Chapter Twenty-Six
Janene
It was rare for me to visit a project in the middle of construction unless there was a problem, but I didn’t want to sit in the office and I didn’t want to go home. Not after the way things had gone with Harlyn. We were remodeling a historic hotel in downtown San Antonio. The structure was sound but there was so much that needed to be brought up to code. For the day, the construction crew was working on refinishing the outside stonework while we waited on the electrician to give us the okay to move forward with the walls.
I took a seat in the lobby, where there was minimal PPE required. I tried to envision all the changes we were planning to make but the truth was, I wasn’t in the mood to work. Even Madeline’s idea of being onsite and taking in the project was useless.
I opened up my phone and scrolled through my saved photos. I never used my camera so it made sense that every picture saved was a selfie Harlyn had snuck into my phone. And then there was the video Renee sent me. I had figured out how to save it directly to my phone instead of having to access the text thread with Renee. It was a proud moment, but the only person I wanted to share the accomplishment with was Harlyn and she wanted nothing to do with me.
I hit the play button and heard all the airport noise come to life. People laughing and talking, happy to see their loved ones as they arrived from who knows where. The first part of the video was blurry but it’s unmistakably me, pushed up against a column and Harlyn pressing her mouth against mine. My hands are near her waist pulling at the fabric of her t-shirt. I remember trying my best not to slide my hands under to feel her skin against my fingers. Harlyn’s fingers are tangled in the little bit of hair I have at the back of my head. For a moment she breaks away and her lips trail across my cheek and toward my ear. She says something to me. Every time I watch the video, I try to remember what she says but I can’t. Whatever it was makes me smile wide and I bring her even closer to me. She’ll kiss me again and I know that soon after the video will cut out. I’ve seen it a million times, I know the clip by heart, sometimes I can feel the heat of Harlyn’s breath against my ear when I watch her whisper to me.
“Isn’t there a rule against watching porn on the jobsite?”
I was so in my head I heard Harlyn’s voice clearly in my ear. I felt Harlyn’s breath tickle my neck. I closed my eyes and held my breath, listening for something more, but the only sounds I can make out are coming from the construction crew. I sat still and waited a little longer because I could still feel her breath at my ear. Like she was right there. It sent a shiver down my spine. I was losing my fucking mind.
I took in another deep breath and then I put my phone in my pocket and wiped at my eyes just in case there are any tears. The last thing I needed was for a bunch of construction guys to see me that way. I stood up to leave and when I turned around there she was. I blinked, and then blinked again but she was still there.
“You’re a hard person to track down,” she said, a large grin on her face.
I looked at my watch, it was only ten in the morning. It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours since we last saw each other.
“How did you know where to find me?”
She shrugged. “I have my ways.”
I nodded. I didn’t know what else to say. I wasn’t even sure why she was standing there when she had obviously made her decision the day before.
“Can I buy you a coffee?” she asked. “It’s not a refrigerator full of beer or a bedroom full of flowers, but I’m hoping it’s a start.”
“I don’t understand. Why are you here?” I was still in shock that she was actually standing in the middle of my job site.
“I guess, I’m trying to apologize,” she said. “I acted like a brat last night. I’m sorry. I was hoping that maybe we could talk.”
“You don’t have the right PPE. You could get hurt.”
Harlyn was in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. She had on sneakers instead of boots and no hardhat. My pulse was gaining speed with every moment that we stood on that site. I placed my hardhat on her head and pulled her toward the exit.
“My office is about fifteen minutes from here,” I said.
I dropped her hand as soon as we got onto the sidewalk outside of the construction fence. Harlyn stopped.
“I hear you live around here.”
It should have surprised me that she knew that I had moved but I knew Caitlin had most likely shared everything she knew about my new home.
“Yeah, about a five-minute walk that way.”
She looked in the direction that I pointed and nodded as if she knew that. I wondered if she’d gone by my condo before she walked to the job site or if she simply knew that I would be at the site.
“Can we go there? Maybe pick up a coffee on the way?” She handed my hardhat back to me.
“Sure.” I started to walk again.
“How did you get all that beer into Caitlin’s refrigerator? That was quite a feat.”
“It’s really not that hard to stack bottles and cans in a refrigerator. The trick was rearranging all the leftover takeout containers Caitlin had in there.”
Harlyn laughed. “That’s not what I meant. I meant where did you find all that beer? I know you can’t find it around here. Trust me, I tried for six years.”
“Oh,” I said. “Two days after I talked to Caitlin, Madeline called and said she wanted to make a trip down to check on things. I think she meant me, but either way, I knew she was driving so I asked her bring me some beer.”
“Some? That’s a lot of beer.”
“Funny, that’s what she said when I sent her my list.”
