Chapter 9
S even Months Later
December
“I’m telling you, sis. I got the perfect man for you. You would love him. He’s gonna be at the wedding, so you might as well start getting to know him now.”
Though I shook my head at my future brother-in-law’s offer, I couldn’t help but smile.
Jason had been trying his hardest to hook me up with one of his friends ever since Houston and I made things official.
He’d never outright said he didn’t like Houston for me, but it was clear Jason and my sister believed I could do better.
My parents respected the fact that I could make my own choices, so as long as they didn’t believe I was being used or abused they let me navigate my dating life on my own.
But the second I went to them for advice, they wasted no time letting me know how they truly felt, and I respected that.
“I’m good, bro. I’m in a relationship, you know that.”
“Does your man? Because he don’t be acting like it,” Paisley said, linking her arm around mine. “You should come out with us tonight and meet Jason’s two best friends, Sissy. They came all the way from LA to be with us. I want you there too.”
“I appreciate the invitation, but I can’t, babe. I’ll meet them at the wedding.”
“Ugh.” She groaned and pouted, and usually that would be enough to give her whatever she wanted, but it wouldn’t work this time. It was me and Houston’s date night, and since we hadn’t gone out all month, I wasn’t going to miss my chance to spend time with him.
Things had progressed between us after he asked me to be his woman, but they kind of fizzled out.
We were good for about ninety days before I ended the relationship.
Apparently, Houston the boyfriend was different from Houston the guy I was dating, and I preferred the version of him I had when we first started dating.
I didn’t tell my sister or my parents that I’d broken up with him because they stopped being so hard on me about cutting him off and I wanted it to stay that way.
If they knew we were no longer together, they’d try to convince me to end things completely, and I wasn’t ready for that yet.
Now, Houston and I only talked when we went out, and we only went out when we wanted companionship or to have sex.
The new arrangement worked, and it kept me from having to find a new partner.
It wasn’t the romantic relationship I believed would lead to marriage and kids, but it left me satisfied sexually, and for now, that was enough.
“Well at least come with us to LA and celebrate your birthday there next weekend. Has he even mentioned taking you out?”
“We said we’d talk about my birthday tonight, so I’ll let you know tomorrow.”
“Okay, cool.”
We talked for a little while longer before I left her place. I knew she wanted to enjoy as much time with Jason as she could before he went back home Monday.
Later that Night
My date with Houston was cool, other than the fact that he kept getting calls and texts from his mom.
She was the reason we’d broken up. Gina played nice for about two months, and I believed it was because she didn’t want Houston to be mad at her for disrespecting me.
That changed when we tried to host Fourth of July at my complex because we were having a fireworks showcase.
She had a fit about not being able to do it at her house and accused me of trying to ruin their traditions and come between them.
At that point, I made it clear that I wanted nothing to do with her ass, which led to me and Houston arguing.
I broke up with him that night, but we established different boundaries in our relationship.
Us only talking in person for dates and sex had definitely taken the stressors away from our situation.
We took turns planning the dates, and I was content with what we had.
Tonight, it was his turn to make the plans, and he’d done a really good job.
He catered to both of our interests. We went to a candle making class for me, then he took me to get new perfume from Ceed and some Dubai chocolate and strawberries from this chocolate shop in Southaven.
After that, we went to see the Grizzlies play.
We walked hand in hand back to his car, and the smile that spread my lips was genuine. I knew our arrangement would be weird if my family and friends found out, but I didn’t care. It worked for us, and that was what mattered most.
Houston waited until we were settled in the car and pulling out of the lot to ask, “What are you doing for your birthday, bae?”
“I’m not sure. Autumn and Andy wanna take me out here, but Paisley wants me to come to LA. Of course my parents want to do a family dinner. I wanted to talk to you first though and see if you wanted to do something.”
