5. FIVE #2
Then a message from Elisa pops up: Hey, I’m worried about you. Pls call me.
Oh god, I’m being so irresponsible. Of course she was worried.
I dial her number on the verge of tears.
I hear it in her voice the moment she answers; in the unsteady tone before she gets herself under control. “Prima! Are you trying to give us all a heart attack? Dios, are you OK? Tell me you’re not lying under some bush on the highway.”
“I’m so sorry, Lis. I’m safe. I promise. I made it to Mosswood. It’s uh… it’s a little different than I was expecting.”
“Then why didn’t you answer my calls and messages?”
“I couldn’t. I’ve had my phone in Airplane Mode this whole time. What if he called me? What if he didn’t? I don’t know which is worse. And I can’t talk to my parents right now. They’ll be so angry.”
Elisa scoffs. “Better to let them be angry with the real asshole here—Miguel.”
I make a non-committal noise. “I’m sure he had his reasons.
” I’m sure I know what his reason was, but I’m not ready to talk about that.
I hadn’t told anyone in my family that we’d been trying for a baby.
My parents are still pretty traditional, and they prefer to think of me as a virgin still, even though Miguel and I have lived together for nearly five years.
They would tell me my diagnosis is god’s way of punishing me for moving in with a man I wasn’t married to yet.
“Chiquita, you’re perfect. He could have no reason not to marry you. Now tell me what I should tell everyone. Can I tell them where you are? Should I lie?”
I chew my lip. I don’t want my parents to worry, but I don’t want them to come to Mosswood to find me either.
No chance any of my three little brothers would do that, but they might crack under pressure and tell Mom where to find me.
“Can you just tell them I’m safe and I’m not ready to talk about it yet? ”
“Of course. Do you need anything else? You want me to get my brothers to go get your stuff?”
“No. I’m not ready to think about that yet. I need a little more time.”
“You got it.”
“Thanks.”
“Hey, Natalia?”
“Hmmm?”
“What’s Mosswood like?”
“As far as I can tell it’s a lovely little place.” I lower my voice, unsure if I’ll offend Colton and Leroy. “It’s just that the people here are all monsters.”
“Come again.”
“Monsters. You know, like werewolves and other sorts of animal shifters?”
“Oh my god. Does that mean Abuela was a monster? I always knew that woman had secrets.”
“That’s just what I wondered. I don’t know if there’s any way to find out, though.”
“Girl, I’m totally coming up there when I get back and we’re going through her shit.”
I laugh. “Haha yeah. How’s the resort?”
She makes a dreamy noise. “It’s beautiful. I can’t believe I’m here, you know? It’s like being in a dream. I owe you big time.”
“No. I’m glad you’re enjoying it.” I sigh, but it would only have made me miserable to go without Miguel. “Hey, you’d better wait a while before you come to Mosswood. Abuela’s place is a bit of a mess.”
“How bad?”
“Pretty bad. But don’t worry. I’ve got a nice neighbor looking out for me. He actually let me stay with him last night—”
“He? Oooooh tell me everything!”
“Lis! I’m still heartbroken, remember?”
She snorts. “Please. Miguel doesn’t deserve more than thirty seconds of mourning. You are better off without him. Now tell me about this vesino.”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“Excuse me. Don’t lie to me.”
I lower my voice, hoping like hell they can’t hear me from the kitchen. “Well, there might be a little something.” Little is hardly the word for it. I have to smother a laugh at my rude thoughts.
“Natalia, you have to spill the tea! Did you sleep with him?”
“No, nothing like that. I just got a little glimpse. You know, catching print? Safe to say he puts every other man I’ve ever seen to shame.”
“Oh my god! Hurry up and get the house fixed so I can come up there. You can’t be having all the fun!”
I laugh, already feeling better. Elisa’s only teasing. I know that.
I will have to do a better job of keeping my mind on the job and not on my new, temporary employer with the soulful brown eyes and broad shoulders.
I hang up the call, and feeling brave, I dig through my notifications. There are five calls from my father, twenty from Elisa, a message from my boss, and a bill, there is not a single message or phone call from Miguel.
I guess he really did mean it’s over. Just like that. As if we haven’t been together for six years.
I sit on the bed for a long time, just staring at the wall.
Then baby laughter drags me back to the present and I wipe my face.
I can’t be sitting around in Colton’s guestroom crying all day!
He’s got training and an interview with a new nanny, and I promised to watch Jayden.
I put my phone on charge, slip on my sneakers, and then catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the wardrobe door as I go to leave the room.
In the reflection, dark circles have settled beneath my eyes, and my ordinarily warm brown skin looks somehow faded.
I draw in a deep breath and let it out, fixing my reflection with a resolute stare.
“I am not going to let this get me down. I am not.” If I say it enough times, maybe eventually I’ll believe it.