Chapter 28
Another week flies by. My wrist is nearly fully healed, so I was approved to hit the ice again.
I was buzzing with nerves, but super excited to skate again, and it showed in my routine.
Today, for the first time in a while, I aced both programs with no hiccups.
I still need a bit more cleaning on some of the new choreography, but otherwise, me and Coach Peters were very satisfied with my performance.
Though something else had been a bit off, and I tried not to think about it when I was on the ice.
Carson had asked me after the team’s practice if he could stop by my flat for a bit while I was training.
He said he left something the other day.
Only I don’t remember him leaving anything, but I gave him my keys anyway, so now I’m just waiting for him to come back and pick me up since we finished rather early today.
Coach doesn’t want me to overdo it on my return.
Carson finally texts me that he’s outside, so I grab my bag and head to the parking lot where he’s waiting.
When I get in the car, he kisses my cheek and buckles my seat belt for me.
He does that sometimes, and at first I found it so ridiculous because obviously I can do it myself, but then I would miss it if he didn’t do it.
I would miss the wave of warmth I didn’t even know I felt when he does things like this.
“Hey. So did you find it?” I ask.
“Find what?” He looks puzzled, now we’re both confused?
“Uh, you said you left something? At my flat?” I say slowly, my brows furrowing. Did he forget that fast? It was only a few hours ago.
“Oh yeah. I found it.” He chuckles, his leg bouncing. I sit back in the seat. He’s acting kind of weird, and I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s making me uneasy.
“Is something wrong?” I bite my lip.
“What? No. Everything’s fine.” He says, focusing on driving.
“Ok,” I say, looking down into my lap. Maybe I’m overthinking again. If Carson says everything is ok, then we’re ok.
We get back to my flat at our usual time, and we both head up. I figured he might come by today since he has tomorrow off, maybe he’ll even spend the night again though I try to limit that. I’m still a bit cautious about going all the way.
I know Carson would never make that kind of move until he was absolutely sure I was ready. So sometimes we just make out, and sometimes we just exist around each other, watch a drama, and laugh together until we fall asleep.
But there are times it’s just too much sleeping in the bed with him. I really feel like I need it soon. I know I want it. I just don’t know what I’m afraid of. And us not really defining what we are definitely doesn’t help. Sometimes I worry about changing the way we are.
Just another thing I’m not ready to navigate.
Carson still has my keys, so he unlocks the door for me, and when he steps inside, I gasp. All the lights are off in my flat, lit only by fake candles, petals scattered across the floor and surfaces.
“Uh, Carson?” I say warily, “What’s going on?”
He ignores my questioning and grabs my hand, leading me into my own kitchen. There’s a cake, and what looks like dinner? Did I miss a special day or something? I feel bad I didn’t get him anything. I don’t even remember what we’re celebrating?
Carson turns to me, pulls the seat out, and gestures for me to sit.
“Happy birthday, sweetheart.” He says, his voice soft. My heart constricts, my breath hitching. It’s my birthday. Back home.
“Carson…” Tears well up in my eyes. My birthday has never been celebrated by anyone but my parents.
No one has ever really acknowledged it, let alone done something so sweet for me.
I step closer to him and wrap my arms around his waist, hugging him tightly.
I bury my face in his chest as he encircles me, nuzzling into my hair.
“Don’t cry. I hope you like it.” He whispers.
“Of course I do. Thank you, this is so sweet.” It’s an ugly thought, but deep down I still feel like I don’t deserve it.
We separate and sit down to eat, it’s miyeokguk, a special soup we eat on our birthday. A wave of homesickness washes over me. I miss my parents. I know they’re going to call me first thing in the morning from home.
I look over to Carson, and he’s waiting for me to eat first. I take the first bite, and we eat together quietly for a bit before he slides a box over to me. My brows go up, and I hum around my spoon.
“What’s this?”
“A gift, silly! It’s your birthday.” He laughs.
“No, this is enough. I can’t.”
“Juyeon, take it.” He says, his voice stern.
He slides it over to me, and the gift sits between us, before I eventually pick it up. The pink velvet box, soft beneath my fingers. I open it, and there’s a necklace, a heart-shaped diamond dangling from its rose gold chain.
“Don’t say you can’t,” Carson says after hearing me gasp. He gets out of his seat and takes the necklace out of the box before laying it across my decolletage. It spills gracefully above my chest as he works the clasp into place.
“Thank you…” I breathe, my fingertips grazing over the radiant stone.
“Looks beautiful on you.” He says before kissing me on my temple, “You didn’t have to, Carson.”
“I wanted to. Now finish eating, we got candles to blow.” He grins.
We finish up our meal, and he really does make me blow out candles, but before that, he told me I wouldn’t be allowed to, unless I made a wish.
So I did.
I wished that I would meet him in every lifetime.