Chapter 13
Chapter
Thirteen
IRIS
Fuck, London is expensive.
I know I told Julius that when I met him in London, but the more I look, the more discouraged I get. I thought renting might be a little bit better, but it isn’t.
I have been spoiled. I owned my own place in Boston that was paid off long before I inherited it from my family, so I never paid a mortgage.
Then we moved here, and Max refused to let me pay anything for the apartment.
It’s owned by The Williamson Group, and he said that part of the package of coming with him was free room and board.
Hell, even when we travel, we almost always stay at our own hotels, which means we don’t pay a dime.
It has been a long time since I have had to consider spending money on a place to live. When the hell did the cost of living become so high? How did I miss it?
I know it makes me sound like a rich bitch. The fact that I never considered money in this sense for a long while. It makes me realize that I have become so dependent on Max and The Williamson Group.
I’m still not sold on leaving the company, but maybe I should start considering gaining some independence from them.
It’s not like I don’t have the money. I have saved most of my salary for the past decade, only splurging on clothes and shoes from time to time.
I still don’t want to drop so much of it on a place I am not sold on, though. None of the places in London speak to me. None of them make me think of home.
Because it isn’t home.
I always thought I would be happy to move to London if I could, but now I’m wondering if that is a thought one has when visiting but never actually means. Would London lose its magical luster if I moved there? Would I become blind to the parts of the city I have come to love?
A knock at my door has me shutting my laptop. Thank God because I was getting a headache.
Opening the door, I smile when I see the doorman Bernard.
“Whatcha got for me?” I ask.
He hands over the basket with a smile. “A very strapping young gentleman dropped it off. Said he didn’t want to come up. Only wanted to make you smile. I like him.”
I grab the card and read it.
Thinking of you.
Clint.
“I do too. He’s a good guy. Thanks.”
“Have a good day, Miss Iris.” As he turns to walk away, the elevator dings and Max steps out.
I watch as he greets Bernard before coming toward me.
“Oh, what’s this?” he asks, but there is some tension in his voice.
I frown, wondering what is wrong with him. “A gift from Clint. What are you doing here? Didn’t you just get back from Vegas?”
He grabs the basket, walking it inside my place without asking. I shut the door behind him and make my way to the kitchen, where I find him picking through my basket.
“Hey, that’s for me.”
He gives me a “really” look.
“You aren’t going to eat chocolate-covered raisins, but I will. Come on, now, Iris.”
He’s not wrong.
I move closer and look through the basket. Sure, there are some things I will eat, but most of them are things I don’t exactly enjoy.
“Does this guy even know you at all? First yellow flowers and now a basket of chocolate?” Max sneers.
“I like snowcaps and the sea salt caramels,” I mutter.
“Yeah, when you are on your period. Otherwise you prefer to eat fruity stuff like those disgusting circus peanuts and jelly beans and shit. I don’t know why you even like the guy,” he huffs, grabbing another item from the basket.
I snatch it out of his hand and throw it back in. “No. You don’t get to do that. You’ve known me ten years, so of course you know things about me. Clint and I are getting to know one another. He is a good guy, and he is trying. What is your problem?” I hiss at him, my anger rising.
“He isn’t right for you,” he growls.
I throw my hands up. “I don’t even know what is right for me anymore.
I have been so far up your ass for ten fucking years helping you run the hotel, and now this…
I feel like I’ve lost myself. I have no idea who I am right now or who I want to date.
I will never figure it out if I don’t go out and try new things.
Sure, Clint isn’t perfect, but he is a good guy.
He treats me right and makes me laugh. Right now, that’s the only thing that matters. ”
Max drops the chocolate-covered raisins before moving toward me. I step back until I hit the counter opposite the island. He keeps coming until he has me caged in. My breaths are coming fast as I register the look in his eye. He is angry.
I’m not scared of him. This is the most emotion regarding me I have seen from Max. In the past month, he has acted more out of character than he has in ten years. It makes me wonder what the change is.
Could it be me?
Is he going to kiss me? Do I still want him to?
“What are you doing, Max?” I rasp out.
He ignores my question, cupping my cheek. “You deserve the fucking world. You might not be able to see that man for what he is, but I can, and let me tell you. He isn’t good enough for you.”
“Oh, and you are?” The question slips out, making me hold my breath.
“Of course not. You deserve way better than me,” he says, his finger pulling my lip down for a moment before his eyes meet mine.
