Chapter 10 #2
I sigh. Okay, well, I want her to trust me, so I need to tell her everything.
“I went job to job. Started and dropped out of school. Partied like hell. Drank. Slept around. And gambled. Hard. I did a lot of stupid stuff. I put my family through hell. My parents and brothers bailed me out more than once. My sister finally took a huge risk to get me out of a debt that I was going to get beaten for, fuck, maybe killed over.” I shove a hand through my hair.
“I had issues. But I got help. I started attending therapy. Gave up my ‘friends’, gambling, drinking, and women. And moved here to start over, and that helped a lot. Leaving all of that behind was the best move I could make. Sierra broke my heart, I’ll admit. But that was over a year ago.”
Thea hasn’t uncrossed her arms, but she’s not frowning anymore. “And Ami doesn’t know that?”
“Ami’s never asked me.”
Thea chews her bottom lip. “But you wanted to spend time with Violet.”
“No. Not…really. I mean, yes, I agreed to. The whole festival, competition thing, sounded fun. She seemed nice and needed a date. But we are not dating.”
“What about the wedding… the accident…the ER…” Her eyes widen. “Did you not save Violet from the accident?”
“No. That’s all true. I met Violet at Perks and Rec earlier that night. I actually came to town to visit Harley.”
She looks surprised.
I shrug. “It was spontaneous. I was feeling restless. He was on my mind, so I just drove over and stopped at the house.”
“Oh…wow.”
“But he wasn’t home. So I went to Perks and Rec to grab a burger.
I was there when Chad, the guy she went to the wedding with, called.
He was supposed to come to Merry Mayhem with her, and he was backing out.
We got to talking and Violet asked if I’d be willing to step in as her partner, and I agreed. ”
Thea swallows. “So, you liked her.”
“I…” I think back to that night. “We talked for, maybe, ten minutes. We weren’t even flirting, Thea.
I swear. We were talking about sucky Christmases, she told me about Sam, and then about Chad, and about Merry Mayhem.
It was a very spontaneous decision. I didn’t not like her, but I wouldn’t say that it was anything more than an interesting way to spend Christmas. ”
“You thought your Christmas was going to suck?”
I shrug. “My parents are concerned about me, and I’m the only single one in the inner circle over in Autre. I was going to feel…” I blow out a breath. “Lonely? Left out? Melancholy? I don’t know.”
“Because of Sierra.”
“Because of what Sierra represented and what disappeared when she broke things off.”
Thea’s arms finally uncross. “What was that?”
“Being settled. A future. Someone to spend a Christmas with that we’d talk about thirty years later.”
She takes a step closer, and I wonder if she realizes it.
“Is that what you want?” she asks.
I nod. “Yes.”
“You seem really sure.”
“Why does that surprise you?”
“You’re…young.”
I give her a half-smile. “Believe me, I enjoyed my youth. I did more stupid things before the age of twenty-three than a lot of people ever do. I’m good.
I’m the baby of my family. My siblings are all settled and happy about it.
My parents have been married for thirty-three years.
Both sets of grandparents are happily married.
In Autre, I’m surrounded by people who believe in happily ever after. ”
She knows the Landrys well. She knows what I mean. I see true love and loyalty every single day.
I study her in the dim light. The hallway is illuminated only by light from the bathroom, which appears to be a nightlight of some kind, and outside light filtering in through the bedroom windows on either side of the hall.
“So you’re looking for something serious.”
I nod. “Definitely. I mean, not with Violet,” I say quickly. “That was just a spontaneous thing.”
“It sounds like you’re spontaneous a lot.”
I chuckle. “Yeah. It’s part of the package, I’ll admit. I’m a thrill-seeker. It’s how I ended up in a high-adrenaline job. It’s how I ended up a gambling addict,” I say, able to talk about it now where a few years ago, I’d deny it no matter who I was talking to. “I like a little chaos.”
“That doesn’t sound like someone who wants to settle down,” she points out.
“Actually, settling down is very appealing. I want to be a paramedic and firefighter long-term. And I want to do things like take off on last-minute vacations, plan surprise parties, decide to take saxophone lessons, Christmas shop on December twenty-third, show up on my mom’s porch without warning, decide that tonight is a great night to have pancakes for dinner…
that kind of stuff. But I’ve realized that having a stable foundation, people I can really count on, a home, is hugely important to me being happy and being the best I can be. ”
She thinks about that. “Why didn’t you just tell us about you and Violet from the beginning?”
