Chapter 1
Four years. It took me four years to become an overnight success. I was happy – more than happy – just being a guy who entertained the people right in front of him, spreading the smiles one room at a time. But finding out I’ve made hundreds of thousands of people laugh with something I said in one small moment? That feels like magic. For all the stuff you hear about social media ruining lives and corrupting young minds, it has its positives too.
I needed this today
Not laughed like that in a while
You’ve made my week
Everyone who works on a ship has to take a minimum of six weeks off between contracts, so before my last one ended, I applied for a few comedy gigs at the stops along the road trip I was planning with my twin brother, Bobby, and prayed someone was willing to take a chance on an unknown like me. While a couple of places did have slots, most didn’t, but I was elated with whatever I could get.
The trip was about honouring and remembering our dad, and I can say without a doubt he was there with us every step of the way, because barely one week into it, someone’s clip of me performing went viral on TikTok, and the next thing I knew I was being offered gigs left, right, and centre. One forty-five-second video posted from the right account, and suddenly I was a somebody.
I hope whoever runs that account knows they’ve changed my life. I mean, they should know by now – I’ve DM’d them a million thank-yous.
I got to play so many venues I could only ever dream of performing in before that viral clip, and Bobby filmed my sets, like a good roadie should, so I could make a bunch of clips from them to post online. Every gig felt like another opportunity to be discovered. Like at any minute the right person could see me, and it would change everything, again. It pushed me to write all kinds of new material and play with the audiences more than ever. I was confident when I first started doing stand-up, though not that confident, but with six months of constantly entertaining people under my belt, I could work the audience like a charm without worrying about how to link it back into my routine.
My shiny new TikTok account is making a killing already. I have ten thousand followers, with more joining every day. I still can’t wrap my head around it. Though the attention will fizzle out soon, now I’m here. There’s only so much footage from my gigs I can keep cutting down until I have nothing left to post. It’s a shame for sure, but I’ve got no plans to end my cruising career anytime soon. Oh well, I can’t think about disappointing all my “fans” right now, because I’ve got the two people who matter the most standing in front of me.
“I thought you abandoned me!” Eliza frets against my chest as she squeezes the life out of me in the crew bar.
I decided to extend my leave by one week to fit in some actual time with Mom after our trip ran long. And because I wanted to do a few final gigs in Chicago before disappearing for another six months. I knew Eliza would have some catching up to do with Harvey that first week, so it’s not like I would have seen her much anyway.
“You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”
Eliza releases me and steps aside so I can hug the Big Friendly Giant lurking behind her.
“Jack!”
He takes a shy step forward, a huge grin breaking out on his face as his long arms wrap around me. I’ve been trying to catch him all day, but we kept missing each other in all the embarkation-day chaos. He was my roommate after Daniel, and even though we haven’t known each other for very long, I’d say he’s the best friend I’ve ever had. Male best friend, that is.
“What the hell is this?” I wiggle the knot of dirty-blond hair on top of his head. It was getting long before I left, but he always said he’d cut it before he had to tie it back.
“You can talk.” He tips his chin at my hair. I’ve grown it out while I’ve been away – the curls are a little more defined than when it was short, but I definitely couldn’t pull off a man bun.
“And what’s with the beard?” I examine the thick stubble on his face.
“Someone said I looked like Thor, so I’m keeping it.”
“Yeah, if he had a baby with the BFG.”
Jack’s part of the kids’ entertainment team, and during a movie night on one of his first weeks here, all the kids pointed out that he was like the Big Friendly Giant onscreen. Taller than anything, talks funny – I mean, Brits who speak any differently from the way Eliza does are funny to us Americans, but his Northern accent is hilarious – big ears, and he looks after children. So, yeah. Suffice to say I’ve never let him live it down.
As I pull out a chair at their table, Harvey strides in with themost beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on (sorry, Eliza). She looks my way and it’s as if time stops still. Her piercing blue eyes mesmerise me, and it’s not until she breaks eye contact that I can breathe again.
What the hell was that?
They exchange a few words before breaking apart, and to my disappointment, she doesn’t head this way. She takes a centring breath as if she’s frustrated and then walks over to another table. How about that? There’s someone else who doesn’t fall at Oscar Harvey’s feet… Now I really wanna meet her.