Harlyn laughed again. It was nice to hear that sound. I’d missed it so much. If there was one thing I wished to have recorded, it was her laugh.
The rest of the walk to my favorite coffee shop, the one that was downstairs from my condo, she stayed quiet. I wanted to tell her about the coffee shop and how I had come to find this particular building and about the buildings around it. The history that this city held, all things I knew she’d appreciate under any other circumstance but I didn’t share any of that, I just walked.
“Hey, Janene,” Sophie said when she spotted us. “I was not expecting to see you again this morning. Lucky me.”
Sophie was the owner of the shop and the morning barista that had been serving my coffee from day one. She was a brunette with golden brown eyes that had little specks of gold in them. They were unusual on their own but her tan skin made their color stand out even brighter. Her personality was bubbly but she was shy. The first day I came in to the shop, her face turned bright red when I said good morning. It took several weeks before I could greet her and not get that reaction.
“Hey, Sophie. Special occasion I guess.”
“Shall I pour you the usual,” she winked at me and smiled wide.
“Yes, please.”
“And for your friend?” She looked at Harlyn and not so subtly gave her a once over.
“Just a black coffee for me, thanks,” Harlyn said.
“Coming right up. Pick a seat and I’ll bring them right over.”
“Actually, we’re taking them to go,” Harlyn said.
There was a stiffness about the way Harlyn responded to Sophie. It was just shy of rude. I had never seen Harlyn talk to anyone that way. Sophie didn’t say anything. That was probably why she was so good at her job, but I’d known her long enough to see her smile tighten just a touch.
“I’m Harlyn, by the way,” Harlyn said. I turned to find her posture was as stiff as her voice.
“Nice to meet you Harlyn-by the way,” Sophie replied.
Before Harlyn could say anything else I finished the introductions. “Harlyn is a friend from back home.” I gave Sophie an apologetic smile because I was completely clueless as to what was transpiring.
“Harlyn, this is Sophie, she runs the place. I get my coffee here every morning on my way to work.”
Harlyn nodded but didn’t look away from Sophie who was standing behind the counter with what had become an awkward smile on her face. The two women seemed to be in some sort of standoff.
“Well, any friend of Janene’s is a friend of mine.” Sophie finally blinked and then turned away to make our drinks. “How long will you be in town?” she asked.
“Don’t know yet,” Harlyn said.
Sophie looked at Harlyn over her shoulder, a genuine smile returning to her face. “Well, I hope it’s a long happy visit.”
Harlyn nodded. No one said anything else until Sophie handed us our drinks.
“Will I see you in the morning?” Sophie asked as she handed me my receipt. I assumed she was talking to me but Harlyn was the one who replied.
“Maybe.”
We walked out of the coffee shop and entered the door to my building. I wasn’t sure what had just happened but I could only assume it had something to do with whatever was on Harlyn’s mind. She didn’t offer any information though. The ride up to the twentieth floor was quiet.
“I don’t know what happened back there,” Harlyn said as I opened the door to my place. “I think I may have left my body for a moment. That was very high school of me, wasn’t it?”
“I don’t know, but I think I kind of liked it.”
Harlyn swatted at my stomach with the back of her hand and laughed. It was almost as if we hadn’t just spent half a year apart. I wasn’t lying though, to see that Harlyn had been jealous of Sophie was encouraging, whether or not she’d meant it to be. We stared at each other, cups of coffee between us. I hadn’t just missed her smile or her laugh, I’d missed those bright green eyes and the way the made me feel.
“I really want to kiss you,” Harlyn said. Her eyes dipped down to my lips and then back up to my eyes. “But I’m not ready for that yet.”
“How about we just chat for a little bit,” I said.
We moved to the living room. Harlyn started for one of the chairs but changed course when she saw her sweatshirt thrown over the back of the sofa. I hadn’t expected company so I’d left it in the place where I had sat and cried into it the night before. It was embarrassing to think about it now. A grown woman crying into a college sweatshirt. Harlyn didn’t say anything, she just took it and laid it across her lap when she sat down. I wanted to yank it from her hands, hide it so she wouldn’t be tempted to walk out of my apartment with the only tangible thing I had left of hers.
I took a seat in a chair, trying not to crowd her. She was here in my living room, something that seemed completely impossible this morning. I still didn’t know what she wanted to talk about and I didn’t want to ruin the opportunity to find out because I wanted to kiss her too even though I knew I didn’t deserve that. Not yet, not until I knew that she truly understood how bad I felt about the things I had done, so I made sure to leave plenty of space between us.
“So, why Texas?” she asked.
I cleared my throat. “While I was down here last summer, I came across several historical restorations that were looking for help.”
“So, you just up and moved?”
