Chapter 14
Chapter
Fourteen
IRIS
As I sit at the table in the middle of a busy restaurant, my mind races.
Last night I would have let Max kiss me.
I wanted him to kiss me. It was like every single fantasy of mine had come true.
In all honesty, I don’t know if I’ve ever wanted to be kissed so desperately.
Ever since, all I’ve been able to think about is him.
I feel like my mind is a whirl of emotions. I don’t know how to make sense of any of it.
Max never said that he felt anything for me. Sure, he said he loved me and always had, but he could have meant that as a friend. I don’t think he did, though. Not the way he brushed my lip. Or the way he stared as if he could devour me at any second.
I have never seen the side of Max that he showed me. Even when we sat down to watch Survivor, he sat closer. It felt more intimate.
I forgot all about Clint and the basket he sent, not even sending a thank-you text until Clint asked about it.
I feel like shit. Clint is a good guy. He doesn’t deserve this.
It is clear that I am not over Max. I don’t know if I ever will be.
I need to break up with Clint before things get too serious.
Max said I deserve better, but the truth is Clint does too.
He did nothing to deserve anything less than devotion.
I cannot offer that to him at this time.
So instead of meeting for an intimate dinner like he had planned, I asked if he could meet for a long lunch instead. It felt more appropriate. Besides, I couldn’t wait another moment.
I need to tell him how I feel as soon as I can. Dating him while having feelings for Max feels like cheating, and it makes my skin crawl. I don’t like it. I feel like I am betraying them both.
I’m sitting at the table tapping the toe of my heel as I wait for him to arrive. The longer I sit here, the more anxious I get.
I look down at my watch and sigh. He was supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago.
In the grand scheme of things, he’s not that late.
This was last minute, and I know getting here can take time between traffic and the number of people milling about.
Still, I want him to show up sooner rather than later.
“Hey beautiful. Sorry I’m late,” Clint says, startling me.
He leans down and kisses my cheek before taking a seat across from me.
“All good. I’m glad you could make it,” I tell him.
“Of course, it sounded important.”
The server comes over, interrupting anything I could have said in response.
“I’ll have a Coke, and can we get some bread? I’m famished,” he tells the woman.
Her cheeks turn red as she nods before turning to me.
She likes him. I don’t blame her. He’s good-looking and charming. Maybe I will suggest he get her number before he leaves.
“Water is fine with me. Can we have a few minutes before we order?” I ask.
“Of course. I will be right back,” she says before sneaking a peek at Clint, but he doesn’t notice.
“So I wanted to talk to you about us.”
He sets his menu down, giving me his undivided attention.
“Oh. That doesn’t sound great,” he admits.
Before I can answer him, his phone rings.
“I’m sorry. I wouldn’t normally take this, but I’m supposed to be at the office. Can I have one second?” he asks.
“Of course. Business comes first. I get it.”
Honestly, I’m relieved. It gives me a second to recollect my thoughts. The server comes back and drops off our drinks along with the bread before she whispers she will be back to take our order.
When Clint finishes, he smiles. “Sorry. I put it on silent. You have me for the next forty-five minutes. I promise.”
I smile. “That is sweet.”
“Sweet. Not what every guy wants to hear. So tell me the truth, Iris. Did the guy finally wise up?” he asks point-blank.
I swallow hard. “Not exactly, but I did realize that I am not quite over him enough to think about dating. I am still trying to read into his actions. That’s not fair to you.”
He nods, looking down. “Guess I should have seen it coming.”
“I am so sorry, Clint. You are an amazing guy. It really isn’t you. I am the problem.”
He chuckles. “Nah, Iris. You could never be the problem. I’m not upset. I think we both knew this wasn’t what we wanted. We were using each other as a crutch. I’m glad I’m here to help you sort through your feelings. Now if only I could do the same.”
Relief fills me. I didn’t want him to hate me. I’m glad he doesn’t.