“Harvey.” I nod at him, extending my hand.
“Hey, Tom.” He copies me, and we shake. “Nice to have you back.” He studies me more. “You’ve bulked up a bit.”
“Mm, I’ve got my brother to thank for that.” We were on a tight schedule during our trip, but Bobby made sure to always fit in time for a workout. You’d think we were on a whistle-stop tour of all the fitness centres across the East Coast with the number of guest passes we got. And though I’m no stranger to the gym, Bobby’s routine is on a whole other level. When you see what you’re genetically capable of, there’s no excuse not to try. That and I always aimed to do one more set than he could despite struggling to even match him at first. “Gym date soon?”
He straightens with surprise then smiles. “Sure.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Eliza’s glowing more than usual. I know he and I have a…chequered history, but since he makes my favourite person happy, I’ll play nice.
We’re slowly joined by Sunshine, Louise, and a bunch of other new faces I’ll learn the names of eventually, but I can’t take my eyes off Harvey’s friend. Especially because I keep catching her looking over at me. I have the perfect view of her sitting a few tables over with the jocks and jockettes – otherwise known as the sports staff. She sits on the sidelines of their conversation, not contributing much from the looks of things. I’ve seen beautiful women, but she’s in a league of her own. Her chestnut-brown hair is tied back in a high ponytail, and the cutest bangs almost hide her eyes.She’s wearing the hell out of a cropped white tee and a short denim skirt. Casual, like she’s trying to blend in, but she could never not stand out. Her skin glows with a subtle tan, her pink?—
Harvey’s huge shoulders block my view, so I take a sip of my Jack and Coke and lean the other way.
As I was saying, her pink, pouted lips look like they could beam the brightest smile, her button nose somehow points up a little when she turns to the side, and I can’t see from here, but her arrival is already ingrained in my head, so I know she has long, slender legs and a slim figure. Assuming she’s one of the jockettes, she’s bound to be toned all over. And she has the most incredible?—
“So how was your trip?” Harvey interrupts my train of thought.
“Yeah, great, thanks.”
What was I—? Oh yeah, her breasts… Sweet Jesus, they could bring any guy to his knees. Damn. I’ve always considered myself an ass man, but I. Am. Hypnotised. Nope, Tit-notised.
“Did you make it to New York?”
I’m reluctantly dragged back into the conversation by Harvey, so I indulge him in the details of my time off even though I’m sure he doesn’t care, all the while keeping a less obvious eye on the girl behind him. She’s a welcome distraction from the way Harvey’s hand is secured to Eliza’s thigh, his thumb never letting up from stroking her. It wasn’t so long ago that it was my hand on Eliza under the table. How times have changed.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them – meh, happy for her, ambivalent for him – and I don’t want anything more than friendship with Eliza, but seeing them together still triggers me slightly. I got used to it, then I disappeared for two months, and now I have to get used to it all over again.
When the jockette walks up to the bar alone, my heart rate as good as triples. What a woman. I turn to Jack beside me. “Wanna get a drink?”
He looks at my mostly full glass on the table, smiles, then sweeps his gaze over to the bar. He knows our unspoken code: it’s wingman time, no questions asked. But his grin turns into an amused warning as he glances back at me.
“That…”—he pauses for emphasis and drops his voice so only I can hear him—“is a very stupid idea.”
“What? Taken?” It wouldn’t be surprising. I’m sure half the guys on this ship are tripping over themselves to ask her out.
“Nope.” He looks away from me, pretending to rejoin the conversation around the table. “Just a bad idea.”
Hell, if I’m not curious now.
With trouble no doubt written all over my face, I stand despite his advice, and as I knew he would, Jack stands too and accompanies me.
People always talk about the struggles of getting their sea legs, but I had more of a problem rediscovering my land legs. The ship’s steady for the most part; after a while you barely notice the mini adjustments you make every day while on board. But when I left the ship, I was all over the place for at least a week. Now I’m back, I feel like I’m finally able to walk straight.
I pick a spot along the bar near enough to her to be able to strike up a conversation naturally, but not so close that I’ll encroach on her personal space.
