Chapter 36
A few days later, Casey made her way up the garden path to Nate’s house to return his gardening books.
Her spirit felt lighter than it had for the longest time.
She didn’t even care so much about the meme anymore or the way Sam’s face seemed to leer out at her from every gossip magazine in the supermarket.
She was happy.
Writing again made her happy. Ajay made her happy. She had pretty much written herself off romantically and yet here she was, basking in the afterglow of another afternoon’s lovemaking before Ajay had left for his late shift and in the middle of writing a romance of all things! She sighed dreamily.
Through the condensation on the French doors, she could see Sylvie and Ken stood around the kitchen island, while Nate held his usual position behind it.
The water droplets on the glass gave a warm, hazy impression of the convivial scene within and made the colored Christmas tree lights explode into starbursts.
“Hullo there, Casey!” said Ken jovially when she entered the kitchen. The smell of herby sausages cooking in the oven infused the kitchen alongside the sweeter scent of Nate’s famous onion gravy, which simmered gently in a pan on the hob.
“Hey, all,” she replied cheerily.
“We just arrived ourselves,” said Sylvie, kissing her on both cheeks and then holding her out at arm’s length and grinning impishly. “Someone’s caught the love bug—look at you with your flushed cheeks and sparkly eyes. Ooh, I’d say you’ve got it bad, my girl!”
Casey snickered, embarrassed, but she loved being on the receiving end of Sylvie’s maternal leg-pulling; it made her feel like part of the family.
“I’d say you’re right,” said Nate. “Ever since Ajay came into our lives, she’s been floating about the place like a lovestruck puppy.
” He grinned at her as he threaded popcorn onto a length of string that would presumably join the other homespun garlands hanging around the house.
She flicked a piece of popcorn, which hit him square in the middle of his forehead, and he poked his tongue out at her.
“You can talk, young man,” Sylvie challenged. “Ellory just informed me that you kissed a pretty lady in the park after school.” There was a mischievous glint in her eye.
Casey looked over at Nate, who had blanched to the color of the popcorn he was threading. The mood of the room changed instantly.
“I’m—sorry,” he stammered. “I didn’t mean for her to see us…I thought she was too busy playing on the swings with her friends to notice. I’m sorry. I’ve spoken to her about it…It wasn’t intentional; that is to say, the kiss was unplanned, it just sort of, happened…”
Sylvie cut him off with a tut. “What are you apologizing for?”
Nate was squirming with horror. He cleared his throat, avoiding eye contact with Grace’s parents. “Well, for kissing someone and for Ellory seeing. It was irresponsible.”
“Your daughter seems delighted,” said Sylvie. “And you don’t need my permission to kiss someone, so you can stop looking at me like you just killed my cat.”
“It’s been two years, Nate,” Ken added kindly. “Nobody asked you to live like a monk. We’re happy for you, son.”
Casey worried that her brother might turn inside out with awkwardness, but he rallied and said, “It doesn’t matter anyway, because I told her that we can’t see each other again. So, it’s over. Subject closed.”
“Why would you do that?” Sylvie cocked her head to one side, frowning. “Did she kiss badly?”
Casey had to stifle a snort of laughter that tried to escape despite her brother’s discomfort.
“No!” Nate exclaimed, and then checked himself. “I mean, it wasn’t about the kiss. Or maybe it was. I don’t know…”
Having paled before, now he was blushing furiously.
“This isn’t a test,” said Ken, taking pity on him. “We’re not trying to catch you out.”
“Do you like this woman?” Sylvie asked in a way that sounded very much like a test.
Nate shrugged, looking like he’d rather be anywhere than here having this conversation.
“What does that mean?” Sylvie pressed, mimicking his shrug. “You’ve got a mouth, use it.”
Nate swallowed. “She’s nice. I like her. But it can’t go anywhere, so there’s no point in pursuing it.”
“Where is it that you want it to go?” Sylvie asked.
Nate dropped the popcorn garland onto the counter and threw his arms in the air dramatically. “I don’t know, Sylvie! I don’t know what I’m doing!”
