Chapter 7
A ndy asked me to meet him for lunch and I agreed.
Honestly, it was nice going out with a man that took the initiative.
I didn’t have to make the plan or decide where we were going to go.
He’d taken care of everything, including the bill, and that felt…
nice. Houston had planned dates for us three times over the course of ten and a half months—for my birthday, for Valentine’s Day, and after the TikTok situation.
Other than that, when we went out, it was either random because we were together and were hungry and bored or because I planned the date.
We were done eating, but it seemed neither of us was in a rush to leave. I asked Andy to tell me about his girl, and I swooned hearing a Black man talk about his woman so fiercely. So lovingly.
“Do you think she’s the one?” I asked before sipping my tequila sunrise.
“I think so, Presly. Nah, I know so. I think I’m just… nervous to acknowledge that.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know if I’m ready for marriage and children yet, but that’s the future I want to have with her.”
“Well there’s no rush, right? I mean… the two of you have only been dating for six months. Is she pressuring you to propose or something?”
“Nah.” He chuckled and tightened his grip on his beer. “The anxiety over proposing is coming from me. I don’t want to lose her.”
“Aww that’s sweet. The fact that you even think that’s an option while things are good between the two of you says a lot.
You won’t lose her, Andy. She sounds like a great girl, a smart girl, and if she is, she won’t let you go easily.
Take your time and continue to nurture that seed of love. It’ll bloom in due time.”
“Thank you, Pres,” he muttered, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. “What’s up with you and your man? Are things better between the two of you?”
“Why do you think things were bad?” I asked with a curious smile.
“The fact that I had to pull up on you a few weeks ago said a lot. No disrespect, but he should have been handling that. I didn’t mind because you’re my girl and you deserve to have whatever you want, but if another man had to give my woman something she needed that I could have provided, I’d feel some type of way. ”
“Yeah, well…” I shrugged and tried to keep my smile from wavering, but it didn’t really work. “Houston doesn’t really… he’s not like you, Andy.”
“Considerate? Caring?” Confusion covered his face before he laughed. “The amount of pain my woman be in during that time of the month… she can have whatever she wants.”
“Houston says it makes me moody, so he keeps his distance.”
“Nah, fuck that. That’s an excuse. If he can’t be around you during that time of the month, imagine how he would act if you were dealing with some real life shit and was struggling with your emotions.
Or hell, if you were to get pregnant. Would you be moody then?
I’on like that, Pres. You need to let that nigga go. ”
“I thought about that, but I felt like I was overreacting.”
“You’re not overreacting. That’s your intuition trying to warn you.
If a man can’t handle your emotions for something as simple as that, that’s a red flag.
Don’t ignore it and find yourself in a position where you need a dependable partner, someone who can be a safe space for you emotionally, and realize he isn’t capable of being one. ”
He paused, eyes shifting before he added, “When your boundaries are being tried, you’ll feel like the bad guy.
You’ll try and convince yourself you’re wrong or overreacting just to keep things as they are.
You’re going to keep having problems and being hurt with no peace until you leave a relationship God didn’t intend for you to be in.
No one can make you leave until you’re ready though.
I just want you to know you ain’t wrong. ”
When I agreed to have lunch with Andy, I certainly wasn’t expecting him to give me something to think about.
Even without the whole emotional availability thing, I kept making excuses to stay with Houston just because I was used to him.
I kept justifying the disconnect because he was a good guy.
My sister was right; he wasn’t the good guy for me.
As much as I didn’t want to end things between us, I had to acknowledge the fact that there was no future between us.
And if that was the case, why was I continuing to waste my time?