Chapter 18
Sean
Chapter Eighteen
“He said that to you?”
“If I didn’t see both of your mouths moving, I wouldn’t have believed you both spoke. That’s eerie.”
Plenty of people tell us that. We often say the same thing. Our voices blend to most people’s ears, but our family can tell us apart. Our parents can, so I never got away with shite if I mutter things under my breath. Shane has the better sense to think his comments, not say them.
“Lina, when did Colt say all of that?”
“About five years ago. We dated for nearly a year, but most of it was long distance because of grad school. I wasn’t sure I wanted to settle down and get married. I wasn’t sure he was the right person, but I’d known him most of my life. It was always so comfortable being with him. I thought I knew what life would be like with him, and it felt nice. When he asked a third time and formally proposed, I said yes. He flew down to DC to do it. I came back three weeks later to surprise him. Except I’m the one who got surprised. I went to Houlihan’s since we used to share our locations, and the app showed he was there. I came in through the back like I had since I was underage. There he was with a brunette on his lap, Ellie sitting on Ewan’s lap next to them, Uncle Riley across the table, and most of the bar listening. I have never felt rage like that. I haven’t since. I knew where the owner kept his Colt—I liked the irony for what I planned. I also knew where the Louisville Slugger was, too.”
She looks down as her head tilts slightly. I see the muscles in her jaw flex as she purses her lips for a moment. She gives her head a little shake before looking at Shane and me.
“I shot the shot glass out of the bitch’s hand. Fuck William Tell and the apple on his kid’s head. I knew it would distract them all enough to get them on their feet. I was ready. Colt left with three fractured ribs, a broken elbow, and a busted kneecap. Denny Byrne tried to stop me. His four front teeth are implants. I rammed the end of the bat into his mouth.”
Denny’s name makes my fist curl, and I know Shane has the same reaction. He was Corey Byrne’s son before Finn dealt with Corey, who was part of the fucked-up situation Rowan jumped into with Finn’s in-laws. Denny’s my dad’s age. I met him the first time I came to Boston. He was a prick then. He’s a prick now. Since his dad died, he’s taken over leading a motorcycle club. They’ve stayed quiet after the reminder Finn sent them.
“I knew the woman on Colt’s lap. She was my best friend in Boston. She doubled down and came after me with a broken beer bottle. The bat to her tits ruptured both implants. She got them when she was fifteen, so they were already seven years old. Shockingly easy to burst old saline ones.”
“You took a bat to them?” I’m fucking stunned.
“I played softball all the way through college. I loved kickball when I was little, so it was a natural transition. I prefer kickball now that I’m older. I prefer a different kind of balls whizzing toward my face.” She winks. She fucking winks!
Now she shrugs. Her lips turn down in a false frown.
“I was just the runt of the litter to them. None of them came to my games in high school because I lived in Montreal. None of them came to games when I was in college because I lived in New York. I don’t look as sturdy as most softball players. They underestimated my strength and my speed. They lived. They learned.”
“And Colt thinks he can charm you after all that?” I want to bash his face in. I will bash his face in.
“That’s how arrogant Colton Flaherty is. He believes I’d fuck him again if he offered. He hints at it. Ewan suggests it. My brother told me I could have stayed in Boston if I wanted to get laid rather than seeing you.”
I’m seeing red.
“Sean, that was a long time ago. I vented my anger that afternoon. I sold the engagement ring and put a down payment on my sports car. At least he had the decency to get me a high-quality, flashy ring. Even that wasn’t about me. He wanted to impress my dad. If you deal with Colt, do it because of work. Do it because of your family. Don’t do it for me because he isn’t worth shit. He craves attention. The best way to fuck him over is to ignore him. It drives him nuts that he can’t get me to engage anymore. Pretentious twat.”
I nod, but it’s because there’s nothing I can do while I’m in a hospital bed. I’ll ignore him for now. But Lina didn’t pay attention earlier if she thinks I’m letting this rest permanently. From her resigned expression, she knows. She walks over to me and kisses my cheek.
