Chapter 11
THEA
I’m on my second cup of coffee by six the next morning.
Which sucks.
Not the coffee. I love my espresso machine, as I mentioned to Josh last night. But I’ve been awake since five. I’m not sure exactly when I fell asleep or when I woke up. I tossed and turned all night.
Because of Josh.
I’d been doing okay, telling myself he was off limits and that I was going to have to ignore my feelings. At least, I thought I was doing okay with that. I was going to do okay with that. Yesterday had been day one. I needed some time to practice ignoring my feelings.
Then he blew all of that up.
He and Violet aren’t together.
He doesn’t have feelings for her.
He has feelings for me.
Tingles race down my spine, and I gulp my coffee.
As if further revving my nervous system with caffeine is the answer.
But I definitely can’t deal with all of this on five hours of restless sleep and no stimulants.
Because today at Merry Mayhem, working right alongside him in front of the entire town—a town full of people who’ve known me all my life and know me very, very well—I’m going to have to act like I feel nothing for the big, hot, charming, sweet firefighter.
Who I feel a whole bunch of things for.
So you believe him?
The text is from Andi. I texted her and Nora about Josh.
Because I can fully trust them to keep our secret, because I need to tell someone, and because there was a chance one or both of them was also already awake.
Nora is for sure up. But she’s, no doubt, running around getting ready for Merry Mayhem today.
Andi, on the other hand, keeps odd hours. She might have been up at three a.m. There was just as good a chance that she’d still be in bed at noon. But I took a chance.
Anderson Fleury is my best friend, besides Nora. Mostly because we’re the same age—ie, older than the other women who hang out in our circle. I’m thirty-one, Andi is thirty-two. She ended up in Rebel because of her ex-husband. Before he was her ex. He left, and she stayed, thank God.
Andi and I don’t have a lot in common besides our age and both living here, but we get along like long-lost cousins.
She’s an artist. Literally. She mostly paints, but she also sculpts, does pottery, and even does some metal work, depending on her mood.
She also teaches art classes for the Parks and Recreation department, and Nora hires her to create murals, signage, and other designs the department needs.
It’s sweet. Nora does it to give Andi jobs and, even more, to keep her from becoming a hermit in her little cottage outside of town.
Because Andi has often expressed interest in becoming a swamp witch, and the idea of such isolation gives Nora hives.
Andi knows this, which is why she agrees to the jobs even though she took her asshole ex's half of his very large bank account and investment portfolio, and she doesn’t need the paycheck.
I’ve pulled Andi in on a few patient projects where I needed a brace or assistive device modified, but not to give her money.
It’s because she’s so freaking creative.
With all of her tools and her ability to think outside the box, Andi was able to finagle things into workable adaptations, and the patients were delighted.
She has also painted a wheelchair and a walker for a pediatric patient, as well as two different wheelchair ramps.
One went from a plain wooden contraption to a red-carpet entrance worthy of the little princess and her sparkly purple carriage, which Andi also helped create.
The other became a colorful depiction of the older man’s favorite sports teams. Both bring smiles to the people who use them every day.
She even helped me redesign a patient’s bathroom into something not only functional but much prettier when we were finished.
I’ve tried to talk her into going back to school for an Occupational Therapy degree, but she’s very happy with things just as they are.
Now I think about her question. Do I believe Josh when he says that he and Violet are not dating? That they are actually nothing more than acquaintances, and just barely that?
Thea: I do. It makes sense. If they’d been dating since that wedding, she definitely would have been talking about Josh. He’s great.
Andi: That does make sense. Just be careful. Maybe he’s just not into women in comas.
I read her words and snort.
Thea: Uh, if he WAS into women in comas, that would be a mark in the ‘con’ column, don’t you think?
Andi: I’m going to say yes, being into unconscious women is a big ‘con’.
I roll my eyes. Jesus, Andi.
I realize deep down this is why I texted Andi. She’s practical under her eccentricities. And more than a little grumpy. Especially when it comes to men.
That happens when your college sweetheart turns into a controlling asshole who then cheats on you and expects you to understand that it’s your fault.
Okay, being happily single is also something we have in common.
Because I am. Happily single, that is. I haven’t wanted or needed a man in my life in…ever.
Ruth’s dad was a guy I’d started dating in college, and we ended up with a positive pregnancy test before we’d even met each other’s parents.
