Chapter Eleven #2
A weight lifted off him as he allowed himself to examine the feelings he had ignored and shut down before.
He could not believe how foolish he had been to throw away a chance at happiness, at fulfilment, at finally being a whole person, brave enough to love someone even though he might one day lose them.
That was the risk everyone who loved had to take.
Addie had taken it and yet he had let her down, broken her heart by refusing to acknowledge his own feelings for her.
Because of course he had feelings for her.
Feelings that had crept up on him, surprising him by their intensity.
Was that why he had fought so valiantly to ignore them?
Feelings were something he had avoided since losing his father.
He hated the thought of loving someone so much that they might be taken from him or he would fail to protect them from harm.
But was it realistic to think that way? Life was unpredictable because life was out of his control.
It was out of everyone’s control. The only thing he could control was his response to what life threw at him.
And life had thrown him a chance at happiness and he had pushed it away.
Why had he been such a stubborn fool? He’d thought he was doing the right thing, the best thing by avoiding long-term relationships in order to protect his heart from further hurt.
But hadn’t the last few weeks shown him that it was more painful to stop himself from loving Addie?
Was it too late?
Vic arrived at her doorstep half an hour later.
He took a deep breath and pushed the doorbell, but all he got was the sound of it echoing in the silence.
His heart began to hammer. His stomach tightened.
He had missed his chance. He had thrown away the one chance he had to be happy with someone who understood him, who got him, who was sensitive and kind and loving enough to see past the armour he had built around his heart.
Vic pressed the doorbell again, his breath locked in his tight throat where his heart seemed to have climbed.
When there was no answer his stomach plummeted like something falling from a tall building.
He fished out his phone and called her but it went straight to message bank.
He sent a text, but it showed her phone had switched off notifications.
His heart throbbed in his throat like a wild creature.
Where was she? He tried to get past the panic in his head to think clearly, to think rationally.
There could be any number of reasons why Addie wasn’t at home right now.
His memory snagged on a conversation they’d had at one point when she’d talked about her work, how she worked extra shifts on weekends so others could be with their families.
Her kind-hearted nature was one of the things he most loved about her.
He hailed a passing taxi and got in, and then had to stop himself from asking the driver to speed to the after-hours veterinary clinic.
The taxi driver stopped at a red light.
‘Come on, come on, come on…’ Vic said under his breath, willing the traffic lights to change from red to green.
The lights reminded him of himself, how he had put a red light on his emotions. Stopping himself from feeling anything that could endanger his heart. But he had turned off the red light now and was allowing himself to feel the full depth of his love for sweet and beautiful Addie.
Addie was working overtime at the after-hours clinic because one of the other vet nurses had called in sick.
It meant she wouldn’t be home until late, which didn’t normally bother her, but talking about Vic to her mother over their picnic in the park earlier that day had brought the pain back with a vengeance and she found the thought of going home to an empty flat depressing.
She had to get over him. She had to move on.
She had to stop clinging to the rope of hope, while swinging over a chasm of despair that threatened to consume her.
Addie distracted herself by checking on the new litter of puppies delivered that morning by an emergency caesarean. The mother, a gorgeous Cavalier King Charles spaniel, was still drowsy from the anaesthetic, but she was contentedly feeding her two puppies, a boy and a girl.
‘How are you doing, Coco?’ Addie crooned softly to the mother, while stroking the tiny backs of the puppies.
‘There’s someone here to see you.’ Sanaya, the night shift nurse who was to take over from Addie’s shift, popped her head around the door and added in a stage whisper. ‘Tall, dark, handsome. Said it was urgent.’
Addie’s heart skipped. Her skin tightened. Her pulse raced. Her dying hopes breathed in a breath of much-needed air. She moved back from the puppies’ crate and tried to get her emotions under control. ‘Thanks. I’ll be out in a second.’
‘A second is too long,’ Vic said and strode in as if on a mission no force on the face of the earth could distract him from.
‘Sir, you can’t just storm in here—’ Sanaya said, looking cross and flustered at the same time.
‘It’s okay,’ Addie said. ‘Can you take over reception for a couple of minutes?’
Sanaya nodded and giving Vic an up and down look, went back out to reception.
‘It was rather rude of you to barge in here—’ Addie began.
Vic took her by the upper arms in a grasp that was so firm it was almost painful.
