Chapter 17 #2
After all, Marissa’s parents forgave me. While Alec was investigating my case, he talked to Mr. and Mrs. Everts, and they swore they didn’t hold Marissa’s death against me. “Poor Hazel was a victim, too,” Mrs. Everts told him. “I just hope she’s doing okay.”
I wasn’t. Not for a long time. But now? I am.
I’m slowly learning to let go of the guilt, thanks to the help from Alec and his friends. Or rather, my friends, too.
I’m back at work, enjoying the build-up to the holiday season. And though I never expected to love working at a bar this much, I do.
Bliss has become so much more of a home than Boston ever was.
And I have Alec. The man I love.
My heart skitters at the word. Love.
“Haze.” Alec rolls me onto my back and pulls away from me, making a regretful face as he does it. “As much as I’d love to stay like this all morning, I don’t want to make a huge mess. Just stay here and I’ll be back to clean you up.”
Then he kisses my forehead before heading towards the bathroom, giving me a tempting view of his butt as he walks away.
While I wait for him to come back, I spin the word around again, testing it in my mouth.
Love.
I love you.
Am I brave enough to come out and say it?
When Alec returns, damp washcloth in hand, he says, “So. I was thinking. About the holidays. You liked going to my parents’ for Thanksgiving, right?”
“Yes. Of course.” I smile at him. “Your parents are great. And so is your sister and her family.”
As we talked about, I went to Boston with Alec last week for Thanksgiving, and while I was nervous at first, everything went great.
Better than great, really. His parents were warm and welcoming, his sister and brother-in-law were super nice, and their kids were so adorable they set my biological clock ticking.
“The reason I ask,” Alec explains, “is because my mom asked about Christmas. I know it’s almost a month off, but if you couldn’t tell, she loves the holidays.”
“I could tell,” I agree. “And I love it. All the decorations, and the traditions…”
“Yeah.” Alec’s expression softens with affection. “They’re pretty great.” A beat, and then, “So she was wondering if you were coming for Christmas. Usually I’ll stay in Bliss for Christmas Eve, celebrate with the team, then head to Boston early the next morning.”
He stops again. In a tone that sounds almost nervous, he asks, “Would you want to come? For Christmas? I’d love it if you did.”
“You want me to celebrate Christmas with you?”
Alec puts the used washcloth on the nightstand and gets back under the covers.
He pulls me into his arms, turning me so I’m facing him.
“Of course. I want to spend every holiday with you. And Christmas… it’s special.
We have a big brunch after we open presents, and later we go caroling with a bunch of people in the neighborhood.
Later, we come back and watch Christmas movies and drink spiked hot cocoa and eggnog and gorge ourselves on cookies. ”
“You go caroling?”
Alec actually blushes. “Yes. My mom insists on it. Tradition, you know? But don’t tell any of the guys. I’ll never hear the end of it.”
Warmth bursts in my chest. “I won’t tell. I promise.”
“So, do you want to come?” He holds my gaze. “I understand if you don’t want to, but—”
“Yes.” I kiss him hard on the lips. “I would love to come. And—”
My heart skitters.
My stomach ties into knots.
“And what?”
“I love you.” It just bursts out.
Alec’s eyes widen. “You do?”
Feeling slightly lightheaded from my frantically pounding pulse, I say, “Yes. I’ve been thinking it for a while now, but I wasn’t sure if it was too soon to say anything.” Ducking my head, I mumble, “If you don’t feel the same way, it’s okay. I understand. I just—”
“Haze.” Alec pulls me against him. His heart is racing as quickly as mine. “I love you, too.”
“You do?”
“Yes. Yes.” He adjusts me in his arms so he can look at my face. Tracing a finger down my cheek, he adds, “I have, sweetheart. But with everything that happened, I didn’t… I thought I should give you time. And when I met with your counselor, she said—”
“No life-changing decisions yet?”
“Something like that.” He pauses. “I didn’t want to lay something else on top of you. Or make you feel uncomfortable since you’re staying with me. But shit, Haze. I’ve known I love you for a while now. I just wasn’t sure of the right time to say it.”
Everything in me settles. “I wasn’t sure, either.”
After a few silent seconds, Alec asks, “So, we’re in love? Is that right?”
My heart gives a happy jump. “We’re in love.”
“And… are you still happy staying here? Because I love it. Having you living with me.”
I nod quickly. “I’m really happy here.”
His gaze softens. A tender smile lifts his lips. “So you want to stay?”
My throat goes thick. “Yes. If you want me to.”
Alec hugs me again. “Yes. Yes, Haze. I want you to stay.” His lips press to my hair. “I can’t think of anything I’d like more than to have my amazing girlfriend—the woman I love—staying with me.”
And there goes my heart, melting into a puddle again. “Okay.” I grin at him. “Then I’m staying.”
He grins back at me. “Perfect.” A beat, and then, “Since it’s almost December, what would you think about getting a Christmas tree to put up here? For our first Christmas together?”
Joy blossoms inside me. “Yes. I can’t wait to celebrate Christmas with you.”
And in the back of my mind, a hopeful wish.
Maybe, just maybe, I’ll end up celebrating the rest of my Christmases with Alec, too.