58. Storm
About a couple of weeks go by and no news from Denny. I haven’t opened my emails since that day, too, I’m afraid to see if he wrote something else. His words have circled my mind all week, and I’ve tried my hardest not to show Auden how much it’s affecting me. But I can feel it, my depression is resurfacing fast, and with her long hours, it’s hard for us to connect other than through smiles and sex. We don’t have our pillow talks like we used to.
I love her, and I’ll never stop, I just need her more than ever right now.
New York City, huh? Might be a big city, but you can’t be that hard to find.
Remember, Storm, what goes around comes around. And I’m coming.
Just you wait.
Denny’s words are weighing on me, making it hard to sleep at night. I find myself sitting in the living room a lot so I don’t toss and turn, disturbing her. I drink my scotch until I pass out on the couch and she wakes me in the morning when she leaves for work.
The couch, again?She’ll say.
I don’t wanna wake you because of the late hours, babe. It’s nothing. I remind her.
It’s not nothing, though. But I don’t want to worry her.
I’ve been working a lot, getting to know the bartenders, and whipping drinks out left and right. As excited as I was to start a new job, something that I earned and wasn’t handed to me, there’s no growth or change. I still get hit on, I still work for tips, and I’m still making the same damn drinks day in and day out until I clock out at one in the morning to make the thirty-minute subway ride home to find my woman asleep in our bed, dinner wrapped in the fridge.
I’m not used to the hustle and bustle of the city, it’s extremely overwhelming. I stick it out for her. I’d do anything for her. The crazy amount of people, the crowds, the honking, and rudeness. Central Park is the only saving grace this place has brought me.
This is the path I wanted to pursue. I thought things would be different, I thought the job title was exactly what he described: a manager position. It’s not. I’m a normal fucking bartender because I’m the only fuck who knows how to make drinks.
And now I’m late. I’m so fucking late for our housewarming. She’s going to be so mad at me. I just can’t deal with this today.
I barge into our apartment to find that the housewarming party already started. Nope, I knew it already started TWO HOURS AGO. I want to get in and find Auden before I stop and see anyone. But that doesn’t work out. Rick embraces me, Maddison, too. Sean claps hands with me. Millie practically jumps on me. And Heath squeezes me so tightly that I take a breath to relax a little. He’s just what I needed right now.
I leave a kiss on Heath’s cheek. “Hey, big guy.”
“I made you a painting,” Heath says, taking my hand and pulling me into the living room. “Auden put it up on the wall, look.”
It makes my heart burst with joy knowing that Auden hung it up without asking if I liked it. As if she knew hanging this would make Heath happy. Knowing it would make me happier. Especially where she placed it. She took down her Princeton diploma for my nephew. This woman is selfless and so damn admirable. I don’t deserve her.
I tousle his hair and smile at the simple watercolor painting of the willow tree in Frank’s yard. “It’s perfect.”
I move through the crowd of people and I spot my angel with her mother. She’s laughing at something, wrinkling her nose. I release a rush of air and continue through the crowd of people toward her, groaning softly as I bump into a couple of people I don’t know.
It was easy explaining to my parents that they have to keep this housewarming under wraps because of Denny. I don’t know how they did it, but they managed to. It bothers me that Denny isn’t celebrating with us. I’ve tried to reach out a couple of times to make peace. This unsettling feeling in my stomach constantly tells me not to bother. I’m scared for my woman’s life. I have no idea what Denny is capable of anymore.
“Babe.” I sigh, taking Auden’s hand and pulling her in for a hug. “I’m so sorry. One of the guys never showed up for his shift and I didn’t want the pregnant chick to take his shift and—”
“Hey, it’s okay,” Auden says, holding my face and kissing me lightly. “You’re here now.”
I lean my forehead on hers. “I feel so bad.”
“Don’t.” She smiles, rubbing her hand on my chest. “Go get changed so you can formally introduce me to your parents.”
“Come with me?” I whisper.
She laughs. “To watch you get changed?”
“Please?”
She frowns, her hand still cupping my face. “Everything okay?”
I got yelled at by my boss because I wanted to leave when my shift ended. I couldn’t since the fucking bartender didn’t show up. I’m not a fucking child; I don’t need to be yelled at like one when I know how to bartend better than all the bozos at the bar. I hate my job. But I keep it for her. I keep it to help support us. But by God, I fucking hate it.
