Chapter 17 #2
She draws a shuddery breath. “I don’t have much experience with healthy relationships, but I should have known giving you the benefit of the doubt would be a better way to handle things.
I’ll probably screw up again, and I’ll get scared—so scared.
” Her fingers tighten around mine. “But I know I don’t want to lose you.
You’re my person, Luke. The man I’m meant to be with.
I want to build a life together. To raise our daughters together and grow old and wrinkled together. ”
“God, Hazel.” She’s describing my literal dream. “I want that, too. All of those things, but I especially want them with you.”
“Here.” She lets go of my hand and pulls something out of her pocket. “I want you to have this.”
I stare as she places a watch in my palm. “Is that the crazy-expensive watch you got for your father?”
“The Breitling Navitmer, yes. And hearing that out loud convinces me this is another lame, overpriced gift.” She makes a face.
“But these past few months, I’ve come to realize that you are the true number one dad.
You’re selfless and sweet and creative and funny.
You know what it means to lead by example.
You show up for the people you love. You’re sentimental and humble and so full of heart.
I know, without even meeting our daughters yet, that you will be exactly the dad they need. The very best dad in the universe.”
I study the watch, which is nicer than anything I’ve ever owned. “Think we can change the engraving to say that?”
“Look at the back,” she says, smiling.
I flip it over, laughing as I take in the words. “Dead Sexy Daddy,” I read off the back. “Nice.”
“It seemed fitting, since you are. But you’re also the man who makes me laugh again and again with your irreverent sense of humor. I didn’t know how much I needed that until you came into my life.”
“I’ll wear it proudly.” Chuckling, I fasten the watch on my wrist. “And I promise to never lose sight of my drive to be a great dad.”
“Right. Well, while we’re on the subject.” She turns and grabs a file folder off the changing table. When she turns back around, she holds it in front of her like a shield. “Your father’s a prick.”
“Uh . . . okay.” I didn’t see that coming. “Care to elaborate?”
“I met him. Well, not in person. Just a video call, but that was enough.”
“Noah again?” It’s just a guess, but she nods, and I’m not the least bit surprised. “Meddling asshole.”
“Pretty much.” She looks down at the folder.
“Your father is an accomplished man who’s done a lot of good in the world, and I have his entire dossier here if you want to look at it.
But the bottom line is that he’s just not dad material.
Some men aren’t, and that sucks.” She presses the folder into my hands.
“But you are, Luke. You were born to be a dad. A role model, a nurturer, a healer, a helper. And also an amazing partner. I’m so lucky I met you and even luckier that damn condom broke. ”
Laughing, I set the file on the dresser.
Then I open my arms and pull her to me. “Hazel, honey—I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but it must’ve been something great.
I promise that no matter what, I’ll do my best to communicate with you honestly.
I won’t let my desire to impress you trump my need to be open and honest and straightforward.
We can handle tough conversations together.
I believe in us, Hazel. I believe in you. ”
“God, I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
It’s a challenge to hug her. The oversized beach ball of her belly makes it tricky, but we manage somehow. “I promise to be the best father and co-parenting partner I can possibly be to you.”
“I know you will. And I promise to do everything in my power to be the sort of mother our daughters deserve. Someone kind and patient and loving. The sort of mom I know you had, because I see how she shaped you into the man you’ve become.”
“She really did.” Holding her close, I breathe in the sandalwood scent of her hair. “I know you’ll be a great mom, Haze.”
“I’m going to try. And I’ll also work hard every day to be the very best co-parenting partner you could ask for.”
“You already are.”
“God, I’m so lucky. I get to be with the ultimate Dead Sexy Daddy.”
Chuckling, I brush my lips over her temple. “Don’t let it go to your head.”
She shifts in my arms with a sound I can’t quite identify. “Um, Luke?”
“Yeah?” I bury my face in her hair, so happy she’s in my arms again.
“Not to kill the mood, but I think my water just broke.”