“Well, that work in addition to the renovation we’re currently working on which is going to take at least eighteen months. It just felt like a good place to be. I needed something different. When you left, I was angry, at you, at me, at the whole world, so I quit RedPrint—”
“You quit?”
I nodded. “I was beside myself. I knew you were leaving for New York no matter what, because it’s where you belong, but I thought I was going to get a few last glimpses of you, maybe get a chance to apologize before you left. I never expected you to just be gone after my first day back.”
“I was heartbroken,” she said. Her fingers were playing with the cuff of her sweatshirt sleeve. “I didn’t know how I was going to look at you, and then I heard that you and Anabelle had gone off together. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the things you were very likely doing with her.”
“With Anabelle? You knew I wasn’t interested in her.”
“Well, I also thought that you cared about me and you very convincingly told me you didn’t. What was I supposed to think?”
She was right. I had said everything I could think of to make sure she hated me. That she wouldn’t try to come after me or ruin her career for me. In the moment it seemed like the best thing to do.
“By the time I realized it was all in my head,” she went on to say. “It was too late. I had already turned down Madeline’s offer and taken the job in New York.”
“I regretted everything the moment you left my apartment.” I ran my hands through my hair. “I guess you know that I told your mom off when I found out you were gone.”
Harlyn laughed. “No. But good for you. I haven’t talked to my mom since I left for New York.”
“Harlyn.”
“I know, but I was so angry with her. All I wanted to do was yell at her over and over again and that wasn’t right either.”
The room went quiet for a moment.
“So, who are your working for now?” she asked.
I smiled. “RedPrint Designs, Texas. Madeline showed up at my apartment that same night. She sat me down and asked me to tell her what had happened. I think she already knew something was going on because of how abruptly you left and how you’d told her that you would talk to me when it was clear that you hadn’t. I told her everything. What we had been doing, how Renee found out and what I had done to push you away. She asked me not to leave. I told her I couldn’t stand being in Denver anymore. Not if you weren’t there. She offered to send me to New York. But I couldn’t. My heart was broken too. I couldn’t bear the thought of running into you with some young woman on your arm. So, I said I’d come out here.”
Tears streaked down Harlyn face. I hated that I had caused her so much pain and I couldn’t seem to stop myself from doing it over and over again.
“I was so caught up in my own pain,” she said. “I never stopped to think about how this affected you. I mean I assumed this was really what you wanted. It wasn’t until I told my mom that I was moving that she told me what she had done. Can you believe it,” she shook her head. “She thought that I would appreciate what she’d done for me, that I’d be grateful and stay.”
“She loves you. Her way of showing it is a little unorthodox, sure, but she loves you and she only wanted to protect you.”
“From you?”
“Harlyn, she knows my biggest secrets. She knows my demons. I don’t blame her for wanting to keep you away from all of that. You’re too young—”
“I’m not a fucking baby! Jesus how many times do I have to defend myself.”
“I know, and I didn’t mean it like that. I just mean that you have the right to go out and live life free of any drama. Your mom never got that. I never got that. When we were your age, she had a family and I had…”
“And yet neither of you would change any of that for yourselves. Tell me you would erase your past and do it differently. Tell me that mom would give up any one of her children, tell me that you would give up Coreen.”
I shook my head. “No. You’re right.”
“I want to be able to make my own mistakes. I want to have crazy stories to tell my friends and maybe one day my kids, or my friends’ kids. I have a right to that.”
“I know. I’m just saying give your mom a break. She wasn’t trying to hurt you.”
“But she did.”
“So did I and here we are.”
Harlyn went silent for a while. I was worried I had gone too far. Said more to defend Renee than myself and now I was going to lose this one chance to find out why Harlyn was sitting in my condo.
“Is this goodbye?” I asked. “Wait, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know, I just want to have a nice conversation with you and then when you leave today, you can send me a text and tell me.”
Harlyn’s eyes were glistening like she was trying really hard to keep herself from shedding more tears.
“Come here,” she said as she patted the seat next to her.
I stood up on shaky legs. If there was any comfort to be had in that moment, it was that I was at home. There was nowhere to drive away to, no worries about being thrown out or asked to leave. I would forever have this image of Harlyn sitting on my sofa asking me to sit next to her.
I took a seat, careful not to sit too close, not to accidentally brush my thigh against hers even though that was what I wanted to do.
Harlyn reached for my coffee and set it, along with hers, on the coffee table, then she took my hands in hers. “This is not goodbye, Janene, unless you want it to be.” She rubbed her thumb across the back of my hand. “Can I kiss you now?”
I leaned forward and brushed my lips against hers. They were just as soft as I remembered. She tasted of coffee and mint. The mint she tried to slyly slip into her mouth as I was unlocking my door. When I broke away, there was the smallest sound of protest that escaped her mouth.