“Don’t waste the expensive bullets on him.”
I glance at Shane. He’s staring at us.
The women in our family are—extraordinary.
Truthfully, all the syndicate wives are. They have to be to survive this lifestyle, and they already are extraordinary when they enter this world. It’s why we fall so hard, so fast when we meet our soulmate.
This has been a bizarre, yet informative story that confirms what I know. Lina is the person I was destined to meet and fall in love with. I’m not there yet. I’m not so drugged up I don’t know that. But I’m on the way. The foundation is there. Time will build the walls. I wonder if she feels anything like that toward me.
“Lina, you were flippant with Colt. But do you want to go back to Boston? Do you want to see Ewan?”
She hesitates and closes her eyes. When she looks at me, I see conflicting emotions brewing within.
“They say there are stages of grief. It’s not linear. Sometimes you return to old ones. Sometimes you skip past others. Now that my anger isn’t about him attacking you, my anger is that he’s not the brother I had. I miss that boy. But neither of us are kids. He’s made his choices about me, and I’ve made mine about him. It still makes me sad sometimes, and that annoys me. I can’t bargain with him or God to heal our relationship. He doesn’t want it, and neither do I. Not really. I didn’t move to Boston because I wanted to help him specifically. I moved to help protect our community. Not everyone has been horrible to me. That’s why I let him guilt me into shit. No more. If I see him, it’s to say a permanent goodbye. He won’t forgive me for choosing you. And I will never choose him again.”
My heart hurts for her. Shane and I exchange a glance. We can sympathize that this is a shite position to be in. But we can’t empathize. We’ll never be able to put ourselves in her shoes to know what she feels. We can’t. It’s unfathomable to us ever to be at odds like Lina is with Ewan. I can’t imagine it with Finn either. It’s not just because Shane and I are twins. I love Finn just as much. Shane and I might be genetically identical, but Finn and I still share the same DNA. It was stamped into the very fibers of who we are before we were anything more than an embryo. It’s the same with our cousins. How we feel about them, and how they feel about us.
I wait to see if Lina will say more, but she remains quiet. I turn my attention back to Shane. “What does Dillan want us to do?”
“Stay here until you’re discharged. As soon as you’re well enough, we go back to the city.”
I nod, and Shane knows that’s his cue to leave. When the door clicks closed, Lina speaks before I can.
“Can I come with you?”
“I was going to ask if you would.”
“Eventually, I’ll have to go back to Boston because I have stuff in storage. But for now, I have no reason to stay at Jesse’s. I’d rather be near you.”
“Seamus owns a moving company. Whenever you’re ready, he can take care of your belongings going wherever you want.” To our place.
She appears hesitant. I think I’ve guessed why.
“I didn’t just mean a flight back to New York. Lina, I want you to stay with me. Partly for your safety, but mostly because I want all the time with you I can get. The doctor said I’ll be convalescing for a couple weeks. I already work from home most days. I make my schedule. If you want space of your own, my place is enormous enough. If you decide you want to go somewhere else, I’ll make sure everything is taken care of.”
We’re sorta talking about moving in together. An indefinite houseguest. This will certainly tell us if we can live compatibly.
“Thank you, Daddy.” She climbs back into bed and snuggles next to me.
“I love hearing you call me that. As soon as they discharge me tomorrow or the day after, we can go to Jesse’s. You can hang out for a while or just get your stuff. When you’re ready to go, we’ll fly back to the city. One or two of the guys might join Dillan.”
“I won’t keep everyone waiting because I want to shoot the shit with Jesse. I don’t want you up and around that much. Seamus or Cormac can take me to get my stuff at a reasonable hour. As soon as you’re discharged, we fly to New York. Your mom is probably in agony, waiting to see you. You need to see your parents, then we can sort out everything else.”