“Well, we are still friends, right? I can still help,” I tell him.
“Alas, the woes of my ex are a bit more complicated than your story of unrequited love that I am still not sure is unrequited after all.” He raises a brow.
I bite my lower lip before I spit out, “I think he wanted to kiss me.”
“I bet he did.” His smile grows. “If you want him, you should go after it. Does he know you are out to lunch with me right now?”
I shake my head.
“Go back to the office and give him hell. Mention our lunch, but don’t say why. Say it in passing and see if he reacts. If he clenches any part of his body or acts like a dick, then he likes you. He might need a little help admitting it because men can be idiots, but the feelings are there.”
“What about your girl? You want her back? Or would you rather move on?”
He sighs, picking up a piece of bread and buttering it. “Honestly, if she called me tomorrow and said she wanted me, I wouldn’t hesitate. It won’t happen, though. We aren’t in the same place in our lives. So moving on is my only option,” he says, taking a bite of his bread.
“I’m sorry. Maybe one day you’ll get back together. Or maybe you’ll find your forever love. Maybe, say, the server? She has a crush on you.”
“What? Really?” he asks, turning to look for the girl.
“Stop it. You are going to embarrass her. You could maybe ask for her number, though. You don’t have to move on all at once. You could take steps,” I tell him.
“You’re a good friend, Iris. I hope this means we can still talk. I feel like having a friend like you is like finding a shooting star. Rare.”
I shake my head. “Of course we will stay friends. Call me anytime. I want to hear all about your date with Tris here. She looks like she is a sweet girl.”
He groans as the girl in question comes back.
The lunch is longer than I planned, but I don’t regret it.
Clint and I might not have been soulmates, but I think I found a forever friend.
I only hope he finds his happily ever after.
MAX
I should be working, preparing for our meeting, but I feel like I’m vibrating. There is only one thing I know for sure.
I need to see her.
I get up from my desk and leave my office. When I step into the hall, I see Chad’s desk is empty and head toward Iris’s office. Her door is closed, so I knock. When she doesn’t tell me to come in, I frown.
I knock again.
Silence.
I try the handle and find it locked.
“Hey, are you looking for Iris?”
I turn and watch as Chad sets his water bottle on his desk.
“Yeah, I need to talk to her about something. Do you know where she is?”
He nods. “Yeah, she had a lunch date. She told me she would be back in time for the meeting.”
“Lunch date? Do you know with who?” I ask, feeling a sense of dread.
“No, I didn’t ask. I’m assuming it’s personal because I never entered it into her calendar.” He tilts his head. “Hey, are you okay? You look a little flushed.”
“Just warm,” I mutter before I stomp back into my office.
I shut the door behind me and walk to the window that overlooks the city. Usually when I stand here, I watch people scurry around like ants or the cars driving by. It helps calm me. Like watching the waves crash in. Today I can’t see anything.
She’s with him.
I don’t know how I know, but I do.
I know I shouldn’t be jealous. I knew they were dating, but I was hoping that I would convince her to date me instead. I haven’t had enough time. I haven’t gotten to show her what it would be like with me.
Someone knocks on my office door.
“Yeah?” I yell over my shoulder.
“Hey, five minutes until the meeting. You should probably get in there,” Chad tells me.
I look at the clock and wince. I must have zoned out. I’ve been standing in one place for almost an hour. I didn’t even realize I had let my mind take over.
“Is Iris back?” I ask.
“Yeah, she just headed to the restroom.”
I’m not in the mood for this meeting. I should tell Iris to handle it and take the rest of the day off. I can feel the anger in my blood. I know I am on edge. I already have issues handling meetings with others, but today is going to be worse.
Everything is going to grate on my nerves. I am going to have to work twice as hard to keep the irritation from my tone.
Not only that, but I am going to have to look at Iris and not wonder where she has been. If she kissed him before she left. If he walked her back to the building. Does he know what she tastes like?