“It’s been a long day and I feel like shit for being late and I hate that you had to set all this up by yourself—set up the bar by yourself, too. I’m so sorry, babe. I’m sorry—”
“Stop,” she interrupts and kisses me.
We escape the hoard of people to our bedroom and she closes our bedroom door behind her, leaning on it. I fall back on the bed and take a breath, letting the stress of the afternoon release. I’m not used to this type of stress. I’m struggling, badly, and it’s all coming out in one giant panic attack.
“I just needed a minute and I needed that minute with you,” I say, running my hands down my face. “I should’ve taken today off.”
“Storm, it’s okay, really.”
“It’s not, though. I should’ve been here with you and helped you.” My voice cracks, and my palms meet my eyes, pushing down to stop the tears from rising.
She comes closer to me, nudging my knee with hers. I drop my hands behind my head and stare at this angel smiling at me. She’s so forgiving. Always so understanding. “We’re still getting used to the swing of things around here. It’s not like we’re married with kids. You don’t have to come home for me. As long as you come home and be faithful to me—”
“Then marry me.”
Her face reddens, biting her lip to hide her smile. “What?”
“Marry. Me.”
She folds her arms and pops her hip out. Fuck, she’s sexy when she does that. I sit up, heat radiating off my cheeks. If she says no, I might actually lose it. “I’ll have you know, I expected more of a proposal from you.”
I slide off the bed and get on one knee. “Well, I wasn’t expecting to ask you now.”
Her face is redder than I’ve seen it in a while. I hope it’s not because she doesn’t want me to do this. If I’m being completely transparent, I’ve been wanting to do this for a while—and we’ve only been together for four and a half weeks. I just didn’t know how to. I had a whole plan in my head: we’d go for a picnic in Central Park and she’d find the ring in the bag when she reaches for food. Then I got scared that I’d misplace the ring or it would fall out of the bag. And every time we went to Central Park, I became too nervous to do it.
I clear my throat, too anxious to grab the ring. I’m just going to spit it out, tell her how I feel, and absorb whatever her reaction is. “If this were a real proposal, I would have taken your hand and told you how much you mean to me. How you have saved me so many times since the night we met. That you’re the only person I want to wake up to every morning and fall asleep beside every night…the sounds of your moans are like a symphony to my ears…you, Auden, are my everything. Marry me and complete me.”
I grin, scanning her and stopping on her feet in those black stilettos. As soon as my eyes scroll up her body, I’m instantly stuck on those blue eyes getting teary-eyed. “I would have said something like that, in a more romantic setting. Maybe in the park with non-alcoholic pink champagne and strawberries. Of course, with a ring.”
She smiles at me but doesn’t say anything and keeps her arms folded. I’m still on my knee, desperately hoping she’ll say yes soon because this isn’t the most comfortable position. Instead, she laughs, covering her face. I don’t like that she laughs. It’s like someone gut-punched me and everyone around is pointing and laughing. Humiliated.
She drops her hands and reaches out to me. I don’t know if she can feel my hands shaking as I get to my feet and look down at her like a lost puppy dog hoping she’ll make me smile.
She slides her arms around my neck, tears shimmering in her eyes. “Yes, I’ll marry your foolish self.”
This angel wants to marry a shithead like me. What did I do to deserve this? I don’t even care that there are people in our condo. I’m going to fuck her silly right now.
The second our lips meet, I lift her and kick off my shoes, making her laugh. She kisses me softly. “We have people outside our bedroom.”
“I really need you, baby,” I say softly. “Two minutes, in and out. I promise.”
She laughs again, shaking her head. I already had a shit day; all I want to do is screw my fiancée. Is that too much to ask for?
Auden winks. “To be continued.”
She blows me a kiss and points at the clothes on the bed. “Get dressed and come get fat with me. My mom brought mozzarella sticks.” With that sexy ass in her leopard print skirt, she opens the door to our room, looking over her shoulder at me with a smile before she closes the door between us.
I’m alone in our room. I could lie here for a little while and let my racing mind relax. But I can’t very well hide out all day. I don’t take stress very well, that’s one thing I loved about working for Ross. I could leave when I wanted, take a breather in my apartment, and take as many smoke breaks as needed. At this job, I work on a specific schedule. I punch in and punch out and am given two fifteen-minute breaks and a thirty-minute lunch break. That’s it. I can’t walk out after a dumbass customer gets rude to me, I can’t very well go for a smoke since I promised I’d quit for Auden and it’s been two fucking weeks of not smoking and I fucking hate every second of it. I love this woman, but I resent the new life I’ve chosen. I don’t regret it. I’ll never regret her. I have yet to find my footing.