“It was her plan. She wanted people to think she had a boyfriend. I don’t know all the ins and outs of that. I felt like it was her secret and that I had to keep it until she was awake and could tell me how she wanted to go forward.”
“Except with me.”
“I needed you to know that we’re not…”
She lifts a brow.
I decide to just go for it. “That we’re not messing around behind Violet’s back.”
She doesn’t say anything for a long moment. But she doesn’t deny that something is happening here.
Finally, she takes a step closer to me. “And you really do like frosted sugar cookies, better than plain?”
“Without a doubt.”
She presses her lips together, her eyes roaming over my face. Then she nods. “I do too.”
“Wait, what? You like frosted sugar cookies better than plain?”
“Every single time.”
“So, you lied.” I grin.
“Yeah. Otherwise, we would’ve answered all five questions exactly the same, and I thought that seemed weird, since you are my sister’s boyfriend. We shouldn’t have everything in common.”
I take the final step closer, which puts us toe-to-toe. “But I’m not your sister’s boyfriend.”
“No. You’re not.”
Heat is arching between us like I’ve never felt before. The hallway is hotter, and there is a humming in the air, almost as if someone has plugged in a generator.
“But we also haven’t messed around behind Violet’s back,” she says softly.
“Right. I just—”
“Yet.”
I stare at her. That one word takes a moment to sink in. Then satisfaction courses through me.
Yet.
“Yeah,” I say, my voice gruff. “Yet.”
“But…do you want to mess around? With me? Or do you want…more?”
Oh, fuck, I like this woman and how direct she is. “More, Thea,” I say firmly. “Definitely more.”
She pulls in a deep breath and tips her head back, looking up at the ceiling. “Dammit.”
“Dammit?”
“I think knowing you’re not her boyfriend and hearing you say that makes it worse.”
“What? Why?”
She meets my gaze again. “Because the entire town still thinks you’re Violet’s boyfriend.
My whole family does too. Violet thinks you’re here at least pretending to be her boyfriend.
If we act like there’s something between us, we look like terrible people.
My family is beloved in this town. My grandfather is the mayor. I have a business—”
“Wait, Bruce is the mayor?”
“No. Harley.”
“Harley is the mayor?” But it only takes a moment to sink in and then, it doesn’t surprise me.
“Yes. And I can’t let people think I’m cheating on my sister with her boyfriend.”
Fuck.
“And the town seems thrilled that Violet has a boyfriend,” I say, thinking back to the oohs?, aahs, and applause we got when Nora explained who I am to the town during our introductions tonight.
“Correction, the town is thrilled that you are Violet’s boyfriend. They think you’re awesome, and they’re thrilled that she has not only moved on but moved on with a great guy who Harley loves and who, once again, was a hero to my family.”
“You sound like you’re accusing me of something,” I say, mildly amused.
“Well, if you were a loser, it might be easier for them to get over you, as well as being a cheater.”
I chuckle. “If I were a loser, you wouldn’t give me a second look.”
“True.”
“But you are giving me a second look, aren’t you?”
“And a third,” she says almost grudgingly.
I lift my hand and cup her cheek. “I don’t want to date your sister, Thea.”
“And I don’t want people to think that we’re cheating on her while she’s in the hospital. I mean, at all, but especially with that.”
I stroke my thumb along her jaw, loving touching her. Wanting more. “So we go out and do Merry Mayhem as friends, as Violet’s sister and her boyfriend. Just as planned.”
Thea nods. “We have to. We can’t let on that we have any feelings.”
I lean in. “But we do have feelings.” I need to hear her say it.
I hear her breath catch, then she swallows. Finally, she whispers, “Yes.”
Thank God.
“But, behind closed doors, when it’s just us, I can do this.” I brush my lips lightly over hers. It’s not enough. And I don’t want to stop there, but I know I have to take this slow.
“Have you ever kissed Violet?” she whispers against my mouth.
I pull back so she can see my eyes clearly. “No. Never. We’ve never touched.”
“Thank God.” She grabs the front of my shirt with both hands and pulls me close as she arches into me, pressing her lips fully against mine.
Or maybe I don’t need to go slow.
My hands drop to her hips, and I turn her, backing her up against the hallway wall.
I don’t intend to grind into her, but I lose all of my good intentions when her hands drop to my waist and she pulls me more firmly against her.