Shaking my head, I grab my things and head into the meeting. I’m the last to arrive. Another pet peeve of mine. I like to be in here before everyone.
Yet another thing that has me off-kilter.
This meeting is going to suck.
“Sorry I’m late. Let’s get started.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” she hisses as the last person walks out.
“This was a pointless meeting. Nothing even got done,” I scoff as I stand.
I try to leave her behind, but she follows me into my office and shuts my door.
“Even so, you cannot talk to people that way. You owe everyone an apology. I will smooth it over, but fuck, Max. Get your shit together.”
“Me? I’m not the one who went gallivanting out to lunch before this meeting.”
She rears around and pins me with a glare. “I am allowed to have a life outside of this place.”
My heart is hammering in my chest. She said this place, but I heard me. She is allowed to have a life without me.
In London. With Clint.
It’s all irrational, but it still has me spiraling.
“I needed you. You weren’t here.” I try to save face.
“You didn’t call. I would have answered. So tell me what this is really about.”
I let out a little growl. “I don’t like that you were with him.”
“Why?” She crosses her arms.
“I don’t know. I just don’t. He isn’t right for you.”
She snorts. “This again. Max, I love that you are trying to look out for me, but I can make decisions about my life. I don’t need you doing it for me. I know things have gotten muddled over the years, but you are only the CEO here in this building. You don’t get to be the CEO of my life too.”
“That’s not what I meant,” I try to tell her, but she shakes her head.
“This is wildly inappropriate. We can have this argument later, but right now, you owe those people an apology. I would suggest you go make your rounds while I order them all lunch from the Italian place everyone loves. Then come back here and figure out what crawled up your ass because you need to extract it before we talk again. You said I deserve better? So does this company. So be better.”
She leaves my office, slamming the door, and I wince at the sound.
We don’t fight. Not like this. Fuck, I need to get it together. I feel like my life is falling apart in front of my eyes, and I can’t even do anything about it.
Nothing is going the way I want. I need to show her she wants to be with me, and instead I’m acting like a fool.
My cell phone rings. I pick it up, answering before the second ring.
“What?” I snap without looking at the caller.
“What crawled up your ass and died?” Eli asks.
I growl at his words echoing Iris’s. I want to punch something.
“I don’t have time for bullshit, tell me what you need,” I hiss into the phone.
I hear his chair squeak across the line, and I instantly know I have his complete attention.
“Maximilian, what the hell is going on? You’re a grumpy bastard on a good day but never a raging dick, so tell me what happened, or I’ll call Iris and ask her.”
That makes my shoulders bunch with tension.
Iris. God, what would she say to him?
Sighing, I walk over to the couch and flop down onto it.
“Iris is the problem,” I confess.
“Tell me.”
“She’s dating. She may have had a lunch date today, and I may or may not have responded appropriately,” I admit.
He laughs. “You went full possessive jerk on her, didn’t you? I didn’t know you had it in you. I’m proud.”
“Don’t be. She’s pissed at me. Says I need to apologize to my employees.”
“Well, yeah, that’s probably best.” He chuckles. “What about her though? How are you going to make it up to her?”
I sit up. “What do you mean?”
He sighs. “I forget that you don’t see the world like everyone else. You fucked up. You make it up to her. In fact, are you finally going to go after her? If you are, we need to strategize. You can’t do this alone.”
It’s like a light bulb turns on above my head. Why did I never consider asking the guys for help with this? They are all happily together. Could they really help me navigate these feelings?
“We should have a group call tonight,” I tell him.
“Wow. Okay, yeah. I’ll get the guys together. Hey, but start with flowers or something. Buy her something nice. It isn’t always the answer, but it will help soften her. You owe her an apology too, you know.”
I owe her way more than an apology, but I don’t tell him that.
“I’m on it. I’ll talk to you later.”
I hang up, taking a deep breath.
It’s going to be okay. I can fix this.