He looked haggard, his eyes had dark shadows beneath them, he had lost weight and his hair looked like it had been repeatedly combed with his fingers.
‘Do you know the agonies I’ve gone through tonight?
I’ve been waiting outside your flat, calling you repeatedly on the phone, sending message after message, but you didn’t answer or show up.
I thought something might have happened to you. ’
‘As you can see, I’m alive and kicking, well not exactly kicking but you get the drift.’
He pulled her against his chest, hugging her so tightly she thought he might crack a rib. ‘Oh, tesore mio , I’ve gone through hell and back, not just tonight but the last three weeks.’
Addie eased out of his hold to look up at him, her heart beating so fast it was hard for her to speak. ‘Y-you have?’
His eyes lost their look of despair and a smile turned up the corners of his mouth. ‘It’s so wonderful to see you. I’ve missed you so much.’
‘Y-you have?’
‘I have been a fool. A ridiculous fool to let you go. Can you ever forgive me?’
Addie was trying not to get too excited unless she was mistaken about his reason for coming here to see her, but how could she not feel anything but excitement?
Nothing could have prepared her for this.
It was like a miracle to see him standing before her, begging for her forgiveness. ‘Of course I forgive you.’
Vic hugged her again, his chin resting on the top of her head.
She breathed in the scent of him like it was a drug to ease her cravings.
‘I can’t believe I didn’t realise what I felt about you until now.
’ He pulled back to look down at her with earnestness shining in his dark gaze. ‘I love you to the core of my being.’
Addie’s heart missed a beat, her stomach went into freefall and her hopes got out of a coma and did a happy dance. ‘You do? Really?’
‘I love everything about you. You have changed everything for me. You made me realise how locked down I was, how cowardly I was to block myself from feeling like this. I love you so much and want to be with you for ever.’
Addie blinked back tears. ‘Are you…?’ She couldn’t finish the sentence because she was so overcome with joy.
‘Yes, I am proposing, but I’ll be damned if I’ll do it in an animal hospital in front of a dog and her puppies,’ Vic said, smiling broadly.
‘First time for everything,’ Addie said, smiling back at him.
‘I don’t have a ring yet. The shops were closed when I finally came to my senses.
I went straight to your flat, hoping to find you at home.
’ A flicker of anguish went through his gaze and his throat moved up and down over a convulsive swallow.
‘I thought I might have lost you before I got to tell you how much I love and adore you. I can never forgive myself for being so stubborn and too proud to own what I felt.’ His voice was rough around the edges and his eyes glistened with moisture.
‘Will you marry me, tesore mio ? Will you make a family with me and live part of the time at the villa?’
‘Yes, a thousand million times yes,’ Addie said, but then she gave him a puzzled frown and added, ‘But isn’t the villa going to be a hotel?’
He smiled and gathered her close again. ‘That was another thing I was ignorant and stubborn about. The villa holds so many good memories after our time together there. I can’t bear to part with it now.
I want it to become a home again even though it’s too big, but we can have a couple of kids, maybe more and—’
Addie’s heart skipped and danced with joy. ‘You want kids?’
‘I haven’t until now,’ Vic said. ‘But realising how much I love you has made me want the whole package. The fairytale as you call it.’
‘You deserve it.’
He looked at her with such love it made her heart contract.
‘I’m not sure I deserve to be this happy, but I can’t imagine living my life without you by my side.
You have taught me so much about being true to myself.
I haven’t been living the life my father wanted for me.
He would want me to find love like he did and support and protect my family to the best of my ability. ’
Addie hugged him and choked back a sob. ‘You are such a wonderful person, Vic. Your father would be so proud of the man you’ve become. It’s so sad he isn’t here to share our joy, but he lives on in you, in the qualities he gave you.’
Coco shuffled in the crate behind Vic and one of the puppies gave a little squeak as it came off its mother’s nipple. Addie turned with Vic to look at the mother and babies, his arm firm around her waist.
‘This has been rather an eventful day for Coco. She had an emergency caesarean this morning and now she has witnessed your proposal,’ Addie said with a beaming smile.
Vic turned her in his arms, his eyes glinting. ‘There’s one more thing I have to do.’
‘What’s that?’
‘This.’
And he leaned down and kissed her for so long Coco gave a contented sigh and went back to sleep.