Chapter 24
KADENCE
Iwoke up to Blaize’s finger trailing on a scar on my thigh. I felt her tracing my scars throughout the night, but now I was awake. “I got that one when I fell on glass.”
“How did you fall on glass?”
I laughed bitterly. “A drunk father who hated me?” Maybe laughing at my trauma wasn’t a good thing anymore. “I was fourteen, and he caught me having sex with a senior from school.”
“Kadence—”
I shrugged. “I thought it would help with the daddy issues by sleeping with older men. It just made me feel like shit. Anyway, my dad was drunk and pissed. The guy left and wanted me to come with him, but I refused. I didn’t love him, I just wanted sex to cope with my life.
” I sighed, watching the flashback replay in the back of my mind.
“All in all, he threw his bottle and it shattered. We argued, and when he pushed me, I landed in the glass.”
“Did he do anything to help you?”
“Nope. He called me worthless and stumbled to his bedroom.”
“Remind me to kill your father if I ever see him.”
I turned in bed and looked at her face. “I’m not mad. I mean, I am, but I’m not focused on that part of my life anymore. I’m not trying to erase my past, but I am trying to perfect my future.”
“Tu és perfeita, princesa.”
“What does that mean?”
“You’re perfect, princess. It’s Portuguese.”
“Is that where you’re from? Portugal?”
She nodded. “Yes. My mom was born there and came to America where she met my father. We moved back to Portugal for a while, but when I was ten, my parents moved back to the States.”
“Do you miss it?”
She shrugged. “I miss my vó, grandmother, but she died ten years ago.”
There was a comfortable silence between us, but I broke it. “What does this make us, Blaize?”
She sighed, sitting up in her bed, and I felt my heart ache. “Kadence, I’m not a good person. I don’t want to drag you into my shitty existence or bring my demons into your life.”
“I have my own demons, too, Blaize. Adding a couple more won’t hurt.
” She opened her mouth to speak, but I stopped her.
“I was raped. My father is looking for me, and I’m sure when my ex finds out I’m alive, he and an entire gang will come for my head.
I don’t care about what you did in your past, but I want to be in your future.
I want to be yours, and I don’t want to be a secret.
If you’re going to love me, I want you to love me loudly. ”
“For you, I will shout it from the rooftops. I’ll do whatever I need to do to prove it to you,” she said, brushing my hair out of my face. “And no one will ever touch you again. I will kill all of them if they ever decide to step foot in my town to harm you. I’ll protect you until my dying breath.”
I gave her a weak smile. “I know you will, but who will protect you? Hmm?”
“I’m a big girl, princess. I can save myself.”
I grabbed her hand, lifting it to her chest so she could feel her heartbeat.
“You feel that? You’re human, just like the rest of us.
You might think you’re invincible, but you’re not.
We all hurt. Physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Don’t push anyone away because of it. You don’t know who you’d hurt in the process. ”
“I didn’t ask for a shrink,” she stated blandly.
“It’s the therapy,” I mumbled. “It helps. Maybe it’ll help you, too. Can we go see Hawke and Fallon? Is she awake yet?”
She shook her head. “It’s still touch and go. She was hit in the chest and died before they brought her back. It’s gonna take a lot of healing for her to have the strength to wake up.”
I frowned, biting the inside of my lip. “How’s Hawke doing?”
She laughed bitterly. “I’ve known the man for nine years. He was my daughter's godfather, but even after they died, I never saw this man as weak and broken as he is now, watching his wife cling to life.”
“Neither of them deserved what happened to them,” I told her. “I’m really sorry about Layla.”
“It’s not your fault, princess. We’ll find them, but right now, we take it day-by-day. Damon let a few of his men come here because of everything, so we have men with clear minds patrolling the streets. Get dressed. We’ll go to the hospital, and then we’ll spar.”
My lip curved. “Drew told you I’ve been sparring with him?”
“You’re taking control of your life. I figured you can let out more rage with me.”
“You don’t know what you're asking for.”
She simpered. “If you have to hit me to let some anger out, then so be it. I can also teach you more things.”
“When I needed the skill, I failed. I tried to hit the man who attacked me on the pier, but he overpowered me. I can knock Drew on his ass, but when the time mattered most, I was still weak.”
“Fear makes us human. We can train and train until our muscles ache, but sometimes it doesn’t help.” She sounded like she knew from experience. “When I was taken before I lost my wife, I was tormented. I knew how to fight, but I was useless at that moment.”
“Why is it called self-defense if we freeze and are defenseless?”
“You are not defenseless. Don’t let fear hold you back if something happens again. If something ever happened again, I’d be there to save you.”
I smiled. “Sometimes I need to save myself, Blaize.”
Blaize slipped out of bed and started getting dressed. That was when I caught wind of the 9mm pistol on her nightstand. “Okay, then fight until I can shoot them.”
I arched my brow. “I thought you preferred knives?”
“Knives are for played out torture. If I need to kill someone on the spot to protect you, my gun works better.”
“Am I in danger?”
She sighed, and I saw the weight on her shoulders intensely now. “Possibly. Whoever did this planned it. They wanted me to hurt you. I don’t know what they’ll do to you if you stay with me.”
“Y’know, I never thought the people I fell in love with would cause my life to be on the line, but I feel safe with you—as long as your knife is only used for play in the bedroom and never with the intention of slitting my throat.”
She caressed my cheek, her eyes going to the bandage on my neck. I should be able to take it off in the next few days, but the spot he cut was the same as she did weeks prior. “If anyone touches you, I will kill them. And if I hurt you again, Annika has permission to end me.”
“Oh, she will with or without your permission.”
She rolled her eyes, knowing my bestie was only capable of murder if the people she loved were in danger. “Do you have a jacket?”
“Did you pack one? I only had the hoodie Annika let me use. I packed light when I ran away, and by light, I mean I had a backpack with a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and some medicine. I’ve acquired more since being here, but not enough.”
She reached into her closet, pulling out black leather and handing it to me. “This one should fit you. You can have it. Did you like the bike?”
I nodded, taking the jacket from her and brushing my fingers along the leather. “It was different. I was too angry at you to fully enjoy it.”
“Well, we will get the full use out of it today.”
“Is that why you always wear leather? Is it the stereotypical biker attire?”
“No. I wear leather because I look hot in it.” My cheeks burned. “I embrace my body, Kadence, and I like seeing you get flustered when you see me in it.”
“Have you ever had sex on your bike? Is that possible?”
She smirked. “Oh, it’s possible. There’s a couple ways I could do it.”
“Elaborate.”
She took my hand, pulling me from her bedroom. “You’ll just have to stick around to find out.”