“How’s it been?” I ask Jack while we wait to be served.
“Quiet.”
I’m on my second six-month contract, and he’s on the third month of his first nine-month contract, so he’s spent the past seven weeks without me. Though he has other friends, he’s not as close with any of them as he is with me.
“I’m sure you found a way to keep things interesting.”
Jack’s a gentle soul, but he’s no stranger to the more…adventurousactivities ship life has to offer. Neither of us is.
Jack gives a wry smile. “Tiegan’s having a few people over tonight.”
Temptation warms my blood. Just a flashback to one of the theatre production manager’s parties I went to before means I now can’t think of a good enough reason to resist. Until I look to my right.
“I’ll think about it.”
My heart thumps in my chest while I wait for Harvey’s friend to order. Do I look okay? Are my palms sweaty? Why am I so nervous? I know how to talk to women. I’ve hit on more than my fair share in the past. I’m out of practice, that’s all.
Quit freaking out and shoot your shot, Parks.
“Hi.”
She looks my way, and the blush that spreads over her cheeks, as well as the tiniest smile curling her lips, is positively adorable. “Hi,” she says quietly before looking back down at her hands resting on the bar in front of her.
I place a hand on my chest and introduce myself in the hope she’ll do the same. “Tom.”
“I know who you are.” Beautiful and British. Man, I guess I’ve got a type.
Wait – has my internet fame reached the UK? Or… Shit. Do I have history with her? No, I’d remember. But something about her is strangely familiar. I can’t put my finger on what though.
I narrow my eyes as I attempt to figure it out. “Do I know you?”
At that, her slight smile falters and her whole body stiffens. “No.”
“You sure? I feel like I know you from somewhere. What’s your name?” It’s not a line, but it sounds like one.
The bartender hands over her drink. Soda and lime. The only other person I know who willingly drinks that is Harvey.
“I’m sure.”
Her words are blunt, I realise. To her, I’m probably another jerk acting like I’m entitled to her attention. She must get this all the time. When she doesn’t tell me her name, I let it slide. I consider paying for her drink, but I get the sense it’d make her even more uncomfortable, so I hold back and place an order for the drinks Jack and I don’t need.
“Have a good night.” I offer her the get-out she must desperately want. For some reason, she looks disappointed, but she collects her drink and heads back over to her table.
Damn.There go all the hopes and dreams I wished up for us in the past hour.
“You’ve got no game.” Jack mocks me once she’s out of range.
“Shut up. You know I have game.” I compose myself from the mild embarrassment, take our drinks, and head back to the table.
“Probably for the best,” Jack consoles me.
“What do you mean?”
He settles back in his seat, pretending his focus is no longer on me, but I know it is. He always wants to be aware of his surroundings. “Don’t worry about it.”
After a little while, we call it a night and go our separate ways. Watching Harvey and Eliza head back to their room together stirs up something I don’t want to put a name to, so I unpack quietly while Jack jumps in the shower, grateful he managed to secure us as roommates again. I’m sure the girl in charge of room selections is pretty grateful too, if I have to work out how he got in her favour.
“I thought you were over her,” Jack says when I don’t bombard him with a million thoughts like I usually do once he’s out of the shower.
“I am.” And that’s God’s honest truth. Eliza and I were always better off as friends. Took me a while to work that out, but… I just… I wish I had someone who wanted me the way she wants Harvey.
Jack pauses for thought before picking out a fresh T-shirt and pulling it on over his head. “Sure you’re not coming tonight?”
“I said I’d think about it.”
And I do think about it. No point pining for a path that isn’t mine when there’s a much easier route to take. It’s been two long months, but now it’s time to slip back into the role of ineligible bachelor I play so well. It’s way more comfortable than putting myself out there for something more again.
We’re the last ones to arrive at Tiegan’s, narrowly beating the cut-off point because I took a second to freshen up. Tiegan’s a little older than Jack and me, a little wiser too, and she holds officer status on the ship. The title comes with some hefty responsibility, but also a lot of perks. She has her own room a few decks above ours with a double bed and a whole-ass window, not just a porthole, that takes up pretty much the entirety of the back wall – though at 11 p.m. on embarkation day, there’s not much to see. Between the bed and the window is a tiny round coffee table and two small armchairs, and by the door she’s got a desk like the rest of us. But the real big-ticket item is her sofa bed, which is currently pulled out and made up so there are two double beds side by side. The only available floor space is by the door, at the bottom of the main bed, and in a tiny gap between the two beds.
