Chapter 11
Skylar
This is a stupid idea, Skylar Jane Call. You’re just setting yourself up for more heartbreak.
Yeah, I definitely am, but Ava’s been avoiding me, and I’ve been so distracted I almost missed an important clause in the case we’re working on.
I didn’t, thank God, but it was a close call.
My best friend was distracting before, but it was mostly worrying about her wellbeing and wondering if there was anything I could do to help make her life as a single mom easier. Now I know how fucking delicious she is when she comes.
Now all I can think about is what it would be like to wake her up with my mouth on her pussy, make her come before the day has even started.
I daydream of being able to steal her away during lunch and kiss her silly before we go back to the office.
In other words, I’m totally fucked because I was already in love with her, but the feeling intensified after the intimacy we shared on her couch.
We agreed to go back to normal, but then she had to go and confess all the things she was curious about, and the jealous monster inside me started to rear its head, deciding no one else was going to teach her.
Now I’m waiting for her to meet me in the lobby so we can get lunch and I can offer myself on a platter for her to use as she pleases until she feels like she’s ready to discard me and move on with someone else.
I’m only focusing on the part where I get to continue teaching Ava all the things she’s missed out on.
I’ll deal with the inevitable heartbreak later.
Ava’s on the phone when she appears in the lobby, a look of irritation on her face.
I don’t know why she tries to hide any emotion other than happiness, but it pisses me off.
I blame her shitty ex.
“Shea, I can’t miss my therapy appointment. You agreed to this over three weeks ago!” Ava’s eyes flutter closed. “No, I can’t take the kids with me!” Another pause, and I can hear Shea’s muffled voice. “Yes, I understand her parents will only be here for two nights, but can’t you just—”
Ava pinches the bridge of her nose. “I’ll figure it out then. Good luck meeting her parents. Bye.”
She angrily pushes the red button and shoves her phone in her purse.
“What’s wrong?” I ask gently.
She groans. “I have a therapy appointment tomorrow after work, and Shea’s known about it for the last three weeks.
He agreed to pick up the kids and keep them until I’m done, but apparently, Alisa’s parents are coming into town this weekend, and they want to meet him so he can’t pick them up anymore. ”
“Why can’t he just schedule it for after you pick the kids up at what, five? Or wait until Saturday?”
Ava throws up her hands. “I don’t know. I suggested the same thing, and he snapped at me and told me his life doesn’t revolve around me anymore. He said since it’s my weekend with the kids, I need to figure it out.”
I shake my head. “What a bitch. I will pick the kids up and take them to your house so you don’t have to miss therapy. I know how important it is to you.”
Ava shakes her head. “No, I can’t let you do that. You guys are on a deadline, and I know you’ll need to stay late and—”
Without thinking I put a finger to her lips. “We’re ahead on our preparation for the case, and Jamie and Leah can cover for me so I can help you. Let me help you, please.”
I can tell she wants to say no. She hates being taken care of or showing any sign of weakness. She thinks she has to shoulder everything by herself to prove she’s a capable mom, but I wish she’d see asking for help doesn’t make her weak.
Finally, her shoulders drop. “Okay. Thank you. Lunch is on me.”
Yeah, no. She gets paid well here, but not as well as I do, and I don’t have kids I need to buy things for. I don’t tell her there’s no way in hell she’s paying for lunch, though.
“You don’t need to thank me, Aves. I’m happy to help you.”
We make small talk on the short walk to the café and again while we wait for our food to be brought out. Things like how Gus is doing in school and Zoe’s latest shenanigans. The fun things Ava wants to do during the summer.
I ask questions and answer when prompted, and I feel bad because I’m only half paying attention. I just barely keep my leg from bouncing out of anxiety.
I’m waiting for the right opening for my suggestion, and I finally have it when she asks me what my plans are for the weekend.
“Meal prepping and sleeping before the chaos of next week. But next weekend… I was wondering if you’d want to have another sleepover.”
Ava’s fork clatters to her plate, and she mutters a quiet, “Sorry,” before she picks it up. “W-why do I feel like you have more than just watching Celebrity Dance Off in mind for a sleepover?”
“Because I do.” I lean in and whisper, so no one overhears, “I want to help you explore, Ava.”
Ava’s pretty pink lips part, and her cheeks flush. “Explore, meaning—”
“Yeah. I want to teach you all of the things you want to know. I want to show you everything you’re curious about.”
Ava swallows, taking a sip of ice water while she mulls over my words before she finally asks, “Why?”
I want to tell her the truth. I’ve been in love with her for thirteen years, and the thought of anyone else teaching her makes me want to throw my plate at the wall.
I want to tell her I’m so gone for her I’ll take whatever she’ll give me, even if it’s just the physical parts and not her whole heart.
I can’t tell her the truth, though. At least not all of it.
“I want you to feel confident in yourself—in your body and in your sexuality. I want to help you learn what you like, so eventually…” I take a deep breath.
The next words stick to my mouth like they’re hesitant to even come out.
“Eventually when you start dating again, there’s nothing holding you back. ”
Ava’s pale cheeks turn an even deeper pink, and the color reminds me of the way her whole body flushes when she’s turned on.
Focus, Skylar.
“But what would you get out of it? It feels selfish of me to—to basically use you as a learning tool.” She locks her eyes on mine and says with so much sincerity, “The last thing I want to do is use you, Sky.”
Oh, this sweet, sweet woman.
“It’s not a hardship to give you pleasure, sweetheart. Nor is it a hardship to be on the receiving end of your eager little mouth. As for being used, I don’t feel that way. You’re not forcing me to offer, and I’m not doing it out of obligation. I want to do this. Let me help you, Ava. Please.”
Ava gulps down another mouthful of cold water, and I can tell she’s trying really hard to find a reason to say no.
But I see it—the desire in her eyes. I see she wants to give in and say yes.
Her curiosity must outweigh whatever doubts she has.
“Okay. You can help me. But I’m going to find a way to repay you for it. This is a huge thing, Sky, and I don’t want to lose you over it. I don’t want either of us to be hurt.”
“No one’s going to get hurt if we walk into this knowing what it is.”
I know it’s a lie as soon as it leaves my mouth.
This is a terrible idea. A slippery slope which will only lead to someone—probably me—being absolutely destroyed.
But my God, what a ride to destruction it will be.