24. Ian #2
Jamie sighs and gives him a grateful smile. “When I imagined having a guard dog, I’d thought he’d be more cane corso and less chihuahua in a sparkly purse.”
“Ha ha.” Noah rolls his eyes. “You aren’t talking to her.”
“What’s going on?” Julian asks. “I feel like I’m missing something.”
“Last year, when I came to get that tattoo, Ari said something—”
“She said she wished you’d end it,” Noah snaps, and damn, I’ve never seen him like this. I’m just happy now he’s forgiven me for what I said to Jamie. I like that he’s protective of him. “That your mother didn’t—”
“Okay, Noah, I know,” Jamie snaps. “I know what she said. I know.”
“And then you broke up with me!” He glares.
“She said that?” Julian asks.
“Yeah,” Jamie says softly. “She said if I was to do anything right with my miserable life, I’d end it. And yeah, she said fucked-up shit about my birth mother. Which means Ailee was telling her about me. I just want to talk to her.”
“No.” Noah’s jaw clenches.
Jamie turns to him, cupping his face and offering a slight smile.
“I need you to listen to me, okay?” Noah’s hard eyes soften.
“I love that you love me. I love that you’re trying to protect me.
But if I want to talk to her, I’m going to—” Noah opens his mouth.
“No. You need to respect this. Okay? I’m not the same person I was back then.
I don’t . . . I don’t even think she’s the same person she was, and I just want to talk to her.
Not now, not tomorrow, but sometime, okay?
It’s eating away at me.” Jamie kisses him.
“I need you to trust that I know what I’m doing.
I’m not going to up and leave you again. Never. Alright?”
Noah deflates. “Fine, but just know if she hurts you again, I’m going to pinch her.”
“I have no doubt.” Jamie looks at us. “We’re going to go. We’re leaving in the morning. I’m happy you guys love it. I’ll tell Amira. Be ready, she’s going to call for a tattoo.”
“Anything, any size, anytime.” I give Jamie a final hug. “Thank you so much. For everything.”
Jamie gives me a grateful smile. “He’d love this for you.” He squeezes my arm.
Noah gives Julian a hug. “Just remember. If you ever need to vent about him, call me. They can be spicy while they’re going through therapy. It’s hard. Believe me, I know. You just have to be patient, even when you want to strangle him.”
“Okay, Noah, that’s enough now.” Jamie loops his arm around him and leads him out the door.
In the silence they leave us in, Julian’s head turns back to the mural. “This is . . . incredible.” He looks at me. “Thank you so much. This is the best gift in the world.” He walks up to it and reaches out to touch. I step behind him and wind my arms around him, kissing his shoulder.
“I love you, Jules.” He looks back at me, planting a soft kiss on my lips.
He turns in my arms with a soft smile. “Thank you. I love you so much.”
A soft smile curves his lips.
I don't know how it took me this long to understand what I was feeling. Maybe I always knew and was too afraid to admit it. But with him here, wrapped safely in my arms, there isn't a single doubt left in my mind.
“I got you something,” he says quietly. “As a surprise. I'm a little nervous, though.”
My brows knit together as he steps back and reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small wrapped box.
“I wanted to surprise you with the mural.” He laughs softly, shaking his head. “Looks like I'm the one who got surprised instead.”
He holds the gift out to me.
“Anna helped me. I just...” He shifts nervously. “I'm nervous about this. I don't know how you'll feel.”
“Okay...” I take the gift and carefully unwrap it. His nerves are starting to make me nervous. I peel away the paper and find a small velvet box inside. Looking up, I meet his warm eyes.
“Go ahead, Ian.”
Taking a breath, I open it.
The moment I see the pendant, I forget how to breathe.
It's beautiful.
The infinity symbol is marbled with deep navy and lighter shades of blue, streaked with delicate flecks of gold that look like stars scattered across a night sky. It looks like an entire galaxy captured inside a single piece of jewelry.
My fingers tremble as I lift it from the box.
“This is beautiful, Jules.”
His smile falters. “It's, um...” He takes a deep breath. “It's infused with Maddox's ashes. Anna took a small amount and I had it made. I just thought maybe you'd like having him with you. If it's too much, I understand. I know I shouldn't have taken any without asking first. I just—”
My eyes snap to his. Everything around me fades. For a second, I can't speak. I stare down at the pendant resting in my hand. My vision blurs as emotion crashes into me all at once.
The grief never truly leaves.
Some days it's quiet, tucked away in the corners of my heart. Other days it feels just as sharp as the day I lost him.
A tear slips down my cheek before I can stop it. I clear my throat, trying to force words past the lump that's suddenly there.
Immediately, Jules' face falls. “I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have—”
“No.” I look up at him. “No, Jules.” I gently place the pendant back into the box and set it on the table before reaching for him. My hands cup his face, and I lean closer. “You have no idea what this means to me.”
His fingers curl around my forearms as I hold him.
For so long, I was terrified that time would steal pieces of Maddox from me. That I'd forget the sound of his laugh or the way his eyes lit up whenever we were about to get ourselves into trouble.
But looking at this pendant, I realize something.
I will never lose him. Not completely. He'll always be here with me. In the stories I tell or the memories I have. And now, I can carry a small piece of him with me wherever I go.
“You did this for me?” I manage to ask.
His own eyes are shining now. I love this gentle, thoughtful man with my whole heart. “Of course I did,” he says softly. “I wanted you to have something you could take with you, since he's staying here.”
That nearly breaks me all over again.
I pull him against me, wrapping my arms around him as tightly as I can.
“Thank you,” I whisper against his ear.
He lets out a shaky breath and hugs me back.
“I was afraid you'd be mad,” he admits quietly. “Or that you'd hate it.”