24. Ian #3
“Hate it?” I laugh through my tears. “Jules, this is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever given me.”
I pull back and run my thumbs beneath his eyes.
For a moment, I simply look at him.
The mural.
Our shop.
This pendant.
Everything we've been through. Everything we've survived to get here.
Every hardship somehow makes this moment sweeter.
My hands slide to the back of his neck. “You really are unbelievable, you know that?” Then I kiss him. Slowly. Like I need him to understand everything I can't put into words. Every ounce of gratitude. Every piece of love. Every bit of hope he's given back to me.
This man found me when my heart was shattered and patiently helped me put the pieces back together.
Jules melts into me instantly. His fingers curl into my shirt as he kisses me back, pouring just as much emotion into it.
We stand there for a long moment, neither of us willing to let go. When we finally pull apart, he rests his forehead against mine. I reach for the pendant again, wrapping my fingers around it.
“I'm going to wear it every day.”
His smile breaks wide. Bright and beautiful. His eyes shine so intensely they rival the stars trapped inside the pendant. For the first time in a long time, the ache of missing Maddox isn't the only thing I feel.
There's love.
So much love.
For years I wondered what I was doing with my life. Where I was going. What any of it was supposed to mean. Now, for the first time in a very long time, I know with overwhelming certainty.
This is exactly where I'm supposed to be.
And he's exactly who I'm supposed to be with.
“So . . .” He turns in my arms. “Do you want to finalize applicants?”
I look over at Maddox’s station. I’d put up a small shelf right next to the mirror to put his ashes on. Now that Jamie’s done, I can finally put him there. I look at his station. “Yeah, but first, do you want to help me clean out his station instead? I want to get set up for next week.”
“Okay.”
We walk over to it, and I don’t feel stuck like I have been before. First, I go to the packages. “I have no idea what these are.”
I open the smaller box first, and I’m not surprised by the tattoo gun in it.
“Wow, shit, I wish I’d known this was in here.
” I laugh. It’s a deep red, his favorite color.
I never even considered he’d buy a new one.
“Well, looks like I’ll have a new machine to use.
” Julian smiles then sits in his chair. I don’t have that heavy feeling I usually get. I almost wonder if he’s testing me.
I grab the big package. It’s thin and wide.
I begin to open it carefully, noting the fragile sticker on the box. It’s heavy. Bubble wrap covers it, and I gently peel all the foam and padding away. “Holy shit, Ian.”
“Oh my god.” I find an outlet and plug in the neon sign. It glows blue. “That’s incredible.”
I look at the sign and can’t believe it. I swallow thickly looking at the words.
Infinity with you
Est. August eighth
I can’t stop staring at the sign. I feel Julian’s hand on my lower back, his fingers moving slow circles along my spine. I feel his lips press to my head. “Are you okay?” he asks carefully.
I tilt my head to him and close the inch between us with a kiss. “I am. With you I am.”
Something breaks in his expression, relief maybe. Like he’s waiting for me to run, and I hate that. I plan to show him that I’m not going anywhere. I’m not running from this anymore. I don’t know where this sign will go, but I’ll figure it out. I place it gently at a different station.
“I’m not going anywhere, Jules.” I slide my arms around his neck.
He kisses me like he’s afraid at first, but then it grows hungry.
I press closer, my fingers twisting in his shirt. His hand comes up, cupping my jaw, and the kiss deepens. Slow and unhurried in a way that makes my knees threaten to give out. There’s no sadness. No desperation. Just warmth and certainty.
He whispers my name against my lips, and we need to stop before I figure out what positions are possible in a tattoo chair. “Let’s go through the rest. I’d like to get these switched over by Monday.”
Julian sits with me while we go through his things.
I find his old sketchbook and decide to keep that with me.
Most of it is supplies. I find a little Tweety Bird figurine I decide to put by his mirror.
He loved Looney Tunes. I still have his Bugs Bunny shirt upstairs, which I wear to bed sometimes.
There’s also a book log in here with names and dates of clients he had, and his portfolio, which I plan to display somewhere in the shop.
All the while, Julian keeps me company as I explain everything I find.
The little Matchbox Lamborghini, because Maddox was determined to be able to afford one, one day.
The pencils he used, and refused to draw with anything else.
I take him through the pictures on his mirror.
We’re here for a while, under the mural.
Under their watch.
With nothing held back between us for the first time in so long, I finally feel free.