I acquaint myself with who else made it tonight – mostly familiar faces, but there are a few new ones lit by the fairy lights strung up along both walls – as everyone talks and drinks over the chilled music coming from a speaker. It doesn’t take many of us to fill the cabin, but it’s not overly crowded. I guess there are almost twenty people in here, give or take, already paired off or mingling in their small groups. This is usually when I feel like a kid in a candy store, but tonight, something’s not clicking.
Tiegan welcomes me back to the ship, gives Jack a knowing grin, and locks the door behind us. You can always leave if you need to, but everyone here knows to stay until the night comes to a natural end. And no one can arrive late. You can’t relax into an orgy with the door opening and closing every five minutes.
Tiegan’s parties are different from the others I’ve found myself at. Hers are organised and private. The spontaneous parties are the ones you’ve gotta watch out for. I only made that mistake once. The way people run their mouths after a one-off night like that makes my skin crawl. I might be an outgoing guy, but I like my privacy. And I also like that no one comes here unprepared; there are expectations for how to behave, and everyone respects them. The best thing, though, is that the ladies are in charge. Us guys can’t initiate anything – we have to be invited. Everything is a question, never an assumption. Everyone’s safe here, and when people feel safe, that’s when the real fun can begin.
Before Tiegan can move away from the door, there’s a quiet knock. Pleased, she unlocks it, smiles, and says, “I’m glad you could make it.”
I have to suppress a gasp as the girl from the bar steps gingerly inside. It’s always the quiet ones. Jack blows out a slow breath beside me, where we’re now perched on the end of the sofa bed.
Tiegan locks the door again and struts towards her spot on the main bed. “You’re a brave man, Tom,” she muses.
Huh? Me? What did I do? And what is everyone’s problem with this girl? Because whatever it is, no one’s been bold enough to say. But what would it change if I asked? I know for a fact she won’t be inviting me to play with her this evening. I need to pack my intrigue away and put it to one side.
It’s clear the pot’s been melting long enough for some indulgence to be a relief, and though I try not to watch, I notice the jockette’s eyes popping outta her skull as lust descends upon the room. Why does she look so surprised? Who did she sleep with to be invited here, and why has that person not stepped up to welcome her in? Something’s not right. No one comes here unprepared – I’m certain of that. Though I’m growing less and less certain by the second. It could simply be awe and wonder on her face instead of shock and horror. It’s not. But I can’t bother her again. She wouldn’t want me to.
So when Naomi puts her hand on my shoulder and tells me she missed me, I should welcome her offer like I have done several times before, but my gut tells me to hold off a little longer to make sure Miss Innocent is okay. She’s backed away, towards the door. Yep, she’s not okay. I tell Naomi to carry on without me and get up to escort her out of here.
“Did no one tell you what kind of party this was?”
She shakes her head, unable to tear her eyes off the entanglement of limbs by the window. “I shouldn’t be here.”
Shouldn’t. Interesting choice of word. “Why’s that?”
“If people talk…”
“No one will talk. Cone of silence outside of these walls.” She should know that, but Tiegan’s obviously let her come here completely unprepared, so I catch her up to speed. “Which applies to you too. You can’t repeat anything that happens here to anyone.”
She gulps, shakes her head, and then finally looks at me with those big blue doe eyes of hers. “But what will people think?”
I don’t take offence, because I have a hunch she didn’t mean to slut-shame everybody in this room. “These people?” I hitch my thumb over my shoulder.
She nods, and I smile.
“It’d be pretty hypocritical of them to judge you, don’t you think?”
Her brow crinkles. “I should go.”
There it is again. Whenever a person says they “should” do something, it usually means they don’t really want to.
“Do you want to go?”
She doesn’t say no, though I’m not about to take the absence of that word as a yes. “Is that what you’re here for?” She avoids the question.
I shrug by way of casual confirmation. Why else would I be here?