“Will anyone ever live up to your standards?” I whisper.
I wait with bated breath for his answer.
It could change everything.
MAX
God, I want to kiss her.
It’s the only thought in my head. I could do it too. I think she would let me. The way her breath is coming heavier. The look in her eyes. Her body sways closer to mine as I pin her against the counter.
I know I don’t always catch onto social cues, but these I’ve got down. Iris would kiss me if I wanted right now.
This isn’t me. I don’t do this. Even with past romantic encounters, it was never like this. I don’t know what has gotten ahold of me, but I’m grateful for it. Right now my nerves are nowhere in sight as I stare down at her.
Her lips look so plump. I could take them with my own. Kiss her until she lets out a little moan into my mouth. Mold her body to mine.
It wouldn’t be right, though. Not like this. Not while arguing about another man.
That’s not to say I’m giving up. No. I want to do this the right way. When she finally gives in to me, I want it to be because she only wants me. I don’t want the other fucker to even register.
So as much as it kills me, I can’t kiss her. Not yet.
Yet.
I hold onto that as I back away.
“No one will ever be good enough for you, but you will find someone who will spend every last day of his life trying to be,” I tell her.
It’s me. I will be that man, but I don’t say that. It’s too soon. Moving too fast.
Truth is, I planned to come to her and proclaim my love. I was going to ask her to date me and give me a chance.
Now I see that it would have been a mistake. She has feelings for this other guy. I can’t come barging in and tell her she can’t date him because she should be with me.
I need to use my actions to show her that I am the best choice for her. I need to make it to where she doesn’t even remember his name.
“Clint isn’t a bad guy. I wish you would get to know him,” she says.
I shake my head. “I appreciate that, but I still think that he should know you a bit better by now. It’s been over a month since we were at that bar. If it were me, I would already know all your favorites. He already has a strike, Iris. I don’t offer three.”
She sighs. “I’m going to keep dating him, Max.”
I nod. “That’s fine. You should if that is what you want.” The words burn like acid in my throat. “I would never stop you from doing something you truly love. I hope you know I only want what is best for you. In your life and work. I love you, Iris.” I swallow hard. “Always have.”
The impact of the words doesn’t hit her the way they hit me. I knew they wouldn’t. I’m not proclaiming my love like I planned. I’m only telling her what she thinks is the truth. That I love her as a friend. She isn’t ready for more right now.
She will be, though.
“I know. I love you too, Max. I won’t say I’m happy, but I’m trying to be,” she admits.
I move closer to her, pulling her into my arms.
I want to ask her about the job. Ask her if it’s work that is part of the problem.
I don’t, though. Instead, I hug her to me and rest my face on the top of her head.
“When did we drift so far apart?” I murmur against her head.
She lets out a sigh. “I don’t know.”
“We used to talk about all of this shit, and now I feel like you are drifting away from me. Is that what you want? To have space?” I say in a low tone.
She is quiet for several long moments. My heart is in my throat as I think about her answer. If she says yes, will I step away? Could I? Even knowing how I feel?
I don’t think I can. I have to at least take a shot. If I don’t, it will be my biggest regret.
When she finally speaks, she hugs me tighter. “No. I don’t need space from you. I don’t know what is going on in my head right now, so I am having a hard time talking to you about it. You’re still my best friend, though. Nothing will change that.”
Relief fills me even if her words don’t ring quite true.
I know she won’t mean for anything to change, but if she takes the job in London, it will.
It won’t be right away. First, we will continue to talk daily.
Phone calls will turn to texts. The texts will come less and less until her birthday comes and the only reason I remember is because of a notification on my calendar.
I won’t love her any less, but it’s the reality of the world. Time and difference pull even the strongest pairs apart.
“I’ll do everything I can to keep you happy,” I promise her. “Now I know you don’t really want this candy, so how about I run back to my apartment and grab my emergency supply of Sour Patch Kids? We could watch the new episode of Survivor.”
She laughs against me before she pulls back.
“Deal. I’ll order Chinese. Meet back here in ten?” she asks.
I nod. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
On impulse, I lean in and kiss her cheek close to the corner of her mouth. It’s not quite inappropriate, but it still makes my dick twitch in my pants.
Then I leave without another word.
I am going to win Iris over if it’s the last thing I do.
I only need to figure out a new strategy.