Chapter 14
MILA
Daddy got me in trouble for still not talking to Aiden about what happened three years ago. It had slipped my mind because of how much fun we’ve been having.
Well… more like I wanted to forget about it so I didn’t have to tell him anything.
“You’re going to be okay,” Daddy says as he kisses the top of my head. “Just go there and explain yourself.”
Sighing, I nod and walk out the door. My legs feel like lead the more I walk, as if they know the doom we are about to walk into.
It was supposed to be a relaxing time at the lodge, and while it has been, there have been several moments where it’s been anything but relaxing.
Almost getting lost when I was trying to run away from them the other day and the conversation we had after was stressful.
And now this.
I walk into Aiden’s cabin to see him sitting in his recliner, watching TV.
“Hey, Mila. What brings you here?” he asks as he sits upright.
Clasping my hands together, I look down at them. It’s now or never.
“Mila? Are you alright?” He stands up.
“I lied to you!” I yell, not daring to look up at him. “I lied to you three years ago when I got into the car wreck with my mom and older brother.”
“Okay,” he slowly says. “Do you want to sit down?”
I shake my head. “I don’t deserve to, and I won’t say it if I take time to sit down.”
“Mila, everything is going to be okay. Why don’t you take a deep breath, then you tell me?” He takes a step near me.
“Don’t.” My voice breaks. “I lied and I’ve been feeling guilty ever since. Tobias told me to tell you, and I’ve been meaning to, but every time I see you, I just can’t bring myself to.”
“That’s why when you see me you’ve been walking the other way,” he says like it makes all the sense in the world.
“I wasn’t okay back then! I should have let you come down and be with me, but I was worried that you were going to get mad.
Then I would lose my job,” I ramble. That’s another thing I need to come clean with…
that I lost my job. “I only got a week off to deal with everything, then I went back to work. I’m pretty sure I still had a concussion, but they needed me and I said yes. ”
“Mila,” he gently says.
Holding my hand up, I stop him from saying anything else.
I need to get this out. “I lied to you and I know what I did was wrong. I shouldn’t have but I knew you would disapprove, and it helped me to work.
I didn’t have to think about what happened.
When I got home, I was too exhausted to think about anything else but sleep. ”
Tears run down my face with every word I say.
“No one told me they were sorry for my loss but you. Everyone just pretended like I was okay and not like something tragic had just happened,” I whisper toward the end. “I let them. Everyone in town knew what happened, yet no one showed up to their funeral but me. I was the only one.”
He wraps his arms around me and I sob, clinging onto his shirt like my life depends on it.
“No one else came to their funeral. It’s like they didn’t care that they knew my mother for their whole lives.
Mom was good friends with a lot of them.
They didn’t come,” I wail. “I’m sorry for lying to you.
I wanted to tell you the truth, but I didn’t want you to have to take time off because I know you don’t get a lot in a year. ”
Aiden runs his hands up and down my back. “You’re forgiven.”
I shake my head. “You shouldn’t forgive me so easily.”
He pulls back slightly and cups my face. “Why not?”
“Because I don’t deserve it. I should be punished and have to live with this guilt for the rest of my life. I should be told that I deserve it,” I explain.
“No,” he sternly says. “We are not going down that road. What you did was bad, yes, but it’s not the end of the world.
Do I wish you had told me back then so I could have been there for you?
Absolutely. But it’s okay. You have been through so much already.
You have lived with this guilt, and I have no doubt that you’ve been beating yourself up about it every single day since you told me the lie. ”
He’s not wrong, but it still doesn’t feel right.
“I should be punished,” I whisper. “I need to be punished for it. It’s the only way that my guilt is going to go away.”
Aiden searches my face for several seconds before nodding. “Okay. We’ll do corner time where your nose has to touch a sticky note.”
I groan. “What about something else?”
“You don’t get to pick what you get,” he chuckles. “Let me hug you for a little longer and then we can get on with the punishment.”
He wraps his arms around me again and I continue to cry into his chest, letting everything out. I don’t know how long we stand there, but by the time my tears stopped rolling down my face, I am utterly exhausted.
“Okay, let’s do corner time and then I’m going to put you down for a nap,” Aiden says.
“I need to get back to Tobias,” I mumble as he leads me to the corner. “He’s going to worry about me if I don’t come back to him. I don’t even know how long I’ve been gone.”
“Don’t worry about that,” he says. “You’ll go back after your nap. Tobias has already walked by and saw that I was with you and I’ll text him when you are in time out.”
“Are you sure he won’t be mad at me for being away too long?” I ask as I step on my tippy toes to touch the sticky note with my nose.
Aiden rubs my back. “He’s not going to be mad at you, I promise. Now, no talking in corner time unless you feel like you are going to pass out, understand?”
“Okay,” I mumble.
“Good girl. Now, I’m going to be sitting right over here watching you and texting Tobias. I’ll let you know when the time is done,” he says and walks away.
My calves are already starting to ache the longer I stand on my tippy toes. How long am I going to have to stand here for? Am I going to survive standing the whole time or will the time have to restart if I fall?
I push the thought to the back of my mind as I focus on keeping my nose touching the sticky note. I need to stay on my tippy toes so the time doesn’t restart.
I must stay on my tippy toes.
“Time,” he says.
I immediately drop and take a deep breath in.
“Are you alright?” he asks.
I nod.
“All is forgiven now. Let’s put you down for a nap and then you can go back to Tobias,” Aiden says as he leads me to a back room.
“I don’t wanna nap,” I mumble.
“I know you don’t want to, but you need it. You’re falling asleep just standing here,” he points out.
“Don’t wanna sleep without Billie.”
I had never fallen asleep without holding her, and I wasn’t going to start doing it now.
“Don’t wanna,” I slur my words as my eyes start to droop. “I won’t.”
“Will my old stuffed animal work?” Aiden asks.
Gasping, I look at him in horror. “No. It has to be Billie. No one can replace her.”
“Whoa, Mila. I wasn’t saying I was going to replace her,” Aiden says. “I just was wondering if you could sleep without her this once.”
Tears pool in my eyes as I look up at him. “I want Billie.”
“Okay, okay. Don’t cry. I’ll ask Tobias to go grab Billie for you,” he coos. “Why don’t you sit down here while we wait for him.”
Aiden leads me over to the couch and I sit down, my eyes drooping even more. Oh I just want to sleep right here, but I know sleep won’t come until I have Billie in my arms.
“Can you bring Billie over?” Aiden asks. “She won’t take a nap until she has her. Thanks.”
I lean my head back, resting on the couch. “Is she coming?”
“She’s coming. Why don’t you try and fall asleep and before you know it, Billie will be here,” he gently says.
“No.” I push my bottom lip out.
Aiden sighs and kneels down in front of me. “Then what do you want to do until she comes?”
I shrug. “I just want her.”
“Billie is here!” Daddy yells as he walks into the house.
I look at him with tired eyes and hold my hands out. “Daddy. Billie.”
“Hi, Little One,” he coos at me. “Are you ready for your nap?”
“Just want you two,” I mumble.
“I’ll take her back to the house if that’s okay with you,” Daddy says to Aiden.
“That’s fine.”
Daddy picks me up and holds me close to him. I snuggle into his chest, holding Billie close to me.
“So tired,” I mumble.
“You can fall asleep. Daddy is right here.”