She moans as my hard spots seem to find all of her soft ones.
She’s slender, but her hips fill my palms perfectly, and I itch to slide them around to her ass. Her breasts feel perfect against my chest, and I know I can sink into her for days.
It feels as if she’s given herself permission to let go. As if she’s been holding back, trying to control herself, and now she no longer has to.
Yes, sweetheart, let me have it all.
She’s clearly intent on driving me out of my damn mind, because she lifts one leg and hooks it around my thigh, pulling me even closer.
Fuck it. My hands slide under her ass, and I lift her. With her back against the wall, her legs wrap around my waist, and now I can fit my hard cock against that sweet, warm space between her thighs.
We both moan now.
I rip my mouth away from hers. “Holy shit.”
“I should say that I am shocked by this, but this is exactly what I thought it would be like,” she says breathlessly.
I stare at her. “You’ve imagined this?”
“Yeah. When you answered Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. You can’t wait for the good stuff, but you also like to drag it all out, right?”
It all makes sense to me. Maybe it wouldn’t to someone else, but I understand exactly what she’s saying.
And she’s right.
“We had the same answer on that one,” I remind her. And myself.
She catches her bottom lip between her teeth and nods.
I skim one hand up her side underneath the flimsy shirt she’s wearing. She shivers at my touch.
“Is this something that we can pursue?” I ask her. My hand wraps around her rib cage, my thumb nestled under one breast. I revel in the way her breath saws in and out quickly and unevenly.
“What are you asking me? Birth control? How I feel about having a guy over with my kid at home? If I’m dating anyone?”
“Uh…yeah,” I stammer. “All of that.” I puff out a breath. “Fuck, I probably shouldn’t admit that I forgot you have a kid downstairs.”
She gives me a smile. “Never dated a single mom before?”
“Actually, no.”
“It’s particularly interesting when the child is old enough to move around the house on their own and understand some of the things they hear and see.”
That stops my fingertips from stroking up and down the silky skin of her back. So she has dated.
“Oh.”
She tightens her thighs around me. “I have an IUD. I’ve never had a guy here with my daughter at home.
Or without my daughter at home,” she adds with a little wrinkle between her brows.
“And I’m not dating anyone.” She pauses and studies my face again, then says, “I haven’t dated in a really long time.
I haven’t had sex in a really long time either. ”
Heat licks through me, and I squeeze her side. “How long?”
“I’m really busy. And often really tired at bedtime. Let’s just say that my vibrator, which can get me there in five minutes or less, is my favorite appliance. And I really, really like my espresso machine.”
I take that all in and feel the corner of my mouth curl up in a very smug grin.
“Why are you smiling like that?” she asks, also smiling.
“Trying to decide what to say to that.”
“Speechless?” she asks. “Never been with a woman who hasn’t had sex in so long?”
“Not speechless,” I correct. “Trying to decide if I should say that I can definitely get you off in under five minutes if that’s what you need.
Or if I should tell you that I absolutely promise every single five-minute increment you give me past that will be absolutely worth being a little tired in the morning. ”
She takes a deep shuddering breath, then shakes her head. “I’m also going to tell you that I’ve never been with a guy younger than me. You’re gonna wear me out, aren’t you?”
My laugh is louder now, and I press my lips together and glance toward the steps. Where her twelve-year-old daughter is sleeping. But I pin Thea with a very serious hot stare when I look back at her. “Yes,” I say simply and firmly.
She just stares back.
“Tell me you’re going to let me,” I tell her, my voice husky, my hips pressing more firmly into hers, where I’m sure she can feel exactly the effect she has on me.
“Yes, Josh, I am going to let you.”
Fuck, yes. I haven’t felt this triumphant about anything in a really long time.
Somehow, spending more time with this woman, having a chance to get close to her, having a chance to give her pleasure, and yes, being worthy of her giving me some of her precious time and sleep, feels like a huge accomplishment.
“But it’s going to take a little juggling. Between Merry Mayhem and us not wanting anyone to catch on, and my daughter,” she says.
I can see that she’s a little sorry that I can’t carry her down the hall to her bedroom right now.
“No worries,” I tell her. I dip my head and take her mouth and a long, hot, slow kiss. Then I lift my head and let her slide down my body. Once her feet are on the floor, I step back and brush her hair away from her face. “Remember, I also like waiting till Christmas morning.”