Chapter 7
BLAIZE
The grave had been my solace, but I knew if Olivia had been there, she would have been scolding me like everyone else.
I never questioned my morals, my motives.
I was confident in my decisions, always knowing how to react, what the next step in the plan was.
But the fear in Kadence’s eyes kept dancing through my mind, and regret tugged at my heart.
The cold organ in my chest was craving forgiveness, something I knew she wouldn’t give me, not anytime soon, anyway.
How could I be mad at that? I had hurt her.
I had made her relive her assault again.
I was the one who let my emotions cloud my judgement, just like I had before when I destroyed the Vandals.
I ran my fingers through my hair, dragging my hands down my face and letting out a long sigh.
“I fucked up, Livvy. I do that a lot lately. It felt like the night I lost you. There was so much rage inside me, it clouded my judgement. She was innocent. I always said I would never hurt an innocent person, and here I am.” I sighed.
“God, she reminds me so much of you. The determination, the ability to hide her pain, the attitude. Hunter says that’s why I like her. It feels wrong, but she…”
Fuck.
“I love you, Livvy. I knew you had something to do with this.”
After spilling my guts at Olivia’s grave, I said goodbye to my girls and shot a text to Hunter, asking what I needed to do to fix this.
Hunter had hoped that Kadence would forgive me and we’d ride off into the sunset on my Harley, but something like this was not easily forgiven.
Why couldn’t she just tell me who she was and why she had come here in the first place?
Why was I so passionate about finding out everything about this woman that it made my bones ache?
I was going to fix this, even if I had to crawl through hell and fight the devil himself to earn her forgiveness.
I’d made a lot of mistakes in my life, fought demons human and mental alike, but this was the one thing I refused to destroy.
The devil might be on my doorstep, but he didn’t send Kadence to torture me.
I should have realized that before it was too late.
I needed to check on Hawke. The entire motorcycle club was in shambles with Layla’s death and Fallon in the ICU.
My club was fractured at its heart, and I knew the person who was causing this chaos was waiting to strike again.
No one had a solid head on their shoulders, nor did we have people patrolling.
I wasn’t that much of a bitch to force my people to be okay when I was on the verge of shattering myself.
Hunter
Start with flowers. Roses. And a note. She needs vulnerability and space. Go from there.
And you need to grovel.
Blaize
I’m going to ruin this more.
Hunter
Maybe, but you can’t fix this by waiting. You fucked up, now you gotta pay the piper.
Blaize
Tell Drew to update me, even if he hates me, too.
Hunter
Yes, boss.
I walked back to my bike, sighing as I pulled on my helmet. This was my mess to fix, and goddammit I was going to fix it.
I walked into the local floral shop, purchasing a dozen gerbera daisies for Fallon and three dozen long-stemmed red roses to be delivered to Kadence the next morning.
I needed to go see Hawke, as well. He was eating himself alive over what had happened.
Hawke had attached himself to Kadence just like I had, but differently.
He saw her as the daughter he and Fallon had never had, more so for him than Fallon, but he knew what had happened to Kadence—and still did everything he did because I had told him to. He was loyal to me to a fault.
With the daisies in my hand, I tucked them into the compartment of my bike before revving my engine and driving to the hospital.
I had designated the roses and my note, ready to be delivered at nine tomorrow.
Hopefully, they did something. I had never understood the purpose of flowers, but some women loved them.
I walked into Fallon’s room, and Hawke was in the same spot he returned to each time he visited since she was admitted, with her hand in his silent prayers falling from his lips.
Religion had never been my cup of tea, but Hawke was a God-fearing man.
He thought prayer would save Fallon, and who was I to take that hope from him?
Hawke looked up at me, wiping his eyes. He looked like shit.
His hair was a rumpled mess, his eyes were puffy and red, and his face was rugged, covered in stubble.
“How are you doing?” I asked, knowing it was a stupid question.
He laughed slightly bitterly, but not angry. “Like I understand why you burned the Vandals to the ground.”
I pressed my lips together. My goal was for no one to know how I felt, and now three of my men knew the rage that filled my veins when I lost my wife and daughter. “Don’t let that anger consume you.” He arched his eyebrow.
“That’s what this person wants. Not just for me to be a monster, but for my people to be broken. Fight for Fallon. And then we can kill the person who did this, but don’t get angry and ruin everything.”
“Are you telling me or yourself?”
“Touché.”
“How’s Kadence?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t think she’ll talk to me.”
“Can you blame her?”
“Fuck you. But I know…I can’t be angry when I’m the one who did this.”
“Have you tried reaching out?” I shook my head. “Kadence is stubborn, just like you.”
I rolled my eyes. “I went to the flower shop. I scheduled a delivery. I’m going to fix this.”
“Give her a few days. Talk to Drew and see what he can tell you. I texted her a few times, but she’s ignoring me, too.”
“I really fucked up.”
“We both did, but all we can do is give her space to process. She never wanted anyone to know what happened to her, but I should’ve told you.”
“Then you would have betrayed her trust. I’m going to fix this, even if I have to beg for forgiveness.”
“Record that for me.”
“Fuck off. Let me know if anything changes with Fallon.”