Chapter 22
MEMPHIS
“It’s going to be okay, Cassia.”
“How do you know that?” Cassia snapped. “That’s right! You don’t!”
“You’ve gotta let her spread her wings, babe,” I said for at least the tenth time this week.
The week before had been Ivy’s first visits with her new pediatrician and neurologist. After their assessments, they both suggested that Ivy might start speaking more if she started socializing with other children her age.
Terran was the first to mention that Ivy didn’t need to talk because, from what he’d witnessed firsthand, Cassia did her bidding without Ivy ever having to speak a word.
Once he mentioned it, I realized I’d been guilty of the same thing.
I’d tried to get her to say things, but when she wouldn’t cooperate I’d give her what she wanted without pushing the issue.
Apparently, Ivy was a grifter. She knew exactly how to get what she wanted from everyone around her. Terran insisted that based on the scans sent from her specialists in Dallas–along with the ones he’d ordered himself–Ivy didn’t have a neurological impairment that would hinder her speech.
I would have thought Terran’s opinion influenced Amethyst, but the first thing she said when she walked into the exam room was that she’d been running behind all morning.
She hadn’t had a chance to talk to Terran about his findings, so she needed a few minutes to scan his notes before examining Ivy herself.
She didn’t mention Ivy’s lack of speech until the end of the appointment.
She offered Ivy a sucker but held onto it until Ivy voiced the words please and sucker.
Amethyst didn’t even ask for a full sentence–just one word after the other–but Ivy refused.
Instead she used her go-to word, repeating “Yum!” over and over.
Amethyst warned her that if she didn’t say the words, she wouldn’t get the treat, but Ivy ignored her and looked away. Amethyst was even more stubborn. She slipped the sucker back into the pocket of her scrubs, spun her stool around, and focused on her laptop screen.
The look on Ivy’s face would have been comical if it wasn’t so calculated.
This wasn’t a case of couldn’t speak. It was more a case of didn’t want to speak. That was proven when Ivy yelled, “Yum!” again, and Amethyst repeated the requirement. Finally realizing she wasn’t going to get her way, Ivy broke.
“Sucker, please!” she said.
Her smile was blinding when Amethyst turned around, told her that she’d done a good job, and handed her the sucker.
“She can–she just won’t, and that’s a problem,” Amethyst told us as we watched Ivy work to get the wrapper off. “She needs socialization with other children in a situation where she’ll need to speak up to get what she wants.”
I had reminded Cassia of that conversation more than once.
Every time I did, she either got angry or burst into tears.
What she didn’t do–and for this I was extremely grateful–was bring Ivy into the discussion.
She never asked Ivy what she wanted to do, although that was probably because she wouldn’t have gotten an answer anyway.
Yes, Ivy was only two, but even Cassia had seen how different it was communicating with Aurora.
My niece was stubborn and wild, just like her mom, but she was also very vocal and had no problem expressing her wishes–also just like her mom.
I could tell that Ivy finally got started, she wouldn’t have a problem expressing herself. Someday she’d be just like her mom.
And by mom, I meant Cassia. In the three weeks since she and her sisters brought Ivy to Rojo and moved in with me, I’d gotten to know Cassia very well. Obviously, since we started sleeping in the same bed and waking up together every morning, I’d gotten to know her in more ways than one.
Everything I knew so far cemented my belief that Cassia was–and would always be–the most important woman in Ivy’s life, just as she was quickly becoming the most important woman in mine.
We hadn’t discussed marriage again, but I knew that conversation was coming, especially since we had a meeting scheduled with Petra in an hour.
Until then, I wasn’t going to bring up my idea.
“How long have you known this woman?” Cassia asked.
“I’ve known Meri Conner since I was in elementary school. She’s a few years older than me, so we never had classes together, but her guitar lessons were right after mine. She was usually there as I was wrapping things up, and I would sit in on her lessons until my ride picked me up.”
“Did you ever date her? If you did, was it a bad breakup? What am I saying? Is there such a thing as a good breakup? No, there’s not–especially when the health and safety of your daughter is in the hands of a woman whose heart you broke into a million pieces.”
“I have never done anything of the sort with Meri Conner. We’re not even that close, Cassia.”
“Oh! So you don’t really know the woman we’re trusting with Ivy?”
“Come on, Cassia. You’re getting all worked up, and you’re gonna upset Ivy.”
