27. Verona
27
VERONA
O ver the next several weeks, we licked our wounds and cleaned up. They released Hollywood from the hospital and he moved in with me so I could take care of him while he healed. He’d been shot three times before, so he figured it was like riding a bike.
We buried our fallen Roses in the same cemetery where we’d buried Trojan and Alba’s mother, Penny. I sat in the seat next to my brothers, rubbing the scar on my chest while Saint led us through a few prayers, reminding us those we lost would always be with us in spirit, if not in person. Rather than having separate funerals for each member, we did one memorial service for everyone we lost that day, preferring to rip the bandage off all at once so we could start to heal.
I looked down the row at Slip’s old lady, Scribe, who sat stone-faced through the whole thing like she’d shut down her feelings when she heard the news and hadn’t allowed herself to turn them back on yet. Next to her sat Shonda, Picasso’s wife. Their daughter, Jinx, was only fourteen, and she hadn’t stopped crying since the service started.
I remembered being younger than her when I sat in this very same cemetery to bury my mother. She’d died in the same car bombing that killed KC and Selene’s parents, my aunt and uncle. Clenching my eyes shut, I tried to remember what my mother looked like or what her voice sounded like. When I couldn’t, I wondered if the same thing would happen to Jinx. Would she wake up one day, unable to recall the sound of her father’s voice or the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed? She was too young to go through something so horrific.
“Hollywood, you wanted to say a few words.” Saint nodded to my boyfriend, who stood and walked up to the podium. He still struggled to take a deep breath when his emotions overwhelmed him, but compared to the dying man we’d taken into the hospital that day, he had almost made a complete recovery.
He glanced down at his index cards before looking back up at the gathered crowd. Everyone from the MC had made it in for the funeral, everyone who could anyway. What a fucking tragedy my father couldn’t be here. What fucking monster would keep someone away from their family at a time like this? But the Feds hadn’t authorized an excursion for him while he was still pending trial, and so he’d have to mourn his fallen blood brothers from the hellhole of a prison cell.
“There’s a lot of people here.” Hollywood forced a tight smile. “I hope I don’t fuck this up.” A few snickers came from the crowd, typical Hollywood making everyone smile before he started. Then, he cleared his throat and glanced down at his index cards. “I once knew a man who told me that family wasn’t about the blood that ran through your veins. It wasn’t about a name given to you, and it wasn’t about the people on your birth certificate.” Hollywood met my gaze when he said the next part. “It’s about the people who love you when you don’t love yourself.”
Tears burned my eyes, dripping over my cheeks in thick drops I didn’t bother trying to hide. A heavy weight swelled in my gut, permeating up to my lungs and making it hard to breathe.
“Scribe and Shonda, I never knew two greater men than Slip and Picasso. When I first met Slip, he taught me how to drive a manual transmission. He was the first person to teach me about engines and how to tear one apart. Picasso showed me how to appreciate art in life, how to find beauty in even the smallest of things. Coins treated everyone he met like his own child, like he was making up for the fact he didn’t have any of his own by surrounding himself with adopted ones. It was a kindness so few people ever showed me.”
He glanced at a few members in the back, clearing his throat before continuing. “I wasn’t close with Skulls, but we were sworn to the same family, made the same oaths, protected the same people.” Hollywood shook his head and brushed a finger under his eyes. “In many ways, they were more my family than my own parents ever were, and for that, I can never repay them for their sacrifice.”
He paused to glance at Scribe, Shonda, and Jinx. “When I lost my brother a year ago, Slip told me the people we love, the people we call family, they’re never really gone. Having almost died a few times myself, I can tell you with absolute certainty they are waiting for us on the other side of whatever this life is.”
I tried to stop the stream of emotion pouring over my cheeks, but wiping the tears did nothing to stop it. I had to let it come, I had to let it be free.
“And one day,” he went on, “when the time is right ... really right ... we’ll see them again. Until then, I believe that our fallen brothers are looking out for us. Whatever this life brings, I know we can face it together, as a family, with our loved ones guiding us however they can.”
He turned to the urns behind him, each carrying one of our deceased family with their names etched on the side. “Brothers, I salute you. Until we meet again, may you rest in peace and may your soul ride free.”
“May your soul ride free,” the rest of the crowd echoed.