His head shook as he looked over at me briefly. “You know you and Ma birthday three days apart.” I paused, unsure of where he was going with that. “Since her birthday is on a weekday, she wants to do something the weekend before, so she won’t be too tired to enjoy herself.”
“Oh, okay. So what does she have planned?”
“Well… she wants me to barbecue for her and the family Saturday. I’ma go to church with her Sunday and take her to lunch and shopping afterward. So I can take you somewhere for your birthday Friday or Monday if that’s cool.”
Nibbling my cheek, I cautioned myself. Maybe he had his days mixed up and didn’t realize what day my birthday was.
“My birthday is Saturday,” I reminded him.
“Yeah, I know. But she wants to do something Saturday since she has to work Tuesday.”
“She works a morning shift, Houston. What does that have to do with me?”
“Yeah, but she’ll be tired when she gets off, plus she’ll have to go to sleep earlier for the next day.”
“Then take her to do something Friday or Sunday. I’m not understanding why you have to celebrate her birthday early on my actual birthday. How does that make sense?”
He shrugged as his grip tightened on the steering wheel. “That’s what she wants so…” He shrugged again.
“And that’s all you care about, right? You don’t give a fuck about what I want. Just her.”
“ Please don’t start this shit, bae. We’ve been doing good.”
“You’re right.” I laughed and clapped my hands as my legs shook, trying to keep myself calm, but I felt like I was finally at my breaking point.
“We have been doing good. You don’t find it odd that the only time we argue now is because of your mother?
She knows my birthday is Saturday. Are you that damn blind that you can’t see what she’s trying to do? ”
“Look, that’s my mama, aight? She ain’t got no husband or no other kids so it’s my responsibility to take care of her—”
“I’m not asking you not to take care of her, but the relationship y’all have is unhealthy.
You’re her son, not her husband. I’m not asking you to put me above her.
All I’ve ever asked was for you to make me a priority and give me a proper place in your life.
How do you think it’s fair for you to spend my birthday with your mama or anyone else for that matter? ”
“If it’s that big of a deal, why don’t you just come to the barbecue?”
I laughed again as my heart palpitated. “You know what, Houston? Pull the car over.”
“What?”
“Let me out of this damn car. Now!”
“Hell nah. I brought you here, so I’ma take you home. We need to finish this conversation anyway.”
I said nothing else for the twenty minute drive home.
During that time, my mind replayed every situation where I quieted or denied myself for this man.
For this toxic ass relationship. Silent tears spilled down my cheeks, but they weren’t sad tears.
They were purging me and healing the cracks in my heart that had come from the neglect it had sustained over the last year and five months.
When he pulled into the visitor’s parking lot, I told him not to even cut the car off.
“So you don’t want to talk?” he confirmed, to which I shook my head and wiped my face.
“No, I don’t. I’ve made it as convenient and easy as I could for you to treat me right and love me, and the more empathy I show you, the more you trample on my boundaries.
I can’t keep doing that to myself. It’s clear you care far more about being a good son than a good boyfriend, and since you can’t do both, we’re done—for real this time. ”
I opened the door as he called my name, but I ignored him. When he grabbed my arm, I jerked away from him.
“Leave me alone , Houston,” I pleaded, too tired to even be mad. Too used to this bullshit to even be surprised.
“So you’re cutting me off because I’m trying to do something nice for my mama?”
A brief, quiet laugh escaped me as I finally realized this man was almost incapable of taking accountability unless it benefited him to do so.
“If that’s what you want to tell yourself, Houston, fine. Just leave me alone.” As I walked away, I tossed over my shoulder, “Tell your mama she wins.”
A bitter smile lifted the left side of my mouth as a weight lifted from my shoulders. I thought other women were the biggest issue I’d face with Houston. I was wrong. It was his mother.
Once I made it inside my building, I had my elevator passcode changed and Houston’s access revoked. I blocked his number and social media profiles once I settled into bed. This time… we were really over… and as hard as I’d tried, I was at peace with that.