggles his brows, and I playfully hit his arm.
“Why do you do this to me?” I sigh out, and he kisses my hand.
“Because I love you,” he retorts.
Well, I can’t argue with that. He loves me and the teenage girl inside me is doing backflips.
I turn to face the passenger window and smile as I watch the lush green hills pass by in the background, thankful it’s not sky scrapers and thick city air.
I roll the window down and stick my body halfway out, leaning back as my top flies up, exposing my stomach and white lace bra.
“You’re beautiful, baby!” Donovan yells out to me, and I laugh without a care in the world.
The breeze blows my hair wild, and I close my eyes to appreciate this moment.
I’m free. Donovan loves me. And I’m alive.
He laughs and holds my hand as I yell out unabashedly at the top of my lungs in the wind. I extend my free arm over my head, letting the California sun kiss my freckles.