59. Auden
Iface plant on the couch, exhausted from an entire day of entertaining. The housewarming started at one in the afternoon and didn’t finish until eleven when our friends decided it was time to leave. It’s been an interesting day, although I can tell there’s something on Storm’s mind that’s bothering him. I just can’t figure out what it is.
I kick my heels off, letting them fall wherever, and fix a throw pillow under my head. I’m so damn exhausted, but I know that look on Storm’s face. We still haven’t consummated our new title, and it’s apparent that he desperately needs a release.
“Good turnout, huh?” he says, dropping on top of me. I let out a grunt and giggle. But he doesn’t move.
“Mmm, yeah. Very good day if you ask me,” I reply. “Although, if you don’t get off me now, I’ll crack a rib and it won’t be a good day anymore.”
He chuckles but doesn’t move. He needs to be close to me right now. At least until he lets all the thoughts in his head out before he explodes. “I think Sean still has feelings for you,” he spits out.
I roll my eyes. “We’ve known each other since we were kids, it’s a different kind of love. Friendship love, like I have with Millie.”
“I don’t think so,” he whispers.
“Storm?”
“Hmm?”
“You trust me?” I ask, thumbing my ring.
“I do.”
I inhale slowly, then adjust my head on the pillow. I keep my focus on the ring, it’s sparkling under the side lamp. “Sean was my first love. But I use that word loosely. We were best friends who took our experimenting a little too far…I don’t let go of Sean because he’s one of my closest friends. From time to time when one of us wasn’t in a relationship, we’d get back together. He’s familiar, someone I don’t have to impress.” I thumb the ring, feeling Storm’s body tense when I talk about this, but I want him to know everything. “The last time Sean and I were together was when Evan broke up with me. We fooled around for three weeks, then I left for Campbellton. Sean knows his role as my friend. Now that I’m off the market, he’ll remain as such forever.”
Storm places his hand on mine, stopping me from thumbing the ring and I go on. “Before I quit drinking, I lost all my friends. People didn’t want to be around me because I was incoherent half the time. But Sean was always there…I was drinking nonstop for like six months straight, and I somehow ended up at his dorm. I was beyond my limit, slurring and staggering. He shoved me into a cold shower and told me to snap the fuck out of it. I didn’t listen, of course. I thought he was joking because I disturbed him at three in the morning the day before a midterm—which I skipped because I was too out of it to remember. Two more months went by before Millie stepped in, and then Sean got angry. He lectured me and pointed out the fact that I was losing myself to the bottle. He was right, too. I drank for eight months straight and only remember bits and pieces of it. Do you know he came to every AA meeting with me at the beginning? He still does, too. We went on the day of Millie’s wedding before hair and makeup. He also quit smoking with me.”
I sniff, blinking back tears. I hate talking about my past, but I have to for my future. “He was there at the hospital when my dad was shot. He sat with me for hours when he didn’t have to. We slept in the hospital, drank shitty coffee. And when my mom was at her limit, he took her home and then came back to be with me. No matter how much sleep we lost, he was there by my side.” Storm adjusts his head, leaning his chin on my shoulder. “So the reason I don’t cut him from my life is that because he saved me from a dark time in my life.”
Storm buries his head in my hair. “Now I feel like a jealous asshole for no reason.”
“Don’t feel like that. You didn’t know.”
“I don’t blame you for hiding some of the hardest parts of your life from me.”
I wish we weren’t once broken. I wish we didn’t have a dark phase.
But we do and there’s nothing we can do to change it but move forward.
I giggle. “Baby steps.”
I fix the ring on my finger again. It’s so weird having an engagement ring. I never thought I’d get married because I was never with anyone worthy. Storm is worthy of everything.
He puts his hand on mine, stopping me from playing with it again. “Sorry that I didn’t make the proposal more romantic.”
“None of what we’ve done is traditional. I like not being traditional with you.”
“You deserve so much more,” he whispers.
“I don’t,” I say softly. “You have given me so much already.”
“Doesn’t seem like it’s enough.”
I take a shuddered breath and adjust under him. I wish I knew what he was thinking. Sometimes I can tell what he’s thinking by the look on his face, but right now, I can’t picture anything.
“…are you happy?” I ask hesitantly.
“The happiest.”
I take his hand and kiss it. “You seemed so upset when you got home.”
“Long day at the bar,” he admits. “I really hate this job.”
“Then quit.”
“I can’t quit. I don’t want to live off of my savings, and then live off of you when that runs out,” he says, pressing his lips on my exposed shoulder.
“You have more than enough to live off of for a little while, Storm. You don’t have to work a shitty job just for me.”
“I want to make you proud of me.”
“I am proud of you, fiancé.” I giggle softly, the release a slow breath. “I want you to be proud of yourself, too. So quit before I march into your work and quit for you.”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“Find something worth working for.”
“You’re worth working for and I’ll try my best to make you truly proud of me. You, babe, are worth fighting for,” he whispers seductively and slides his hand up my skirt.
Moments like these are what make me nervous. He has no drive and no goals for the future. But not everyone does. He’ll find his footing soon enough and that smile will permanently be on his face.
I lift my bum into his crotch and feel him grow against it gets me going more than having him touch me does. I love the teasing of his dick rubbing against me as if we’re grinding in a club. Forbidden. That’s what it feels like.
We get off the couch and go to our room, losing one article of clothing as we move. But we don’t kiss. We watch each other get naked and it’s more intimate than touching.
He grabs a wad of my hair and licks up my neck. We’re about to get loud in here very soon, and I’m so damn happy no one is sleeping over tonight.
I get on my knees without a moment to lose before he’s pounding me from behind, and I’m practically screaming under him. This is what he needed all day. Just to release. I let him release his stress and anger onto me. I let him fuck me savagely so he can smile again.
“Storm!” I cry out of pleasure.
He stills, releasing inside me. “I love you, baby.”
We collapse on the bed, laying my most vulnerable with my favorite person.
He takes a breath as well but doesn’t look at me. His focus is on the high ceilings. I touch his chest and lean my head on my hand, wanting to know what’s going on in that gorgeous head of his. It can be easy to bury his feelings with sex; he’s done it before, but I will not allow it.
“Talk to me,” I whisper.
“Life took me by the balls and nearly killed me, but it didn’t because you made life worth it. It’s crazy how just over a month ago I wanted to kill myself. I hated life. Hated what people said about me, hated what Leah did to me, and hated what I did to Leah. I thought I loved her, but I never knew love until I met you. You showed me what it’s like to be with someone and experience pure happiness with them, too. I was a fool before I met you. I didn’t know the pain I was going through until you smiled at me…healing. Forgiving. And living.” He finally looks at me and blinks back a few tears. “Fate brought us together and bound us righteously. We have until the end of time. And I can’t wait to start my life with you as my wife.”
“To the end,” I say. “Me and you.”
“To the end,” he repeats and smiles. “I’ll do anything for you, babe. Absolutely anything.”
I kiss him softly, letting my thumb brush his cheek. We certainly have come a long way from that rainy night at Creed’s. The future holds so many great things for us. All we have to do is smile because fate truly did bind us as that once in a lifetime.
I’d do anything for him, too.
Absolutely anything.