“Did you talk to your mom while I was out?”
“No. I haven’t said anything to her. If my grandfather knows any of this, he hasn’t told her because she hasn’t called. Once we’re out of Massachusetts, I’ll call and tell her most of what’s going on.”
“All right. We have another fifteen minutes before a nurse is likely to come back. Then we should be able to catch a couple more hours of sleep. Are you comfy?”
“Way more than you are.”
“I just clicked the pain med button, and you’re beside me. I’m very comfy.”
I close my eyes, and the comfort flees. That premonition is back.
I got a smudged bill of health—in my line of work, it’s considered clean—and we’re back in NYC. The doctor discharged me just before noon. I passed all the tests, but they kept me for another night. Cormac and Shane took Lina to Jesse’s to get her suitcases. I asked Finn to run a background check on her friend. I admitted it before I did it. It didn’t thrill Lina, but she understands. I don’t know Jesse. I know nothing about him or their friendship. For anyone I’m not familiar with, to me, they’re an automatic threat to Lina until they aren’t. I’m not a pessimist. I’m a realist.
We stopped in Boston, and Seamus stayed with Dillan. They’re watching Colt and another guy—Blake O’Malley—their accountant—because this is undoubtedly not over. It could be a coincidence we were shot hours apart. It likely isn’t. They’ll stay for a few more days. We all know there’s a possibility the others will need to go back. I’m thirty-one, and my mom grounded me from going out to play. For her sake, my dad’s, and Lina’s, I didn’t argue. I don’t want to be more of a liability than an asset to the others.
On the flight from Boston to NYC, Lina stepped into the private cabin on the plane to call her mom. She was pensive when she came out. I didn’t do more than raise my eyebrows. She told me it went okay, but she knew her mom would have plenty to say when she wasn’t around my family or me. She was upfront with her mom about being in a new relationship with me and that she was staying at my place until I said it was safe enough for her to go anywhere else.
When she said that, I kept my expression as neutral as I could. I don’t want her to go anywhere else. But it’s far too soon to decide. At least for her. Hours in a hospital bed gave me plenty of time to think. In my world, that many hours of inactivity is rare. Having that much time to let my mind wander was a luxury I really don’t remember having since I was a kid. I’m used to deciding in seconds and minutes not hours and days. I’m used to decisions that can’t be undone once made. I worked through things slowly. I still came to the same conclusion, but it doesn’t feel impetuous.
“Sean?”
“I’m in the kitchen.”
We went straight to my parents when we landed. We had dinner there, and I was certain I was stuffed. Apparently, I’m not. Or I’m a Hobbit. I need second dinner.
“Would you like something?” I hold up half of my sandwich as she joins me.
Her hair’s wet from a shower I wish we’d taken together. But I had some work emails to sort through instead. Fucking adulting’s getting in the way of my sex life.
She’s careful when she wraps her arms around me not to touch my incision while she rests her chin against my back. I haven’t admitted it, but the hospital grade pain meds kept me from feeling much. I could even put pressure on it when I was in bed. Now, I feel every breath shoot through me like a searing fireplace poker. I glance at the microwave clock. Thank God. I can take another dose.
“I’m fine. Your mom must have given me five pounds of food, and I ate all of it.”
“Good. You’re going to need all that energy.” I turn in her arms, spinning her until she’s backed against the counter.
“Is that so, Daddy?”
The mirth in her voice makes me even harder. I’ll show her. I press more, trapping her in place. She can feel my cock, and she tries to flex her hips. She doesn’t have the room to do it, but I can. I rub against her as I take her hands and cross her wrists behind her. I start to stretch to grab the dish towel, but pain shoots through me, threatening to make me sick. I have to step away to get it, but once I have it, I twirl it until it’s coiled, then I wrap her wrists in it. It only takes seconds before she’s restrained.
