Chapter 8
“ C an we talk?”
“Oh shit. What I do now?”
Though Houston’s question made me giggle, I didn’t want it to distract me.
I decided to talk to him instead of just cutting things off.
Three days had passed since the situation at his mama’s house and my talk with Andy.
I felt like I owed it to him to at least be completely honest about how I’d been feeling lately.
Maybe I had a need that he was unaware of and could provide.
But if he felt like I was asking for something that he couldn’t give, things would end between us tonight.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Houston,” I wanted to make clear. I stood and sat on his lap as he got comfortable on the couch. “The fact that you think that is another reason we need to have this conversation.”
“What’s on your mind?”
“I feel like I’m always coming out of character because of something you did or didn’t do, and that’s not fair to me or you.
There’s also the issue with your mom and the fact that we aren’t in a committed relationship.
It just feels like we deal with a lot to be with each other and I’m not exactly sure why.
Things used to be fun, and we never had any issues.
I want it to go back to that, or I think we need to stop talking. ”
“Being real, sometimes I feel like I can’t meet your expectations. I’m not used to a woman demanding things from me. When they have in the past, if I didn’t want to do it, I left them alone. It’s different with you. I don’t want to stop talking to you. I actually want to be with you.”
“Then why haven’t you committed to me? You make it seem like you don’t want to let me go, but you don’t value me enough to commit to me.”
“It’s not that I don’t value you. I just… don’t want us to commit and then fuck things up. I don’t want to meet someone else and then cheat. I’m not saying I’m fucking off now. I’m just saying. Things get messy when you get into a committed relationship, and I like how things are now.”
“Well I don’t,” I admitted quickly. “I’m not trying to change you, but you’re just not the man I thought you were. And maybe that’s my fault because I expect more from you since we’ve been dealing with each other for so long.”
“Is this still about them damn tacos?”
Between the question and his serious expression I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Not necessarily. That moment did show me that I can’t depend on you and that you don’t consider me and take care of me the way I take care of you.
But even after that, with you purposely not talking to me for a week because I was on my period.
“Like… I won’t deny that time of the month makes me a little emotional but not enough for you to completely ghost me.
If anything, that time makes me feel like I need you more and you abandoned me.
I know that’s not your intention but that’s how it feels, and I’m tired of dealing with things I don’t like and stuffing them down to avoid arguing with you or hurting your feelings because you aren’t intentionally trying to hurt mine.
Whether it’s intentional or not, it still hurts, and I’m tired of dealing with it. ”
He didn’t respond right away. The longer I waited, the more I expected him to disagree. It completely caught me off guard when he said, “If I ain’t giving you what you want and need, it ain’t fair of me to hold on to you, but I want to hold on to you.”
“Houston, please…”
“I’m selfish, I know that. I wish I could change overnight but it’s not easy. I want to treat you the way you deserve, Pres. I don’t want to lose you. Just be patient with me.”
“How much time do you need?” I asked, voice full of distress. “It’s simple shit but it adds up, Houston. I can’t teach you how not to be selfish. Your mama should’ve done that. Hell, she’s the reason you’re like this now.”
“Don’t bring my mama into this.”
“Oh, now you don’t wanna talk about your mama because I brought her up? Any other time she’s your favorite excuse.”
Houston pushed me off his lap and sat up on the couch. “I can talk about her, but you can’t.”
My laugh was quiet as I shook my head sighed. “This is a waste of time,” I decided.
“Just give us one last chance. I’ll plan a weekend for us and—”
“Houston, no.” Gripping his hands, I decided to stand firm. “As much as I like you, we’re just not going to work. We have different values and principles. Maybe we can be friends, but I can’t date you anymore. I’m sorry.”
“Just give me one more chance, bae. One last chance to show you I can put you first. That I can be there for you emotionally and take care of you the way you take care of me. I’ll even get my mama to apologize for ignoring you.
” When I didn’t respond right away, he spread my legs and made his way between them on his knees.
“Please,” he whispered, lifting my gown and putting my thighs on his shoulders.
“I ain’t letting you go,” he declared into my pussy before slurping my clit into his mouth, and that was all it took for me to agree to whatever he had in store for me.