Chapter 26 Jess
JESS
I’m still shaking in the passenger seat as Nadir drives the three of us back to the city.
God, you couldn’t write this shit. A few weeks ago, I was answering interview questions with Leon. I thought my life was complicated. I wanted to change that around…
I bring my legs to my chest, slouching in the seat as we thread between fields at two something a.m.
I can’t bear to look at him. He’s dripping in blood and I’m aroused, when I should be more annoyed. And I am. But I’m not as annoyed as I want to be.
Taro only wanted me because he thought I was his best shot at getting into leadership. Owning a pretty girl gives you several Bratva advantages, apparently
Taro said I had potential. He spilled my coffee in the park deliberately because he thought I’d be easy to control. And I let him right in.
In the end, he found his own way to the top. Taro hasn’t needed me since. And then he had a nice chat with Nadir down an alleyway and realized that Nadir cared about me and the triplets.
He took a gamble because of it, capturing me, hoping that Nadir would hand over his riches.
Oh, how wrong he was.
Sure, Nadir saved me. But he came all the way out here wanting me and the business.
My heart sinks further into my chest as we make it back to the city. I feel Nadir in my peripheral vision, trying to get my attention, but I look away.
What an asshole. He knows how much I love his eyes. One glance and I’m head over heels. Literally.
He’s preying on my weakness.
And it hurts so fucking much, because all my body wants to do is lean on him. I want to surrender, give myself all of him and never let go.
I did that one too many times during sex, offering myself pieces of him, trusting him with my body.
It makes letting go so much harder. But even though it felt right with him, I don’t come first anymore.
I have to break the cycle and stop choosing men who are bad for me, and choose my children. Their safety matters most.
I run my hair through my hands, watching the city lights roll past. Taro was right about one thing. Nadir thought he was coming out here so save me. It certainly looked that way on the surface.
But he’s still choosing the business. As long as that exists, I’ll never be his number one choice. Nothing compares.
I stare at the glass Sterling building as we drive past, observing the way the lights hit the glass, retracing off the edges. If Nadir truly loved me, this building would belong to Taro.
I look away from the window, nausea rolling over me. That’s what drinking half a bottle of wine and being kidnapped will do to you.
“I want to see my children,” I say.
“They’re safe, don’t worry.” Nadir grips the wheel tighter.
“Like you keep saying. But how am I meant to trust anything you say when every decision you make is with the business in mind?” I slam my head back into the headrest.
The triplets will be safe. Whatever Nadir’s intentions with the kids are, good or evil, he won’t bring harm on them. It wouldn’t benefit him anyway.
Nadir glances into the rearview mirror, noting Leon in the back. “This is a conversation we need to have in private.”
I shrug. “I don’t mind having this conversation here, and I’m sure Leon doesn’t have a problem.”
I shoot Nadir a glare. Clearly, he doesn’t wanna talk about me with his business partner present. I watch him, waiting for him to clench his jaw, sharpen his tongue, and snap back at me like he did in the corridor. This time, he’s choosing to keep quiet.
He sighs as he turns the wheel, his hands brushing against the leather. God, I’d kill for him to smooth his hands over my body like that.
“I can’t hand over my business to Taro. He’s always wanted to merge and take away everything.”
“So?”
Nadir catches my attention, glancing at me sidelong with those razor-sharp eyes.
And now he has my entire soul in the palm of his hand.
“If Taro was prepared to coax you into a relationship and use you—God knows what for—imagine what else he’s capable of doing. He doesn’t play fair.”
I raise my brow. “You don’t play fair either,” I say, hinting at the conversation we had in his office. “Playing fair is how you lose. Isn’t that right?”
“And Taro will take it to the extreme.” He sighs as we make a turn at the lights. “I reached you as fast as I could. I had to save you, Jess. Especially when I found out where he was keeping you, out in the countryside in an abandoned building.”
“I have to say, I was surprised when they first drove me out there. Why base your Bratva away from everything, an hour away from the city? But I get it now.”
“What do you mean?” Leon asks.
“He was using that place to harvest and sell drugs.”
Leon nods. “Makes perfect sense.”
“He must have had big plans for his Bratva,” I say.
“Yes,” Nadir says. “Plans he didn’t have the money to pull off. I couldn’t have him turn my empire into a fucking drug cartel.” Nadir parks outside of his apartment block, glancing briefly at some of the black cars still patrolling—the guards he hired to protect me and the triplets.
