June’s Entry
June’s Entry
Place: Hospital
Year: Can’t Remember
Time: I don’t know
Zaria,
This may be the last letter I ever write, and hell, I’m struggling to do this.
Before the moon rises, you will be a married woman.
I sent Harvey to make that shit happen. Damn.
To know I’ve found a love so sweet that the taste is embedded on my palate and it’s about to be taken from me makes me want to do some crazy things.
Things that I know could never be forgiven.
Love. The one thing I had been silently praying for since I could remember.
Hell, at one point, I didn’t think such a thing could exist, but you changed that.
I met my grandparents today. I met the very people who stood in the same house as me, and the demon Wonder bread, and didn’t think twice about saving me.
They walked away from me before I knew what life was.
Walked away from me while I was learning what life was like.
How do you forgive something like that? They say my name is Clark Jonathan Mercier, but I know nothing of it.
I’m a fucking Calloway, and no one can change that.
You know that man stood in front of me with every excuse in the book, and although he mustered up tears in his eyes, he held something I’ve seen so many times before.
He is merely a vessel with no soul, and I only know because at one point, when I looked at myself in the mirror, I was the same way.
To walk the earth soulless is a dangerous thing, and that nigga is dangerous.
If I do make it out of all this, I don’t know when or where, but my animal instincts are telling me I’m going to have to put his ass down.
I don’t trust the Merciers. So, if this letter finds you, know that they cannot be trusted, and you do what you have to do to protect our family.
If you have to use the choppa, so be it.
The Zoo is going to stand ten toes down behind you, but trust your gut, Z.
Trust that muhfucka like it’s me standing right next to you, baby, because the last thing I need is to be greeting you in the afterlife sooner than the time God has written for you.
Z, a nigga is tired. The little fight I have left in me, I’m giving it to the surgeon. I’m choosing life, and if God can forgive me for my past, you know the past I have chosen not to talk about, I’ll see you on the other side. Where the greenest grass grows.
Don’t mind the tear stain. It’s just that I don’t want to say goodbye.
A nigga wants to walk away from this like a true king.
I fucking love you with my soul. I love you more than anything or anyone.
Zaria Calloway, it’s been a pleasure loving you.
Thank you for every-fucking-thing. If I don’t see you on the other side, baby, just remember I’ll always, and I mean always, come home to you every night. Even in spirit.
Signed,
Mr. Fucking Calloway