Hollywood stepped down and everyone clapped while he took his spot behind me, reaching over the chair to grab my shoulder in solidarity. Saint brought the proceedings to a close before the cemetery attendants came to gather the urns and place them inside the headstones. The rest of the MC headed back to Bear’s house for the wake, but I had another stop to make before I left.
Meandering through the cemetery, I walked along the path that led me to a spot I hadn’t visited since I was a girl.
Edith Scott Montgomery
Adored wife, loving mother, doting friend
I bit back a sardonic snort at how her entire forty years of life had been boiled down to six words. She was so much more than that, so much more than I remembered. I kneeled so I could clear away the dead pine needles and mud gathering at the base of her grave marker.
“Hey, Mom,” I said, choking down a sob as it threatened to barrel out of my mouth. “I’m sorry I haven’t been to visit. I’ve been trying to take care of our boys the way I promised I would.”
A chill blew around me, April’s last fight against the impending spring, and I hugged my coat tighter against my body, praying for the strength to say what I needed to get out.
“I hope Hollywood is right. I hope you’re waiting for us to greet you when the time is right. I hope you found our family and you’re holding them close on the other side.” I shook my head and dug my palms into my eyes as my heart shattered in my chest. My scar throbbed, aching painfully the more I berated myself for the horrible things that had happened to me, the horrible things I’d done to myself.
“She’d be proud of you, ya know,” came a voice from behind me. I startled and turned to see Selene holding hands with Ru. They must have followed me here after things ended at the memorial. “And she wouldn’t blame you for any of this.”
“I could have done something,” I said, pushing to my feet. “Instead, I just watched while she killed them.”
Ru’s features cracked, and she rushed forward to wrap her arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug while I sobbed.
“We were all there that day,” Ru said, rubbing my back. “It’s okay.”
“We all could have done something,” Selene said, shaking her head while she stared down at the headstone. “You know my parents are over there.” She nodded to the right where another Montgomery headstone stood out against the gloomy winter morning. “I was the reason they were in Annapolis that day.”
She’d told me that before, but I’d never believed Selene had been responsible for their deaths. It had been the Caputis that bombed the car containing our parents.
“I blamed myself for so long,” Selene said, making me wince.
“Sel—” I started.
But Selene took a deep breath and straightened to look at me. “Horrible things happen, V, especially in this life we’ve chosen to live. We can’t control those things, only how we react to them.”
“You’re too smart for your own good.” I rubbed at my scar again, grimacing as the pain radiated down my stomach and up my neck.
“We share this burden with you,” Selene added, grabbing my other hand. “When we get through it together, we’ll share the victory with you, too.”
Ever since I was a kid, I had cherished the friendship of these two women. I had run away after high school, hoping to escape this life, but now that I’d returned, I couldn’t imagine it without them. We were the women of the Steel Roses, and we were indomitable. Our strength came from our empathy. We were the heartbeat of this family, and we fucking knew it.
Together, we would find Gabriella Caputi. We would dismantle her empire from the inside out, just like my father had wanted us to do, and we would make sure she suffered for what she’d taken from us. Until then, we would support each other and hold each other up.
That was what separated us from the Caputis. They relied on blood, on outdated ideas about what made a real family. But we were loyal to the ones who’d proved themselves, and as long as we still had that, we would make it through this hell together.
* * *
“The Hell’s Knights won’t stop coming for us,” Dad said. “The motherfucker I killed was a snitch piece of shit, but he had three brothers I’m aware of. Crank won’t be the last.”
“My camming days are done.” I winced as I said it, but it was true. Yeah, I was good at what I did and I made decent money, but in the days since I’d been sold to the Hell’s Knights, only to be rescued by my lover and my brothers, the Beacon had reopened. I had my general manager spot back, not to mention the shows Hollywood and I could put on during the weekends. I figured going straight edge would make things a lot easier on me and my family, at least when it came to vetting the people in my life.
“Bear tells me you’re seeing Hollywood,” Dad said from behind the double-paned glass. He looked even worse than the last time I saw him. Big, dark bags hung under his eyes, more pronounced in the month he’d been behind bars, and he’d cut his hair short, damn near a buzz cut compared to the chest-length waves I’d grown used to. I’d tried to get here sooner than this, but the Feds wouldn’t allow anyone except for his lawyer to visit.
“I am,” I said, clearing my throat as I adjusted myself in the seat. “Is that a problem?”