“Time to shower and get some rest.” Nadir pops the car door and steps into the night, arching his hands above his head.
My eyes gravitate to his chest, where various muscles pop. The shirt he’s wearing is clad with fresh blood from when he killed Taro, and the material clings to every muscle.
“We’ll reconvene at work tomorrow and fill the rest of the team in,” Nadir says. “Leon, send the cleanup team up there now to get rid of the bodies. It’s no code one emergency, but I want the evidence gone by first light.”
“On it,” Leon says, taking out his phone to start constructing a message as we head indoors.
I walk begrudgingly behind Nadir. I’d prefer to be back at mine. Sure, my place is ten times smaller, and the electricity barely works, but anything is better than being under his roof.
Trouble is, I don’t trust myself to be alone at the moment. I’m still shaken up after being handcuffed to a stretcher.
I glare at the back of his skull as we walk through the lobby, our shoes clacking on the polished floor. He can burn in hell for using me.
But even in hell, he’d still look fucking divine.
“Jess,” Nadir says as he calls an elevator for the three of us. “I want you present in work meetings from now on.”
“Right.” I cough, almost tripping over my words from how surprised I am.
“Because I got close enough to the enemy, and now I’m exclusive enough?
” I fold my arms over my chest, shuffling into the elevator as the doors shut.
“I don’t want anything to do with the Bratva.
Or Sterling. Don’t you remember when I told you I quit? ”
“Yes, but you were drinking.”
“Sober, blackout drunk, nothing changes. I want out.”
Nadir clenches his jaw. Since he’s unable to look away from me, I turn my head and break eye contact. If he’s trying to hypnotize me into staying with those eyes, he can get lost.
I turn my back on him, my gaze fixated on the floor. My ankles are red as anything, my feet dirty from when I was dragged against my will through the grass into the hospital by Taro’s accomplice.
I wince as I massage my wrists, trying not to make a big deal of it. They’re just as red as my ankles from the cuffs that were locked around me. I’m exhausted, hurting in many different places and for many different reasons, and nursing a hangover from the wine.
I wanna be alone.
“Are you sure you want to quit, Jess?” Leon asks, breaking the tense silence. “You’re one of Sterling’s best associates. We’d hate to lose you.”
“I’m sure you would.” Sarcasm drips from my voice.
“I’m serious. We need you, and Nadir needs you even more.”
Of course he needs me. Nadir will continue to need me until it bores him. And that’s a big problem here.
I’m so obsessed with the guy that I’m willing to let him walk all over me, just for a slice of his attention. Taro’s right. I cling to breadcrumbs.
I’d let Nadir milk me dry, let him toss me away like a used washcloth once he’s had his fill. And I’d still surrender, just to savor those moments where it’s good, where I feel like a first choice.
That’s how much I’m willing to sacrifice myself for Nadir. And I can’t afford to live like that. It’s not sustainable, especially when you have three small children relying on you.
The elevator dings as we reach the correct floor. I walk out feeling sluggish, and shuffle hopelessly behind Nadir and his friend.
He holds out his hand, signaling me to wait in the doorway while he and Leon do a thorough sweep of the place, making sure there are no more intruders. The door is still unlocked from when I came back earlier.
“Did you see anything in here before when you were looking for Jess?” Leon asks.
“No,” Nadir answers. “Just the smashed bottle of wine.”
I tense. Nadir came back to check if I was here?
I stare at the unlocked door, something shifting in my stomach.
Looks like he was in a rush to find me if he forgot to do something as simple as lock a door.
This is where Nadir keeps all of his riches.
There’s a safe with God knows how much cash in it.
One of his diamond chandeliers alone could go for millions.
And he forgot to lock the door on his way out.
Stop this, Jess.
Stop looking for reasons to surrender.
“It’s safe to come in,” Nadir says, flagging me inside.
I almost trip over my own feet again as I walk in. My muscles tense, my chest tightening as I remember the moment the intruder struck.
My pulse spikes. I glance over my shoulder, expecting to see the intruder again.
“You’re safe,” Nadir says, watching me closely.
I meet his eyes briefly, then walk straight past him, beelining for the stairs. It’s a challenge to climb each one, but I grab the railing and force myself to climb. I shut my bedroom door once I’m safely inside, and disappear under my blankets, praying to get some sleep.
Tomorrow, I’ll find my children, make amends with Savannah, and get the fuck away from Nadir.