5. FIVE
FIVE
Natalia
It is a strange feeling waking in the morning in an unfamiliar house.
I blink in confusion at the off-white ceiling as I piece together the events from yesterday and the day before that led me here: failed wedding, the flight from the church, the long bus trip, the strange ride into town, and then the storm.
It feels almost like a whole lifetime has passed and I’ve woken up and today I don’t recognize myself.
I sit, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed and wondering why I don’t feel more upset. I think I’m still a little numb. It probably helps that my phone is still locked in Abuela’s cottage and I haven’t had to deal with the fallout from what happened at my not-wedding.
I shrug on a dress from my luggage and a thin cardigan. It’s not much, but it’s what I’ve got. Slipping on my flip flops and shivering in the chill morning air, I tiptoe along the corridor, not wanting to wake Colton or Jayden. But when I make my way to the kitchen, I find them both awake.
Jayden is lying on a mat beneath an animal-themed play gym, cooing at a tiny stuffed giraffe.
Colton gives me a bright smile from the kitchen and flips something over in the frying pan. “Good morning. I’m making buckwheat pancakes. Want some?”
I blink, trying to get my brain to wake up. “I didn’t know pro athletes were allowed pancakes for breakfast. I’m not a huge breakfast person, but coffee on the other hand? Coffee is life.”
Colton chuckles. “Well there’s a reason I’m making them with buckwheat and not ice cream. Hang on. I’ll fix you a coffee. How do you take it?”
He’s irrepressibly cheerful for this early in the morning.
He hands me a black coffee, and I sit at a bar stool feeling a little useless while he cooks breakfast and Jayden coos happily.
I’m low key watching his cooking skills with amazement.
I’m not even sure my papi knows how to pour his own water.
Then again, his parents moved from Michoacán when he was five, and he was raised pretty traditionally.
Eventually the caffeine kicks in and I perk up a bit. “You’re remarkably happy for someone who was woken, I’m guessing, multiple times.”
“Ha! Actually, compared to how things have been, last night was a good one. Only two wakes.”
“That’s fantastic.”
There’s a little pause while I sip my coffee and Colton flips another pancake. Then he turns back to me. “So, um… you still serious about being my stand-in nanny? For real?”
“Of course. I guess we should talk about how many hours you need me for and what the schedule looks like.”
“Absolutely, let me just…” He pulls his phone from the pocket of his gray sweatpants, drawing my eye and reminding me of what was barely contained by those sweatpants last night, as well as my reaction.
I know he caught me looking, but I couldn’t help it!
I’ve never seen a bulge that big. Just thinking about it now has me all flustered.
I force myself to look away, berating myself for being so inappropriate. He’s going to be my employer. He’s also four years younger, and no matter how friendly and charming he seems, I can guarantee he’s not interested in me like that.
I couldn’t even get my fiancé to the altar. What would a young, hot football star want with a girl like me? Especially a guy who wants a family.
Colton is looking down at his phone, scrolling to find something. In the pan, the pancake starts to smoke.
I don’t even think about it. I slide from my stool and grab the handle of the frying pan just as Colton turns and does the same, his larger hand closing over mine and bringing his front up against my back.
We both jump and drop the pan, and the smoke grows thicker. I’m about to apologize for interfering when a smoke alarm starts blaring a shrill bleeping sound and Jayden howls his displeasure.
Colton curses and switches off the stove.
I hurry over and bend to pick up Jayden, bouncing and soothing him while Colton opens the window and waves a tea towel past the alarm sensor until the bleeping finally stops.
Silence falls and I feel horribly awkward. That is, until Jayden punches a chubby fist high in the air and lets out an almighty squeal of excitement as if to say do it again!
Colton and I burst into laughter.
“I’m glad someone enjoyed that,” Colton laughs.
“I vote not to do that again.” I carry Jayden with me, balancing him easily on my lap as I return to my stool and coffee.
I love the way it feels to hold a baby, all snuggly and warm.
I’ve always felt that way. It was one of the hardest things about getting the news from the specialist. Well, that and Miguel’s reaction.
Jayden seems happy enough with his new view from my lap, looking around and chatting in baby nonsense words.
“What’s your email?” Colton asks. “I’ll send you all the stuff we prepared for the last nanny, and you can tell me if you need any adjustments. Honestly, everything is flexible except game days and training, so you name your hours and your pay.”
