18. Healing Hearts
18
HEALING HEARTS
A s Brandon pulled into his parents' driveway, the late hour was a stark reminder of the weight he carried. The house, shrouded in darkness, echoed his mood. A solitary light in the kitchen window at the side of the house hinted at his mother’s wakefulness. He knew his dad was probably watching TV in their bedroom while he waited for her to join him.
He felt old as he climbed from the car. His body was heavy and slow as he moved to the side door by the kitchen. After knocking, he stepped into the mudroom and kicked off his shoes.
“Mom?” he called hesitantly.
Brandon?” Teenie answered before he entered the kitchen. She stood at the sink, towel in hand, as she dried dishes. She was still fully dressed and wearing an apron Carly had sewn for her in high school. “Is everything alright?”
Without a word, Brandon walked to his mom and let her hug him, her warmth and familiar scent offering solace. After several minutes, she pulled back and held his face in her hands, her eyes filled with concern.
She asked, “What happened?”
“Is Dad still up? ”
“Yes, let me get him.” She hurried away, fear evident in her eyes and movements.
Brandon sat at the table, propped his elbows on the surface, and rested his head in his hands. Maybe he shouldn’t have come. What if Summer didn’t want anyone else to know what happened? Even now, he wanted to protect her but knew he couldn’t deal with this alone. Would she forgive him for sharing with his parents? He knew they’d never gossip about such an ordeal. They loved Summer as much as he did and were good friends with her parents.
What if they already knew but hadn’t told him?
Brandon’s thoughts and emotions spiraled. What if everyone knew? What if he was the only one not trustworthy enough to be told?
“Son?” his dad spoke softly as he rested a hand on his shoulder. “You’re scaring your mom. Talk to us.”
Brandon raised his head. His dad wore red flannel pajama pants and a ratty old gray T-shirt. His salt-and-pepper hair was messy as if he had fallen asleep while watching ESPN.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you, but I need to talk to someone.” Brandon ran his hands through his hair and over his face.
His mom set a glass of milk before him and held out the cookie jar. “Based on your expression, I believe sugar is necessary.”
“Thanks, Mom. You and Dad should take one, too.”
“That bad, is it?” His dad sat beside him and reached for a cookie.
Brandon nodded and waited until his mom placed two more glasses of milk on the table and took the seat beside his dad. The cookies and milk remained untouched.
“Summer told me why she left after high school.” He stopped and met their gazes. “Do you know why she left?”
His dad shook his head, but his mom said, “No. I think April knows. She’s has this haunted look every time she talks about Summer.”
“Can you tell us, son?” his dad asked.
“I don’t know if I should, but I need your advice on what to do.” Brandon rubbed his hand over his chest near his heart. “It’s eating me alive, and I don’t want to hurt Summer by saying or doing the wrong thing.”
“We’re here for you,” his mom said, and his dad nodded.
“Someone hurt her on her trip to Costa Rica. Hurt her in the most personal way possible.”
“Oh, no!” his mom gasped and clasped her hand over her mouth. “Poor Summer.”
Brandon’s dad pulled his mom into his arms, but their attention stayed on their son.
“I’m so angry. I want to find the guy and bash his face until he can’t breathe, but I know that won’t help her.”
His dad grunted, “David and I would help you with that. It might make us feel better.”
The words almost brought a smile to Brandon’s lips, but the weight was still too heavy. “But under the anger is something else.”
“You’re hurt she didn’t tell you before,” his mom stated.
“Yeah. I would have been there for her, but she didn’t give me the chance.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” his mom soothed and moved to his other side to take his hand in hers. “You have to try and understand this from her perspective. She was young, what, seventeen? Eighteen? Up to that point, she’d lived a beautiful and sheltered life. Something like that would have shattered her. She must have felt so alone, so scared, and so—” his mom broke off with a sob. She swiped at a tear and steeled her shoulders. “Her joining the Army makes sense now. She wanted to become strong enough to fight if she was attacked again. I’m proud of her for seeking a way to feel safer instead of giving up on life.”
“But she didn’t trust me to be there for her,” Brandon hated that he sounded like a whiny teenager.
“You can’t think of it that way. At the time, she was hurting and scared. The important thing is she trusted you enough to tell you now,” his mom reiterated.
“Your mom is right, son. You can’t change the past.” His dad patted him on the back. “So, what will you do with the information now?”
“What do you mean? ”
His dad continued, “Are you going to let it fester and create a problem between you, or will you use it to show that girl how much you love her?”
“The second, of course. But how do I do that when all these emotions are ripping me up?” Brandon pled with them. “Tell me what to do.”
Both of his parents wrapped their arms around him. They sat in silence for a long time in their group hug. Finally, his dad let go and said, “Son, only you can figure this out. Every woman God put on this earth is unique and beautiful in her way. If you concentrate on your girl, you’ll know what she needs from you.”
“Your dad is a wise man. You know who Summer used to be. If you’ve been learning who she is now, you’ll know how to hold her, make her smile, and remind her that she is worth loving. You’ve grown into a good man. This is your chance to become a great man.”
Brandon nodded as if he knew the answer, but he didn’t—not yet. He decided he needed quiet time to think about what his parents had said and hit his knees in prayer. God would know what he should do.
“Thanks, both of you. I’ll head home, but I’ll see you tomorrow.” Brandon stood and hugged his parents again. “You guys are the best.”
“We love you,” his mom whispered.