I splash water on my face in our en suite bathroom and take a breath. I breathe, thinking of her as I do so I can save face and go out there. My angel makes everything better.
Before joining the people we call our family, I take the ring I hid at the back of my underwear drawer. I don’t care if I have to do the proposal again in front of people, she’s wearing this ring. It’s going to be the only positive thing to come out of today.
I step out of our room and see Ross, Dee, and Matt, which puts me at ease. Familiar faces I can be myself with. I make for them, hoping some positivity will bloom from someone who isn’t my angel. She’s talking with her girlfriends in the kitchen. Even in a crowd of women, she’s a goddess. As badly as I want to hold her right now, she’s busy mingling. I won’t hog her from that.
Matt claps me on the back. “Nice fucking place.”
“Thanks,” I say, lifting my jeans. “The elevators are a little finicky, but I don’t mind taking the stairs.”
“Where the fuck were you? Late for your own dang party,” Matt comments, making Dee chuckle.
“Someone didn’t show up for their shift.” I find her in the crowd staring right at me, smiling as Sean says something in her ear. She nods, blowing me a kiss. I take this as my cue to give her the ring. “I’ll be right back.”
I really botched this proposal. But it’s the only thing keeping me from screaming.
“Hey,” she says pouring herself a soda. “You want something to eat?”
I smirk, tapping her ass. “What I want to eat will get me in a lot of trouble in front of our families.” This makes her smirk, which is perfect timing. I take her hands and kiss her knuckles softly. “I mean it, y’know. I love you. Have from the moment you walked into the bar.”
“And I mean it, too,” she says, kissing my cheek. “I love you and I will marry you.”
“Good.” I nod, fishing the ring from my pocket. “It’s not how I wanted to do it, but I have wanted you to be mine for a long time.”
“I’ve been yours since that stormy night,” she says, giggling as I slide the ring on her finger.
“You like it?”
She looks down at it. “It’s perfect.”
I kiss her, much deeper than I planned but I want her to know she means the world to me. And I will be sure to give her the world with everything that I have to give. She will be the happiest woman in Central Park.
“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” my father’s voice chimes.
I whip my head around and chuckle awkwardly. “Hey, Dad, uh—” I start, looking at Auden.
“We’ve met,” my mother interrupts. “But a formal introduction to the woman who whisked my son away is a must.”
I grip Auden’s hand. “Dad, this is my fiancée Auden. Babe, these are my parents, Sturges and Amelia. But since you already met, you already knew that.”
“Fiancée?” my mother gasps, tapping my dad’s shoulder. “I told you he’d propose after a month.”
My dad laughs, shaking my hand. “Make an honest woman out of this diamond, Luke.”
She is a diamond, my diamond. “I will.”
“They were the first to arrive,” Auden says. “Your mom helped me set up for the party. Oh, and they bought us the succulent by the window.”
I grin and spot the tiny little succulent in our large bay window. “Thanks.”
“We’re staying for a few days. Heath wants to see the zoo ‘the pretty lady’ kept telling him about,” my mom says, brushing hair off Auden’s shoulder. I guess they connected before I got here. Leah never got along with my mother. They fought and disagreed on everything, so seeing my mom and my woman smiling and planning out their week, well, it’s heartwarming.
“Storm?” Sean calls, clapping me on the back. “Get your sexy butt over here and do shots with me.”
I waggle my eyebrows. “Duty calls.”
“Go, go, go,” my mom says, pushing us along. “We’ll catch up later. Frank has been excited to congratulate you.”
Auden pulls me to her friends, looking down at her hand a couple of times. The ring isn’t spectacular; it’s a teardrop diamond on a plain gold band. It’s what they had that I deemed affordable. I didn’t want to spend all my money on an engagement ring if I’m being honest. She deserves everything, but a six-thousand-dollar ring sounds ridiculous.
I slide my arm around her shoulders. “Do you like it?”
“It’s perfect,” she repeats, smiling up at me. “You introduced me as your fiancée.”
“That’s because you are.”
She wrinkles her nose. “It’s weird.”
I chortle. “We’re weird.”
“I really like your mom; they got here at one and we planned out the whole week together. Even on the days you work, we planned activities around your schedule. Heath’s super excited to climb the Empire State Building,” she explains. “You’re not missing that.”
