Chapter 22 #2
I knew I was being irrational, but I couldn’t stop myself. Every horrible situation I could think of–from tornadoes to falling space debris–kept running through my head. The thought that I wouldn’t be there to protect Ivy from disaster was physically painful.
And if Memphis didn’t stop being so fucking understanding about the entire situation, something catastrophic was going to happen to him. Seriously, what an asshole!
He was comforting, and rational, but never condescending, which was something I appreciated more than words could explain.
He held my hand as I cried all the way across town to the coffee truck, then left me in the truck while he stood in line to get our drinks.
Instead of just bringing back a tea for me to sip on, he brought a blueberry lemon scone, a chocolate donut, and a large cup of fresh whipped cream with a spoon so I could drown my sorrows in sugared carbs and top them with empty calories.
Obviously, the man didn’t understand how an asshole was supposed to behave.
Now, with Ivy at daycare, we were free to run some errands that would put us closer to getting married so we could start the adoption process–the bright spot at the end of today’s tunnel of sorrow.
How could he not be an asshole when I was wallowing in self-pity without a single valid reason? My daughter had been vibrating with excitement as we walked through the doors of the daycare and hadn’t even glanced over her shoulder before sprinting toward the other kids.
Was it wrong to call a toddler an asshole? I hadn’t voiced it, but the thought had definitely crossed my mind more than once since we dropped her off. How dare she be so okay with me leaving her at the mercy of the elements and the dangers of the world?
“What are you thinking about right now?” Memphis asked.
“Falling space debris.”
“Is it falling on my head?”
“No.”
“That makes me feel better.”
He got out of the truck and walked around to open my door. When I didn’t move, he leaned across me, unbuckled my seat belt, and gently turned me to face him. He nudged my knees apart and stepped between them, kissing me softly.
“You’re a brave warrior, too, you know.”
I scoffed at the idea and leaned forward to kiss him, wrapping my arms around his neck and shuddering as I tried to hold back another round of tears.
“You’ve seen and experienced things that most of us can’t imagine, yet you’re willing to let Ivy explore the world anyway. That tells me that you’re much stronger than I am because right now I want to go back, sweep her into my arms, and carry her home.”
“You do?”
“I do. But I’m not going to. And I know you won’t either.” Memphis leaned back, forcing me to let go, and ran his thumb over my cheek. “You’re a wonderful woman, Cassia Belushi. Ivy’s lucky to have you as her mom, just like I’m a lucky man to have you in my life.”
“Stop being so nice to me.”
With a deadpan expression, he lied, “I’ll try my hardest.”
“Let’s go inside and get this done so you can take me to a candy store and let me drown my sorrows in chocolate and caramel until it’s time to pick up our child.”
“Our child. I like that,” Memphis said with a grin.
“I hope so, because there’s no way you’re gonna be able to get rid of us now. You’ve seen me cry like a baby, which means I have to stay close by so I can kill you if you tell anyone how alarmingly close I came to acting like a fool.”
Memphis stepped back. I sighed as my feet touched the ground, and he immediately reached for my hand.
I squeezed his before I smiled up at him.
“Thank you for being so understanding, Memphis. I’m not sure I could have acted quite as calmly as you did if I encountered someone as unhinged as I’ve been this morning. ”
“Of course you could. I’ve seen you interact with your sisters on the daily, and you handle them just fine.”
I was still laughing as he opened the door and escorted me into the law office. I smiled when he introduced me to the receptionist. She hurried around the desk and hugged first him, then me, before explaining that she’d known Memphis since they were kids.
“Ebbie’s cousins are the guys who are building the slide for Ivy,” Memphis explained.
“I remember how much fun we had on the slides at Raven’s house when I spent the night,” Ebbie said cheerfully. “Ivy will love it, I’m sure!”
“I’ll probably use it too. I know my sisters are excited about it since they live upstairs. Iliana mentioned that she’s going to use it for her laundry so she doesn’t have to carry it down the stairs.”