Dad shook his head and sighed. “No, I guess I shoulda seen that coming.”
“What?” I narrowed my eyes, scrunching my nose at his nonchalance. “Where’s all that male bravado? No one touches my daughter!”
He smiled at my horrible impression of him. “I taught you better than that. If he made it past you and your brothers, I figure he’s sticking around.”
It had been almost twelve weeks since we’d started dating, and I didn’t see any end in sight for this beautiful relationship that had sparked between us.
“I think I’m going to marry him one day,” I said. “For real ... not like whatever’s going on with Bear and that Caputi bit?—”
“Hey,” Dad cut in. “Your brother’s doing what he needs to do for the club.”
My cheeks burned, but I gave him a firm nod.
“Besides, don’t talk about any of that shit here,” he said. “They’re recording me. They’re always recording me, waiting for me to screw up so they can use it against me.”
I let out a sigh. “Detective Jordan’s still up your ass, huh?”
Dad nodded and gave me a look that said I needed to keep my wits about me. “She’s up yours, too. So watch out. She’s relentless. If she wasn’t trying to keep me in here for the rest of my life, I might admire the poisonous cunt.”
“I tried to get Castor and Pollux to come with me,” I said. “But they’ve been busy trying to find the bitch who killed our family.”
“Listen to me, V,” Dad said, leaning in closer and holding the telephone tighter to his head. “Things are about to get real sticky for Bear and the Roses. You need to be there for him, understand? You need to help him through this and make sure he keeps his head on straight. You know what I mean?”
After Dad and Aris had been taken into custody, the MC had elected Bear and KC to replace them. Hollywood had been named the new road captain, at least until Dad could get out to deal with this himself. But I knew my brother, and I knew what my dad meant by making sure he kept his head on straight.
While Bear had inherited the cool and collected side of our mother’s personality, he had also inherited the Montgomery temper. It took a lot to get my brother pissed off, but once he hit that limit, he’d been known to go on a rampage that only KC, me, or my dad could calm. If he wasn’t careful about this next move with Julia Caputi, the entire house of cards could come crumbling down around him.
“Yeah, I know what you mean.” I held a hand up to the glass, blinking back tears when Dad did the same on the other side.
“I love you, kiddo,” he said.
“Love you, too.” I begrudgingly hung up the phone and left him there, praying he held out until the next time I could see him.
Hollywood was waiting for me out in the parking lot. It was a nice day, so we’d driven his bike up here, and now he leaned up against it while he smoked a cigarette, looking like some contemporary James Dean. Heat snaked into my lower gut, and I grinned as I leaned up to wrap my arms around his neck.
“How’s Pops?” He stabbed the butt into the ashtray on top of a trash can and kissed me, pressing his forehead against mine.
“Pissed off and plotting.” I hated seeing him in the pen, but until this shit with Detective Jordan got worked out, I didn’t know how we’d get him out of it.
“So, the usual.” Hollywood kissed me again before handing me my helmet so I could tug it over my head and climb on the back of his bike. He put the key in the ignition and kicked it to life, sitting back so I could circle my arms around him before taking off.
I’d grown up in an MC and all my brothers were bikers, so I’d been riding on the back of these monstrosities since I was a child. But nothing and no one made me feel as safe as I did when I was on the back of his bike, holding onto him.
If anyone had asked me a year ago whether I’d ever say that about Hollywood, of all people, I would have laughed in their face. Hollywood and I were seemingly opposites in just about every way. Where he had a smile for everyone and a joke poised on his tongue at any given moment, I’d much rather cut them down to size with the truth. I used to think it wasn’t a good day unless I’d made someone cry. Now, I understood how we brought out the better side of each other. I made him give a shit about himself, and he reminded me that not all people were idiots, that being authentic didn’t necessarily mean speaking my mind all the time.
He protected me, and in many ways, I protected him. I trusted him, and that was more than I could say about anyone else, save for my brothers. We needed each other more than either of us would admit.
I thought about Ru’s question all those weeks ago.
“Do you believe in soulmates?”
At the time, I didn’t know. I’d said yes because I wanted to believe. Now, I did. Perhaps it was a blood bond that brought me and him together, created when we were in high school and sealed when he’d risked his life for me. Perhaps it was our spirits that had recognized their twin in one another. Whatever it was, Hollywood was it for me. That was all I needed to know to finally be optimistic about my future here and my family’s place in it.