22
Sagan
“Why do you look so sad when you’ve had so many wins lately?” Maple asked me gently when she found me sitting up on top of the tallest roof of Wauneka Castle that few could get up to.
I raised an eyebrow at her being up there but didn’t glance at her.
She chuffed and carefully made her way over to me. “I’ve been training hard, thank you very much. And I’m still a De la Rosa. You’re not the first to even have this as their hiding spot, dear niece.”
“Fair enough,” I chuckled and offered her my snacks.
“Oooh, what are we having now?”
“It’s a baklava fusion dessert the sirens make that Myriam imported,” I told her. “They layer like a cheesecake filling and dried fruit along with the normal recipe. It’s unreal.” I glanced at her as she selected a piece and took a bite.
“Gods above, this is divine,” she moaned. “I really wish I’d traveled more.”
“I want you to,” I finally admitted. “As my emissary.” I nodded when she froze.
“When things calm down a bit. I want you to not just be Princess Maple but have the actual role of the Queen’s Emissary like in the old days and go visit courts for me and continue what I started as an elder of the family.
Do what I thought I was doing for this family. ”
She was quiet for several minutes, sneaking two more pieces. “That’s an honor I never dreamed of anyone trusting me with, Sagan. I cannot put into words how touched I am.”
“I’m not the fool Father and Grandfather were.
You’re amazing, Maple, and much smarter than anyone ever gave you the chance to be.
I know you love me and would never betray me.
Never.” I glanced at her again. “If nothing else, I want you to live beyond being Princess Maple and go find out who you are. Out there. There’s a whole world you need to see. ”
And she’d always wanted to. I knew she had. Every time I came home, Maple was the first to ask me about seeing this country or visiting royal families—anything about traveling more than my studies.
Though she wanted to know about that too because she loved me.
She let out a slow breath. “When things are more settled here, I would love that.”
“I think things are better with Yolanda and the help we have,” I told her, hurrying on when she opened her mouth. “No one says you always have to be gone. Go to Protesia for a weekend or Bodach as Fraser did. While he’s here and Darren is. Okay?”
“I came to check on you and you’re worried about me,” she whispered, shaking her head.
“We all have to take care of each other and you guys were just as destroyed by what we found as I was,” I finally admitted, looking out at the night. “We all lost more than we’ve acknowledged.”
She let out a long breath. “I still can’t digest it. I believe it, but part of me can’t process it. Like I wonder if Amelia just went mad, but then pieces fit. Then I think maybe it was magic by the elders to try and make you go insane so they win? I have so, so many questions.”
I snorted. “Like why they bothered to hurry to my graduation and were upset we fought? Why bother when they thought me a monster and didn’t want me to take over?”
She swore under her breath. “I hadn’t put that together yet.”
“It’s all I keep thinking about,” I admitted.
“What’s your theory?”
I gave a half shrug. “That someone overheard me pushing back that I wasn’t going to do the next program they wanted me to.
That it was time for me to come home and finally learn about Thovudin so I could be a proper heir instead of always away.
That I was tired of the narrative and how they didn’t protect me from what was said against me.
“That I was tired of Elira trying to take my place and it was time to show the media I wasn’t useless—everything they allowed to be said about me.
” I chuckled darkly and shook my head. “They really were setting me up. My own parents. People really don’t think big enough on the conspiracies. ” I swallowed loudly.
“What?” she asked gently.
“And that’s why Benson wasn’t with them,” I whispered. “Because they were maybe finally going to tell me the truth and I was never going to become queen. So to keep studying or… He always went with Father when he traveled abroad. Always. It’s part of what never fit for me. I know in his mind too.”
“I’ve been drowning in so much of it that I don’t think I’ve even started locking in on what questions to ask besides how I missed so much,” she admitted.
“I knew they weren’t good parents. I knew Rhys wasn’t a good father or mate.
He was always going to be king first, but I thought he was better than my father. I truly did.”
I nodded, not knowing enough to be able to say anything useful.
“We can’t let this eat us and have to somehow accept that we won’t understand their twisted minds,” she said with a shaky voice. “I don’t know how either, but we have to. They don’t deserve us giving them this energy.”