I leap back in alarm, nervous system launching into panic mode. “Are you okay? Are you in pain? Is this too soon? Should we call someone or—”
“Molly told me this morning it could happen anytime.” She winces, then looks at her shoes. “I think those are goners. Ew.”
“Not ew.” Kissing her softly, I smile. “It’s part of you—part of us.” Grinning, I pick up the go-bag in the corner. “Now let’s get to the hospital.”
Laurel Alina Spencer-Lovelin and Rosemary Dawn Spencer-Lovelin arrive in the world on a sunny Wednesday morning in February.
They’re surrounded by love and by family.
“It’s my turn to hold Rosie.” Mason bumps Lucy as he cradles a wrinkly infant in his arms. “The superior twin is always born first. Everyone knows that.”
Lucy glares at her twin and doesn’t trade babies yet. “They’re identical, you idiot. And they’re both perfect.”
“Agreed,” Mason says, rocking the baby. “Think I can score one of these?”
I watch Hazel’s cousins cradling our girls. “Not that specific baby, no.”
“Please don’t steal babies,” Hazel requests from her hospital bed. “Ours or anyone else’s.”
I move to her side, planting a kiss on her temple. We watch in bemusement as Lucy starts to hand Rosemary over to Mason. “Okay, I’ll trade now. Give me Laurel, please.”
“Wait,” Mason says. “She’s making that cute face again. Okay, here.”
As soon as they’ve swapped, Lucy smiles. “The joke’s on you, jerk—she needs her diaper changed.”
“I’ve got it,” I say, swooping in to take my daughter. “I’m a pro at this already.”
“He is.” Hazel watches me work, the pride in her eyes lighting me up from inside. “At the rate he’s going, he’ll be breastfeeding in no time.”
Chuckling, I keep my gaze trained on my daughter. She flails one wrinkled pink fist as I peel off the poop-filled diaper and tidy her up for a new one.
I know I’m supposed to find this part of it gross, but I can’t stop marveling at what a miracle it is. I helped make this tiny human. I’m a dad.
Not a bad one at that.
At some point while I’m changing my daughter, Mason and Lucy say their goodbyes and file out of the room.
With their scheduled shift finished, we’ll soon see more family come through.
I’ve lost track of the order, but it might be my mother or maybe Cassidy and Jake.
Could be Amy and Cooper or even Hazel’s own mom flying in from Croatia.
I love that they’ve drawn up a schedule so everyone can meet our girls and nobody gets left out.
“Here you go.” I hand her back to Hazel. “Fresh as a daisy.”
“Thank you, my love.” She stretches to kiss me. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Proud of me?” Chuckling, I drop into the chair next to her bed. “You’re the one who did all the hard work.”
“That’s right, I did.” She shifts in the bed, wincing a little as she tucks our sweet girl into her hospital crib. “How about you give birth next time?”
“Deal.” Wait. “You’re already planning for next time?”
“That was a figure of speech.”
“Okay, well here’s something that isn’t.” Reaching into my pocket, I pull out the ring I’ve been saving for just the right moment. “This isn’t a proposal.”
“Uh, okay.” She stares at the bling in my hand. “You thought this might be a good time to discuss the chemical structure of lab-grown diamonds versus natural?”
“No. I mean—this one’s real. Natural, that is.”
“Okay.” Her flawless brow furrows. “Care to elaborate?”
“I want to marry you, Hazel.” I lower the ring, since it shouldn’t be the focus right now. “But I don’t want it to feel like I’m only proposing because you just squeezed two six-pound humans through your vagina.”
“Six pounds, three ounces, thank you very much.” She winces again. “Go on.”
“I love you so much, babies or no babies.”
“I love you, too.”
We’re off to a good start. “Now that our daughters are here, I know we’re bound together forever, one way or another. But I want to be bound together by more than our kids.”
“Uh, Luke?”
“Yes?”