She leaned back in, more aggressive, more certain of what she wanted. She didn’t hesitate to straddle my thighs and bring us even closer together. My hands were in her hair and I was lost in the feel of her body pressed against mine.
“Wait,” I said gasping for air.
Harlyn’s eyes were wide. “I’m sorry,” she said.
“No, don’t apologize. I just want to make sure that this is really what you want. Because I’m in Texas and you’re in New York and as much as I want this, I don’t want to make a mess of things again.”
Harlyn’s green eyes were so full of lust. “Semantics,” she said. She took my face in her hands and kissed me again. “Please tell me you want this.”
“Can I show you instead?”
I lifted her t-shirt over her head and took in the sight of her but only for a moment because my mouth was drawn to the thin line of her collar bone. I kissed my way down to the swell of one breast, then across to the other. My thumbs found her hardened nipples and I could not believe that I was here again, holding this beautiful woman in my hands.
“Let’s go to my room,” I said. “I want you completely naked on my bed.”
Harlyn once again, moved without hesitation. She stretched out her hand and helped me off the sofa. My place wasn’t huge but it was a two bedroom and somehow, Harlyn knew exactly where to go. She stood by the bed toed off her shoes and socks, then dropped both her panties and her jeans in one move. She reached around behind her back and removed her bra. In just moments she was completely naked and all I could do was gaze at how gorgeous she was.
“Are you going to join me?” she asked.
I took a moment to process what her words really meant. This was a big step for us. I removed my shirt and my jeans then I stood there for a moment in my boi shorts and sports bra. I removed my bra and saw a smile form on Harlyn’s face. It took me a moment longer to remove my underwear but I did because this was Harlyn. If I was going to prove to her just how much she meant to me, I truly needed to show her.
I slipped into bed next to her and reveled in the feel of her warm body against mine. It was a new, and welcomed sensation. Every curve, every muscle pressed hard against me, not a single article of clothing between us. I pushed her onto her back, my thigh between her legs, her warmth and arousal greeting me.
“I love you,” I said. “I don’t deserve you, but I do love you.”
We kissed again. A long exploratory kiss that made my entire body vibrate from the inside out.
“I love you too,” she said when we broke for air. “Can I show you how much?”
I nodded, expecting her hand to travel down between us, to search out that achy spot between my legs but instead, Harlyn rolled us over so that I was pinned against the mattress under her.
“I have an idea,” she said. “One I’ve been fanaticizing about since the last time I saw you and I don’t mean at Caitlin’s.”
Harlyn got up on her knees and then leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes,” I said.
She instructed me to move toward the center of the bed and then straddled my stomach, only she wasn’t facing me, she was facing my feet. It quickly became clear what she was wanting to do. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to but I knew at the very least, I was going to enjoy pleasuring her from this position.
She scooted backward until all her most intimate parts were within reach of my hands and my mouth. Her scent was intoxicating. I didn’t even wait for her to give the okay. I swiped my tongue along her soaked slit and tasted just how much she desired me. I was enthralled with the way Harlyn tasted and I forgot she was on the other end of me about to devour my want until she lapped my clit with her tongue.
The feeling was shocking and exhilarating all at once. I lost track of my own task as she licked my folds and then returned to my clit. The sensation consumed me. It was familiar and yet it was all brand new. With her tongue flat and wide she made another pass up and down my slit. I had chills all over my body. I never wanted her to stop. Her lapping lightened as she rounded my clit. She started with large circles then zeroed in on the hard bud that was now craving all of her attention. She flicked it and sent hot waves of electricity through me. My legs started to tremble, this part I was familiar with though never with such intensity. My eyes were screwed shut, bright explosions of light flashing against my eyelids. I had never come that fast and definitely not that hard. I must have blacked out for a second because when I opened my eyes again, Harlyn was next to me, worry across her face.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
I couldn’t say anything at first so I just nodded. I took a few deep breaths to slow my racing heart. “I’m more than okay,” I finally said.
Harlyn laughed. “You scared me! You were so loud I thought I’d hurt you.”
“It was just pure joy.”
“Good,” she said.
“You’re sneaky,” I said kissing her cheek. “You knew exactly how to distract me.”
A grin spread across her face. “A girl never reveals her secrets.”
“Oh yeah? Well, this girl needs to finish what she started. You can’t put a dish like that in front of me and then just take it away. Up on your knees,” I said. “I have a new position for you.”
“Is that right?” Harlyn asked.
“Yes. Right here.” I pointed at my mouth.
I placed my hands on her hips and helped her to climb over my chest. I could still taste her on my lips but I needed more. Harlyn reached for the headboard and positioned herself right over my mouth, that was exactly where I needed her to be.