“Ivy couldn’t give a damn about our conversation because she’s got her headphones on and is watching the tablet you let her con you into bringing so she could watch your parents on TV.”
“Because I knew we’d be having another conversation just like this one, and I didn’t want her to listen in on it.”
“Now I’m a burden?” Cassia asked with narrowed eyes. I held her gaze until she looked away, muttering, “Sorry. I’m reaching and I know it. I’m just scared that something’s gonna happen to her and I won’t be there to save her.”
“You’ll be just a phone call away, babe.”
“Do you know what can happen in the time it would take me to get in the car and drive my ass over here?”
“It would take fifteen minutes. Maybe twenty.”
“An entire village can be decimated by a single incendiary device in less than a minute, Memphis.”
This wasn’t the first time she had compared our life in Rojo to the atrocities she’d witnessed growing up on the move with her parents.
I couldn’t imagine all the things she’d seen or experienced, but I was getting a pretty clear picture just by the things she mentioned in normal conversation and the things she mumbled in her sleep when she was having a nightmare.
They didn’t happen every night, but when they did, they came in waves.
I wasn’t sure if there was a pattern to it or if her dreams were random, but I knew I would never get used to jerking awake to the sound of Cassia’s tortured screams. Just like I’d never get used to hearing the ones that occasionally drifted down the hallway from Erisa’s and Iliana’s bedrooms.
“Come on, Cassia. Let’s walk Ivy inside and then grab a cup of coffee before our meeting.”
“Ivy can go with us. She’s got her tablet, so she won’t . . .”
“We discussed this. She’s starting daycare today,” I said firmly.
“You’re an asshole!”
“That is not the first time you’ve called me that since we met, but sometimes I have to be.”
“I’m sorry,” Cassia sobbed. “I don’t know if I can do it.”
“Give her a kiss and I’ll take her inside,” I suggested.
“No!” Cassia gave a full-body shake, then squared her shoulders.
“I’m strong enough to weather any storm and brave enough to bend when I need to.
” She glared at me for a second before she wiggled her jaw and blinked a few times to reset her expression.
Finally, with a much brighter look on her face, she said, “I’m still not happy, but I can fake it until we get her safely inside.
Fair warning, Memphis–I’m gonna lose my shit when we get back to the truck and probably go berserk on the drive to the lawyer’s office. ”
“Thanks for the heads-up,” I said, proud of myself for managing not to laugh.
“I’m probably gonna say some things I might regret later, but I’ll try to control myself.”
“I appreciate the warning.”
“I don’t like you very much right now, but hopefully that will pass.”
I couldn’t control myself anymore. I sputtered as I tried to hold in my laughter, only biting it back when Cassia glared at me. “Sorry. I’m taking this seriously. I promise.”
“Go! Go! Play!” Ivy yelled from her seat.
I looked over my shoulder and found that she’d pulled off her headphones and was wiggling with excitement at the sight of the daycare we’d already visited twice.
Meri had suggested that we stay with her to get her acclimated, but I wasn’t sure she needed that.
Within minutes of our first arrival, she had taken off with Aurora and a few other kids and headed straight for the toy kitchen in the corner.
The second time, she couldn’t get away from us fast enough–which broke my heart a little bit and left Cassia nearly inconsolable.
I had no idea what today would bring, but I knew Ivy would be just fine, even if Cassia wasn’t.
“She’s gonna be fine, Cassia. Do you want to know why?”
“Not particularly.”
I ignored her and explained, “She’s going to be strong because she’s seen that example in you and everything you do.”
“It’s really hard to dislike you when you say nice things like that.”
“Then I’ll keep the hits coming, because the last thing I want is for you to be angry with me.”
“I didn’t say I wasn’t angry,” she corrected, “just that at this second in time, I don’t particularly want you dead.”
That was it. I couldn’t hold it in anymore and cackled.
Ivy had no idea what was so funny, but she joined in anyway.
She was still laughing after I reached back and unbuckled her harness so she could get out of her seat.
She popped between our seats and gave Cassia a wet kiss on the cheek before yelling, “Go!”
“The princess has spoken.”
“She’s not a princess,” Cassia corrected. “She’s a brave warrior goddess in training who just happens to like glitter and the color pink.”
“Gotcha.”
◆◆◆
CASSIA