Chapter Eleven
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Addie slipped back into her normal routine as if those wonderful days with Vic Jacobetti hadn’t happened.
Sometimes she caught herself wondering if she had dreamt it all—it was so far removed from her mundane pattern of going to work and coming home alone.
She threw herself into her knitting, mindlessly watching series after series on television with her knitting needles softly clacking, her heart aching for the sound of Vic’s voice.
Two, then three weeks went by, and she looked at her phone so often, but there was never a message or a missed call from him. She supposed she had herself to blame for that, insisting on a clean break, but how she wished he would contact her.
Her phone buzzed with an incoming call and her heart nearly leapt out of her chest, but when she looked at the screen, she saw it was her mother. She picked up her phone and pressed the answer button.
‘Hi, Mum. I was going to call you to see if you were free for lunch or dinner next time you’re in London.’
‘Were you?’ Her mother’s voice sounded immensely surprised. ‘I can’t remember the last time you called me, other than for my birthday, even though I’ve told you I’m not counting those any more. Is there someone with you? I can hear someone talking.’
Addie shifted position on the sofa and reaching for the television remote, turned it to mute. ‘It was just the television.’
‘Addison, you really must try and go out more. How on earth are you ever going to meet someone by staying at home all the time?’
Addie ignored the critical parent tone of her mother’s voice because she was starting to take on board Vic’s insights into her mother’s behaviour. ‘Mum, I have met someone, but we recently broke up.’
‘Oh, sweetie, that’s too bad. Did he dump you?’
‘No, actually it was me that ended it.’
‘Was he a jerk?’
‘No, far from it.’ Addie paused for a nanosecond and added, ‘I fell in love with him, but he didn’t want to commit to anything other than a fling.’
Solange let out a sigh. ‘Perhaps if you’d tried harder to please him, or lost a few pounds you might have—’
‘Mum, is that what you do to keep a man? Twist yourself into whatever shape he wants to please him?’
There was a telling silence.
‘Addie, I have twisted myself so much to please not only men, but the public and every brand I’ve ever represented that I no longer remember what my real self is.’ She gave a half laugh that didn’t sound humorous. ‘I’m too scared to find out.’
‘You have to find out, Mum, otherwise you’ll spend the rest of your life inauthentically, like I’ve been doing for years.’
Her mother sighed. ‘Yes, well, it’s hard when the world expects you to look perfect all the time.’
‘Maybe I’m lucky I didn’t take after you, then.’
‘Sweetie, I envy you. I always have to be honest. You don’t have to work at looking beautiful.
Do you realise the effort I have to put in to look this good?
It’s ridiculous and I’m getting tired of it.
For once in my life, I want to eat chocolate, or drink a couple of glasses of champagne instead of counting the damned calories. ’
Addie had never heard her mother speak so honestly before and it warmed her heart to think underneath all that brash bluster was someone as insecure as she was. Perhaps there was hope for their relationship after all. ‘I can imagine how hard that must be, denying yourself the things you want most.’
‘I wanted to be a better mother than mine, but I don’t think I’ve done a good job,’ Solange said. ‘I haven’t been there for you the way I should’ve been. The work always came first, or the current man in my life.’
‘It’s not too late to fix that.’
‘Do you really think so?’ There was an undercurrent of hope and vulnerability in her mother’s voice Addie hadn’t heard before.
Addie smiled. ‘Of course because none of us are perfect. I have stuff to work on too. Getting over Vic is the first thing on my list.’ She could have bitten her tongue for accidentally mentioning Vic’s name.
There was another silence.
‘Not Vic Jacobetti?’ The element of gobsmacked surprise in her mother’s voice would normally have annoyed Addie, but this time it didn’t.
‘Yes, Vic Jacobetti.’ Even saying his name hurt inside her heart like a burning coal.
‘Do you want me to talk to him? I’ll set him straight. I’ll tell him he has no right to break my daughter’s heart and—’
‘No, please don’t do that.’ Addie shuddered at the thought of her mother’s version of what being an involved mother might be. ‘I have to work through this myself, but thanks for offering.’
‘So, about this mother-daughter lunch,’ Solange said. ‘Shall we go somewhere fancy and dress up? Or would you prefer something a little less exposed?’
‘How about a compromise? A picnic in the park and a walk afterwards. How does that sound?’
‘It sounds divine.’
Vic went through the plans for the villa redevelopment with grim determination.
He had been doing nothing but work to get this thing off the ground, but for some reason, every time he looked at those plans, he thought of Addie.
He pictured her beautiful face with its sunny dimpled smile and those cute freckles.
He thought of her tawny brown eyes that shone with delight when she looked at him…
apart from the last time he saw her, of course.
He rubbed a weary hand down his face, wondering if he was ever going to get these plans back to the architect with his final tick of approval.
He kept stalling, finding details to be sorted out, minor things that he wouldn’t normally make a big deal about, but he had turned into a pernickety person who found fault with everything and everyone.
He was turning into a version of his stepfather.
Vic gave a mental cringe and looked back at the plans.
He tried to ignore the heavy feeling in his chest, the weight of something pulling at his body like an anvil hanging from his heart.
His heart. Dio , the last thing he wanted reminding of was his heart.
He had no interest in dating. His playboy lifestyle had a pause button on it and he didn’t see it switching on again anytime soon.
He had lost all enthusiasm for anything but work, but even that was unsatisfying in a way it had never been before.
It didn’t numb the feelings of loneliness like it used to.
He was worn out with trying to batter them into submission.
Vic turned his attention back to the architectural plans in front of him, but his gaze drifted to the grotto and something grabbed him in the guts like a clawed hand.
It was one of the last places he had been with his father before he died.
Memories of his father’s smile came to him in a flood, ambushing him with their vividness.
It was like travelling back in time, seeing himself as a young boy who idolised his father.
Who loved his father with every cell of his body.
And that love was returned. The love of his father had been his anchor, his guiding light, his everything…
until his father died. Vic pushed the plans away in despair.
He couldn’t bring himself to work on them.
If he was honest with himself, he was fast losing interest in developing the villa into a hotel.
Those few days with Addie and little Katerina had reminded him of what his villa used to be like before his father was killed in an accident.
Back then it was a home full of love, full of laughter and fun and joy.
Of course it was a big place, too big really for a family of three, but his parents had hoped to have more children.
Vic pushed back his office chair and got up from the desk and went to look at the view from his office.
London was spread out before him in all its glory.
The buildings and bridges, Big Ben, the river and parks and greenery all as familiar to him as his own features.
Why was he feeling this wretched loneliness?
He had ended so many flings and felt nothing.
But now all he could think of was Addie.
She was somewhere out there in this huge city, going about her life, just as he was trying to do.
Was she missing him the way he missed her?
Was she trying to distract herself with work and finding it impossible to remove the memories of their time together?
His gut cramped again.
Was she with someone else?
Vic was not a jealous man. He had no need to be. He had never wanted someone enough to trigger those feelings. Until now. He hated the thought of someone else being with Addie, giving her the fairytale she longed for and deserved.
You deserve it too.
Vic shook his head, wondering if he was going mad.
There was a voice inside his head that kept prodding at him, but until now he had always been able to ignore it.
A voice that told him he had got it all wrong, that he was ruining his life by not opening his heart to love.
It was as if a vault inside him had been cracked open, shining light in all the dark places, revealing a truth that was worth more than anything else on the planet—love.
His love for Addie.