“Aunt Summer did that!”
“Scarlet and Raven are bringing your sisters over to my house this evening for dinner. I can’t wait to meet them!” Ebbie said as she started walking down the hall.
As we followed her, Memphis took my hand and squeezed it.
I noticed that the second he touched me, I felt calmer.
Today was a big day, and whether she was here or not, Ivy was the main focus.
Yes, I had agreed to marry Memphis and tie my life to his for her sake, but the more I got to know him, the more I realized that wasn’t exactly a hardship.
I really liked him. I wasn’t ready to admit to myself, or out loud to anyone else, but I thought I might be falling in love with him.
It was far too soon to know for sure, and I wasn’t the kind of woman who blindly followed her heart. Still, I felt something for him that I’d never felt for any other man I’d dated–an encouraging sign, considering we were about to be married and spend the rest of our lives together.
Once we were inside, I greeted Vada Conner and Ranger Hamilton, two of Memphis’s friends I’d been introduced to at the wedding. I was surprised to see Memphis’s cousin Hawk sitting at the other end of the conference table, connecting cords to a laptop before he looked over and smiled.
“I think we’re all set,” Hawk said, nodding at the screen on the wall.
I let out a happy gasp when I saw my friend Oksana on the screen.
“Hello, love!” Oksana said cheerfully. “I’ll be representing you today.”
“I made arrangements with Oksana to join us via video and answer any questions you might have in real time,” Petra explained. “I have to admit, when we first met, I wasn’t too sure about her, but we’ve talked so many times I think we’ve become friends.”
“That’s terrifying,” Memphis mumbled, leaning in so only I could hear. He pulled my chair out, and once I was seated, he took the chair next to mine. “Okay! Let’s get this started.”
“Do you have big plans for this afternoon?” Vada asked.
“Once we get the prenup finished and the paperwork taken care of, we’ll go get our marriage license,” I announced.
“You’re not going to have a big wedding?” Ranger asked.
“Maybe someday,” I answered. “I thought it might be nice to plan for one in the future, when Ivy is a little older and can be our flower girl.”
“And maybe by then we’ll have a few more kids,” Memphis added. I looked at him in shock, and he shrugged. “A guy can dream, right?”
“Obviously, that’s something you two can discuss later,” Ranger said as he handed a copy of the papers to me and another to Memphis.
“Before we work out the details of the prenup, I’ve got the documents Memphis asked me to prepare. Oksana has already looked them over and approved them. We’re just waiting for your signatures before we present them to the judge for filing.”
I looked down at the papers in front of me and started reading, then glanced at Memphis before looking back at the screen and finding my friend Oksana smiling at me.
“What is this?” I asked.
“Ranger found another way for us to share custody without getting married so you can adopt Ivy legally.”
“He did?” I asked. I looked at Ranger and then Oksana. “How?”
Their explanation was a blur, but I got the gist. Ranger would establish Memphis’s parentage through the paternity results, then file a shared custody agreement giving us equal rights. There were other details, but those were the ones that mattered most to me.
“You don’t want to get married?” I asked Memphis, ignoring the others in the room.
“It’s not that I don’t want to marry you.
It’s that I don’t want to force you into anything.
I want to have a relationship with you, but I want it to progress naturally so that someday, when I ask you to marry me, you’ll be happy to say yes and start planning the wedding of your dreams,” Memphis explained.
Tears of relief filled my eyes. As they trailed down my cheeks, I whispered, “You’re not an asshole at all!”
“Well, thanks. I didn’t realize you thought I was in the first place.” Memphis sputtered.
“I’ve been saying it since we met, mostly to try to convince myself, but the thought was there.”
“So, what do you think, Cassia? Can we co-parent Ivy while we figure out the rest gradually?”
“Absolutely,” I whispered, leaning closer to kiss him. He kissed me back, and when pulled away, I added, “You’re going to make it very easy to love you someday, Mr. Forrester.”
“You’re already making it too easy for me.”