Chapter 39
SOREN
Watching Esper in her natural design element is a dizzying rush of vibrant colors and multiple shopping carts.
After showing her the new nest and bedroom, she was more than ready to hit the shops, and my card is burning a hole in my pocket to spoil my omega.
Neven came along, trailing behind me in these ridiculous skinny-ass aisles.
She wanted to hit the nest store after she warmed up.
She spent the night scrolling on her phone and creating mood boards in my bed where I could tend to my bond on her beautiful neck.
Finally at around three in the morning, when she dropped her phone on my face for the fourth time, waking me up again, I told her to get some sleep.
The store is color-coded, meaning Esper has both of us running back and forth between the gray and pink aisles, fetching and returning item after item while she decides which decor pieces go together.
“So what do we think about this pillow with this one?” she asks and I nod, very much tired of the matching questions but would rather be here with her than anywhere else.
She nods, turning back to her pillows. She ends up telling us to stay here while she goes to grab another one. I lean against the cart as Neven takes her place, his hands grabbing the other end of the cart.
“What are we gonna do about Reed?” His voice is low, probably hoping she wouldn’t overhear him. I shrug, not amused by the omega’s antics.
“He can choke on a dick.”
“Seriously.” Neven glares at me and I just stare at him back.
“He can seriously choke on a—”
“What about pink pillows and this throw blanket with pink and gray on it?” Esper’s voice cuts over ours and I smile, as much as I can, toward my omega and nod.
“That’s the one,” I say and she yips with excitement, then drops them in the cart.
“Doesn’t she know they have pillows and blankets at the nest store?” Neven asks and I nod. The dude has a lot on his mind and missed her whole spiel on the way here.
“These are for the living room. Keep up,” I say, pushing the cart to follow my omega. If he wants to solve everyone’s problems, he could’ve kept his ass at the Plaza. This is Esper decorating time.
She mutters to herself, turning on her heel towards the reds section.
“Okay, Ash likes red and green, but it's hard not to go Christmasy with that… How about we do a red blanket for him, and the green will come in through the plant decorations.” She has a list, having had colors for each of us. Neven was dark green, I was dark gray, and Red’s ungrateful ass was black. She was pink and gray.
Neven pulls the back of my shirt, and I sigh as I turn to face him.
“Aren't you the lead alpha? Figure it out,” I say and he sighs, running a hand over his chin.
"We're a Pack. We do things together.”
We are a Pack. But they aren't bonded. They don’t feel the whiplash of emotion in Esper every time she thinks about Red. Every lash of sadness in her feels like a personal failure, and I can’t fucking stand that I can’t pummel the idiot who is making her feel like this.
She told me not to. Though sometimes a nice ass-whooping gets your mind straight.
Though some of us are too damn hardheaded to get the message through that way. Myself included. Nothing could keep me away from Esper.
Not my brothers, not the Outlaws, and damn sure not Reed.
Turning back to the cart, I wring my hands together as I watch Esper down the way. Twisting my rings, I think about the lost omega.
Who also is my friend and Pack member.
Being my friend, I know Red is just scared. But babying him is never gonna help him. Never has, never will. He needs structure, consequences, and the moment he gets that, things will click.
Time and space, that’s what he needs. I’m working with Esper and now Neven to give him just that.
I do care for the fool. Despite how pummel-able I find him at the current moment.
Neven’s still right, of course. We’re a Pack, we figure this shit out together. But how can we when I don’t understand his problem? I don’t understand what he’s scared of. Not only did fate tie us together, but she chose us.
What's there to argue with?
“He’s scared.”
“Don’t let him hear you say that,” I say and Neven shoves my shoulder. “Honestly, Neven. I don’t think this is something we can fix. We can’t fix years of him programming himself into believing he doesn't get to have a Pack. He has to work this out on his own.”
“He might… he might lose her if we try to wait him out.”
“And whose fault will that be?”
“We can’t force him to do anything he doesn’t want to do.” Esper's sad, steady voice makes us both jump. I want to soothe her, to make everything right. I get Neven’s trying to do just that, but we can’t. It’s not possible.
Still, I grab her forearm and pull her into my chest, kissing her forehead and letting her step back again.
“I can’t keep doing this with him. If he doesn't want me then… it is what it is.”
“Did he say that?”
Neven’s attempts to assuage her worries don’t work. Not this time. Esper’s face remains impassive, resigned even. “No. But—”
“Then that’s not what he wants.”
“Actions speak louder than words, don't they? He hasn’t spoken to me since the argument, let alone seen me. He leaves early and comes back late. He’s avoiding me.
It’s been three days, Neven. I got the message.
Now”—She huffs holding out two blankets, her grip harsh on both as her eyes well with tears that she won’t let fall—“stripes or waves?”