Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
Ben tried not to show his amazement. He hadn't even considered running for sheriff.
He had just assumed that the deputy position that he had taken was what he was going to have as long as he lived in Mistletoe Meadows.
But Greg had mentioned that he might be moving back to the DC area where he'd come from to take care of his aging parents, and while the implication there was that he was not going to be running in the next election cycle, Ben had just ignored it, considering that he wasn't the slightest bit interested in trying to run and get elected to any position.
He'd never been interested in politics. But Hannah made him feel like maybe it was possible.
"I'll definitely have to keep that in mind." It made him feel like he could do it because she believed in him. It was crazy how just a few suggestions and a smile and that feeling of being able to do it just almost magically appeared.
Everyone should have someone behind them believing in them.
He thought about his son and how maybe that was part of the problem.
He had expected his parents to stay together, providing that foundation for him, and it had thrown his whole world into chaos when he perceived that his mother didn't care anymore, even though it might not be entirely true.
Although Peyton definitely had given off that feeling even to Ben.
After all, if she cared about her family, wouldn't she have counted the cost of cheating and decided that it wasn't worth it?
"You know, I've been thinking lately," Hannah began, and he pulled his thoughts away. He didn't want to be thinking about Peyton now. Not with Hannah sitting across from him. He had been looking forward to this all week.
"About?" he prompted.
"About how I had considered that taking this job was just a little stop on my way back to the city and back into a career that was demanding and had the potential to be illustrious and huge, but.
.. maybe it's Terry having a baby and deciding that she wanted to find another doctor to work part-time so she could stay home part-time and raise her family, or maybe it's just the small-town atmosphere, but I found myself shifting gears in my head and thinking that giving up a career is a small sacrifice in order to have a slower lifestyle, to be available for my friends and neighbors and a family.
" She lifted a shoulder and adjusted her placemat absentmindedly.
"It's just something I've been thinking about.
And I suppose you've already done that. Left your big career and the opportunity for advancement and awards and recognition behind.
And you did it for your son. I admire that. "
There was the difference. Peyton had looked at what she had and decided that it wasn't worth giving up anything for. In fact, she almost acted like she just wanted to throw her family away. While Hannah, on the other hand, saw the value and realized that the sacrifice would be worth it.
Suddenly, everything clicked together, and he knew for certain that any risk that he took to deepen their relationship would be worth it.
"I really admire you. I think a lot of us chase fame and fortune for far too long.
Sometimes we never get that figured out.
And sometimes when we do figure it out, it's way too late.
I think you figured it out at exactly the right time, while I can't say that I necessarily figured it out. I was more forced into it."
She shook her head, huffing out an ironic laugh.
"I can't take the credit. I was forced into it as well.
I told you that I made a mistake and was fired on the spot.
And I had that whole mourning period where everything that I had dreamed about had gone up in smoke, and I missed it and wanted it back.
I was forced into the slower lifestyle. I might not have seen the benefits if I hadn't been.
" She tilted her head and squinted her eyes as though she were thinking about it.
"I struggle with that some, though, because to some people, it's a calling to be able to work long hours and save lives, to practice medicine in a way that is beneficial to a lot of different people, and I appreciate that dedication to their craft.
If I ever get sick or anything happens to me, I would want to be able to have someone like that taking care of me, operating on me, handling my case. You know?"
"I get it. You think you're making the best decision, but you appreciate the people who have made the opposite decision, and just because you've made one decision doesn't make their decision wrong?"
He phrased it as a question, but he was almost positive that was what she was saying.
"Exactly," she grinned.
He loved her smile. It lacked any artifice and just seemed to light up the entire room. Or maybe it was just him. But he had a hard time taking his eyes off of it.
The waitress came, delivering their food, and after she left, Hannah waited for him to say grace before they began to eat.
"Do you think that you're going to be too busy to help with the festival?" he asked, noting the dark circles under her eyes and realizing that she probably was exhausted from the extra work she'd taken on.
"No. I have a few people lined up to help me, and I know this is probably crazy, but Mason's been such a huge help in the medical center.
Of course, he's not doing anything with the patients, but he's just been really fantastic at picking up any slack he possibly can, and I really think he's going to have a great bedside manner as well. "
It warmed his heart to hear the praise about his son and to realize that he seemed to have turned a corner and was maybe no longer in danger of falling in with the wrong crowd.
After swallowing, Hannah continued. "Regardless, Terry was a little bit early, and we did have some appointments this week.
Things should slow down next week, and we might even have lulls in time because all we'll have are the emergency cases.
Sometimes we go an entire day with only two or three people walking in. "
"Wow. All right, I won't worry about you as much then, knowing that."
"You don't need to worry about me. I could've told you that earlier. We have been scheduling things so that she could take time off without it being an inconvenience to everyone in the community. We just were a little bit off on the timing. Babies come when they want to."
"I suppose they do." He hadn't thought about babies for a long time, and while he had really wanted more children and Peyton had been adamant about saying no to that, he hadn't considered adding to his family for years.
"Do you want children?" he asked, and then could've bitten his tongue. This was a first date, and even at that, Hannah had had a hard time even calling it a date. And here he was, asking her if she wanted children.
But if he scared her, she didn’t let on.
"I never had before. I guess if I thought about kids, they were something I wanted way off in the future, but I told you about the whole mindset shift I've gone through lately, and.
.. yes. I definitely want kids. I want the warm home, the happy family, the love and laughter and all the good things.
" She rolled her eyes. "Even though I know that it's not all sugar and roses all the time.
I'm not naive like that. I just... I want a family. "
"I think that's a good thing. I think a lot of times families take a backseat to everything else. For years I wanted siblings for Mason, and Peyton wasn't interested."
"What about now?" she asked, and she held her fork midair, waiting on his answer.
"With the right person, yes. It definitely has to be the right person, because I tried this before with the wrong person, and it's heartbreaking and messy, and the ones that suffer are the kids."
"I definitely agree with you on that—that's who suffers the most, although I think the adults suffer as well. So... what does the right person look like?"
"Don't panic, but I think she looks an awful lot like you."