“Oh, I’m sure whatever you had negotiated with your previous nanny will be fine. After all, it’s only temporary, right? Oh, but my phone is locked in the house.”
Just then there’s a knock at the door.
Colton straightens. “That’ll be Leroy. Perfect timing.”
Leroy turns out to be another tall, young man with a muscular physique—though not as muscular as Colton.
He has a pair of work overalls on and carries a toolbox.
He lets himself in without waiting for Colton to come to the door and gives us both a bright smile.
“Morning! Morning, little man.” He comes over and holds out his fist to Jayden, taking the baby’s chubby hand gently and bumping Jayden’s tiny fist against his larger one.
“Hey,” he says to me. “I’m Leroy.”
I grin, accepting his handshake over Jayden’s head. “Natalia. Nice to meet you.”
“Colton says you’ve got a problem with your lock.”
“Well it’s less a problem with the lock and more a problem with me! I locked the only key I have inside last night.”
“Not to worry. I’ll have that sorted in no time. I hope you made some pancakes for me, Colton.”
Colton snorts. “They’re buckwheat and rye.”
“In that case, I’m glad you didn’t waste your time. I prefer mine with bacon and lashings of butter like a sane person.” He gives me a wink.
We follow Leroy out of the house and onto the front porch of my abuela’s cottage. It looks even worse in the daylight. A large tree has dropped several branches on the roof, and there seems to be a hole. I imagine after last night the place is in pretty rough shape.
Jayden sits happily against my chest, looking backward over my shoulder. When he grabs a fistful of my hair and burbles happily, it’s enough to melt my heart. I already know I’m going to have a tough time saying goodbye to this little cutie.
Leroy changes the locks on both doors and hands me a set of new keys.
Then he sniffs the air. “I think we’d better check out the damage.”
When we go inside it’s just as bad as I feared.
The branch came down over the living room, and the floor is wet and muddy.
What furniture there was is covered in dust and grime.
When we check the bedroom an angry opossum chatters at us before running past my feet and out the front door, making me jump and Jayden squeal with pleasure.
He wriggles as if he can run after the little critter, but I hold him tight until he settles.
We check the bedroom and my heart sinks. It smells like stale animal urine and mold. Leaves and dirt and destroyed bedding are strewn everywhere. “Looks like it wouldn’t have done me much good to get in here last night.”
Leroy rubs his chin thoughtfully. “I could get the place fixed up for you pretty quick. Most of it’s superficial damage once the roof is repaired.”
“How much will it cost?”
The price he quotes me isn’t half as much as I expected, but it’s a lump sum.
“I’ll cover it,” Colton says quietly at my elbow.
I stare at him. “You can’t do that!”
“You saved my ass last night! And you’re about to do me the biggest favor. Please let me.”
“I don’t know.”
“You should let him,” Leroy confides. “He’ll do it anyway. He’s stubborn like that. Besides, he can afford it. Big football star. Did you sign that new contract yet, man?”
Colton sighs. “I can’t do it. I’ve played for the Jacks my whole career. I can’t leave them now.”
“Yeah, but now you’ve got a family to think about.”
Colton’s mouth twists into an unhappy frown. “I know.”
Somewhat reluctantly, Colton agrees to take the money out of my pay. I’m not sure I’ll be his nanny long enough to earn that much, but he just says he’ll have to increase the rate. I should feel worse about that, but the truth is, I don’t have a lot of options.
Leroy agrees to begin work as soon as possible. Until then, I’ll be staying with Colton.
I feel a little excited to spend more time in his company. I try not to question that feeling too much, since it’s probably just some kind of reaction to Miguel’s rejection. I mean I’m definitely not going there, even if Colton wanted to.
Which he doesn’t.
I’m just searching for comfort after feeling rejected. This silly little feeling will pass. I tell myself that as we head back into the house and I hand over Jayden so I can take a quick shower.
After my shower, I can hear Leroy and Colton in the living room with Jayden, and I decide it’s time to face my phone. My veins seem to tingle as I switch the setting off Airplane Mode and get this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
There’s a moment where nothing happens, a silence, as if I’ve dropped off the edge of a cliff and am hovering there waiting for gravity to catch up with me. Then the phone starts vibrating with messages and missed calls. So many notifications I can’t take them all in.
My hand is shaking so much I drop the phone onto the bed and I have to reach up to cover my lips with the press of my fingertips just to ground myself.
I don’t want to do this.