“This still sounds like a proposal.”
She’s right, it does. “It’s a proposal if you want it to be, but mostly I just want you to know how serious I am about committing to you. When the timing feels right, I have every intention of marrying the fuck out of you because I love you—not because of the babies.”
Tears fill her eyes, and she laughs. “So romantic.”
“That’s okay, since it’s not a proposal.”
“Right.” She pretends to get serious. “But just so you know, if it was a proposal, I’d say yes.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“Good to know.” This is going better than I thought. “Okay, well I kinda pictured something more traditional for proposing to the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Candles, maybe some scenic locale—”
“Luke?”
“Yeah?”
“You knocked me up when I ripped off your clothes in my foyer. We’ve been through misunderstandings and family drama and pregnancy bloat that turned me into a gassy mess.
Since you pulled out that ring, you’ve discussed my vagina and declared you’d like to marry the fuck out of me.
I think we’re beyond tradition, don’t you? ”
“Good point.” I hold up the ring again. “Hazel Spencer—whenever and wherever you’re ready, I would love nothing more than to marry you.”
She peers at the ring. “It’s beautiful. Where did you get that?”
“Stole it,” I quip, sliding it onto her finger. “I held up a liquor store and planned to use the cash for an engagement ring.”
“Good plan.”
“But then I figured I may as well pocket that cash for a honeymoon and rob a jewelry store, since I was already getting pretty good at it.”
“Such an efficient use of burglary skills.” Laughing, she rolls her wrist so the stone catches the light. “What I meant was, when did you get that? Have you just been carrying around a random ring in your pocket in case the mood struck?”
“Jake gave me the diamond.” That sounded weird. “After we announced you were pregnant, he pulled me aside and explained how your grandmother left one for everyone. Each of the grandkids got a diamond from a brooch that belonged to your grandma.”
“Wait.” Tears fill her eyes. “I knew about those, but I thought they were just for the Spencer-King kids. That Grandma decided my branch of the family had enough money.”
“It was never about money.” Touching the ring, I turn it around so the stone sits straight on her finger.
“It’s about family. Belonging. Tradition.
” All things that I know are important to Hazel.
“I quizzed Lucy about that gift shop where your grandmother took you for your twelfth birthday. The one where you got that ring on your pinkie?”
She blinks. “But that shop closed years ago.”
“I know. I tracked down the artist who made all the jewelry. Turns out he’s a talented craftsman.
He makes some cool stuff when he’s given the right materials.
” Touching the band, I point out the details.
“That’s white gold from my late-grandma’s wedding band.
And these little aquamarines and sapphires on the sides represent the lake and the ocean where you grew up. ”
She turns her hand, admiring the flash of the stones. “Luke, it’s so beautiful.”
“So are you.” Kissing her softly, I smile. “I forgot the question part of all this.”
“Because it wasn’t supposed to be a proposal.”
“Right. Guess I fucked that up, huh?”
Laughing, she gives me a playful wave of encouragement. “You may proceed with the proposal.”
“Right.” Clearing my throat, I get down on one knee. I find myself staring at the rail of her hospital bed.
“Luke?”
“Yeah?”
“We can skip this tradition, too. I’d rather not stare at the top of my future husband’s head while he professes his love.”
“Good idea.” Lurching back up, I plant my ass in the chair and take hold of her hand. “Hazel Spencer—you are the love of my life, the mother of my children, and the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
“I will.” Laughing, she throws her arms around my neck. “I’d love to marry you.”
“Good.” I kiss her again, then grimace. “You’ll have to forgive me that I didn’t get your dad’s blessing. Didn’t really have time for a prison visit.”
“We don’t need my dad’s permission to live happily ever after.” She smiles. “Just our own.”
“In that case,” I say, darting a glance at our daughters, “permission granted.”
Touching my chin, she guides my gaze back to her face. “We’ll make our own blessings.”
And as my lips meet hers, I couldn’t agree more.