“You can go…join in or… Don’t let me stop you.”
“Is that you asking me to leave you alone, or are you just being polite?”
“Um…”
“You can’t be vague in here. It’s yes, no, or you go,” I say softly, but my meaning is firm. I stay quiet as I watch her take in the rules for a moment. “It’s okay to admit that you like it,” I whisper, hoping my voice blends in with her thoughts.
“I was being polite,” she confirms.
“Do you want to join in?”
“No,” she says quickly. “Not tonight. I?—”
“It’s okay. You don’t need an excuse.”
“That’s why I said you can go. I don’t want…” – she looks over at a girl I’ve not had the pleasure of meeting yet, on her knees, switching her attention between one of the guys from the casino and one of the theatre techs – “to do that today.”
“But you want to stay?”
“Am I allowed to if I’m not…?”
“I’m not gonna let anyone kick you out.”
The tiniest crack of a smile breaks out on her lips. “So when will you—? Who will you—? How?—?”
I head towards the now vacant desk and lean against it, patting the empty surface. “Come sit.”
“I said I’m not?—”
“I know, but if you’re not going to come tonight, I at least want you to be comfortable.”
She smiles again, and it makes my heart skip.
I decide not to cloud her already busy mind with conversation, so for a little while I let her watch the night unfold. And I watch her. I follow her line of vision to work out what her eyes linger on; what she’s enjoying. I’m fascinated by her, but also kinda relieved to have her as a distraction. I used to get laid whenever I wanted and with whoever I wanted, for months on end, and then I was cut off for seven weeks. I should be jumping at the chance to blow off some steam, but for some reason, I’m not.
“Why aren’t you joining in?” she asks.
“Maybe I don’t want you to see me naked,” I joke, but her features straighten with realisation, then embarrassment. “I’m kidding. I was on the fence.”
The tension in her shoulders loosens again and she goes back to watching. “It’s actually kind of beautiful.”
I smile. Here I was, wishing I could crawl into her brain to figure her out, but she’s already speaking her mind. “What is?”
“Her. Them.” She looks at Naomi, who’s lying on her side, sandwiched between two guys, kissing the one in front of her while the guy behind her fucks her slowly. I can’t say it’s not breathtaking, but I’m still happy I’m sitting it out.
“What do you like about it?” Anticipation makes goose bumps race along my skin.
“She looks like she’s having fun.”
I let out a small laugh. “Yeah, I think she probably is.” I can’t stop the next question that comes out of my mouth. “Is that what you think about at night?”
Her eyes lock on mine, though I don’t miss the way they drop to my lips for a second.
I lower my voice so only she can hear. “Do you want to be shared?”
Contradicting everything I thought about her when she shied away earlier, she gives a tiny nod. Shit. There goes any chance I had of not immediately falling for another Brit on the first day again. It’s like déjà vu. Fuck, what I’d give to help fulfil this girl’s desires.
“What else do you want?” I ask, but after a period of silence, it’s clear she’s not going to answer. Either because she’s too distracted by the various cries of pleasureor because she doesn’t know. I’m so curious about her I can’t stop myself from saying, “Tell me your secrets.”
She turns her attention back to me, our faces inches apart. “You first.”
Shoulda seen that coming.I take a deep breath and think of one. “Sometimes, if I see someone I know and I don’t wanna talk, I pretend to be my twin brother.”
She gasps and smiles. “That’s amazing. I wish I was— Actually, it’s probably a good thing I’m not a twin.” She looks away, horrified, as if imagining a scene playing out in front of her.
“So you’re a troublemaker?” I can’t take my eyes off her lips.
“Depends on who you ask.”
Sweet Jesus, I want to be the one she makes trouble with. “Your turn,” I remind her.
She keeps her gaze on the room. “I feel safer here than I’ve felt anywhere in a long time.”
Questions are quick to scramble themselves in my mind. Why doesn’t she feel safe anywhere else? Why does she feel safe here? Is it because of me? “Why’s that?”
For a moment she loses herself in her thoughts. “I think it’s the first time I haven’t been the most vulnerable person in the room.”
