Chapter 2
I can’t sleep. It’s five-something a.m. and I’ve been lying here trying to calm myself down since two-something a.m. but it’s not working. I don’t have anything on until this afternoon, so at 6 a.m. I give up completely and sneak out to the gym in the hope some exercise will clear my head and tire me out.
I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but only last night did I believe it. I don’t want to fuck around anymore. I want more from my interactions with the opposite sex. I want more for myself. I wasn’t ready for a relationship before. I would have been a terrible boyfriend for Eliza. I had some healing and growing up to do, and now I’ve come back feeling like something’s different. Like I’m different. I’ve evolved. I’m not the hothead I used to be, and I’ve got therapy to thank for that. Bobby started the moment Dad died, Mom a little bit before, but with my psych studies behind me, I thought I was above it; thought I was immune from needing help. In reality, I was too close to my problems to even see they were there. Or, maybe more truthfully, I chose not to see them.
“Could I take you out sometime, like for coffee or a smoothie or something?”
Yeah. That’s good. I’ve been spitballing ideas of what to say to Megan when I see her today so I’ll have something ready to go. Failing to prepare is preparing to fail. Has she been as restless as I’ve been, or was she out like a light after the night we had? I wanted to go back to hers, snuggle up with her and stroke her hair until she fell asleep. I wanna be the kind of guy who takes care of his girl. I want her to want me to be her guy. Or does she already?
“I’ve fancied you for a very long time.”
That was a joke, wasn’t it? A cute thing she said in the moment. I can’t see how else she’d know me. Unless my viral video really did worm its way into her algorithm.
Not a euphemism.
Thirty minutes down and I’m still not tired. In fact, I seem to gain more energy every time I think about Megan. But then my happy bubble pops when Harvey enters the gym. I’m surprised he’d rather be here than curled up in bed with Eliza.
Fuck.How did I forget about whatever mysterious ties Megan has with him? I know how, but…
“Up early, or did you never go to bed?” he asks with a mischievous look.
“I went to bed.” Eventually.
His lips form a tight, patronising smile as if he doesn’t believe me. I mean, he’d be right not to, but fuck him for being so quick to judge.
“What?” I challenge him.
He arches a brow and glances down at my neck. “You might need to get creative with how you cover that up.”
I wipe my neck, not sure what he means, but when he smirks and shakes his head, I step over to the back wall to inspect myself in the mirror. Ohhh, that’s why he was so cocky: Megan gave me a hickey. I head back over to my “boss”, who’s giving me a side-eye as if to say, “Already?” Yeah, okay, it’s not a great look, but I can’t find it in myself to be mad at her. She’s marked her territory, and now I’m even more excited to see her again so I can mark mine.
I jump on the shoulder press opposite Harvey and keep going with my routine. “What’s got you up so early?”
“Couldn’t fall back to sleep.”
“Something on your mind?”
“There’s just been a lot going on lately.”
It’s only then I really register the state of him. He looks…tired. And maybe not from the early start. Thinking back, he was a little withdrawn last night.
“Everything all right?” Worry unnerves me – not just because I’m suddenly concerned Eliza’s tangled up in whatever’s bothering him, but because I’m concerned for him too, which I didn’t see coming. It’s as if I’m feeling the weight on his shoulders simply by looking at him. “You and Eliza still good? Not liking the job?”
“Oh, yeah, no, all fine on those fronts. It’s…” He finishes his last rep and exhales. “Family stuff.”
“You wanna talk about it?”
He takes a sip of water and then takes a few tries to get his words out. “Actually, I came here to not think about it for five minutes, if that’s okay?”
“Yeah, man, no problem. But I’m here if you ever wanna talk.” See? Evolved.
“How’s internet fame?”
I shrug and move over to the leg press. “Fizzling out.”
“Oh. I thought things were going well?”
“Yeah, they are, I guess, but I’m here now, not gigging, so it’s not like I’m gonna have anything to post for the next six months.” It’s unfortunate, because I found a way to help people like I always wanted to, but on a way bigger scale. It’s fine though. Stand-up and TikTok will be there waiting for me when I finish this contract.
“Have you considered any other kinds of content?”
“Nah, I wouldn’t even know where to start.” I’ve never been a social media person, always preferring to live in the moment than tell everyone about it. Then I had everything going on with Dad, and the last thing I wanted was to be glued to my phone.
“You should speak to my sister.”
“You have a sister?”
He laughs. “Yep.”
Huh, I never knew that. Or maybe never listened if he mentioned her before. “How come?”
