Chapter 10
Ava
I think I’ve been doing a good job of acting like everything between Skylar and me is normal in the last week.
She’s doing a hell of a job herself. If I hadn’t been there with her, I wouldn’t have a single inkling anything happened.
It hurts more than I was expecting it to.
And dammit, all I can think about is how I want more.
My brain has been working in overdrive trying to reassure me this is what we agreed to. This is what I wanted. I wanted to experience what it was like being with a woman for the first time with someone I trust, and Skylar gave me that gift.
I can go out and date and find someone new to help me move on.
So why do I still feel wary of joining the dating scene?
I deleted the dating apps in a panic, and honestly, I have no desire to download them again.
I just want to be with Skylar.
But we agreed to one time. If she wanted more—wanted to explore things further—she’d have said something.
Shaking off the feelings of rejection once again slithering into my psyche, I go back to the task at hand.
Mr. Jolley asked me to order lunch for the staff since they’re working late most of this week to prepare for the high-profile client who has a hearing coming up.
I don’t fully understand everything that goes on in the legal aspect or what they do, but I know Skylar works her ass off and usually takes a day or two off after a case this big because she’s drained.
I wish there was a way I could help her.
I grab my notebook and pen, making my rounds around the office to grab lunch orders, saving the paralegal team—specifically one paralegal—for last.
By the time I reach the cubicles for the paralegals, my hands are shaking with nerves, and I hate it.
I never got nervous like this around her before. But I’d also never tasted her. I’d never heard the husky way she moans when she comes or seen her thighs shake from pleasure. Never had her call me a “good girl” while tasting the sweetness between her legs.
Great, now I’m all hot and bothered on a Wednesday afternoon in the office.
I’m constantly worried I’m going to let on that something happened, and she’s going to tell me we can’t be friends anymore because I make her uncomfortable, and I just can’t let that happen.
I can’t lose her.
When I get to the room with the cubicles, Skylar is the only person there, and when she sees me leaning in the entryway, the scowl she was wearing turns into a soft smile.
“Hey, Aves. What’s up?”
I hold up the notepad and shake it. “Lunch orders. Do you want your usual from Leeway’s?”
Skylar stands from her chair, raising her arms above her head and twisting from side to side. The action causes her buttoned up blouse to stretch over her large breasts, and my gaze automatically falls there.
“Yeah, my usual is fine.” Skylar’s voice makes my gaze snap back up to her face, and I feel like a freaking pervert for ogling her.
I scribble her name—barely resisting the urge to add a heart around it—and her usual chicken crisp wrap with a side of battered fries.
“Cool, um, do you know where the other paralegals are so I can get their orders?”
Skylar nods. “Leah is in with Jukes working on a briefing, Cole is out sick today, the little shit, and Jamie is in the copy room doing… something. I’ve been nose deep in evidence exhibits for the last two hours making sure everything matches up.”
“Oh. Okay, I haven’t gotten Mr. Jukes’ order, so I’ll go find Jamie and then grab—”
“Or you could sit with me for a minute. I feel like we’ve barely seen each other the last week and a half. Have you been avoiding me?”
I swallow harshly and pick at the corner of my legal pad. I haven’t been avoiding her per se, but I have made it a bit more difficult for us to see each other. We haven’t even had lunch together, and we usually do at least once a week.
“N-no I haven’t been avoiding you,” I whisper, but I don’t—can’t—look her in the eyes.
Skylar’s footsteps are muffled on the carpet as she rounds her cubicle and stands directly in front of me.
“Try again, Ava. But this time, make it believable.”
I huff out a laugh through my nose and roll my eyes. “I’m just trying not to make things weird after… you know.”
“After we made each other come on your couch?” she says far too loudly.
I cover her mouth with my hand and hiss, “Are you crazy? Keep it down!”
Skylar laughs and takes my hand off her mouth, holding it in her own. “Why? I’m not embarrassed about it. Are you?”
If I didn’t know Sky as well as I do, I’d think she was just teasing, but I can see the flash of vulnerability.
Maybe she’s not as unaffected as I thought. Maybe… maybe she’s just as affected as I am.
“No, I’m not embarrassed about it. But we agreed not to talk about it. We agreed to go back to being friends like nothing happened and…” I trail off, not wanting to admit it’s all I can think about. I want to do it again—want to learn more from her.
I have so many questions and things I want to try, and all of them center around Skylar.
Skylar steps closer, effectively caging me against the entryway arch. “And… what, Ava?”
I suck in a sharp breath at how close she is. She smells good, just like she does every day. She’s wearing her fancy perfume; it smells like sandalwood and something citrusy, it’s dizzying being this close to her again.
“I-I think I was wrong,” I stammer. “I have more questions. More things I want to learn and experience before I’m ready to put myself out into the dating scene.”
Skylar’s brows furrow. “What kind of things?”
“L-like how to use a strap-on and how it compares to a real penis o-or what scissoring feels like. How to make someone squirt…” I trail off, squeezing my thighs together. This conversation isn’t even remotely work appropriate, and I don’t want to say anything else that might scare her off.
Skylar’s big brown eyes blink at me once, twice, then she smirks. “One taste wasn’t enough for you, huh? It didn’t satisfy the hunger for knowledge in your beautiful brain?”
I shake my head.
Before Skylar can say anything else, an echo of voices gets louder, and I know they’re heading right for us.
Skylar steps back right before Jamie and Leah appear.
They glance between me and Skylar with curious gazes, so I clear my throat and try to plaster on a smile. “Hey, uh, we’re ordering lunch from Leeway’s. I was just coming to get orders. What do you two want?”
They rattle off their orders, and I jot them down, and I wonder if they can feel the taut string of tension between Sky and me.
“Great, I’ll be around to deliver it when it comes. Have a good day.” I give them a nod and then scurry back to my desk and take a deep breath.
My phone beeps with a text, and when I see Skylar’s message, my stomach flops.
SKY: We’re not done with our conversation. Have lunch with me tomorrow?
AVA: Okay.
What is she going to say to me? Is she going to end our friendship and tell me I’m crazy? Is she going to scold me for not following our deal and bringing it up again?
The anxiety threatens to overwhelm me, and I’m grateful I have an appointment with my therapist after work on Friday.