I push her yoga pants down but leave her panties up. I grab the front of them and bunch them in my hand, tugging on them. The material rubs her clit, and she moans. I grab the back of them and saw them back and forth through her pussy lips. When she tries to kiss me, I let go of the back and wrap my hand around her throat.
“Are you into breath play?”
“I haven’t been in the past. I haven’t trusted enough for it. I want to now.”
“I’ve done it, but not often. Can you still snap?”
She tries, and I hear both sets of fingers. I incrementally increase the pressure. I use the space between my forefinger and thumb to tighten my hold. I don’t want to leave bruises if I use my fingers. I don’t want anyone to recognize them as fingerprints, nor do I want anyone to think she’s trashy with hickies mottling her neck. Those are only for her tits.
If and when we go on vacation alone—plus the inevitable family contingency of bodyguards—I will mark her any and everywhere. The guys won’t pay attention, and they have the sense not to pass judgement on her. We won’t go anywhere for others to see. But it’s the knowledge that I’ve marked her, and someone else would know I’ve claimed her that arouses the fuck out of me.
I flick her earlobe before tugging on it. I kiss just behind her ear before bringing my lips beside it.
“Wear panties again, and I will edge you for keeping me away from what’s mine. If I want my fingers in you, my tongue in you, my cock in you, there better not be anything in the way. Do you understand, cailín?”
I let go long enough for her to answer. “Yes, Daddy.”
“I will shred them and make you walk around here without a fucking thing to cover my pussy.”
Her pupils dilate, and it’s not from the weight on her throat. It’s arousal. I push the offensive thing down, and she shifts her weight to kick off her pants and panties.
“Open your legs.”
She obeys immediately. I slip my finger into her. She’s still impossibly tight, even for my finger. Her narrow hips made me question whether she could take me. I’m not just tall and broad. I’m proportionate. But I remember the feel of sliding into her cunt for the first time. She could take all of it, but it was like a vise. A tortuous, erotic, euphoric vise.
I add a second finger, rubbing her g spot. She trembles and tries to ride them. I slip a third one in and thrust over and over. I keep my thumb away from her clit on purpose. My lips snag hers, and my kiss threatens to swallow her whole. I release all the weight from her throat as I pull back. My hand just rests on her throat.
“Are you still all right?”
“Don’t stop.” She lifts her chin, inviting my hand back.
I watch her expression as she struggles to come, but without me rubbing her g spot or her clit, she can’t get there. I feel her tugging at the towel, trying to get it loose. I’ve tied too many people up. She’ll only get free of my restraints if I want her to. Right now, I don’t.
I squeeze, making it harder for her to breathe as she tenses again, trying to orgasm. I pull my fingers out. She opens her mouth to protest, but no sound comes out. I observe her as I tease her, finger fucking then stopping over and over as I progressively block her from breathing. I haven’t done much breath play during sex, but I’m an expert at this.
The moment her eyes widen, then look like they’ll droop, I let go. I thrust into her, rubbing her clit. Her head falls to my shoulder as she cries out.
“I’m coming, Daddy.”
My now free arm wraps around her as she leans her weight against me. My touch gentles as I run my fingertips over her pussy. I step back, making sure she has enough room to inhale deeply. It gives our bodies enough space for her to drop to her knees. I step back again, cupping her jaw.
“Do you want to suck me off?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to pleasure you. Because I want to give you what you gave me.”
“I did that for you not to get something in return. You never have to do that. It isn’t tit for tat. When I make you come, it’s never a prelude or a dupe to make you do the same.”
“I want to, Sean. I know I’m not obligated or expected to. That’s not how things are between us. I’m offering because it would make me happy.”
“Thank you, little one. The floor is hard. Would you rather do it somewhere else?”
“Is there anywhere that won’t press against your back?”
The bullet hole allowed the doctors to pass the laparoscope in. Not their ideal method, but it prevented another wound site. That still has to heal as much as my inner abdomen now that there’s an organ missing. Pleasuring Lina is a serotonin and dopamine hit. It helped relieve the pain. But she’s right. Anything that presses against my back will hurt. I have to sleep on my side now.