“If you know where the switch is to shut it off, please tell me,” I grumbled.
“Fair. I’m doing the same, but I’m just…”
“I know.” I reached over and took her hand, both of us chuckling when they were a bit sticky from the baklava.
“I’ll bribe Myriam to get us more, but I’m not stopping. This is—I’m so glad you’re making this your home and what you need.” She moved closer. “I’m sorry I was so blind to Raquel. She was—things just always… I still hear my parents in my head that tradition cannot be touched.”
I snorted. “Hypocrites.” I glanced at her. “We’re so far from the founding traditions that—hypocrites.”
“Yeah, I’m starting to see that.” She let out a slow breath. “Fraser and I are disappointed in our other siblings.”
I decided to share what Belinda had told me. “They’re hoping I’ll fail and you and Fraser will be tainted along with me so their kids have a chance to be next.”
She was quiet for so long I thought she was going to let that go. “How?”
“Belinda.”
“She really—her magic?”
“No, all the favors and… Actually, I don’t know if it’s favors or just being ancient means you meet a lot of people along the way.
She’s—I think she’s seen something or knows something that makes it clear that I have to be queen.
I don’t know. She stares at me funny sometimes and then her eyes fill with fear but also determination. ”
“No pressure,” she drawled.
I snorted.
“Will they hurt you?” she worried.
“I don’t think anyone in this family is stupid enough to try,” I answered honestly.
All my father’s siblings knew what I was and had witnessed what I could do as a child.
They might want their kids to take my place, but they fully believed if anyone found out I had two dragons, it would be the end of our family ruling.
I wasn’t sure why they thought that—maybe some influence from my father’s beliefs—but they did.
“We should focus on the wins,” she whispered, sounding sad.
I snorted again.
“I know it’s two steps forward and one back, but you’ve had them.”
I shot her an annoyed glance. “Yeah, but those steps forward I limp, Maple.”
She bobbed her head and stared out at the night.
“But they’re big fucking steps. The fires are out in Fiete and Idunn, and what we’re getting in return is huge.
Even your biggest critics are saying it was bold and you’re smarter than they gave you credit for.
The embargo with Khirriln is lifted, and those elders’ companies are going under already. ”
“People are furious some are losing their jobs because of that,” I countered. “And others are giving me shit that our government isn’t stronger and we need the help from other countries.”
She kept bobbing her head. “Yeah, it’s always going to be like that.
Even if you’re perfect, people will still bitch.
They will always find something to bitch about.
They will make it up even. But you know you did the right thing.
You did the best possible thing with the information and options you had.
” She reached into her pocket and handed me something.
I read it over and chuckled. “Thanks, Maple.”
“I’m proud of you, Sagan. Fraser and I mean it when we say you’re going to be a much better ruler than your—Rhys. I believe that.”
I was starting to truly hear them when they did.
I was reading the proof of it. She’d written an op-ed fighting back saying instead of people complaining that they were losing their jobs working for corrupt elders who had hurt our country…
Why weren’t they hurrying to apply at the import companies who would now need to expand since Khirriln was ready to sell to our people?
Fine, people who were dairy farmers probably couldn’t make the switch easily, but stranger things had happened. There were also other dairy farms. There were always other opportunities. I was working on making the economy stronger.
What were they doing besides bitching?
They could ask for temporary jobs helping with Queen Rani’s assistance or more.
Instead, they were just attacking me, and that did nothing for Thovudin, only their own selfish interests and only in the short term.
She hoped people saw that fast and moved on so we could all work on making Thovudin better.
“The royal family of Zeslyn is settled at two of the family castles and quietly,” she reminded me. “The money they’re giving no longer needs to help with the food shortages because of Queen Rani and can now go into your accounts. They are actually helping Olwen’s sister update those castles.”
“Is that smart?” I worried.
“Yes, because they need the project after what they’ve been through,” she admitted.
“I went there quickly and talked with the team that’s doing the renovations here.
It’s all straightforward updates. Some plumbing.
One castle needs a lot of updated electrical for more electronics and better internet. Everything Rhys neglected.