37. Storm
Auden packed her things right after saying her goodbyes to Frank. They were bittersweet and I know it won’t be the last time he sees her. Auden was kind enough to give her parents her room at the BnB for the night so that she can spend it with me at my apartment. I’m not one to cry, but I have a feeling I will once morning comes.
She’s biting down on my shoulder to silence the moans leaving her and muffling every sound that comes after. I hate that she silences herself sometimes, I love the sounds of her screams. I need to remember them. I have to.
I shove against her a couple more times, my ripping body tremors as it comes to a climax. Finishing with her is unlike anything. Every other girl was simply a release, no feelings attached or cuddling involved. But with Auden, Christ, climaxing is beyond euphoric. It’s like reaching that high for the first time and staying there in that angelic form with nothing but warmth filling me. Floating in bliss.
I grunt loudly, still laying on top of her and we don’t move for a while. Our erratic breathing calms itself by the time I finally look at her. Gorgeous beyond belief. “What am I gonna do without you?” I whisper.
“Shh.” She places her fingers on my lips. “Can we pretend it’s not our last night together?”
“Then kiss me,” I reply, desperately needing those lips.
“I need to shower before we go again.” She giggles. “I’m all sweaty.”
“I like you all sweaty.” I kiss her temples, her neck, each nipple, and I rest my head on her stomach. Her breathing is shaky as if she’s nervous to have my head resting here. If I press my ear down hard enough, I can hear the sound of her heart beating.
Her fingers move through my hair and I close my eyes to memorize this moment. The feeling of her, the movement of her fingers, how she can smell so heavenly even after we screwed three times today.
“We taking that shower?”
“In a minute,” I say, letting out a breath. “What time do you have to leave tomorrow?”
“I thought we weren’t talking about this,” she says softly.
“I wanna know.”
Her fingers have stopped massaging my head. “Five.”
“What time’s the wedding on Saturday?”
She cracks the knuckle on her thumb. “One.”
“In New Jersey?”
“Yep. At a church downtown,” she answers. “I’ll be wearing a silk dress with pink and peach flowers.”
I take a breath, tracing her hip bone. Goosebumps pebble her flesh. Why the fuck does this have to end?
“Can we talk in the—how can I say this? Make-believe? Y’know, since our plans to live happily ever after were destroyed,” I say, feeling her stomach clench.
“You can’t hurt his feelings. If you mean that much to him, he’ll go through a sense of abandonment.”
“I know.” I sigh, kissing her naval and adjusting my head on her rib cage. “In our make-believe land, we get married. Live in that little place near Central Park because I hear it’s beautiful, and whatever I’ve seen in movies probably doesn’t do it justice.” I kiss her stomach again. “We’d have a family in my little dreamland. A girl and a boy. Not in any specific order, either. Even though you said no kiddos.” I chuckle. “You’d be the best therapist New York City’s ever had. And I’d have my own little bar, name it after you, of course.” I sniff with a grin, tracing her hip again. “Auden’s Corner. Has a ring to it, no?” I inhale deeply, listening to the pounding of her heart. “Yeah, I like the thought that this could’ve happened. But we’ll never know.”
“Yeah.” She sniffs. “I like the thought of that, too.”
“You think we’d ever work in the real world?” I ask, looking up at her. She’s blinking rapidly, holding back a few tears. She’s sensitive, it shows me she cares.
“We’d argue for a bit, but what couple doesn’t when they first move in together?” She giggles lazily. “And our makeup sex would make the neighbors complain, a lot.” She nods, rolling her throat. “I think we’d work out just fine…we’d have lots of fun, too. I know we would.”
“Sorry,” I whisper.
“Nothing to say sorry to. We didn’t think it over when we planned it. We just—we were all talk. But that’s okay, it’s fun to live in a fantasy land every now and then,” she says, wiping her eyes and sitting up.
I adjust myself so that I’m sitting up as well and kiss her knees. I keep my lips pressed on one; I can’t look at her while she’s tearing up because I’ll tear up, too. Her eyes go a shade bluer when she tears up.
“I wanna move in with you,” I tell her. There’s no lie to that.
“Me, too.” She sighs, then chuckles. “Maybe in another life.”
I don’t respond to her chuckle because I don’t want to forget her. I don’t want to leave her. And I definitely don’t want to wait to find her again in another life. I want this life. Right now.
“Let’s go take that shower before I take you again.” I kiss her knee in between every beat. “And again. And again. Until you can’t take it anymore.”
She smiles. No, don’t smile at me like that. You’re only making this harder, Auden. “I don’t think I’ll ever come to that point.”
I kiss her lips and get off the bed, pulling her by the ankle. She laughs, trying to get loose from my grip, but I’ve pulled her into me and French her with her legs wrapped around my waist as I walk to the washroom.
Sitting her on the vanity feels like the first night I had her here. I didn’t know anything about her, yet I knew I wanted her. The taste of her lips are just as sweet, her moans are just as sensual. I’ll miss this.
The water rushes down her body, her curves are so perfect, sculpted by God Himself. I watch as she lathers my shampoo in her hair, the soap suds kissing her back, her hips, that fucking ass. Mmph, she’s absolute perfection.
I don’t even think it over. I know I don’t need it anymore. It’s hers. I’ll give her everything I have just to remember me. Who knows, maybe down the road we’ll meet again. Maybe our love story isn’t over yet. We’ll never have time to work out a long-distance relationship and I’ll never expect her to make the time for me. Her career is what she should focus on. It’s the whole reason she’s moving to New York.
I take my necklace off and put it around her before she has the chance to turn around. “I want you to have this.”
“But this is your necklace,” she says, touching it. “You started wearing this when you lost your babies, didn’t you?”
“Yep, and now my baby is leaving for New York.” I nod, bopping her nose. “You’ll need this more than I will.”
“Storm.” She sighs. “I can’t accept this.”
I thread our hands and kiss her delicately. “I won’t take it back.”
“Storm,” she whispers.
I lift her against the tiled wall. “You’ll take it because you are my guiding light, my savior, my protector. You, baby, are my one.”
She slams her lips on mine, taking me and accepting me as I am. The man who doesn’t deserve her but would do anything to make her happy.
We kiss and make love all night on everything that’ll hold our bodies. We laugh so much it hurts. Time stands still when we’re together. I’m not hurt anymore or sad. She’s made me happy again. As I said, she brought me back to life.
Her leaving in a few hours is only going to make my life worthless once again. I need her. How am I going to go on without my angel?