Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
RUE
“It’s warm and cozy here with you.” I snuggled against Shem, and he stroked my hair. “Can’t we just stay in bed all day?”
“We have a world to save.” He kissed the top of my head. “But I’d like nothing better than to stay here with you. Forever.”
I closed my eyes and reveled in the moment. These moments of bliss in a world that had fallen into chaos were few and far between. They were tiny treasures to be memorized and savored every time shit hit the fan.
“Rue, you need to wake up and eat something.”
“I thought we were staying in bed to snuggle?”
He shook me.
“Shem, stop it.”
The hand on my shoulder stilled, and the warm, fuzzy feeling evaporated as the dream slipped away.
“Are you awake now?” Gabriel asked gently.
I was awake, but I needed a moment to battle the crushing weight of despair that had settled on my chest.
Gabriel sighed. “I’m sorry to pull you from your dreams, but you need to eat.”
I sat up, clutching the blanket to my chest. “Thank you.”
He opened a protein bar and held it out, but the thought of food made my stomach queasy. Hunger was a thing of the past, and even though I knew my body needed food, I didn’t crave it.
He broke off a piece and held it up to my lips. “Please.”
My stupid eyes heated as I accepted the offering. He fed me the rest, piece by piece, in silence, then handed me a bottle of water.
“It will get easier with time. I can promise you that,” he said.
“I don’t know if I want it to get easier. I don’t want to forget.”
“You won’t forget, Rue. But the memories you have won’t cause you so much pain.”
Pain…the dream had left me in pain. Left me with an aching void inside that felt like it would never be filled. Shem had taken a part of me into oblivion with him, and I would never be whole again.
“Get some sleep,” Gabriel said.
“I don’t want to dream.”
He pressed his lips together. “I can lie with you if you like. We can talk.”
I forced my lips into a smile that echoed my gratitude. “I’d like that.”
He handed me my clothes. “You might want to put these on first.”
He turned away while I dressed. “I’m done.”
We settled under the blanket together, face to face this time because spooning was much too intimate when I wasn’t freezing to death.
“How long till dawn, do you think?”
“I’m not sure,” he said. “Several hours…The locals have agreed to escort us to the bridge. They’ll also provide us with some furs for you and Jilyana.”
Jilyana…Shit. “She knows about Lucifer now.”
His expression was serious. “Yes, so be on your guard.”
He still didn’t trust her. “I know she did some bad shit, believe me I know, but she’s trying to atone.”
“That’s her story, and if it’s true, then we have lost nothing, but if she’s lying and we’re not on our guard, then we risk losing everything.”
“Even if she did want the relics, now she knows we’re taking them to Lucifer, her plan is fucked.
She won’t get a chance to steal them off us when we get out of here because we’ll no longer have them.
” But I didn’t believe that. I didn’t believe Jilyana would betray us.
Betraying us would negate everything Shem stood for.
It would be a slap in the face to his sacrifice.
“Will you promise me something?” Gabriel asked.
“What?”
“You won’t hand over those relics until I’ve spoken to Lucifer.”
“Why?”
“I just need to gauge her true intentions.”
“You think she lied? That she can’t fix things?”
“I’m concerned what will happen to you once Lucifer is whole and in control of her power again. What she will do to a mortal able to channel the power that belongs to her.”
My pulse skipped. “I…I didn’t think about that.”
“That’s why you have me, Rue. I’ll always consider every angle.”
“Do you think she’ll kill me? No. Don’t answer that. It doesn’t matter. As long as she saves my world, I don’t care what happens to me. Shem isn’t the only one who can make a sacrifice.”
“And what about Bastian? You think he’d be happy hearing you speak like this?”
He didn’t know Bastian at all. “Bastian would do the same thing if it meant saving humanity.”
His mouth tightened at the corners. “Well, I won’t allow it to come to that.”
“What?” I smiled up at him playfully. “You’ll fight Lucifer? God’s favorite?”
His gaze bore into me with intensity. “Yes, Rue. I will fight to keep you safe. Always.”
My pulse sped up, and the urge to press closer to him washed over me. “This bond thing is powerful, isn’t it?” I was aiming for a light, teasing tone but delivered an intimate whisper instead.
Gabriel slid his hand into my hair, angling my head so our mouths were inches apart. “This isn’t just the bond, Rue, but if it’s easier for you to believe that, then so be it.”
I wanted him to kiss me, but I needed him to stop touching me. I wanted him to pull me into his arms, but I needed space from him.
He slowly pulled away. Had he sensed the tumult of emotions bubbling inside me?
“This bond isn’t going anywhere, Rue, but I swear to you that I won’t let it ruin our friendship.”
Friendship. Yes. We were friends. I needed that. “Thank you.”
“Now close your eyes. Rest.”
I didn’t want to dream of Shem, not while I was lying with Gabriel, but my eyelids were heavy, and I needed to recharge before the rest of our journey.
So I tucked my arms against my chest, dropped my forehead to his collarbone, and closed my eyes.
After a few moments, he put his arm around me, and when I didn’t protest, he relaxed.
A few weeks ago, if someone had described Gabriel as sweet, I’d have laughed in their face.
Gabriel was a strategist, a warrior, a rebel, but he was also considerate, empathic, kind, and…
sweet. Yes. Gabriel was sweet, and with all the bitterness in my life right now, I could do with a little sweet.
I’d take what I could get and hope that it didn’t become an addiction.
That he didn’t become an addiction.