Her answer only offers more questions, but if I’m not careful, I’ll risk this becoming an inquisition and then some, because I could –and would – start a manhunt for whoever made her feel weak or small or unsafe.
I let her words sink in as we turn our attention back to the room. Naomi looks up at the ceiling in bliss, the glitter entwined in her braids shining as she bounces on top of one of her men. My competitive streak should be kicking in. I should want to be over there trying to make her scream even louder than everyone else. And yet I don’t have the interest tonight. Not with anyone who isn’t the woman beside me. But is she interested in me? At the bar it felt like an obvious no, but the longer we sit here together, the more I’m wondering if we just got off to an awkward start.
“I want another secret.”
She looks over at me. “You know the price.”
This one will put me out of my misery. She can reject me properly and I’ll blow out the torch I’m currently carrying for her. Nerves rattle me, but I decide to say what I have to say anyway. “I know I shouldn’t want you, but I do. And if that makes you feel…uncomfortable, you can tell me to?—”
“It doesn’t.”
“It doesn’t?”
She shakes her head. “I’ve fancied you for a very long time.”
I laugh in disbelief. She can’t mean that. Can she? “But you’ve only just met me.”
“I know,” she says, matter-of-fact.
“Is that your secret?”
She nods. Shit, I think she really does mean it. Her chest rises in shallow breaths, and her gaze drops down to my lips and back up to meet my eye again. It’s so tempting to lean in. Her body language is all right, but I need her permission.
“Why haven’t you kissed me yet?” she asks.
My grin spreads from ear to ear. “Because you haven’t asked. In case you forgot the rules or were never told them in the first place, the ladies are in charge in here. As they always should be. Nothing happens without you requesting it. Also, that’s not why I sat with you.” Disappointment floods her eyes. “I just need you to know that. I wasn’t sitting here waiting for you to want this. I only wanted to keep you company. I didn’t have any expectations.”
She studies my face for a second, the worry on her brow easing. “I know. Can I have a kiss, please? If you want to give me one.”
Jack literally has a girl on his face and another riding his dick, and I’m over here trying not to burst my zipper because the hottest, cutest girl in the world wants me to kiss her.
With my pulse pounding in my ears, I run my thumb over her cheek and her breath hitches. I hold her and lean in slowly at the same time as she does, my lips finding hers, and she gifts me with the softest kiss imaginable. So delicate. So gentle. And finally, everything clicks into place.
I pull back to see her. I need to know if she’s as affected by this as I am. Her eyes fill with need, and she reaches for my shirt, lightly pulling me back for more. I move to stand in front of her and plant another careful kiss on her lips, sighing at the relief of it, slowly chancing another and another. She welcomes a flick of my tongue against hers, and I have to fight not to combust with the hit of endorphins that shoots through me. God, that felt good. Another flick. So good.
She tastes sweet like lemonade, and I can’t get enough. Losing ourselves in a crazy-hot make-out session, my hands roam free over her thighs, her body, her hair. I try to take her in, commit her to memory, because I’m scared that after tonight she’ll be a thing of my dreams, and I would hate to not know what she feels like. She parts her legs for me to step in between them, and I pull at her thighs to shuffle her towards the edge of the desk. Her hands are on my chest and my waist, keeping me close as our kisses overlap again and again. We’re in complete contradiction with the chaos of noise around us.
Does she taste this good all over? I have to know. I pull back, unlocking her lips from mine, and lean in to kiss her neck only once. “Is this okay?”
“Yes,” she moans, and she arches her neck to the side to encourage me.
I want to feast on her, but I hold myself back enough to wind her up, earning me tiny moans right in my ear that go straight to my dick. I could make out with her forever and never get bored.
Her.Are you kidding me? Where are my manners?
“I don’t even know your name,” I say between kisses.
“Gem— Meg. Megan.”
I laugh. “Are you sure?”
“Uh…yeah. Sorry, my thoughts are all…backwards.” She shakes her head as if to snap herself out of whatever daze she’s in.
I made her forget her own name.
Delight surges through me. Tom and Megan. That has a nice ring to it.
She says my name, and it could easily be a chorus of angels calling out to me with the way it makes me float. Then she says it again, tapping my arm. Huh? I ground myself and realise she’s trying to turn my attention to the casino guy and his friends, who are offering us their spot on the sofa bed. I look back to Megan, gauging her interest.