I look around my place and spot my dining room chairs. I cup her elbow and guide her there, since she’s still restrained. I’ll do that properly in a just a few minutes. I grab a chair and turn toward our bedroom. She didn’t ask for a separate room and took her bag in there when we arrived. I know she was nervous assuming she could do that, but I love her bravery to do it, anyway.
“Go in our room and stand facing the side of the bed farther from the door.”
In my compromised condition, I can’t move as fast. I want to face the door just in case. It puts her closer to it because she’ll be standing in front of me, but that’ll only be for a couple minutes. I’ll remain the easy target.
I put the chair down and go to the dresser. I hurried through my emails while she showered so I could put away the things I got. As I pull out the drawer, I explain, so she doesn’t think I reduce, reuse, recycle.
“While I was on the first flight to Boston, I had time to do some shopping. I picked some things out for us. If you don’t like anything, say so. It’s not just about limits and safe words. Your preference matters. You can always tell me what you’re in the mood for. I may or may not oblige. But if you tell me there’s something you don’t want—besides when it might be a punishment—I will listen to you.”
“Punishment? I’m not a Little, Sean.”
“I haven’t started thinking you are. Nor do I want domestic discipline. But if you endanger your safety or the men tasked with protecting you, I will punish you. If it’s on purpose, you know better. If it’s on accident, then you should have thought better about your choices. If something happens that makes you feel unsafe or scared, and you don’t tell me, I will punish you. Your thoughts are your own, but I will demand to know what scares you. You will tell me. You are not someone easily spooked. If it’s bad enough to scare you, then I consider it a full-blown threat. If anyone threatens you, coerces you, guilts you, manipulates you, you will tell me. If you don’t, I will punish you. I consider those threats, too.”
I go back to stand in front of her and wrap my arm around her to grab her arse.
“You know what kind of man I am, Lina. You know I can be violent. I will never tell you how violent, and I pray you never find out. But there won’t be a shred of humanity left in me if someone hurts you.”
She swallows and nods. “Sean, I believe you. I need you to understand that is not one-sided. You won’t agree to that. I already know that, so you don’t have to tell me. But you will never change my mind. I told you I shot a shot glass out of someone’s hand. It wasn’t one of the short, stout kind. It was the narrow tube. There was less than an inch visible below her hand. I don’t regularly carry a gun, and I don’t want to even though I’m licensed to in Massachusetts. I’ve hunted with my grandfather. I’m a good shot because I’ve always wanted to be humane to the animals we’ll eat. But that humanity ends the moment I need to defend you and our future together.”
Her tone and the hard set of her jaw, along with the determination in her eyes, tell me I can argue until I’m blue in the face. I won’t change her mind.
“Thank you. You do not go looking for trouble. You do not instigate trouble. But I feel relieved you can shoot. And I won’t lie. It feels special to hear your conviction to protect me.”
“I know how I feel when you promise to keep me safe. It’s not a one-way street.”
Our kiss is gentle and quick before I let go. I return to the dresser and pull out what I want. I bring them back to the bed and spread them out on the comforter, so she can see what I plan to use. She looks up at me and nods, then turns to face the bed like I originally commanded.
I take the leather wrist cuffs and replace the towel with them, making sure they’re snug, but I can still get a finger between her and the restraint. I press her forward onto the bed.
“Turn toward me on your stomach.” She does it. “Bend your legs.”
I slide a leather garter beneath each thigh. Both have chains and hooks that fasten to the ankle cuffs I buckle. I snap a chain that connects the links between her wrist cuffs to the metal loop on her right garter. Once I see the position this puts her in, I grab two pillows to tuck under her shoulders and neck, so she doesn’t have to strain to hold her head up.
Then I strip. She only has a tank top on. I’ll take it off later. I move the chair, so it’s sideways. The back is toward the footboard. I rest my right knee on it, and it takes weight off my legs. I can stand like this for a while.