“She…just knows what she’s doing where all that’s concerned.”
A conversation couldn’t hurt, I guess. It might not work, but it could be worth a try. “Yeah, okay. Thanks. I’d appreciate that.”
I stick around after my workout to keep him company through his, and then we make our way below deck together.
“Oh! There she is,” he chimes.
“Who?”
Like the mirage she is, I spot Megan down the hall. Excitement thrums through me until I realise whose door she’s waiting outside of. His. What the hell is she doing near his bedroom?
“My sister.”
Oh no.
“Sorry. Give me five minutes to shower and we’ll go,” he says to her.
Oh no, no, no, no, no.
Megan’s eyes dart between me and her brother. I should have known she couldn’t be one hundred percent perfect. Something had to give. Of course she’s a Harvey.
“This is Tom.”
“Oh yeah, from the photo stream. Hi.” She gives a curt wave.
Photo stream?I look between them and finally see the resemblance. I knew there was something familiar about her.
“Hi.” I put on my most casual front, acting like I didn’t have my hand down her panties only a few hours ago.
“Tom’s trying to come up with ideas for TikTok content. Thought you might be able to help him.” Harvey taps his key card on the sensor to his big-boy cabin. “I’ll be quick, promise.” Before he goes, he takes one look back at me, his eyes dropping down to my neck. “I’ll see if Eliza has some concealer you can borrow.”
The crash of the heavy door swinging shut wakes us both up from this nightmare. I move us away from the door so there’s no chance of Harvey hearing us through it.
“Gem. Megan. I— If I had—” Fuck! “He can never find out about last night,” I say as quietly as possible.
Megan shakes her head with gut-wrenching fear in her eyes. “Never.”
I’m on his photo stream. I heard him mention it once or twice before, but I never would have connected the dots. So she knew who I was last night? She knew the drama this could cause, and she still went along with it?
“You shoulda told me.”
“You didn’t know?” Her brow twists in confusion. “I thought someone would have told you. And you said you shouldn’t… How did you not know? Everyone knows and I’ve never told a soul.”
It all makes sense now. Jack and Tiegan’s comments, why no one would greet her at the party… They all know who she’s related to and didn’t fancy losing their jobs over her.
“If I did, don’t you think I woulda got you outta there?”
She looks down at the ground. “I’m so sorry,” she mumbles, practically drowning in shame and guilt. Suddenly, I hear my words back and I hate myself. Who the fuck am I to make her feel bad for going to a sex party? “I just wanted one night without Oscar watching over me.”
My whole soul deflates. She’s come here for whatever reason and now she’s stuck hiding in his shadow. If anyone understands what that’s like, it’s me. She’s her own person, not some boring clone of his – why shouldn’t she be allowed to have her fun? I see now how easy it is to fall into the same pattern everyone else used to with me and Bobby.
“Hey, it’s okay.” I take her hand, and she looks up at me with scared puppy-dog eyes. “We got carried away together. It’ll be our secret.”
She relaxes at that.
“But it can’t happen again.”
She shakes her head in agreement.
“Besides, we didn’t do anything. Not really, if you think about it.”
She swallows. “Yeah. It was no big deal.” She lets go of my hand.
I’m already grieving all the dates we’ll never get to go on, all the mornings we won’t get to have, all the orgasms I’ll never get to give her… I’ve made a real point to work on my friendship with Harvey, and I’m pretty sure messing around with his sister would ruin all of that.
I look back over my shoulder to make sure the coast is still clear. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Um, thank you for not…uh…letting things escalate last night.”
I frown. “I’m sad you feel the need to thank me for that.” Which pushy asshole have I gotta punch around here? Say the word and I’ll deal with them.
“You were right. I would have regretted it,” she says earnestly, and it makes my heart sink with panic.
“Do you regret anything we did do?”
“Oh, no. I mean with this whole…thing?—”
The door opens and Harvey appears in nothing but a towel. Ew. He waves a shiny stick of something in the air, which I take from him, before he shuts himself away again.
“What do you need concealer for?” Megan asks.
I turn my head to the side to reveal the mark she left behind.
Her eyes widen. “I’m so sorry!”
“Don’t sweat it.”
When I realise the silence is only going to grow more uncomfortable, I make a move. “Guess I’ll see you around.”
We part ways, and I traipse back to my cabin for a shower. Jack’s getting ready when I arrive. All it takes is one look my way for him to understand my mood.
“You worked it out then?”
I only have it in me to glare at him.
“I told you it was a stupid idea.”
“Would it have killedyou to be more specific?”