Chapter 8 #3
“Justin was my first real boyfriend,” I explain.
“I met him my freshman year at UVM. I thought we were being careful. But… apparently not enough. At the end of my second semester, I discovered I was pregnant. I was scared, of course. That was never part of my plan. I wanted kids, but later. After college. After I experienced life.”
Ronan laces his fingers between mine. “That makes sense.”
“But I wanted Haley. There was never any question of that. I just hoped… I thought Justin would support me. I didn’t expect marriage.
But I thought he’d step up. Except when I told him…
” I shake my head. “He said he didn’t want any part of it.
That if I wanted to have the baby, I’d be doing it on my own. ”
Ronan’s jaw tightens. Anger narrows his gaze. “So he didn’t help you? At all?”
“Nope. Not before she was born or after. I gave him the chance, though. After Haley was born, I sent Justin pictures. Videos. I asked him to come visit. Not because I wanted him back. I just thought… he was her father. I wanted her to know him.”
“But he didn’t come.” It’s said with a hint of anger.
“He didn’t,” I affirm. “He never even responded to my messages.”
“What about child support?”
“I didn’t ask. Maybe that was foolish, but for a while, I still held out hope that he’d come around.
I didn’t want to make things weird and make him not want to see her.
Later, when I thought about pushing for support, I heard things about Justin.
From people I knew in college, I mean. That he was unemployed.
That he was bouncing from one couch to another.
That he was blowing what little money he had on alcohol. ”
“Shit.” Ronan scowls at his glass. “What a—”
“Yeah.” I nod in agreement. “By then, I had my job at Blissful Brews. My mom was helping out. I had things pretty well under control. And honestly, I didn’t want to have anything to do with Justin. So… I just let the whole child support thing go.”
“And you haven’t heard from him in—”
“Not since before Haley was born.”
Ronan mutters something unintelligible. Then he releases a heavy sigh. “And now he’s contacting you. How many times, if I can ask?”
“Twice so far. The first time I told him to contact my lawyer. This time, he just said more of the same. He wants to talk. Meet me. That we don’t need the lawyers—”
“Yes, you do.” His voice comes out sharp, and I startle. “Sorry,” Ronan adds in a gentler tone. “I just… Maybe it’s not my place. Shit. I know it’s not. But I don’t want him bothering you. Harassing you. If he has some stupid, asshole idea of trying some shit—”
Ronan’s fierce defense of me makes me feel even better. “I’m not going to talk to him. I’m leaving it up to my lawyer.”
“Still.” He leans forward. “If you need help, a friend of mine is married to an attorney. Her name’s Charlie. She’s in New York, but I bet she could help. Or she’d know someone who could.”
I’m filled with the oddest sensation, like the sun is coming awake inside me.
“I’m not worried about the legal stuff,” I tell him.
“No judge would grant Justin custody. It’s just…
stressful hearing from him. And I don’t want him showing up out of the blue, confusing Haley…
She knows she has a dad, obviously. But it’s taken years for her to accept that he’s not going to be a part of her life. ”
“Shit,” he repeats. “A man who’d walk away like that…” I watch as Ronan works to control his emotions. “Anyway. You know I’m here. Whatever you need. If you want GMG to look into this guy, or—” his voice dips. “I can have a word with him.”
“It’s okay.” As I look into Ronan’s fierce gaze, my heart swells.
This is the kind of man I used to dream about, back before I shut my fantasies away.
This is the kind of man I’ve been hoping for, even when I didn’t want to admit it.
“If you’re not in the mood for dinner,” Ronan says. “We can get our food to go. Whatever you want.”
“No, I want to stay.” Pushing worries of propriety aside, I rise from my seat and lean across the table.
Then I kiss Ronan on the lips. “I want to stay. Enjoy our first real date. Go for a walk in the park and then go back to my place and maybe do more of this.” I kiss him again. “If you want to, that is.”
Desire flares in Ronan’s gaze.
Then he stands, rounds the table to my side, and pulls me into his arms. “I want all of it,” he says. His head dips, and his mouth covers mine.
His hand cradles the back of my head.
He nips my bottom lip and lightly tugs at it.
I gasp at the sensation.
Need pulses at my core.
I’m dimly aware that we’re in the middle of the restaurant, and Ronan is kissing me in plain view of everyone. But I can’t bring myself to care.
So what if people see me kissing Ronan? What’s wrong with that?
But all too soon, Ronan pulls away, leaving my body humming with pent-up desire.
His eyes are nearly black as he looks into mine. “I didn’t plan on kissing you like that,” he says roughly. “Not here.”
“That’s okay,” I breathe. My face is hot. My heart is beating so hard I can hear it. “I’m glad you did.”
Once we’re both seated again, Ronan gazes at me with an intense, almost possessive expression. “I’m glad I did, too.” A corner of his mouth tugs up. “And I can’t wait to do it again.”