“Open for me.”
I fist my cock and point it toward her. I outline her lips with the tip before I tap her tongue.
“Lick.”
She does. The top, flicking the slit. Then the entire length. She does it over and over until my entire dick is wet.
“Suck.”
She only takes the tip at first, her cheeks caving. She inches toward the base, driving me to the brink of grabbing her head and shoving my entire cock down her throat. I let her have control since she offered this. I grip the chair back as my cock swipes the back of her throat. She gags, and I’m ready to pull back. She sucks harder. She’s still for a moment, and I don’t rush her. I feel her throat relax before she works me some more. I need the chair’s support to keep me upright. I drop my head back with my eyes closed.
Fuck. This is amazing. Hands down the best blow job I’ve ever gotten. Yeah, she knows what she’s doing. There’s no doubting that, but it’s Lina. It’s because it’s her. My subs had experience, even talent. But this transcends anything I’ve known. I have to tilt my head forward because I’m growing lightheaded. For a moment, I worry I’m overdoing it. But my mind clears. It’s Lina. It’s all Lina. It’ll always be Lina.
I keep telling myself that. It’s true. There’re emotions here I don’t recognize. They’re foreign to me. They’re both unsettling and reassuring in equal measure. I cup her jaw, and a wave of tenderness I haven’t experienced while a woman goes down on me crashes over me. Her eyes are closed as she concentrates. But she looks up when she feels my hand. She’s enjoying this, too.
“Mo stór.” My treasure.
The term of endearment rolls off my tongue. I brush my thumb over her cheekbone, and she redoubles her efforts.
“Fuck, little one. I won’t last long.”
She hums. The vibration sets me off. My fingers tunnel into her hair, something I love doing. It’s like yards of silk threads. I don’t hold myself down her throat. There’s no pressure.
“If you don’t want to swallow, let go.”
She sucks harder. Fucking vacuum cleaner attached to my dick.
“Lina!”
My head falls back again as I bellow her name, then groan. I feel her tongue swirl around my cock before she draws back. I take a moment to gather my thoughts. I also need to catch my breath before I get woozy. Coming that hard standing up wasn’t the smartest choice, but it was the best feeling choice I’ve ever made.
“Are your shoulders okay? Knees?”
“I’m all right, Daddy.”
My cock twitches. We both look at it and laugh. Then I have my hands on her waist as I pick her up and turn her around, quickly putting the pillows beneath her again.
“Sean! You’re going to hurt yourself. Stop being foolish.”
My hand lands across her arse three times.
“I got shot. I’m not dead.”
Even if I thought I was going to be.
I draw her knees to the edge of the bed and push them wide before I kneel on the floor. It’s my turn to feast. Fuck the sandwich I forgot about until now. I grab her arse, lifting, spreading, squeezing as my tongue runs the length of her cunt and to her arsehole. I watch her hands clench, then relax when I move away from there.
“Is that a no?”
“It’s a I’m unused to it but not opposed to it. I’ve always thought that was—um—it didn’t appeal to me. But you’ve done it twice, and I like it. If you’re okay with it.”
“More than okay. All of you is mine, and I will have it before you fall asleep tonight.”
I reach for the butt plug and lube I’d put on the bed. I squeeze some onto her arse, enjoying watching it glide along a place I’ll fill as soon as she’s ready. A place other’s might have been before, but no one but me will ever go again. Her cunt is the same. A given. But there’s something even more intimate about this.
I cover the plug with lube and press it into her. She remains relaxed, taking it without hesitation.
“It’s because it’s you.”
I pause and look around her bent leg. She’s turned her head toward me.
“I’ve had anal before. I’ve worn plugs before. It’s not my most favorite when it’s the only thing going on. But I’ve never been this at ease before. I trust you.”