I smile. “Yeah? That’s good.”
I’m at a loss for words because she doesn’t have to take time out of her busy schedule to entertain my family. But she will. She will because that’s who she is. My gorgeous, thoughtful, soon-to-be wife.
Sean holds out a shot of tequila to me and hands Auden a shot of soda. Millie’s eyes widen when she looks at Auden’s raised shot glass, but she doesn’t say anything until we lock eyes. I chuckle and nod, making that tiny little woman squeal and jump across the coffee table onto Auden.
Auden gasps, spilling some of her soda. “What the fuck?”
Millie squeals again and jumps in excitement, taking her hand. “You’re engaged!”
“How?” Auden asks, glancing at me. “He proposed not even twenty minutes ago.”
“I notice everything.” Millie claps excitedly.
“Hey, hey! Congrats,” Dee says, pulling me into a hug.
Ryan widens his eyes. “Jeez, you guys are moving fast.”
I stick my tongue out. “Soon enough, I’ll have her popping out babies for me.”
Sean hugs me and pulls Auden in, too. As much as it bothers me that this is the guy who took away her innocence, I hate how much I like him. “You kids are crazy.”
“When you know, you know,” Auden says, letting go of Sean’s embrace.
Ryan holds up his shot glass. “To new beginnings.”
Ross still has me in an embrace, whispering as quietly as he can. “I’m proud of you, man. This is good for you. Very fucking good.” He lets go of me and squeezes my face.
Sean kisses my cheek, sliding his arm around my shoulders. “Got any hot sisters I can meet since you took my girl off the market.” He winks at Auden, sending this jolt of anger through me.
We’re always joking around as if we’ve known each other for years. But when he makes comments like that about my girl, it drives me nuts. She reassures me a million times that nothing is going on. They’re best friends, nothing more. I just can’t wipe the disturbance from my gut. They work closely together, late hours, too. If he wants to make a move he can. I don’t get home until after she falls asleep, after she showers. Sean could be holding her in secret and I’d be too stupid to notice.
“I don’t.” I chuckle awkwardly, smiling at Auden as she shows off the ring to her friends. “Think she’s happy?”
Sean leans his head on mine, puffing out his bottom lip as he studies her. “The happiest she’s ever been.” And it’s comments like this one that allow me to keep him around. Even though my untrustworthy mind is drunk with jealousy.
Lorie hits the side of her glass with a spoon a couple of times trying to get everyone’s attention. I feel Auden tense up, she doesn’t like this. I wonder if this is a normal thing at her house. I’m guessing it is because half of Auden’s family has moved out of the way and are standing there intently, waiting for Lorie to speak. We don’t do speeches in our house. When something important happens, we praise the person, not the community.
“I want to formally thank all of you for coming this afternoon to my daughter and her lovely partner’s housewarming. We couldn’t be prouder of Charlotte. She’s overcome so much in so little, and she still keeps her head high. Your father and I just wanted to say how honored we are and how happy we are that you’ve found someone to share this new chapter of your life with. You’re blossoming into such a lovely woman, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds,” Lorie says, tilting her wine glass at Frank. “Frank, thank you for making this beauty.” She puts her hand out and he takes it, nodding as he glances over at Auden.
Lorie lifts her wine glass at us, smiling. “Welcome to the family, Storm, and thank you for making my little lady the happiest I’ve ever seen her.”
Our guests clap and cheer, turning to us for approval. Auden kisses me and I smile against those succulent lips. I’m not good at speeches. I hope we don’t have to say anything. Please don’t make us say anything.
She pulls away and smiles, looking at her mother. A giggle leaves her as she raises her left hand and wiggles her fingers with the ring in full view. Gasps and more cheers fill the condo. This isn’t what I imagine proposing to her to be like, but I’ll take what I can get. As long as I’m engaged to her, I couldn’t care less about how it’s revealed.
“Bring out the champagne!” Millie calls over the ruckus.
I’m not focusing on anything around me. I’m staring at Auden, those eyes smiling as much as her mouth. This is what pure happiness looks like. She is my happiness. She is my life. She is the reason I’ll put up with this shitty job. She is my everything.
I tilt her chin up. “I love you.”
“With everything that I am,” she says, closing the gap between us.
No number of sleepless nights, drunken days, or open legs can replace this. Nothing can replace the bliss my angel has brought me. Nothing at all.