Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Hannah hummed softly along to the Christmas music playing out of the speaker in her living room, as she hung another bulb on the tree.
All of her gram's antique Christmas decorations had been in the attic, and she'd been slowly bringing them down and putting them up in her spare time.
Outside, a few stray snow flurries fell past the front porch light, as the lights twinkled in her living room and the scent of her Cowboy Butter Meatloaf hung in the air.
It had been one of her grandma’s cherished recipes and, while Hannah’s didn’t taste exactly like she remembered, it had been pretty good.
Her tree was almost completely done, decked the way her grandma always had it, and it fit perfectly with her memories.
She smiled, glancing over at the Christmas town sitting on the buffet, which had been her favorite decoration of all time when she was younger.
In her memories, it was sparkling and beautiful and very valuable, but in reality, as she looked at it through the eyes of an adult, the sparkly ice was just aluminum foil, the figures in the town were plastic and probably cheap.
But the warmth that it exuded, the glow of the lights in each tiny house, the snow-covered trees, and the little hill where one figure raced down on a toboggan still gave the warmth and charm of a small-town Christmas the way it had in her youth.
She stepped back, reaching for her hot chocolate and taking a small sip, savoring the sweet goodness as she studied the tree with approval.
Her gram would have been proud of her. She couldn't have done it better.
As "Deck the Halls" stopped playing and there was a pause between songs, she could hear the faint sound of a chainsaw.
Glancing at her watch, she saw it was almost nine o'clock and had been dark for several hours. But Ben and Mason were still down by the river, working with the lights from his truck headlights, she assumed.
The two had been at it every night that week except for one, which Hannah had learned the next day had been the night that Ben had needed to work late.
She was glad that she had been able to offer him something that he had been able to do with Mason, and Mason, for his part, had come into the medical center every afternoon full of things to talk about that he and his dad had been doing, the creation of a fishing spot on the river being the most exciting.
Although Mason had definitely enjoyed his time at the medical center and did every task he was given with an intensity that reminded her of his father.
Ben.
She smiled a little, thinking about their meeting earlier in the week and the few times that she'd seen him picking Mason up from the medical center.
It wasn't that far, and Mason could walk, and Mason had mentioned to her that he wasn't sure why his dad insisted on picking him up.
There was a part of her that hoped that Ben was doing it because he wanted to see her. Of course, that was a silly thought a schoolgirl might have, but she couldn't mature past them.
Because she hoped that Ben would come pick Mason up so that she could have a glimpse of Ben.
She hummed along with the melody to "O Little Town of Bethlehem" while she set the chocolate down and tidied up the boxes. She hadn't really thought about what a huge house this was and how one person kind of rattled around in it and how her grandma maybe had felt lonely at times.
Maybe her coming to stay with her grandma during the summers had been just as much of a joy to her as it had been to Hannah.
If her gram had said so, she didn't remember. All she remembered was that her grandma always looked happy to see her and always made her feel like she was wanted and loved.
Maybe when she had the house decorated, she would get out her grandma's old Christmas recipes and see if she could re-create some more of the things she remembered eating as a child and loving since the meatloaf had turned out so well. Things that made the holidays seem more like a holiday.
Of course, that was assuming she was going to have time, with getting ready for the Mistletoe Christmas Festival and doing some double duty at the medical center as Terry's time drew near.
She started thinking about children and work at the medical center and recipes and was surprised by a thump on her back porch.
What could that be? she thought to herself as she paused for a moment, then hurried to the door. She needed to get a dog. She was far enough out that it might be a good idea. She didn't want to do it around the holidays, though, but she made a note to think about it in the spring.
Glancing at the corner where an umbrella sat leaning against the wall, she decided she would use that as a weapon if she needed it as she opened the door and glanced out the crack before opening it wider.
"Ben?" she asked, surprised to see him standing on her porch, Mason beside him, grinning from ear to ear.
"We brought you some firewood. Dad said you didn't want to have a fire by yourself, but he also said that you didn't say you didn't want a fire at all, so he said we should stack some up on your porch."
"I know we kind of talked about it, and if you don't want it, we can take it back." Ben shifted uneasily on his feet, and she shook her head with a smile.
"Oh, it's fine. A fire would be perfect, and maybe there'll be a reason to have one; now I don't have an excuse not to." She glanced from Mason to Ben. "You guys can come on in, and I'll give you some hot chocolate."
"Maybe when we're done. We have enough firewood to make about three more trips each," Ben said, his brows raised as though asking if she wanted that much.
"That would probably be more than enough for me for the year and then some."
"Sounds good. Anything else we get, we'll make sure we give away to someone else."
"All right." She lifted her brows. "Twenty minutes? And I'll have hot chocolate waiting for you.” She paused. “I have some cowboy butter meatloaf left from supper that I could warm up as well.”
Mason’s eyes lit up.
Ben grinned. “We’re not turning down food and hot chocolate, apparently. We'll be in if it's not too much trouble."
She glanced at Mason's eager eyes and figured that the kid was a typical teen and hungry all the time.
"No trouble at all," she said. And she meant it. In fact, now the evening seemed much brighter, considering that she was going to have some company and she could serve them something that would warm their insides and make them smile.
She hummed along to "Joy to the World" as she bustled in the kitchen, heating some milk for the hot chocolate and getting mugs ready as the meatloaf warmed in the microwave. It was almost twenty minutes later when there was another knock at the door.
She went to answer it and was surprised to only see Ben standing there.
"Mason?" she asked, looking over his shoulder, even though the porch was completely deserted.