Sylvie made a pft noise. “Stop overthinking it,” she scolded. “You kissed a woman that you like, and she is a good kisser, everyone’s a winner.”
A look of relief broke out across Nate’s face, and he gave a small smile, but a second later, he seemed to deflate before their eyes as he said quietly, “Not everyone’s a winner, though, are they?” He shrugged. “I feel like I’m cheating on Grace.”
Sylvie stood up tall, pulled in a breath that made her chest heave, and rested her hands on her hips.
“Is that what you think my daughter would want? For you to pine away your life? Hmm?” she asked.
Her Nigerian accent always became more pronounced when she was telling someone off.
Nate didn’t look at her, and Casey could see him struggling to maintain his composure.
Ken crossed the room and put his arm around his wife.
He kissed her hair as though giving his blessing, and when she spoke again her voice was softer.
“If I were to tell you that I know my daughter would want you to fall in love again, would that help? Because I do know, as only a mother can, that Grace would be saying, ‘Enough now, Nate, live your life.’ ”
Nate looked up then, his expression vulnerable.
“But what about you?” he asked. “How will you feel?” and Casey realized that it wasn’t only Grace’s memory that Nate felt he needed to protect.
He wanted to protect everyone who knew her too.
“If I meet someone else…I don’t know if I can manage without you in my life, I can’t lose you too… ”
“Why will you be without us?” Sylvie challenged. “Family is not a sofa; you don’t get rid of one to make room for another. There is no limit on how much family a person can have; the heart will stretch to accommodate the extra love. We are not going anywhere.”
“Nowhere at all,” Ken added reassuringly.
“Are you sure?” Nate asked, still uncertain, and Casey recognized his insecurity, the dread of having affection snatched away—their shared legacy of having parents who used their love as gambling chips in their game of marriage roulette.
“I suppose you could try to get away from us, but my wife is like a bloodhound,” Ken deadpanned, and Nate coughed out a laugh, wiping at his eyes with his jumper sleeve.
Sylvie nodded seriously, adding, “I would hunt you down. I can find anyone.”
“So, you see, you’re stuck with us.” Ken smiled at his wife.
Sylvie sighed and her husband rested his hand over hers. “When you married Grace,” she began, “we gained a son.”
“And we want our son to be happy,” Ken finished the sentence.
“That extends to you too, Casey.” Sylvie waggled a finger at her. “Family can look like a lot of different things, and you are a part of ours.”
Casey gave a little hiccup as a lump jumped up into her throat. “Thanks,” she managed to squeak.
When Sylvie turned her eyes back on Nate, she looked wistful. “Don’t waste any chance you get to be happy,” she said. “Call the girl…What is her name?”
“Hot Penny,” volunteered Casey, and Nate rolled his eyes.
Sylvie cocked her head. “Good name. Call Hot Penny and tell her you made a mistake.”
“And make sure she knows you mean it,” said Ken. “You don’t want her thinking you’re fickle.”
His wife nodded her agreement. “He’s right. Women don’t have time for capricious men. In fact, why don’t you let me call her,” she said, reaching toward Nate’s phone. “I’ll explain everything…”
“No!” said Nate, laughing. “No thank you, Sylvie. I’ll call her in the morning.”
“Do it now before she gets another offer!” said Ken. “Better still, ask her out for dinner this evening. We’ll babysit.”
Sylvie nodded her agreement. Nate hesitated, pressing his hands flat on the worktop, and then looked at Casey. “Can you keep an eye on dinner while I make a phone call?”
“Of course. Go!” she said, laughing.
Nate grabbed his phone and disappeared into his study.
“Well,” said Sylvie, coming over to stir the onion gravy on the stove. “That’s that. Now, let’s talk about Ajay. What a nice man. Lovely manners. I could tell right away that his mother had taught him well.”
Casey laughed. “I’m glad you approve.”
Sylvie nodded. “So much better than that Sam person. I never did like the cut of his jib.”
“You never said.”
Sylvie huffed out a breath. “I don’t like to interfere, you know. I’m very supportive.”
“Yes,” Casey said. “Yes, you are.”