“Is that what you’d like?”
She nods nervously but then straightens her shoulders and says, “Yes,” like I taught her to.
Heavenly Father, please give me the strength not to embarrass myself.
I take Megan’s hand and trade places with the others, setting myself a mental reminder to thank them in my wedding speech. She lingers behind me, her hand tightening a little with what I assume is nerves. Noticing this, instead of lying down – which would be too much too fast – I sit at the back of the couch and invite her to straddle me, which she does with a coy smile. We aren’t alone on the bed, but the activities of the others are nothing too obnoxious or potentially intimidating to Megan, I hope.
I cup her face and kiss her once. “We’ll go at your pace, okay? Just because everyone else is having sex, it doesn’t mean I expect that. You call the shots.”
Her eyes swell with what I think is gratitude and she smiles. “Thank you.”
“Just being near you feels like winning the lottery.”
She hides her grin with her hands and shakes her head as if she doesn’t believe me before diving in for another kiss. Her body rocks against mine, and she gasps, leaning back and staring at me with wide, wild eyes. Guess there’s no hiding what she’s doing to me now.
“Does that feel good?”
“Uh-huh.” She nods.
“Good. Then use me.”
I pull her into me and snatch her lips with mine. One hand nestles in her hair; the other guides her hips as she moves against me, gradually grinding harder. She breaks the kiss to moan, the noise startling her, and she peers around the room,worry twisting her mouth.
“You’re safe in here. No one is judging you.”
She takes a breath and lets the reality of my words restore her newfound confidence.
“Gem.” I like her backwards name. “I promise this isn’t some kind of move, and you can absolutely say no, but do you mind if I take my pants – nope, trousers – off? I think I’m gonna get a permanent zipper indent in my dick if not.”
She giggles. “Yeah, sure.” She gets off the bed so I can undo my zipper and wriggle free.
Ah man, that’s better.I go to welcome her back, only to find she’s removed her denim skirt and is in the process of lifting her T-shirt off, causing my jaw to drop wide open. She wasn’t born; she was sculpted. Every muscle of hers has been conditioned and expertly defined, yet there’s still a softness to her I can’t wait to feel for myself. And holy shit, that’s a nice bra she’s got on. And the panties… Talk about irresistible.
I go to sit back on the bed, but she asks me to lie down, and once on top of me again, her warmth and wetness instantly soak my boxer briefs. Damn, I didn’t think this through. I should have kept my pants on. I’ve gotta figure out a way to pace myself here.
I trace my thumb over the lace of her pink panties. “And you didn’t know what kind of party this was?”
She shakes her head, taking a second to understand me. “All my underwear looks like this,” she states, shrugging like it’s nothing.
She’s a girl with expensive taste. Noted. Wow, I really need my comedy career to take off, or to earn a pay raise, so I can spoil her rotten. I endeavour to kiss every inch of her bare skin as she works her hips on me, but I find myself getting lost in the sway of her breasts.
“Gem, can I?—?”
Before I can finish my question, all the while struggling to take my eyes off her chest, she interrupts. “Anything.”
This woman will be the death of me.
I don’t hurry like I want to. I take great care pulling the lace down, exposing her right breast. My mouth catches it, latching onto her aroused nipple. I look up to check it’s not too much, but she whimpers, digs her fingers into my hair, and treats me to a slow and heavy grind of her hips. I can’t contain my excitement and release her other breast too, moving my mouth to that one while lightly teasing the other with my fingertips. Jeez, they’re perfect. All boobs are perfect. But these… These deserve some kind of award.
“I can’t believe this is happening.” She beams.
“Right back at you.”
I kiss her lips – why does it feel like so long since I last did that? – and then pull back to take her in. Where did she come from? And why does she want me?
She’s more than a little worked up, rolling her hips over me with desperation.
“If you want more, you have to tell me,” I remind her.
“Could you try to—?” She looks out at the people all around us – the ones I’d forgotten about – then lowers her voice and says, “Can you touch me?” Her eyes flash down briefly.
