Chapter 5
Ava
I can’t believe I just… blurted that out to Skylar.
What were you thinking, Ava?
I was thinking I didn’t want her to be worried I spent last night stress cleaning. I was thinking I wanted her to be proud of me for putting myself out there. I wanted to prove to myself—and to someone else—I’m not stuck in the past.
I’m moving into the future, ready for whatever life throws at me.
Even if it scares the shit out of me.
Even if I don’t really want anyone I’ve swiped right on. I’ve been asked to meet for coffee or drinks, but I’ve declined every invitation.
I just don’t feel the… spark making me want to text someone all the time. The kind of giddy feeling I usually get when I have a crush. The desire to deep dive into someone and know what makes them tick.
Maybe I’m being unrealistic. Maybe adult relationships aren’t like that. Maybe it’s more of a slow, gradual burn instead of an instant spark.
Either way, I mute my dating app notifications because today isn’t about finding someone new, it’s about relaxing with my best friend and recuperating after a rough week of single parenting.
Skylar, the over-preparer, brought enough snacks to tide us over if we were to get snowed in for a week, along with all the fixings for mojitos—my drink of choice.
I don’t drink alcohol very often because I can’t be without my faculties if the kids need me to drive them to the emergency room, but sometimes I let myself have a few drinks on the nights I don’t have them.
When I first told Sky I’d left the church, she came over and made me a flight of different cocktails so I would always have a go-to when we went out.
“Everyone needs a go-to drink.”
I don’t know if it’s true or if she just wanted to test out her mixology skills, but we had a fun night, and it was nice to not have to go to a bar and pay for drinks I may or may not like.
I made her wait until after lunch to start on the alcohol because I didn’t think drinking before noon was a very responsible thing to do.
She disagreed but didn’t fight me on it.
As soon as the clock struck one, though, she made us both the best cocktails I’ve ever had.
I’d expect nothing less from my best friend.
She wants the best of everything, which includes expensive rum for our drinks and the freshest limes she can find.
We’ve washed off our face masks, and my skin is feeling hydrated and plump.
At least, it’s what the package boasted.
I’m not huge into skincare. I have a face cream Skylar bullied me into buying and a generic brand face wash, but I don’t have time—or energy—for an elaborate routine like Sky’s.
I bet she brought her fifteen step routine for our sleepover.
Other than getting up to wash off the mask, we’ve been lounging on the couch eating pastries and the various munchies she brought, pausing the show to critique the dancers even though we are severely underqualified.
Skylar gets into these reality shows. She picks her favorite contestants and yells at the TV on their behalf when they’re treated unfairly in her eyes. She argues with the judges like they can hear her.
This season, she’s decided the US men’s gymnast who specializes in the parallel bars is her baby, and every time he gets a low score, she boos the judges.
I have to stifle a giggle every time.
“Why is he your favorite again?” I ask in the middle of watching him and his partner do the foxtrot.
“Look at him! The glasses? The smile? He’s a little baby angel! He’s so enthusiastic and willing to learn new things.” She shakes her head. “No one’s giving him the credit or recognition he deserves.”
I pat her thigh. “It’ll be okay. They’re not going to kick him off yet. He brought in a ton of views this season. We already know he makes it to the finals.”
Skylar crosses her arms and takes an aggressive sip of her mojito. Her cheeks are starting to flush from the alcohol and how fired up she’s getting. She’s so fucking pretty.
“I know, but I’m still mad they’re not scoring him higher.”
Before I can respond, my phone rings with an incoming call from Shea.
Skylar pauses the show, and I answer, my anxiety spiking.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Ava. How’s it going?”
“Is something wrong with the kids? Are they okay?” I ask instead of answering. I wish he’d just get to the point.
Shea huffs. “They’re great. Which is why I’m calling. Zoe woke up this morning chipper and happy as ever, so I asked the kids if they wanted to meet Alisa today… and they said yes.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and shake my head. Shea has a tendency to switch up plans at the last minute, and it irks me to no end. He did it when we were married, too, and I just let it happen to keep him happy.
“I wish you would have stuck with the original plan, Shea. I think it’s better for everyone if Zoe stays home.”
“Well, we are staying home. Alisa is joining us for our movie marathon.”
I barely hold in my sigh. “Are you sure you’re serious about her? Like, truly? And she’s safe for our kids?”
Shea doesn’t hold in his frustrated huff. “I’m positive. I think she’s the one.”
What a thing to tell your ex-wife.
“Okay. You get to deal with the aftermath if the kids get attached and you two break up.” I say it, but I know I will be the one picking up the pieces if my kids get attached. Shea will try to pretend Alisa never existed. I’m sure if he could do that with me, he would.
“Got it. You know, I only called to tell you as a courtesy. I don’t have to run my romantic relationships by you. I don’t have to consult you before introducing someone to the kids.”
Apparently, Sky can hear Shea’s side of the conversation because she scoffs and flips off the phone.
"You’re right, you don’t. But I appreciate when you do. Wouldn’t you want to know if the kids were meeting my significant other?”
“When you start dating again, sure. But I doubt it’ll happen anytime soon. Anyway, I’ve got to go. See you tomorrow, Ava.”
I don’t get to say anything before he hangs up.
“What an asshat,” Skylar says around a mouthful of popcorn.
I don’t like to trash talk the father of my children. He’s not a terrible person, but sometimes he does things which irritate me.
Like saying he doesn’t think I’ll date any time soon. He may not be wrong, but it doesn’t give him the right to be a dick about it.
“He’s just excited for the kids to meet his new girlfriend. If I weren’t in the picture, he wouldn’t have to worry about involving someone else in his relationship.”
“If you weren’t in the picture he wouldn’t have kids. You don’t have to make excuses for him just because you were married. You can acknowledge what he’s doing is a douche move.”
I sigh. “It was a bit of a douchey move. Part of me feels like I’m bitter because he’s been able to move on so quickly, and I haven’t.
But I also feel like there’s a double standard, you know?
Everyone says single dads are so hot, but no one wants a single mom who works all the time and is too tired to go out on the weekends. ”
Skylar twists so she’s facing me on the couch and grabs both of my hands in hers. Have the sparks when we touch always been there? “Ava, you’re a fucking catch. Anyone would be lucky to date you. Your kids are an amazing bonus, and if someone doesn’t see it then fuck them.”
Tears burn behind my eyelids, but I blink them away. Today isn’t supposed to be the Ava sob show. We’re supposed to be having a fun, relaxing time.
“Thank you, Sky. Truly, it means a lot.”
“And fuck your ex-husband for being a douche. Ooo, should we stalk his new girlfriend on social media? What’s her name?” Skylar picks up her phone, but I place a hand on it and shake my head.
“I already did my FBI research. Her name is Alisa, she’s twenty-three, and works as a dental hygienist. She’s got blue eyes, blonde hair, and looks like she’s never eaten a single carb in her life because her stomach is so flat you could eat off of it.”
Skylar scrunches her nose. “Twenty-three? Isn’t Shea almost thirty?”
“Yep.” I pop the “p.”
She pretends to gag, making me laugh.
“Well, I hope for your sake she’s an angel in scrubs. If she doesn’t treat Zo and Gus right, I’m not afraid to inconvenience her with petty legal lawsuits.”
“Thanks, Sky. Gus and Zo are lucky to have you in their life. I’m lucky to have you in my life.”
“What are best friends for?” she says, but her smile is a little sad.
She probably feels sad for me. Skylar’s always worn her feelings on her sleeve.
“Okay, enough sadness.” I clap my hands together. “Let’s make more mojitos.”