Chapter 29
Mouse,
Do you know how beautiful you look when you sleep? How am I so damn lucky?
I love you,
D
I clutch the note from Donovan to my heart, smiling at the ceiling as I lay in bed. He promised me a love note every day for the rest of our lives, and so far, he’s not breaking that promise.
I place the note on the bedside table and flop on my back, stretching my arms high over my head to release the morning stiffness that lingers in my muscles. I close my eyes and grip the edge of the cotton sheets, pulling it up to my chin.
My memory takes me back to the night before, when Donovan and I made love too many times to count. His hands know exactly what to do and where to touch. His mouth memorizes my entire body, licking and sucking every curve and line. Our bodies fit so perfectly together as we move in sync, coaxing out every bit of pleasure we each have to offer. Our orgasms are mind-blowing, exploding like TNT—nothing but fire and hot sparks.
A door shutting shoves me out of my memory as I shoot up from the bed. My heart flutters hearing the familiar gait of footsteps come closer to the bedroom. My mouth goes dry as Donovan opens the door, his sexy grin instantly aching my core. He looks handsome in a plain black hoodie and sweatpants. So casual, so fucking hot anyway.
“Morning, Mouse,” he rasps, diving into the bed and crashing his lips onto mine. I wrap my arms around his neck, giggling when his stubble tickles my neck as he nips and bites under my ear.
“Hey, baby. Thank you for the note,” I whisper in his ear. He pulls his head back and looks at me, kissing my lips tenderly. He rests his head on my chest and wraps his arms around my lower back as I hold him close to me, breathing in his signature musk and teak scent.
“What time do you work today?” I ask, my nails scratching along his back through his sweatshirt.
“Not for a couple of hours,” he replies. His cheek stays resting against my heartbeat. I bring one hand to the back of his head, lightly scratching his nape and through his thick chocolate locks.
“I thought we could take the quad out and go for a ride? Maybe head down to the river for a bit. Weather is supposed to be nice today,” I murmur, placing a kiss onto his head. He turns his head and presses a gentle kiss at the dip of my throat, deliciously working his way up my neck. I mewl at the contact, instinctually wrapping my legs tight around his torso.
“I have to tell you something,” he mumbles, removing his lips from my neck to meet my gaze. His eyes look sad, immediately filling me with concern. I sit up taller, pulling him up with me.
“What is it? Are you okay?” I ask, trying to stay calm. He tears his gaze away for a moment and swallows hard before giving me his full attention again.
“Um. Well. I just came back from the police station,” he mutters. His expression is stoic, unmoving. My breath slightly hitches, and the tips of my ears get hot. “I talked to Chief Harper,” he blurts out.
“You what?” I reply tersely. I adjust myself to sit up completely, pulling my legs under me to move Donovan out of the way. He sits across from me, his shoulders slump when we’re no longer touching.
“I’m sorry, Mouse. I know th?—”
“Donovan. I specifically asked you not to. You promised me,” I interrupt, pulling the sheet up higher over my body to cover my breasts. I feel too exposed, wanting to hide myself from him. My chest flames with heat. The unwanted feelings of betrayal creep in.
He scrubs his hand along his stubble and sighs, knowing he fucked up. Before he can say anything, I interject once more.
“I trusted you. I told you I didn’t want the chief to know. Logan is home, for Christ’s sake!” My voice escalates, clutching the sheet tighter to myself, as if I could meld it into my skin.
“Audrey, I’m so sorry. Logan won’t find out. And even if he did, he’d never say anything. I wanted to ensure your safety. I needed to know that we were gonna be okay,” he stammers. His tone is desperate, like he’s trying to justify that what he did was okay. I wrestle with myself and the emotions that surface. He’s betrayed me before, and all was forgiven. I thought we were past this. I thought we promised each other that we would never go back there.
“Donovan, it’s not about you! It’s my fear and my shit that I have to deal with! You had no right to go behind my back and do this,” I cry out. He pinches the bridge of his nose and keeps his gaze on the sheets.
“So what did you end up finding out, huh? Did you get the information you wanted?” I spit out the words with poison behind them. My skin is hot and itchy and the frustration that is bubbling inside me is trying to find a way out.
He pauses before answering, my breaths ragged and short. “The chief ruled everything out. No one is following you, and Kellan is not in the picture anymore,” he states curtly. When he looks at me, his eyes break my heart. The navy hue is dull, full of regret and sorrow.
I want to shout “I told you so,” but I bite my tongue. The familiar ache of betrayal and mistrust flood my brain. I want to cry, but no tears form. No sting brimming the edges of my eyes. I forgave Donovan for everything in the past. I fell madly in love with him. And now, it hurts so much more.
“Donovan, you betrayed my trust,” I whisper, clenching my jaw while staring into those ocean blue eyes I can’t resist. “I love you, but I need space,” I say, swiftly moving out of bed to find clothes to put on.
He doesn’t get up, just watches me as I dart around the room, gathering my things to put them in a duffle bag from the closet. Once I’m fully dressed, he stands to meet me at the foot of the bed.
“Mouse, I’m sorry. You were right. I betrayed your trust. I fucked up. But I will never be sorry for wanting to protect you.” He pauses, cupping my face in his hands. “I know that this is something that only you have to overcome, but don’t you think this hurts me too? Seeing you hurt? Seeing you fall apart because of him?” he murmurs, holding my face so gently, afraid I might crumble to dust beneath his hold.
“You’re right,” I admit with a sigh. “But you could’ve talked to me first. You should’ve talked to me. I went ten years without knowing what happened between us. You shut me out once—” I choke, tears forming quickly now. “You shut me out and now, after everything, after I asked you not to go to the police…you did it anyway,” I whisper with a crack in my voice. I shift my cheek out of his hold and use my shoulder to wipe the tears from the corners of my eyes.
I pick up the duffle bag and sling it over my shoulder. “I’m gonna go stay at my gran’s cottage tonight. I need some space and time to think. Okay?”
He slowly nods, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me close. My stomach flutters at the gesture, loving how I feel when we are close like this. He presses his forehead to mine, his breaths are deep. In through the nose, out through the nose.
“Take all the time you need. I’m sorry, Mouse. I love you so much, you know that, right?” he murmurs. His breath skates along my skin, flooding me with love and warmth. God, I love him so much it hurts. But I need to step away for a second. I need to process alone.
“I know,” I whisper, placing a tender kiss on the corner of his mouth. I leave Donovan standing in the bedroom, his head hung low in defeat. In sadness. Probably in regret.
I swipe my keys and hastily make my way to Jules, tossing my bag into the backseat. As soon as I start the engine, I look in the rearview mirror and see Donovan leaning against the door frame.
My eyes well up and his image blurs as I blink away the tears and drive off, his image getting smaller and smaller in my mirror. I choke back sobs as the morning air stings my skin, checking my rearview until Donovan is no longer there.