Chapter 38 #2
Luna’s face lit up. She turned to her dad for his agreement. He nodded and said, “Go up and put on some leggings so you don’t get too cold, Luns.”
After she scampered up the stairs, Luke leaned over and kissed my cheek. “Have I told you how smart you are?”
I smiled. “Not today.”
A laugh rattled out of his chest.
He stood from the couch. “I’m going to change, too.” He scanned my outfit, lingering on the bare legs extending from my short denim shorts. I wanted him to touch them, but I sensed his hesitation. We both knew Luna would be bounding back into the room at any moment.
“I’ll grab you a sweatshirt,” he said before jogging up the stairs.
The slight chill in the air made the bike ride refreshing. Luna rode ahead of me, Luke behind both of us. A few undaunted beachgoers set up at the beach, wrapping themselves in towels and sweatshirts. Several kids and preteens splashed in the waves, unconcerned with the air temperature.
When we got to Oak Bluffs, the town was full of day-trippers, kids and families, and couples young and old, shopping and dining.
The whole downtown buzzed with end-of-season energy, everyone squeezing in some quintessential summer experiences before school and work and reality crashed back down on them all.
With that interview coming up, I felt that same urgency to soak it all in while I still could. I pushed it down, trying to be in the moment with Luke and Luna.
On the third turn around the carousel, Luna got the sole brass ring from the dispenser that extended over the wooden horses.
This earned her one more free ride, a fist of victory into the air, and a big smile splashed across her adorable little face that made me feel like a kid again, like her dopamine flowed right into my own system.
Luke looked similarly elated, leaning on the half wall next to me, beaming at Luna and giving her a whistle of praise.
We wandered through town as a trio, eventually stopping at one of the casual seafood restaurants along the water for an early dinner.
Luna told us all about her week with her grandparents, what they did each day, the new clothes she bought for school with her grandmother.
Luke brushed his hand over my leg under the table once or twice.
I wanted to reach down and hold his palm there, resting on my bare thigh, but I resisted.
He’d been hesitant about touching me all day.
It’s because we haven’t told Luna yet, and he doesn’t want her to be confused, I reminded myself.
What were we waiting for?
We biked home after eating and put the bikes away in the shed. The day’s cloudiness made it feel later than it was.
“Alright, two hours to your bedtime. Wanna watch a movie?” Luke asked as we walked around to the front of the house.
“Yeah. How to—”
“Luna, I love the little dragons as much as the next guy, but can we please watch something else?”
I bit my fist to keep from laughing. There was true anguish on his handsome face. Luke caught my eye over Luna’s head. How many times? I mouthed to him.
“Hundreds,” he muttered under his breath as he unlocked the front door.
“Fine,” she droned, recalcitrant. “I guess we could watch something new.”
“Thank goodness, I’ll pick it out.” Luke launched himself over the back of the couch and lunged for the remote.
“Dad!” Luna squealed, running around to the front of the couch, throwing herself across his lap, and reaching for the remote too.
“Nope, it’s my turn.” He held the little black device up over her head where she couldn’t reach. “But you have veto power, deal?”
She sighed dramatically. “Deal.”
My heart expanded in my chest just watching them.
“C’mon, Val.” Luke tapped the couch cushion on his other side.
They picked a cute Disney movie about a little Italian sea monster. The darker it got, the more I leaned into Luke, feeling starved for his touch after playing platonic friends all day. Eventually, his arm wrapped around my back and his thumb rubbed soothing circles on my shoulder.
When the movie ended, Luke turned to Luna and said, “Alright, go brush your teeth and put on PJs. I’ll be up in a few minutes.”
“Night, Luna.” I smiled at her.
“Night, Val!”
When the upstairs bathroom door closed, I turned to face Luke on the couch.
“I guess I shouldn’t stay over, since she doesn’t know yet?”
My eyes searched his for an explanation. It was dark in the room now, the only light coming from the muted credits running down the screen. The low lights flickered across his chiseled features.
“Yeah, uh.” He ran a hand down his face. “I think that’s for the best.” He leaned over to kiss my lips, soft and tender, like he was trying to reassure me.
“Okay,” I said softly. “Why—why didn’t we tell her today?” We’d agreed to tell her when she got back.
She was back.
He considered how to respond for a long moment, face unreadable. My heart thundered like a bass drum in my chest, accelerating with each second of silence. “There’s a lot going on right now. She’s going back to school in a couple of days, we need to work out a new schedule—hers, mine…yours.”
Oh, right. He had no idea what I was doing this fall because I took that stupid interview.
I already had to ask Clara’s mom if the girls could have a long playdate on Tuesday so Luke wasn’t in a lurch when I left for Boston.
He was probably wondering if he needed to line up more help, which he would if I took this job. What a mess.
“I’m sorry. I kinda messed up our ability to plan, huh?”
He kept his palm on one of my knees. “It’s okay.
You need to do what you need to do. We’ll figure it out.
” His voice lacked its usual confidence.
It made me feel sick to my stomach. “But I think it might make more sense to wait to tell Luna until things are more settled. Give you the space to make up your mind.”
Make up my mind about what? Them? My mind was totally made up when it came to loving Luke and Luna and wanting to be part of their lives. Or maybe he meant make up my mind about my career?
I was about to ask what he meant when Luna’s voice floated down the stairs. “Dad, are you coming?”
“Get some rest,” Luke said to me. “You still good to take her tomorrow?”
“Yeah, we’re getting mani-pedis.”
“Oh, boy. Put it on my card. Yours, too.” I opened my mouth but he cut me off. “C’mon, that’s not an expense, that’s a treat.”
“Fine. Thank you.” I smiled. He took my face between his rough hands and kissed me, running his tongue over my lip before nipping it playfully.
I hummed.
His lips stilled but lingered against mine, like it took effort for him to pull back. “Night, baby,” he murmured, forehead pressed to mine.
“Night, Luke.”
He squeezed my hand and turned to head upstairs.
Love you.