Ian
BEFORE
My head is fucking throbbing. The thump thump thump echo rattles my skull. What the fuck. I roll over and freeze. I peel my eyes open and see Maddox’s side empty. What the hell? I turn to our clock and see it’s six in the morning. What the hell?
Thump thump thump.
Not my skull. The door. “Madd? Who’s at the door?” I bury my face in the pillows, smoothing my hand across Maddox’s side.
It’s cold.
Where is he? I passed out as soon as I got home. I texted him to let him know I was going home with another friend so he didn’t have to come back and get me. He was probably with Jamie. I grab my phone and see what looks like hundreds of calls and messages.
Most from Anna. Some from Hunter. What? Some from . . . Lia? What the hell is Jamie’s mother calling me for? Why are—
Thump thump thump.
“Alright.” Dammit. I get up and find my pants on the floor and slip them on. I scrub my face, my feet slapping against the hardwood floor as I make my way to the door. Everything feels eerie and still. Empty. A chill runs down my spine. This doesn’t feel right.
I stop in the center of our living room.
Wait a minute.
My brain finally comes back online when the pieces begin to snap into place. Another round of frantic bangs echo through our loft.
Missed calls. Empty bed.
I run to the door and swing it open, and I immediately want to close it again.
Slam the door on reality. I shake my head.
Anna. Her face puffy and red. “Ian.” She sobs, latching onto me.
She’s shaking so hard I almost can’t hold her up in my confusion.
My mind spins, and I tighten my arms around her, bringing her inside.
I don’t want to. She hasn’t said anything, but I already know what’s going on. I refuse to believe it. “No. Don’t.”
“I’m so sorry.” She’s shaking so hard, screaming so loud, I’m afraid she’s going to give herself a panic attack. Can people pass out from crying?
I wasn’t sure then, but I know now, maybe not.
Because as hard as I cry, I stay conscious through it all.
She tells me about everything. The accident. Maddox’s mom called her, not me. Her.
One person’s mistake changed everything in my life going forward. Every dream we had. Every plan we made. Every goal we wanted to achieve.
It’s all gone.
He’s gone.
Then I’m crying in her arms while we both melt to the floor, holding each other for what feels like an eternity. I don’t want to let her go, which is good because with the death grip she has on me, I don’t think I’ll be able to detach her.
Nothing will ever be the same.
And while I’m crying so hard, I can’t think, see, or breathe right, I don’t pass out. I feel everything like a crushing weight I don’t think I’ll ever break free from.
My life is over.
The shop.
Fuck the shop.
Fuck everything.