Try. As in, it hasn’t been good before? Is she extra-sensitive? Could it be that vagi-mus-nis-itis-thing? Is it rude to ask? Would she want to explain with other people listening in?
Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Probably. And probably not.
I’m kind of terrified to hurt her, but if that’s what she wants, I’ll be so damn gentle. “Anything.” I repeat her words.
Doing my best not to disturb the couple next to us, I flip us over so she’s under me. I think rushing to it would only overwhelm her, so I take my time, caressing her through her panties for so long that she releases her lips from the sweet spot on my neck and reaches for my hand to slip it down the front of the designer lace. Fuck. She’s soaking-wet for me, and instantly, I know her pussy deserves to have every dollar in the world spent on it.
I stroke her carefully a few times, but she’s having none of it.
“Please,” she begs. “I need more.”
I circle my middle finger around her entrance, carefully easing in my fingertip. I don’t feel any tension or resistance, but I watch her closely to be sure her gasps are from pleasure, not pain. They seem to be, so I push all the way inside. I pull back and slide in again, and she whimpers, her whole face smoothing with relief.
“That okay?”
“Yes.”
I curl my finger and stroke her, waiting for the moment she inhales sharply, and then I pulse the tip of my finger against that spot. She’s like a stick of dynamite; the fuse has been burning for too long and she’s ready to go off. Groaning and writhing against me, she arches her back and tightens around me as she comes. I’m so glad there are other people here to witness this, because her orgasm is my biggest achievement to date. I kiss her neck and her face while she cools down, her body occasionally trembling like waves crashing on the shore.
When she opens her eyes and finds me, she smiles, her breathing still laboured. She takes a second to remind herself where she is, and I look around with her. No one’s making too big of a deal, but there are a few smiles aimed in our direction. Jack’s smirking like I’m in trouble, and I know he’s right. I’m in deep already.
“You like being watched, don’t you?”
She bites the corner of her lip. “Yeah, I think I do.”
“Did you know that before tonight?”
“I actually thought the complete opposite.”
“How does it make you feel?”
“Powerful.” I should have guessed that answer – it’s radiating off her.
“Damn right.” I kiss her, so impressed with the one-eighty she’s done since the start of the evening. “You want to show everyone how much you like having me inside you again?”
The biggest grin spreads across her face. “Yes, please.”
“So polite. Think you can handle two fingers?”
She nods eagerly, and I slip a second finger inside of her, still keeping an eye on her reactions, but she seems comfortable, so I build her up again, her body melting into the bed, lazily accepting my kisses. When I increase my pressure and speed up, yeses cascade from her lips before she completely breaks, unable to speak or even breathe. Her pussy squeezes my fingers tight as she loses herself in silent ecstasy.
She collapses back against the pillow and tries to recover. “I did not see my night going this way,” she jokes.
I laugh with her, but something clenches my stomach. I can’t help but feel like I’ve taken advantage somehow.
“I want more,” she continues.
“Yeah? Describe more.”
She grazes her fingers along the waistband of my boxers. “I think I want to have sex with you.”
Oh man. I could jump at the chance if the word “think” wasn’t in there and if I wasn’t already questioning my ethics. I bide my time by kissing her neck. She didn’t know what she was getting into; she’s gotten caught up in a wild night of spontaneity; she was terrified and now she’s got the lust-bug. She doesn’t strike me as the type of person who goes into sex lightly. Has she had casual sex before? Do I want casual sex anymore? I might have come here willingly, but I was anything other than excited to be here when I arrived.
“Tom?”
“I don’t think we should.” I watch as the rejection lands on her face and act quickly to explain myself. “I just… I’m worried I’ve worn you down, and I really, really need you to know that when I came over to you, all I wanted to do was make sure you were okay.”
“It’s okay. I believe you.”
“And I’m scared there’s a chance you could wake up tomorrow and regret this.”
“Will you regret this?”
I shake my head, carefully considering my next words to make sure they won’t get misconstrued. “I would regret rushing this.” I kiss her once to make extra-sure she knows I still want her. “Also, I think I’d be lucky to even last thirty seconds at this point, so…”
She giggles at my confession, and my concern eases a little.
“Can we keep kissing though?” she asks.
“Yeah. I’d like that.”