“It will be okay. Somehow, have faith in that,” his dad said as he clapped a hand on his shoulder.
Brandon hoped so with all of his heart. Especially for Summer.
Summer didn’t sleep well. She tried to believe Griff, to have hope that her words, her experience, wouldn’t send Brandon running from what they could have, but it was easier said than done. Sleep didn’t claim her until almost four in the morning, but even it evaporated with the rising sun .
She was sitting outside, listening to the birds perform their morning concert, when her phone buzzed with a text from Brandon.
Brandon: Are you awake?
Summer: Yes.
Brandon: Will you come down so we can talk?
Summer: I’m in the backyard.
Brandon: On my way.
Summer thought she’d have fifteen or twenty minutes before Brandon arrived, but it was only two before she heard the side gate creek as it opened. Her heart reacted with a mixture of hope and fear. Why was he here so early?
“Brandon?” She stood and turned in his direction.
He wore the same clothes as he had the day before. They were wrinkled, and his beard was wild as if he’d run his hands over it a lot. What scared her the most was the tears in his eyes.
Before she could say anything, he rushed across the patio and pulled her into his arms. He buried his face in her hair and squeezed as if afraid she would disappear. She could feel his body shaking as he cried.
"Brandon, are you okay?" she asked softly, clinging to him as tightly as he held onto her.
He pulled back enough to look at her, his eyes desperately searching hers. “Summer, I… I shouldn’t have left last night,” he said, his voice trembling with the weight of his confession. “I was so overcome with emotion and afraid I’d say or do the wrong thing. I was angry at whoever hurt you. I hated that I wasn’t there to comfort or support you, and it hurt that you didn’t want me to be those things for you, but as I calmed down, I realized that didn’t matter. I wanted—no, I needed—to be here with you. Summer, you never have to hide from me. Let me be here for you now. ”
Summer had never seen so much emotion on display in a man, at least not since leaving Sugar Creek. The love, concern, and even the hurt in Brandon’s voice healed a few more cracks in her heart. He was here for her.
He hadn’t run away because she was broken but because her story had broken a part of him. As a teenager, she didn’t think he could stand beside her like this. Maybe he wouldn’t have been able to then, but she never gave him a chance. Now, he stood before her, practically begging her not to let him go.
“It wasn’t because I didn’t want you to be there. You know that, right?” she asked.
“No, not really. It feels like you didn’t want or need me. Help me understand what you were thinking back then.”
“I was scared. He threatened to do things to my family if I told anyone. There were times I wished he had killed me.” A shudder ran through her, and Brandon’s hands clenched the edges of her shirt harder. “I didn’t feel safe anywhere. Part of me thought if I stayed in Sugar Creek, he’d come here and destroy everything and everyone I loved. I couldn’t put my family, or you, through that.”
“So you left.”
She nodded. “I hoped the military would keep me safe and teach me how to protect myself. In a way, it did, but as I said, it was a bandaid over an untreated wound. My CO, Griff, understood that. He knew I had to come home to heal.”
Brandon shifted and said, “Why did you wait so long to tell anyone? As a teen, you might have believed he could do what he said, but eventually, you had to realize he had no way of finding your family.”
She sighed. “Most of the things I thought weren’t always rational, and then silence became a habit.”
“I’m sorry.”
They stood quietly, holding each other and watching the sun fill the sky with light. It was going to be another perfect summer day.
“How long have you been here?” she whispered, desperate to change the topic .
“I’ve been sitting in your drive since three o’clock.”
“Why?” Summer reached up and cupped his face with her hands. “Why didn’t you text me? I was awake.”
He leaned forward and rested his forehead on hers. “If I’d known you were awake, I would have. I hoped you were sleeping. I’ve already messed this up, haven’t I?”
“No. This is exactly what I needed.” She took a step back. “Be honest. Knowing what happened to me…Does it change how you see me?”
“Yes, but not how you mean. I’ve always thought you were the sweetest, strongest-willed woman I knew. Now, I know that you are so much more. You’re a fighter, and not because you joined the military. You fought the darkness that tried to claim you and kept moving forward. I’ve seen you smile and heard you laugh. We can never change what happened long ago, but he didn’t break you. And if you’ll give me a chance, I’ll show you that he didn’t break us.”
“He stole years from us.” Summer slid her hands down his arms and took his hands in hers. “I let him take that from us.”
“No. We can’t look at it that way. Maybe we needed the years to grow up to handle the storms in our lives.” Brandon met her gaze, and she saw the strength and love shining between them. “Last night, I wallowed in the wish to take it all away and make it so you never had to go through that. This morning, I know better. Your past made you into who you are. I wouldn’t change that for anything. Instead, I promise I’ll always stand by you, no matter what. Even in the midst of the things I can’t protect you from.”
Summer smiled as she looked up at him. "I know you will, Brandon. And that's all I want.”
The tears slid down her cheeks. How did this man know exactly what she needed to hear? She wouldn’t have believed it if he had promised that nothing would ever hurt her again. But this. This was a love she could accept. It was real and raw, but it was utterly theirs.
“Good job, Blakely,” Griff’s voice was a whisper almost hidden by the sound of the breeze in the leaves of the tree at the edge of the patio. “Don’t forget to name a kid after me. ”
Summer knew it was goodbye, and her tears turned into sobs. She had finally opened her heart entirely to the man she’d always loved. But in return, she was losing the man that had held her together for many years. It was a bittersweet moment, and she allowed herself to feel all of it.