She’s told me that several times. It doesn’t grow old hearing. My men trust me because they know I’m committed to our branch. They know my honor demands I do my best for them. My family trust me because we’re family. But Lina doesn’t have a reason to. She hasn’t since we met, but she does. Her trust means more to me than everyone else’s combined.
The other part of what she says registers with me.
“Only thing?”
She sighs. Am I going to want to hear this confession?
“If it’s anal just for the sake of anal, it’s okay. If there’s a vibrator, a dildo, or someone else, then I like it.”
Someone else!
“Sean, we can discuss our pasts if you want to. I won’t hide what I’ve done, but I don’t want to know about yours. It’ll hurt and make me jealous. I don’t even like knowing you have long-term subs and a place you own just to meet them.”
“I bought the place as a rental property originally. Had not have. Owned not own. Met not meet. And I’d rather not talk about our pasts either.”
“I only said what I said, so you’d know what I meant. I trust you, and I want you to trust me. I want to be truthful, but not out of spite or thoughtlessness.”
“I know.” I kiss her arse cheek.
“I want to be sure I’m clear, though. The vibrator and dildo I’d like to keep doing. I will never ask for someone to join us.”
I hear what’s unsaid. I stand up and do my best to lean onto the bed, so we’re face to face.
“I won’t either. I don’t want another woman looking at or touching me. I sure as feck don’t want to touch another woman. I don’t want another man looking at or touching you. I sure as feck don’t want you touching another man.” I take a long blink. “If you change your mind and want another man, I can try to come to terms with it, if that’s what would make you happy. I won’t agree to another woman. I can’t.”
She twists to rest on her left shoulder and hip as best she can.
“You’d let another man join us, but you won’t allow another woman. I would have thought it would be the other way around.”
“If another man is what you fantasize about, and you really need it, then I can deal with my feelings. But I can’t touch another woman. The thought is worse than you with another man.”
“Because you don’t want to betray me. Sean, I do not want another man touching me. I would feel I’m betraying you, even with your consent and participation. I wouldn’t be okay with you suggesting you share me. As for another woman, she wouldn’t survive the first step through the door. You might not either if you suggest it. I’ve done things in the past that were fun, but repeating them with you would hurt and likely leave you having to dispose of a body to keep me out of prison. If I kill you, then who’s going to help me?”
She grins as she strains to give me a kiss before shifting back onto her stomach.
I feel about a thousand times lighter than I did a second ago. I move back to where I was. I toy with her clit for at least five minutes. To where I’ll make it painful if I keep going. I stroke her g spot, petting it like you would a pussycat. Lame pun intended.
I could fist my cock to get hard again, but I don’t need to. The way her breath hitches and her moans—I’m aching to be inside her again. When she shifts restlessly, I stand. Keeping her legs apart, holding her ankles, I inch into her. She whimpers, needing more. I’m testing both of us. She pushes her hips up, and I let them stay that way as I slide in until my balls touch her. I don’t move.
“Aside from orgasms, I don’t think there’s a more enjoyable feeling than you entering me.”
Her voice is breathy as she says what I already know. My hands shift to her hips as I pull them back toward me. I rock my hips back and forth, not pulling out at all.
“If I stay like this, I’ll come.” I kiss the inside of her ankle because it’s what I can reach.
“If you move, you’ll come.” I hear the teasing.
I land my hand on her arse before reaching for the crop I brought over to use. I tap her arse, but it’s not a spank. I reach around her with my other hand and rub her clit—careful after playing with it a few minutes ago.
“May I come, Sean?”
“Yes.”
I don’t care what she calls me as long as she’s asking me. I don’t need deference or obedience right now. But I’ll take acknowledgement she’s with me and only me.
Her body tenses as she pushes back, raising her hips even more. Her moan lingers until she sucks in a hard breath. I pull out of her cunt as I pull the plug out. I coat my dick in the lube.
“Are you ready for this?”
“Yes.”