He stuck around, helped me through the pregnancy, was there when Ruth was born, helped financially, still does, and sees her here and there, but I have full custody.
He and his wife live in Houston. Ruth loves her two half-sisters, her dad, and her stepmom.
It’s, overall, a good situation for all of us.
And I’ve hardly done any of this on my own. My family, this whole town, has been there for Ruth and me, and they have helped in numerous ways.
But I haven’t had a man in my life because…I haven’t felt like I wanted or needed one.
And now Josh is here.
I know he’s spontaneous and flawed, and also looking for something serious.
With me.
I had expected the bright daylight and caffeine, and the absence of his big hot body up against mine, to make all of that seem more ridiculous and to help me find a way to say no.
That isn’t happening.
I hear the steps creak and my heart kicks against my ribs.
It’s not Ruth. She’s still asleep on the couch. Which means it can only be done by one person.
A moment later, Josh steps into the kitchen.
He’s freshly showered and dressed in his boots, blue jeans, and a long-sleeved Henley.
His hair is still damp, and it appears he has just shaved.
God, he’s cute.
He’s young, too. He’s five years younger than me. But he doesn’t seem to care about our age difference.
Looking at him now, feeling my heart pound, feeling the tingles race along my nerve endings, I realize I don’t either.
He’s more mature than a lot of the twenty-six-year-olds I know.
He’s been through some stuff. Addiction, those consequences, and recovery.
He also sees a lot as a paramedic and firefighter, I’m sure.
He left his comfort zone and moved to a new place, a whole different world and culture in Louisiana from Nebraska.
He realized he needed to change his life, and he did.
I don’t think that five years between us matters.
Hell, he might be more mature than I am in a lot of ways. I’ve never lived more than sixty miles from home. I now live and work in the same town where I grew up. I’m definitely not what anyone would call spontaneous.
“’Mornin’,” he greets, giving me a smile that slides over me like warm butter over a pecan caramel roll and makes my lower stomach clench.
God, I want to kiss him.
“Hi,” I say. My voice sounds husky. “There’s coffee. And the rolls are there on top of the oven.”
“How did you sleep?” he asks, crossing to the coffee pot.
I don’t even try not to check out his ass in those jeans. I might be attracted to him for more reasons than his blue eyes, big biceps, and nice ass, but I definitely noticed those as well.
“Not great to be honest,” I tell him. “How about you?”
He turns and leans back against the counter, regarding me across the space of the kitchen. “Not great. I didn’t think it would be appropriate to jerk off in Violet’s bedroom. So, I slept most of the night hard and dreaming of you.”,
My eyes widen. Okay. He talks blatantly about sex and has a little bit of a dirty mouth.
I don’t hate it.
At all.
“Same. Kind of. Not the hard part.”
One corner of his mouth turns up. “No vibrator use?” he asks. “Because I’ll be honest. Some of my sleeplessness was wondering what you were doing in your bedroom.”
I lift my coffee cup to hide my smile, sip, and then set it back down. “I thought about it. But I didn’t think it would be satisfying.”
He nods as if what I’m saying is akin to discussing how much tinsel is appropriate on Christmas trees. “I love that you’re already considering how much fun an extra ten or fifteen minutes could be.”
I finally give up fighting it and laugh. “Oh, I didn’t realize that was the offer. I guess my imagination ran away with me and thought it might be more like twenty or thirty minutes.”
He walks toward me. He sets his coffee cup on the breakfast bar, then leans onto his forearms and pins me with a direct look. “Let me be clear. We’re talking, you’re gonna lose a couple of hours of sleep. Fair warning.”
I lean over the bar and press my lips to his.
Yeah. The tingles from last night were not just a dark-hallway-late-hour thing.
He cups the back of my head and deepens the kiss.
I could definitely start every day like this.
Both of our phones ding at the same time.
I pull back, startled. I was totally lost in that kiss.
He just grins at me as he pulls his phone from his back pocket.
I look down.
It’s from Nora.
It’s Merry Mayhem Day One! Surprise Challenge One starts in thirty minutes! Town Square!
I look up at Josh. “Told you.”
“Damn. Seven a.m. This is hardcore.”
“You ready?”
His gaze drops to my mouth. “So ready.”
I grin and push back from the breakfast bar so I can slide to the ground. “For Merry Mayhem.”