"There's one more load to bring up, and Mason asked if he could do it because he wanted to be able to drive the pickup.
At that age, driving anywhere is a special treat.
" He blew out a breath as though he were nervous, but she couldn't imagine why he would be.
"I can wait out here if you want me to."
"Of course not. Come on in," she said, opening the door wider so that he could come in.
He pulled his hat off as he did so and stepped in on the rug.
"Don't worry about the dirt. My grandma always used to say that she would rather have people here and show hospitality than have a clean house. I guess I never really thought about it, but I definitely feel the same."
"I think it's probably the biblical way to feel, although sometimes we tend to make our house a shrine."
"That's true. We're so worried about how it looks that we forget that it's supposed to be warm and welcoming, and people aren't supposed to feel put out or scared that they're going to break something."
"That's a cute miniature Christmas town," Ben said as they walked by her favorite decoration.
"That always makes my heart smile when I see it. Although I was thinking tonight how different it is looking at it through adult eyes. It was my favorite decoration when I was a kid and still is, but it looked so much more magical back then, you know?"
"Sometimes I wish I could still look at the world through a child's eyes. Because everything seemed a little bit simpler." He paused for a moment, as though weighing his words, and then he said, "Maybe it's just because I didn’t have so much baggage."
"You talked a little bit about your divorce the other night, and I realize that I probably shared more with you about my termination from the hospital than I shared with anyone since I came.
If there's anything you want to talk about.
..?" She let her voice trail off with a question at the end so that he could jump in if he wanted to.
She had to admit she was curious, but also, sometimes it just helped to talk about things.
"I don't really—I guess I do feel guilty, but I wasn't the one who chose to cheat, you know?
And you can't make someone love you when they've decided that they love someone else instead.
Just standing there demanding it is fruitless.
So I was handed a choice that I didn't want to make, and now I just have to make the best of it.
My goal is to not be bitter and angry and allow that to affect my son. "
"At least you're aware of it. I think a lot of parents aren't. They see their kids as weapons or pawns for their side, and they try to poison them against the other parent. It's so sad. It's like we never really grew up, you know?"
"Yeah. I'd like to have a little bit more than a first-grade mentality when it comes to dealing with my ex. Even if sometimes it feels like that's how she deals with me."
She felt bad for him. He didn't exactly look like he'd had his heart broken by her, but he looked like he'd had his heart broken because of the way it had upended his life.
A sound from the kitchen made her remember the milk that she had heating on the stove.
"Oh!" she said, turning so quickly she lost her balance and reached out to the wall to steady herself.
At the same time, Ben reached out a hand to keep her from falling, and they ended up standing a good bit closer than they had been.
She realized her breath was coming quickly as she stared into his eyes and couldn't seem to get her wits about her, to move, to do anything other than wait.
But she didn't quite know what she was waiting for.
For him to say something? Move closer? To reach up and touch his shoulder?
"Hannah." His voice sounded a little hoarse, like it was rusty and hadn't been used in forever, but there was also a tone of wonder in it, like he wasn't quite sure why they were standing there either, but she got the feeling that he didn't want to move any more than she did.
She didn't know how long they would have stood there or what might've happened when the door burst open and Mason said, "I got to drive the truck! It was pretty awesome!"
He slammed the door behind him, and by that time, Hannah had jerked back and moved around Ben, heading toward the kitchen.
She threw a smile over her shoulder that she hoped did not have any of the agonizing, uncertain feelings that swirled all through her chest.
"Perfect timing. The milk is ready, and all I have to do is stir in the chocolate."
Her voice sounded almost normal. Now if she could just get her heartbeat and breathing under control.
What was that?
She wasn't sure. Her hand trembled slightly as she stirred the chocolate in and then poured the thick liquid into mugs.
"Here you go," she said as she walked into the dining room with a mug in each hand.
"Don't you have any?" Ben asked, and if he had any lingering issues from whatever moment they'd shared, she couldn't tell. His hands seemed steady when he reached out to take the mug from her, and he was careful not to brush her fingers.
"I had some earlier, and I think that's probably enough for me."
"Thank you," Mason said as he took the mug from her and immediately put it to his lips, prompting her to say, "Careful, it's hot."
He blew on it a bit before he took a sip and jerked back.
"You're right." That's all he said, but there was a bit of a smile on his lips like he knew he should've listened instead of rushing ahead.
Maybe the kid was learning a little.
"Did Mason tell you about the unusual patient we had today?" she asked as she brought plates of meatloaf to the dining room table and indicated that both of them could sit down.
"No?" Ben asked as he followed her lead and sat down, deliberately choosing a seat on the other side of Mason so there was as much space as possible between them.
"Mason, do you want to tell him?"
"We had a dog!" Mason said, laughing, causing Ben to laugh.
"A dog?"
"Jan Weller's dog somehow ripped a hunk of skin on its leg and she brought it to us because the veterinarian was closed and didn't answer his emergency number. So we shaved it off and stitched him up and told her to go see the vet in the morning."
They chatted about that for a little bit, and then Mason had a few more stories, although he was very careful not to give out any medical information that would violate patient confidentiality.
Hannah made a note to mention to Terry that he was doing an excellent job of remembering what he had been taught and adhering to that.
They chatted about a few other things while the meatloaf and chocolate disappeared, but Ben and Mason did not stay long after that.
Still, their visit left a glow that maybe wasn't entirely due to the fact that she'd enjoyed having company, as Hannah hummed softly to herself and washed the dishes in the sink later.
Ben was a really great man. She hoped she got to see more of him.