I step away, and she twists to see what I’m doing. I go to the magic drawer and grab a vibrator. I’m ripping the packaging off as I walk over. The boxes for the other stuff are on the dresser where I practically shredded them to unwrap the other toys earlier.
“I have one, and that looks nice. But now that I’ve fucked you, I’m going to need something way bigger than either of them. That’s just going to be disappointing.” She grins.
I take my place again behind her. I make sure the lube hasn’t evaporated too much on me. Then I ease into her, not forcing past the ring of resistance.
“Lina?”
“I’m okay. Keep going. I know we’re getting used to each other, but you don’t have to check on me so much, and you don’t have to keep getting consent for everything. I consent for it all, and I’ll tell you if something’s wrong.”
“If it’s more than just hurting—if it’s painful—and I harm you, I?—”
“Daddy, I want you to believe me. And I definitely don’t want to ruin this. I would never put you in that position. That’s not what I want. I want to share this intimacy with only you.”
“All right.”
“Though I doubt this was the type of intimacy the doctor meant when she suggested alternatives.”
“I know. I can’t be as rambunctious as I’d normally be.”
I turn on the vibrator and reach beneath my cock to slide it into her. The little extension isn’t pressing against her clit. It’s against the thin strip between her pussy and arsehole. I have it on high. I only rock my hips as I pick up the crop. I bring it down medium hard. She clenches her arse. I groan. I do it over and over, alternating sides until her arse is bright pink. I twist the vibrator around, and immediately, she’s coming. Her arse clenches so tightly, it’s painful. But it sets me off. I toss aside the crop and use both hands to hold her arse to my pelvis.
“Fuuuuck.” I growl. I don’t know if I’ve ever made that exact sound before. Totally primal.
Neither of us moves as we pant. Then it hits me. I clench my jaw, refusing to let on that the surge of pain makes me want to vomit. I squeeze my eyes shut as I pull out and bring the vibrator with me. I’m sucking air in through my nose. I work to unfasten everything as I half kneel on the chair again. I feel the sweat on my forehead. It’s clammy now. She’s going to flip, and it’s going to ruin everything. I swallow the bile burning up my chest.
“Move around, little one. Are you in pain?”
She flips over. Immediately, her eyes widen. I thought I sounded normal.
“Fucking hell, Sean. Sit down. You’re nearly as pale as you were when you got shot.”
She’s gentle but firm as she pushes me onto the chair. She sweeps the back of her hand over my cheek before pressing it to my forehead.
“I’m fine. Really.”
“Bullshit. Stay here.”
She bolts across the room. I twist to see her sprint to the kitchen. She yanks open the fridge door and scans the contents. I know she’s looking for juice. She’ll have to move some leftovers out of the way. My fridge is full since I cooked a few days ago. I meal prep for the week. A regular Martha Stewart.
The door slams shut, and she’s running back to me. She didn’t even bother to search for a glass. She shoves the apple juice toward me after taking off the lid.
“All of it Sean. It doesn’t have the sugar orange juice does.”
I happily oblige because I’m parched. I guzzle it down and feel marginally better. While I do, she’s watching me, but she takes the vibrator and plug into the bathroom. I watch her set them on a stack of tissues she lays out next to the sink. She comes back to me and looks mildly relieved that I haven’t keeled over. She pulls back the sheet and comforter.
“Get in, Daddy. Do you want your sandwich? Would eating help?”
“Later. I’m fine, Lina. I promise.”
“Get in.” She’s not backing down.
“I like you fierce.”
“We’ll see.” She arranges pillows around me.
She didn’t bother trying to convince me I should sleep on the other side of the bed to keep weight off my right side. She knows I’ll always sleep closer to the door. She props my back up with the pillows and gets in beside me. She cradles my head on her shoulder like I did hers the last two nights in the hospital.
“Let me take care of you for a bit.”
My eyes drift closed. For the third time, I have that vision of her tied to a chair. This time, there’s no needle. She’s already dead.